Personally i think it's a great story all together. The only part i feel

that's out of place is the whole bank scene. It's something that, well,
doesn't happen imho.

	While I realize that a terrorist attack doesn't fit into the original
series concept, I never promised to stick solely to the main timeline.  I
wanted a very specific set of circumstances,  and this fits it best.  I do
intend to try to stay close to the original feel of R1/2, 'tho.

I like your idea to get the girls together to plan a rescue attempt tho,

that is, IF they can put aside their differences long enuf to even try ;) 

I can visualise this now:

Robber: Umm, excuse me, aren't you supposed to be trying to rescue these

people?

Ukyou: You keep out of this! This is none of your business!

Shampoo: Spatula Girl right! This woman-to-woman fight!

etc etc ;) You could either 1) bring them all in at the same time or 2) one

of them makes the rescue and the others come in later. Either way, the end
result is one huge argument along with millions of yen in property damage ;)

	The whole idea is for the girls to cooperate in rescuing Ranma, so they
will do it together.  I have yet to write past the point I posted last, but
the food Shampoo cooked will have a lot to do with it.  No one says they
have to cooperate WELL, 'tho, so I think I will put in a scene or two like
that!  Spoiler: the dumplings Shampoo intends for Ranma allow empathy
between anyone (and everyone) who eat them within a limited time period,
and within a certain distance.  Shampoo will eat one before she enters the
Tendo home, but will leave them unguarded as she searches for Ranma.
Kasumi will find them and put them out for the rest of the girls to snack
on as they discuss the crisis...  and imagine the fun if/when Kodachi eats
one!

Re: other comments-

   Kodachi whisked her dress off, revealing her black leotard.  Springing
to an open window, she bounded up onto the walls surrounding the Kuno home,
and from there began racing across the rooftops towards the Tendo Dojo. 

Makes sense, I suppose... But I was wondering if you could have the Kodachi
be critically injured when she tries to take on the terrorists?  (Yes, I
REALLY DESPISE Kodachi)

	Sorry, can't do that ;)
	Not only do I NOT intend this to be a darkfic, (so no deadly violence,)
but a penpal of mine in Kansas (Mooncat) LIKES Kodachi and I promised she'd
have a decent part.  Not that I'm very fond of Kodachi either, but you have
to admit her heart is in the right place; it's her head that needs
examination.

   "Come, Kaze-chan.  Get your coat.  We will go to visit Saotome-san at
the Tendo Dojo." 

------- 

Hmmm.... well since I'm guessing most of Nermia knows about Ranma and Co.'s
curses, Kazuko's mom shouldn't be surprised to find out that Ranma was
already at the Bank...

	The key word is MOST of Nerima.  Mrs. Niwa is a stay-at-home traditional
japanese wife, and doesn't get out much.  While she certainly would have
heard of all the crazy goings-on, she's fuzzy on the details (and it was
never established anywhere I've seen that Ranma's name was mentioned in
newspapers or tv reports.  Mostly I think his reputation is word-of-mouth).
 Because I established early on that she lives well outside the area Ranma
and co. usually haunt, I wanted them to be essentially ignorant of the
curse.  That leaves the door open for more potential silliness later.
Besides, in the comics and tv show, even after all the time he's there, he
still runs into neighborhood folk who don't know... like all the store
owners he mooches food from!  If anyone knows different, I'd like to know
about it.
	Of course, she knew he was on his way to a bank to make a deposit because
he said so in chapter one.  But since he did not show in the tv coverage,
and he didn't say WHICH bank, she does not connect the two events together.

	I must say, considering how many holes there are in chapter 2 so far, the
commentary has been very light.  Mostly people have said they like it,
which certainly is encouraging, but not quite what I wanted.  It would be
very helpful if someone would critique my handling of the regular caste and
correct me on any OOC bits there may be.





Larry W. Fontenot
Senior Technician
Earthlink Tech Support
http://home.earthlink.net/~lfontenot/