Shachihoko: It's been a while since we did an MST, due to my somewhat
limited online time ...
Lina Inverse: But Shachihoko promised the author that he'd MST this, so -
Wasyuu: Here we are! ^_^
On Wed, 7 Jan 1998, RPM - acct 3/5 wrote:
draft v2.0
W: Still a draft, huh?
S: It's why we're here.
L: You mean we don't get to MST completed works?
S: ...
possible problem areas:
computer lingo
invasions
W: Ah, my specialties. ^_^
advice/suggestions/comments appreciated.
have a good day.
S: Advice, suggestions, and a whole slew of comments comin' at you. :)
-David Tai / Rod M.
Demons, in general, are like sheep. They're ill-tempered,
violent, bloodthirsty, backstabbing sheep, but still sheep. One
moves, the others will follow.
W: Funny, that's not how I'd have described Kain ...
L: Or Shabranigdo -
S: Shabranigdo was the Dark Lord, ruler of the Mazoku, wasn't he?
L: <glares at Shachihoko> - or Gaav or Xelloss, *or* any of the other
Mazoku.
S: I think they're talking about Earth demons, not aliens or other
universes.
W: Earth Realm and nearest parallel dimensions, then?
S: Sort of. - Would that include Outworld?
W: Hmmmmm ... probably not ... be an interesting fanfic though.
L: Mortal Kombat isn't anime!
W: Parts of it could be, though. ^_^
S: <grimaces> I'll pass on that ... even the games are too graphic for my
taste.
At the gates of Hell, demons assembled and waited for something
to happen. Only a few really knew what was going on, but passing
denizens of Hell were curious as to why so many were gathered at
the gates, and so they joined in waiting as well.
One demon in particular, a yellow brute with webbed ears, clawed
hands, and a purple cloak, was amused at the scene. This wasn't
just any demon.
He had a rank.
He was a rhyming demon. His name was Etrigan.
"What an amazing sight to see;
Clueless hellspawn around me."
S: Do we really need bad poetry here?
W: It's in character for Etrigan, the way he's described.
A nearby demon nudged Etrigan. "Etrigan! Know you what goes on
here?"
"Ah, friend Ykz'arth'ull-nf'tng,
You've recovered from the exorcism, I see.
As for purpose of this gathering,
The First of the Fallen has willed it to be."
Ykz'arth'ull-nf'tng nodded. "Yes... and?"
"Hell and Heaven to war we go,
The First of the Fallen has made it so."
W: Actually, it's not all that bad. Kind of reminds me of Shakespeare.
S: Or Olde English poetry - like the Canterbury Tales, except the spelling
is modern. For that matter, it's starting to remind me of the Mystery
Plays at Canterbury Cathedral.
L: Canterbury Classical English, then. It could have its uses.
S: <groans quietly>
"You think so?"
"Aye, the signs are all correct,
the time to strike will rarely be better.
The mortal plane is out of balance;
The rumor is Heaven's under the weather."
L: The poetry's getting bad again.
W: It could be worse. Actually, it could be a lot worse.
"Oh. I see."
The demons brooded in silence a bit more, until
Ykz'arth'ull-nf'tng spoke once again.
"Etrigan."
The rhyming demon raised an eyebrow.
"Ever get tired of rhyming?"
<all three MSTers burst into laughter>
David Tai & Rod M.
present...
Dire Fates
A John Constantine: Hellblazer
Ah! My Goddess!
Crossover
Part 3: "Rake at the Gates of Heaven"
W: Ah yes ... their front lawn really needs some serious work.
S: <facefaults>
L: <groans> Wasyuu ...
W: <looks innocent> Hai?
L: No more puns, please?
W: Try and stop me!
<L+S sweatdrop>
Asgard was the home of the Norse Gods and Goddesses. One of
many small cities located near Silver City, it held sway to many
establishments of fine liquor, carnivals, and other festivities.
It was also home to many fine fountains. One in particular was
located in a bustling square, shaded by a few oak trees.
S: Hmmmmm ... needs a bit of work in the second sentence. Try 'it was home
to many fine liquor establishments,' and continue from there ...
It was here that a little Goddess arrived.
Skuld smiled as she climbed out of the fountain. It had been
quite some time since she had been here. She hoped that there
were still some familiar faces.
"Skuld!"
Skuld blinked, and turned. "Who... Idun!"
A bright perky young goddess ran over and hugged Skuld. Skuld
smiled, and returned the hug to the Norse Goddess of Eternal
Youth.
Idun pulled back and beamed. "It's been a while, Skuld! How's
everything down on Midgard?"
Skuld smiled. "Everything's going great! How about you?"
Idun beamed. "Bragi asked me out!"
S: I like the way you're adding some background to Skuld here.
W: But you just said Idun is the Norse Goddess of Eternal Youth ...
(actually one of my patron deities) ... not the Goddess of Beam Weapons.
L: Huh?
S: <aside> Can't see why Idun wouldn't still be Wasyuu's patron goddess.
W: She beamed. Twice in a row. I counted.
L: Since when does beaming, as in smiling, count as an attack?
W: Since smiles were used as defense *against* attack.
S: <clears his throat loudly> In any case, you may want to have Idun smile
or grin once, and beam the other time. Maybe she pulls back and beams the
first time, smiles broadly when she says Bragi asked her out?
