Blame this one on, having been sick with a stomach virus the last 
couple of days and getting a Capital Steps CD for Christmas.

The Flashman
(Proud member of The Church of Tsukino Usagi)

May The Spirit Preserve You!
______________________________

			     A TOTAL DRAG

	I'm a Private Detective.

	My mother named me Hugh; my father named me Jim; and my last name is 
Bissle.  So people call me...

	Hugh Jim Bissle.

	It was late one midnight and I had just gotten my most difficult 
case ever.  I had to get into a property owned by some Native 
Americans.

	I made it in okay and headed straight for the Black Jack tables.  
However, a guy named "Chief Ignores Over Twenty, Hits On Fourteen" 
recognized me, and before you knew it, he threw me out faster then 
Happosai at a Feminists Meeting.

	Kinda like going to have your pet get a check up and finding out the 
vet is named Eggman.

	It was late when I got back to the office and I was tired, so I fell 
asleep in front of the tv.  Suddenly, I was awakened by a noise so 
high pitched, that most humans couldn't hear it.

	At first, I thought someone was having an interview with Chibi-Usa, 
but this was no demonic spawn of cotton candy; it was a vision so 
lovely, it made my head feel lighter than Ranmas wallet after he had 
one of his "little talks" with Nabiki.

	It was a weeping bride.

	I tell ya, I hadn't heard wailing that piercing since my last Priss 
and the Replicants concert.  I asked her what was wrong and she told 
me that the one she loved had chosen someone else and that she wanted 
to get married in the worst possible way.  She wanted to start a 
family.

	I said, "No problem.  There's plenty of fish in the ocean.  Plenty 
of grains of sand on the beach.  Plenty of people who drink like fish 
and pass out on the beach."

	Then I thought to myself, maybe it was time I settled down.  I'd 
been alone longer than Son Gokus dietitian.

	I don't wanna tell you how close I came to proposing.  It would have 
been as easy as Miko Mido in the Shikima realm.

	But my mom told me to be careful, just like she said to me before 
her unfortunate Thigh Master accident.

	Sometimes things hit you in the face.

	'Cause this was no dame.  This was a total drag, because there was 
no way I was marrying a bride named...

	Tsubasa.