I dunno, I guess you could call it a crisis of faith.

I'm sitting here, in one of those bummed out moods everyone has now 
and then, where you sit in a funk and take stock of your life (at 
least I *hope* it's not just me).  I'm doing a little research, 
browsing OH MY GODDESS! sites for my monthly web column ("Last Exit 
Before Toll" on the Anime Web Turnpike) when I hit upon some pages of 
fanfic.  That's when it occurred to me: maybe I shouldn't be running 
fanfic panels anymore.

Don't get me wrong: I *love* running the panels.  They're sort of my 
babies, the whole concept having been my idea in '95.  And I think 
I've done a good job, overall.  The last panel had too many members 
on it, but other than that, the panels have been popular and fun.

It's just that I don't feel like I deserve to even SIT on these 
panels anymore, much less chair them.  I haven't completed anything 
since September, and that was just a chapter of my current project, 
which is now a year old with only 3 1/2 chapters complete out of a 
projected 7.  I've come to believe that the only way to make any 
significant progress on the story is to give up writing the "Last 
Exit" column, which I also love.  Add to that the fact that I'm 
running the annual "Favorites Poll" in r.a.a.m, and it becomes likely 
that all I'll be able to do before KatsuCon is finish the chapter I'm 
working on.

Worse, I haven't been keeping up on the fanfic "scene".  I try to 
browse this list, so I'll at least have some idea of what's going on, 
but every time a new 'fic takes the community by storm, it's 
invariably one I've never heard of.

Right now, I'm slated to run the panel at Anime Central.  As far as I 
know, the KatsuCon panel is mine until I say otherwise, although that 
con hasn't contacted me yet.  (I sent them an email today.)

So, I thought I'd ask the FFMLers.  Should I keep on, or is it time 
for me to step aside?  Just as important, if it is indeed time for me 
to move on, who will take my place?  I know there are those who are 
capable (AlberCrombie for example), but are they willing?

Let me know what you think.  And because I'll almost certainly be 
going through with this year's panels, let me know if you're planning 
to attend either KatsuCon or Anime Central, and if you'd like to be 
on the panel.

------RM