Skuld giggled. "About time!"
W: Why? Idun is eternally young!
L: Fire Ball!
<*boom!* Shachihoko, sitting too close to the blast, looks singed and
sooty. Wasyuu's hair is barely moved by the explosion.>
S: Lina, give me some warning before you do that the next time?
L: <laughs nervously> Hai, hai ...
The two young goddesses were soon lost in animated chatter. Before
too long, though, another goddess, wise and middle-aged, came up to
her.
W: It'd have to be animated, wouldn't it?
<Shachihoko immediately dives for cover>
L: FLARE ARROW!
<*boom!!* Wasyuu is still unharmed>
W: <takes a toasted marshmallow off the stick> Arigato! <munches it>
"Welcome home, Skuld. Have you enjoyed your time on Midgard?", the
middle-aged goddess asked.
Skuld smiled. "Laga!" She was on particularly good terms with
the Goddess of Springs and Wells. "Yes, it's been a lot of fun!"
Then she paused. Laga looked unhappy. Very unhappy.
"Skuld, we must talk."
"Wha... what's wrong?"
"They've taken Urd."
"They? Who?!"
"The Archangels. They accused her of scheming to take over
Heaven."
Skuld's frown turned to a scowl. "She wouldn't do that!"
L: Wanna bet?
W: Actually, Skuld's right ...
"I know, but-"
"When I get through with those Archangels... tell John to wait
for me! He should be here soon! He's the blond man wearing
a trenchcoat!"
"No, Skuld! Wait! You can't face them alo-"
Laga was too late, as Skuld disappeared into the fountain in a
rage. She'd show those Archangels a thing or two!
-*-
John Constantine was, if nothing else, a well-travelled man.
He'd crossed the Atlantic by plane, train and even automobile
(although that was one story nobody believed).
W: Hey, he really did! Special floating tires!
Nothing he'd ever put up with before irritated him as much as the
slow drive with Banpei.
"Can't you drive any faster?"
//No.//
W+L: "Are we there yet?"
S: No.
"Cripes."
Through the wilderness of Japan they drove, until the path became
very foggy and serene. There was a tingling feeling at the back
of John's mind, signaling the crossing of worlds.
W: So he *is* the one who snuck into my lab ... I wondered what happened
to that Reality Tracer implant.
He always wondered if he'd get a chance to see how it was up
here.
He was about to find out.
//We have arrived.//
John blinked.
"What?"
//We're in Heaven.//
"A two hour putter about the woods and then suddenly 'poof' we're
here? Just like that, then?"
//Yes.//
W: Short trip.
L: It normally takes a lifetime.
S: Only if you get a one-way ticket. John plans to go back to Earth.
John looked around. As the fog began to clear, he could see
majestic cities on the horizon and angels flying in the skies. He
was expecting more, really. Trumpets, maybe, or a little bit of
a light show.
He shrugged. "Anti-climactic, if y'ask me."
W: Not like it's going to matter so much to you ... and if you want
special effects, just wait a few scenes.
They drove on, through oddly white and ethereal country roads and
woods, until they finally arrived in a fairly small town of
sorts. There were people here, looking fairly ordinary, milling
about.
Most of them gave John a rather odd look, which didn't help his
terribly embarrassed mood.
"Oi, just where are we supposed to stop?"
//To meet Skuld at Asgard, near the realm of Silver City.//
"Not too far from here, issit?"
//A few minutes more.//
L+W: "Are we there yet?"
S: No!
"Good." Please, he thought, please let no one I know see me in
this contraption.
W: Shouldn't have thought that ...
"John! Oi! John, issat you!"
W: I warned you! ^_^
John winced. "Oh no."
L: Who could it be ... ?
With a whoop, holler, and leap, Brendan Finn landed neatly next to
the cart, a bottle of brew in hand. "Haha! John, ye dog! I dunna
believe it!" He began walking alongside the cart, keeping up with the
excruciatingly slow rate that Banpei was driving.
W: <imitating John> "Floor it, Banpei! Let's get out of here!"
L: Banpei *IS* flooring it. That's a mecha-assistant, not a racing car.
John grinned, although a bit weakly. It was good to see an old
friend again, but the circumstances could've been a lot better.
"Hey Brendan. Good to see you."
"An' wha'n the name o'the allmighty is this wee thing y'driving?!"
S: ... and amazingly, Brendan doesn't get tossed out of Heaven on the spot
for violating one of the Ten Commandments.
L: You're only in trouble if you get caught, remember?
<three of the guards from _Aladdin_ show up and grab Lina by the
shoulders>
L: HEY! You've got the wrong character!
Guard #1: Oh, sorry ...
Guard #2: Let's take her in anyway, we're under quota this month.
S: <diving for cover again> . o O ( Remind me to get a bunker installed. )
W: <pulls out a BFG-9000> Let her go.
Guard #3: What's that?
L: <swings her feet back into two of the guards' crotches> HYAA!
G 2+3: <groan and let go> Itai!
L: FIRE BALL!!
<the three guards get blasted back to their own series-world>
W: Thanks. I was out of energy cells.
<Shachihoko sweatdrops as he resumes his seat>
"This little wanker," said John with some annoyance, "was my
ticket in to this joint."
W: Hey, speak more kindly of your conveyance.
Brendan blinked. "Surely, boyo, ye coulda found a better way
t'travel."
"It's not my fault. This was a last-minute arrangement."
L: That's what happens when Skuld's your travel agent.
"Ah. Right then. Y'know me next question, then."
"What am I doing here?"
S: What is the meaning of life?
W: Forty-two.
S: ...
"At'raight, Johnny. Unless ye've gone and become a priest before
yer death, or you've suckered the Almighty..."
L: I wouldn't put that past him.
"Well, mate, that one's a doozy." And so, while Banpei puttered
along, John told Brendan of his misadventures with Skuld, Peorth,
Urd, and Mara. Then he got to the bit about the Yggdrasil, and
finally the big plan.
W: Is he cleared for that level of security?
S: You're thinking of The Big Plan, Wasyuu.
L: This isn't as big?
W: We'll have to kill him anyway.
L: Can't. He's a main character in this fic.
S: Besides, we're in the audience.
W: <elbows Shachihoko> You've read through this already ...
S: I'm not saying what happens.
"Y'know, John," said Brendan, "t'was bad enough when ye fucked
around with the man downstairs. I dunna think s'in yer best
interest to be messin' aboot with _that_."
L: Since when does John Constantine do what's in *his* best interest?
S: Quite a bit, actually ...
W: How would you know? You don't read the comic book.
John grinned. "Says the bloke who sold his soul to the Devil
so's he could have a better beer."
"Aye, t'was a good deal too. After all, I'm up here, aren't I?"
<all three burst into laughter>
John elbowed Brendan. "Thanks to me, you wanker."
"Ach, lookit the time... gonna be late fer the arse-kickin of the
day."
"Hm?"
"Ireland varsus En-ga-lund. Football, y'know. Ev'ry all-star
player who's ever lived... except those tha'went t'Hell.
W: They even have soccer in heaven ...
L: He said football, not soccer.
S: European 'football' is what Americans call 'soccer.' American football
is best compared to rugby in Europe.
W: Naah ... American football has more rules.
John nodded. "Taking off, then? Not sticking around to see the
final mess?"
"I know ye, Johnny. Y'got the Devil's luck. Whatever 'appens,
ye oughta come outta it fine. S'the bastards standin' next to ye
that should be worried."
W: HEY!! Banpei is not a 'bastard' of any kind!
L: It's a figure of speech, Wasyuu!
S: I'd be more worried about the Devil's luck - especially with what's
going on right now.
W: You mean you'll tell us?
S: No. n.n
John laughed. "How very bloody true."
S: . o O ( More foreshadowing ... ^_- )
"Keep in touch, eh? I want t'knoo how yer crazy scheme pans out.
Good luck, ye stupid git." With a wink and a smile, Brendan Finn
disappeared.
"I really hope he doesn't tell the other lads about you,"
grumbled John to Banpei. "I just know every dead mate I got in
Heaven'll pop up in my dreams to give me grief."
W: Dead mates ... wow, he really did sleep around, didn't he?
L: <rests a hand on Wasyuu's shoulder> DIGGER VOLT!
<Wasyuu sizzles with electricity>
S: <winces> That's gotta hurt.
W: <dazed> Just needed to recharge ... <slumps over>
If Banpei was insulted by John's comments, he didn't indicate it,
driving on in silence.
"Oi, how much longer?"
//Almost there.//
L: "Are we there yet?"
S: NO!!
"Right. Good."
-*-
Skuld snuck quietly into the antechamber of the Tribunal
Court. She frowned, and leaned over to listen to the door.
Now what was going on in there? She hoped Urd was all right.
Maybe she should go in...
L: Decisions, decisions ... ^_^
A hand came down on her shoulder. Skuld whirled around to
see Saraquael frowning at her.
"Little one, you should not be here," Saraquael sighed.
Skuld frowned. "My sister's in there, isn't she?"
Saraquael nodded. "Yes. We need to question her. Please,
return home."
Skuld hmphed.
She opened the door and stormed right in. "YOU LET GO OF MY
SISTER RIGHT NOW!"
S: Might want to consider merging those last two 'paragraphs' ...
The room fell silent as the Archangels turned to stare at the
intruder.
L: What, they already put Urd in a padded cell?
S: That would've been 'fell silently,' Lina.
L: Oh.
Urd, seated in a tall chair and surrounded by a cylinder of
light, winced as she saw her younger sister stomp in. This
little stunt certainly wasn't making her look any better, and the
brat would get in trouble too. "Aw great... Get outta here, Skuld!"
L: <imitating Urd> "Run, Skuld! I'll hold them off while you get away!"
Skuld raced to her sister's side. "Urd!" She punched futilely at
the force field around the elder Goddess.
S: That makes it sound like Urd is one of Heaven's upper echelon.
Raguel scowled. "Someone remove her."
Saraquael came up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder.
"Now, little one..."
Skuld shrugged off the hand, and grabbed her mallet, holding it
out in front of her. "I *DEMAND* that you let my sister out
NOW!" She gave a warning swing that left a dent in the floor.
Raguel, who had merely been watching coldly, now showed
sparks of anger. "You... you dare?!"
Skuld smiled. "Yes, I do!"
She gripped her mallet and prepared for action...
L: Skuld's going to need some help if she's taking on the Archangels.
S: She'll get it ... the cavalry is on its way.
-*-
Far away, John could see the tips of many ivory towers extending
into the clouds above. More angels could be seen weaving through
them. As they got closer, John could see the base of the towers,
and the beautiful city that stretched around it.
S: Is that through or among the towers?
L: And do the towers all have a common base?
W: <woozily> Base thirteen ...
S: Welcome back.
W: <pulls some energy cells out of her pockets> Ah, fully charged. Thanks
Lina.
L: <rolls her eyes> Don't mention it ...
"Is that Silver City ahead?"
//Yes.//
"I see. And Asgard is... where?"
//On the other side.//
"Ah."
L+W: "Are we there yet?"
S: *NO!!!*
John's arrival into Asgard was, much like his arrival into
Heaven, anticlimactic. The only improvement was that the scenery
was better. Through metal-bound mighty oak gates they passed.
S: 'Through mighty, metal-bound oaken gates they passed.' And you might
want to merge that sentence with the next somehow ... this is one of the
few times we broke in during a paragraph.
W: Because it worked so nicely. ^_^
The sight that greeted them was, in John's opinion, much akin to
a Norse theme park, only more ethereal. There were deities of
many shapes and sizes milling about merrily, and there seemed to
be a cow holding up traffic on a side road.
For a bunch that doesn't even have worshippers any more, thought
John, they sure were active.
W: What tense is John thinking in?
L: I don't think he's even tense at all. n.n
S: <groans> Go easy on the puns, all right? We're getting close to quota.
Aside from a few strange looks, he was pretty much ignored.
Banpei puttered through the crowds until finally coming to a stop
next to a water fountain.
//We have arrived.//
W+L: "Are we there yet?"
S: No -- YES!!!! We're there!
John looked at the dashboard display skeptically. "This is it,
then?"
//Yes.//
"Right, I need to stretch m'legs." John slowly emerged from the
tiny Banpei-cart and stretched his back, his arms, then shook his
legs a bit. Meanwhile, the go-cart underwent a complex and quiet
change from vehicle to midget mechanoid, which silently followed
John as he paced around the fountain.
W: I really need to borrow Skuld's blueprints one of these times.
S: Ask her the next time you four put your heads together to take down the
Fanfic Mailing List.
W: You know about that, huh? ^_^;
S: I wrote the story, remember? n.n
Something still wasn't right. Even though he was in Heaven, he
still had a nagging feeling that he was being watched by Mara.
How that was possible, he didn't know.
W: All things are possible in an infinite universe.
He sighed, sat down, and pulled out his pack of cigarettes.
"Now, unless any deities 'round here have any objection to me
smoking..."
He paused.
"Good."
"Are you John?" The question caught him entirely by surprise.
The lack of cigarettes he'd had recently, combined with the lack
of alcohol and fact that he really wasn't expecting anyone jarred
him enough for John to jerk reflexively. The unfortunate side
effect was that he accidentally tossed his pack of silk cuts into
the fountain.
L: I think that means 'yes,' there's a deity who objects to you smoking.
He tried not to yell, watching with sad eyes as his cigarettes
sank to the bottom. It was his last pack, too.
"Shit. Friggin' good day this is." He looked at the woman who
had called for his attention. "Well, wotcha want?"
W: Never say that word in Asgard ... n.n
S: I thought you hadn't read this yet.
The woman who had distracted John looked around with a bit of
panic. "Shh! Don't use her name like that!"
"Eh? What'd I say?"
L: You mean you don't know? You were the one saying it.
She opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, John
found himself violently spun around and lifted roughly by the
collar of his shirt. John noted that it was yet another middle
aged woman that was now causing him grief, except that this one
looked a bit pissed.
The other woman sighed. "Oh no. Please, my lady, he did not-"
"Stay out of this, Laga," growled the woman. Laga took a step
back and bowed her head, while she turned her attention back to
John. "How dare you... how DARE you speak in such a manner, here
in THIS domain!"
Unnoticed by all, Banpei took a few steps back, seemingly
embarrassed by the recent turn of events.
John blinked. "What manner? What're you so friggin' pissed
about?"
S: Strike two ...
A passing deity looked at the commotion and decided to walk
faster. "Whoops, someone did it again," he said as he made his
escape.
Her expression darkened. "My name. Do not say my name in that
manner."
He stared at her. "Lady, I didn't say anyone's friggin' name."
L: Strike three. Prepare to fry, oh foolish mortal ...
W: You're mortal too.
L: Oh, right. ^_^; Eheheheheh ...
S: Lina's not foolish though. n.n
"You did it again," she said in a low, menacing tone.
"Lady, what is your bloody problem?"
Suddenly, the woman grabbed him by the shirt and grew to about
twenty feet high. "I SHOULD TURN YOU TO ASHES RIGHT NOW,
INSOLENT MORTAL!"
L: As I said, prepare to fry.
S: However, was she still holding his collar or did she let go to grab
another part of his shirt?
"And just who the friggin' Hell are you?" he shot back, not losing
his cool for an instant.
W: He got a fourth strike?!
Laga pleaded, "Forgive him, my lady! He knows not what he says!
He is a friend of Skuld and here by her invitation! Please show
leniency!"
The deity's expression darkened even further, despite Laga's
pleading. Her eyes narrowed into slits and the eyes within
burned with the rage of the Gods.
"Please, my lady, do not hurt him!"
"I," she growled to him, "am the wife of Odin, chief of all Norse
Gods. I am Frigga."
There was a fairly dramatic moment of silence.
W: Surely they could have done better than that.
John looked at her. "Er..."
Her eyes grew even colder. "I am also known, by far too many
mortals, as..." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Frigg."
John looked right into her eyes and grinned wickedly. He knew he
shouldn't say it. He really tried to resist the urge.
But hey, he figured, he had a reputation to uphold.
"So, am I about to get well frigged or what?"
Laga's jaw dropped. "Oh my."
L: What was Laga's dominion again?
S: Springs and lakes, I think.
L: She sounds an awful lot like Kasumi all of a sudden.
W: It probably flowed downstream.
S: <runs for cover>
L: MEGA BRUNT!!
<*boom!!*>
W: <singed> Toasty. <munches another roast marshmallow>
-------S-L-A-P-------
S: That's gotta hurt.
Frigga walked over to the fountain and unceremoniously dumped
John in it, then shrank down to normal size. She glared at John,
who was sitting in the middle of the fountain. "Thank your gods
that you're a friend of Skuld's, or I would smite thee so fiercely
that your grandchildren would be reeling! Remember this,
_mortal_, and show some proper respect next time!"
L: You mean he would still be capable of having children?
John climbed out of the fountain, grimacing. Damn, these Norse
Gods just couldn't take a joke. He tried to squeeze the water out
of his trousers as Frigga glared at him.
W: John's right ... heh, he should talk to Loki, the Norse trickster god.
L: I thought Loki was the evil deity ...
S: The Norse pantheon didn't have much of a sense of humor.
W: Hmmmm ... the Mask in the movie/cartoon _The Mask_ held Loki's spirit,
didn't it?
S: Yeah, I think so. Not to be confused with the original mask in the Dark
Horse comic book ... I liked the movie better, but not the cartoon.
"So, where is the little sprog?" John asked, as he rubbed his
face and winced. Good slapper, that Frigga. Got really frigged
by Frigga. Yessir.
W: Be glad she didn't hear you think that.
At this point, Laga stepped into the conversation. "She went off
to the domain of the Archangels, to confront them."
Both Frigga and John were surprised. "She WHAT?" they both
yelled.
"They had taken Urd prisoner on the charge that she schemed with
the hellspawn Mara to overthrow Heaven. I tried to tell Skuld
not to go but she wouldn't wait! Those Archangels are out of
control, I tell you. Someone must protest to the Lord of Hosts
about this!"
John paced around angrily. Damn damn damn... He desperately
needed a cigarette at this moment, and fished around his pockets
with frustration.
So. A confrontation with the Archangels, eh? It was something
he wanted to avoid, but seemed inevitable now.
He smiled as he fished out one somewhat bent, but still dry
cigarette out of a trenchcoat pocket.
"Must be a sign of good luck." He nudged Banpei with his foot.
"Oi, you know where the Archangels hang about?"
The robot nodded and promptly transformed into a go-cart once
more.
"YOU are going to rescue her from the Archangels?" asked Frigga in
disbelief.
"Well, luv, someone's gotta do it." He sat in the Banpei-cart
once more. "Onward, shorty."
As the go-cart prepared to leave, John looked back at Frigga.
He couldn't resist it...
"Hey, luv... just wondering... is it true that Thor was a
flasher?"
John smirked as the goddess began cursing in a most unelegant
manner.
W: Under the circumstances, I don't blame her.
L: How come we waited so long to say anything else?
S: Catching our breath, I guess ... plus there wasn't much that needed
comment on.
-*-
Urd sighed. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately. "Welcome
to the interview, Skuld."
S: I thought Urd was one of the guests, not the hostess.
Seated in a chair similar to Urd's, also surrounded by a cylinder
of light, Skuld sulked.
W: Hmmm ... interesting possible wordplay there: 'Skuld sulkd' would use
the same five letters twice.
S: We're here to correct spelling ... among other things.
"Hey, kid."
"Yeah, what?"
"Thanks for trying, sis."
Despite being held prisoner, stuck in this room in front of a
pack of paranoid Archangels, it was a fairly warm and fuzzy
moment.
L+W: Awwwwwww .... *_*
Skuld kept on sulking, although this time with a bit of sadness
tainting it. She needed a hug.
"Well, that was touching," said Raguel flatly. "Now, let us
continue with-"
W: The Inquisition?
S: <winces> Ow.
L: What's wrong?
S: Religious persecution ...
Then there was a *scritch* sound.
Startled, everyone turned towards the sound. The Archangels held
their breath. Urd gasped. Skuld stared, wide-eyed.
A lone figure emerged from the shadows of the doorway.
A match, aflame, slowly lifted up to a cigarette. There was a
puff, then a smile.
A British-accented voice spoke arrogantly. "Well... what have we
here?"
The Archangels felt a chill run down their spines.
John Constantine had arrived.
W: <cues dramatic final battle music> The Hellblazer is in the house.
L: Popcorn, anyone? ^_^
Skuld jumped off her chair. "John!"
John nodded at Skuld, and then turned to look at the circle of
Archangels.
S: Full circle, or semicircle?
W: Who cares? They've got him surrounded.
L: No they don't - he just walked in the door, remember?
No one dared to breathe... except Raguel. He raised a hand and a
sword of fire formed within it.
S: Beam sword technique, hm?
W: It's actually a surprisingly common power. Ryouko, Tenchi, Kagato, the
Iczers and Iczelions, Kisaragi Ayaka ...
S: Not to mention a few others we don't know about ... but Ayaka and
Tenchi need special items to use their beam swords.
W: OAV Tenchi can summon the Light Hawk Wings for a sword, remember?
L: You forgot about the Sword of Light!
W: Like I said, it's a common power in anime.
S: And all thanks to Star Wars ... Lightsabers were the inspiration for
beam swords.
W: Really?
S: Yep. Japanese sci-fi before Star Wars was pretty traditional, but Star
Wars was a big hit.
"Constantine... how dare you show yourself HERE."
W: Yeah, pull your pants back up, fella.
He strode angrily forward until nose to nose with the mortal.
S: 'He angrily strode forward' ...
"You will leave Heaven and never come back or else..."
L: Might want a comma before 'or else.'
The threat only seemed to amuse John.
"Now, now, squire, you don't think I'd dare show up here without
something nasty to spring on you boys, do you?"
A flicker of worry crossed Raguel's face.
"You're bluffing."
John blew smoke in the Archangel's face. "Try me."
He walked around Raguel and towards the two Goddesses, the
Archangels getting out of his way.
Out of his overcoat, John pulled an ancient stone knife, ebony
as night, and tapped on the cylinder that imprisoned Skuld. With
no fanfare and a slight -whoosh- the cylinder disappeared.
"Hullo, darlin'. Miss me?"
"John!" The little Goddess hugged John tightly.
"C'mon, let's get your sister outta here too." He tapped the
cylinder imprisoning Urd, with the same results.
John turned his attention to the Archangels once more. "Now...
the lady and the kid are with me, and we're walking out of here.
Right?" He paused to look each Archangel in the eye. "Right.
C'mon, kid."
John walked past them, the sisters close behind, Skuld picking up
her mallet from where it had been left leaning against a wall. As
they walked through the doorway, Skuld paused and turned around.
"Hey! Up yours! Nyaaaah!"
W: She's been hanging around with mortals too long.
S: And it ought to be 'Biiiiiih!' not 'Nyaaaah!'
L: Same principle, same feeling.
She blew them a raspberry and slammed the door shut.
All the Archangels stood still, terribly embarrassed at what just
happened... all except Raguel, who was trembling in rage.
And so he roared, and his voice bellowed through all the Heavens.
"CONSTANTINE WILL PAY FOR THIS!"
<all three>: Damaramu will regret this!
W: Will that be cash or charge?
-*-
The trio strode quickly and anxiously away from the lair of the
Archangels, very much relieved to be out of there.
"Is there a faster way to get out of here?" asked John, looking
at the parked Banpei cart with distaste. "I got a feeling we
_really_ shouldn't hang about."
Skuld scampered up to Banpei. "Hot water." The cart responded
by handing Skuld a small cup of steaming water.
"Oh," said John, "this again."
A second later, Urd, Skuld, a robotic Banpei, and John
emerged from one of the many fountains of Asgard.
"MUST you use water to travel every time, Skuld?" asked John.
Skuld nodded.
John shrugged. "Well, if that's the way it is."
Urd looked at Skuld. "By the way, brat, what was it you said
back there?"
"Hm?"
"What you said, to the Archangels?"
Skuld smiled. "Oh, that. 'Up yours!'"
Urd stared at Skuld. Then she looked up at John. She grabbed
him by one hand on the now very rumpled collar of his shirt and
jerked his face right up to hers.
"What have you been teaching my sister?" she hissed.
"Oi! Mind the shirt!" sniped John. "I didn't teach the girl any
language like that!"
W: Lots of mortals use that kind of language.
S: Unfortunately.
L: Better than some things she could've said.
Not taking her eyes away from John's, Urd said, "Skuld, take a
walk for a second. Me and Constantine have to have a talk."
"No!"
Urd fixed Skuld a 'how dare you' sort of look. "What?!"
W: Here, Skuld, have a nice 'how dare you' sort of look.
S: Ought to be 'fixed Skuld with a' ...
"I'm supposed to stick by John's side until everything's fixed
and we're almost done!"
A fourth party cut into the conversation unexpectedly. "I hate
to admit it, Urd, but I'm inclined to agree with the child."
Urd turned her scowl towards the new entry in the debate. "Stay
out of this, Peorth."
W: If this is a debate, where's the moderator?
"Now now, Urd, have a little patience," said Peorth with a smile.
She lazily strolled towards them and seated herself at the edge
of the fountain. "This is bigger than me or you."
S: 'than you or me.'
"I don't like vague answers, Peorth."
"Could you please let go of my shirt?" asked John.
Urd shook him briefly but harshly. "Shut up and stay quiet.
Peorth, what are you talking about?"
Peorth eyed John for a moment, appearing as if she were chosing
her next words carefully. "What can I say, Urd? A _Stranger_
from on high said so."
The meaning of Peorth's hint wasn't lost on them. Urd's expression
went from anger to surprise, while John's turned to bitter
annoyance.
In Urd's mind, the Stranger was someone to be taken seriously.
Few knew what the Phantom Stranger really was, and she was one
of the many that didn't. What everyone did know was that when
the Phantom Stranger gave advice, it usually was best to take it.
W: I bet the Phantom Stranger is one of The Almighty's disguises.
S: We won't find out, though.
In John's mind, this was more evidence that the Phantom Stranger
was a total wanker. Where was he now? John wanted to know. If
the Stranger knew so bloody much why didn't he get his own hands
dirty? Nooo, couldn't do that. Hafta remain all mysterious.
What to do then? Send ol' Constantine to do the job. The
bastard.
L: More evidence for Wasyuu's hunch.
Peorth looked at them. "Now, I believe, you were about to find a
place to hide? We could return to my apartment and..." she looked
sultrily at Constantine, "_talk_."
Skuld glared at Peorth and was about to retort, when Urd put a
calming hand on her shoulder. "Shh, Skuld... not now. Like it
or not, we'll need to hide. The Archangels are probably turning
the Heavens inside out looking for us."
"But back into Silver City?" Skuld frowned.
Peorth smiled. "We'll slip past their patrol. After all, they've
already searched the district I live. And they won't find us.
Follow me." She walked off, and John, bemused, paced behind her.
Skuld and Urd looked at each other, and sighed before they followed.
-*-
Peorth's domicile was a place one could say definitely belonged
to a woman. Soft colors dominated the room, with roses and
roselike furniture everywhere.
"Nice place," said John. "Got any cigarettes? I'm out."
"Now now, Johnny," said Peorth, "I don't need to tell you what a
bad habit that is."
"Hey, Constantine," said Urd, "what was that knife you used
earlier?"
"What, this?" He pulled out the knife once more, waving it
lazily before putting it back in his pocket. "That knife
belonged to an ancestor of mine, James Constantine. He used to
mess with angels a quite a bit. Can't confirm what it is,
really, but rumor has it this knife was used in the first murder
of mankind."
Outside, there was a bellow of rage. Peering out a window, Skuld
saw angels in the sky, each with a fiery sword, and one burning
brighter than all the rest.
"Cooooooonstaaaaaaantiiiiiiiine!"
Skuld turned away from the window and took a seat next to John,
much to Urd's dismay. "You've really got Raguel bloody pissed
off, John."
Immediately, Urd shot John a venomous look, while Peorth raised
an eyebrow.
John looked up nervously, then gave Skuld a gentle bap. "Good
little Goddesses shouldn't talk like that, kid."
"But you talk like that all the time!" protested Skuld. Urd's
glare intensified a bit, while Peorth was about ready to laugh.
W: He's not a little Goddess, either.
L: And he's not exactly good.
"Well yes I do, luv, but I'm the mortal here, not you."
S: Their point <indicates Wasyuu and Lina> exactly.
Skuld oh'ed. "But you really made Raguel angry." She paused
a bit. "Were you really bluffing back there?"
John raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Good magicians don't reveal
their tricks."
The sound of Raguel bellowing John's name once more caused them
all to look out the window for a moment. Peorth wisely waved
a hand, causing the window to close and turn opaque.
"Raguel... he who executes the Vengeance of the Lord, right?"
asked John.
"Yeah, that's him. The one whose face you blew smoke in," replied
Urd, with a frown.
John pretended not to notice the frown. "Y'know... I always
wondered. Were the Archangels always such bloody uptight
bastards?"
Urd sighed. "Ever since the fall of Lucifer Morningstar, the
Archangels have been driven. They were horrified that one among
them would dare lead a rebellion against the Lord, and were more
horrified at what Lucifer became after his fall."
Peorth nodded, and continued the narrative. "You see, John,
they're the first children of the Lord. They have a certain
pride in being so, and one of the things they fear the most is a
fall from grace. Thus, they seek to stay righteous by being
ever-vigilant, even if it does mean behaving like stormtroopers
at times. In their eyes, they carry out their Father's will,
and none have told them otherwise."
Urd continued. "They've strived for perfection. They had
thought they achieved it... at least until the fall of Gabriel."
She gave John a nasty look.
Skuld was clearly puzzled. "Gabriel?"
John looked uncomfortable. Shite, he really didn't want to
disillusion a little girl...
The fall of Gabriel was just one of those unfortunate things,
really. Gabriel was, during his tenure on earth, quite a remarkable
snob. He was also hanging about with the wrong crowd, as one of
his frequent associates was, unknown to him, the head of a Nazi
terrorist group. Not liking where Gabriel was headed (and not
liking Gabriel, as John bitterly despised snobs), John set a trap
for the Archangel, using a disguised Ellie as bait. Gabriel
succumbed to temptation, willingly sinned, and thus fell from grace.
But if John hadn't done that...
Peorth shot a look at Urd, as she said, "Gabriel's fall showed the
Archangels that even they were not beyond the earthly realms. And
ever since, they've been edgy."
Skuld exclaimed, "They've been acting like jerks!"
"But Gabriel..." Urd began.
Peorth cut in. "Gabriel fell because he put himself in that position.
To designate blame on a mortal is to disavow the steps Gabriel himself
took."
Urd, fortunately, did not pursue the Gabriel matter further.
John gave a mental sigh of relief, then thought of something.
"S'cuse me, but can someone explain to me exactly what the Yggdrasil
does? From what little lore I can recall, it's the 'World Tree'
or something, innit?"
Urd gave John a _very_ suspicious look. Peorth looked startled,
then chuckled. She shared a look with the other goddesses, then
sighed.
"Very well, John. When God created everything, He found He could not
run it all by Himself. Otherwise His vision would be spent
overviewing every little thing in the universe. And so He created
the Angels. When He created Man, He found that He could barely
keep up with all the demands, once Paradise was lost. The Angels
could not keep up with the rapidly changing Earth that Mankind
created. Gods and Goddesses were born as mankind grew. In order
to keep up with the large demands that Mankind put on Earth,
He created the Yggdrasil. And He left it alone to see how it runs.
But the system is too black-and-white, too literal, too absolute. To
fix it, however, the Creator would have to scrap everything."
She cast a look at the goddesses. Both Urd and Skuld nodded.
"But He did not want to. Instead, the Norn sisters were designated
to care for the Yggdrasil, to remove the bugs that plagued it, and to
keep it running."
"Hold on, luv, why wouldn't He just shut it down and make a new one?"
John asked.
"Because to do so is to start Earth anew, John Constantine," Urd said.
"Oh. Shite."
John looked at Urd. "Who's taking care of the Yggdrasil while
you're on Earth?"
Urd looked embarrassed. "We still are. But someone is supposed to
inform us whenever there is trouble."
"Ahh." John pondered a minute, then said, "So basically, a computer
that watches over humanity-"
Skuld cut in. "It does other things, too!"
W: If you have a system that powerful, might's well use it.
S: I wouldn't try changing the operating system though ... if the OS is
stable, and it does what it needs to, then don't change it.
L: So it's a fair bet that it doesn't run Windows 95. n.n
S: Hey, *I* use Win95 ...
W: Is it stable, and does it do what you need it to do?
S: Most of the time, to both.
W: Be glad your computer ain't Yggdrasil.
"- is runnin' without supervision?"
Urd nodded. "It basically runs itself. But if it breaks, we'd know."
John rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "What if someone uses it improperly?
Would you know?"
Skuld blinked. Urd blinked. Peorth chuckled, as she replied,
"Probably not, unless he or she crashed the system."
John paused. He thought for a minute. If the Yggdrasil basically
could run itself...
"What's the odds of the Yggdrasil becoming self-aware?" asked John.
W: Probably pretty good, depending on how rigid the programming is.
Peorth shrugged, then looked to the two sisters.
"Well... we never really thought about all the possibilities," admitted
Urd. "We were sort of... busy on Earth."
"It shouldn't be possible," said Skuld. "You don't think..."
John grinned. Now for the final piece...
"Well, ladies, let's get to the Yggdrasil. We just may find our
answers there, eh?"
The goddesses all nodded in unison.
-*-
Outside, Urd and Skuld looked past a corner, trying to watch out
for the Archangels and Angels that would surely be looking for
them. Then they motioned for John and Peorth to follow.
Furtively, they darted, slowly making their way towards the
Yggdrasil.
At one stop, John managed to whisper to Peorth while Urd and Skuld
were on lookout.
"By the way, why did you cover up for me back there?"
Peorth smiled sweetly at him. "My dear John, this little adventure
has been so much fun. It'd be a pity to see it end so soon."
"That can't be it... why would you involve yourself in this?"
Peorth gave John a bemused smile. "Because you mortals are SO much
more interesting. Good and Evil, all mixed up in one earthly form.
So much potential for good, so much potential for evil." She
patted John on the cheek. "Especially you, John Constantine."
And then she giggled. "And I want to see the look on God's face
when he sees you here, Johnny."
John blinked. Somehow, that prospect was... daunting.
L: I like Peorth. n.n
S: Can't wait to see if she shows up in the TV series. :)
W: Let's hope AIC does a better job on the AMG TV series than they did
with Shin Tenchi Muyou!
-*-
Back at the temple...
Keiichi sat by Belldandy's bedside, his concern rising. Urd was
gone. Skuld was gone. Belldandy was still unconscious.
W: Is that all that was rising?
S: Is your mind always this dirty, Wasyuu, or did you just forget to wash
it?
L: You really need to get some other MSTing partners, Shachi.
S: <clears his throat> In any case, we know that Keiichi's not that ecchi.
He whispered her name, as if it was a prayer, then stroked her
face gently. He hated to admit it, but there was nothing he
could do. And he was so tired...
Keiichi fell asleep at Belldandy's side, head on the sheets, still
kneeling, in a deep slumber.
W: That can't be a comfortable position.
A short time later, a blinding beam of light descended through the
ceiling, going right to the mark on Belldandy's head. Her eyes flew
open, ablaze with azure light and she slowly began to rise,
levitating from the bed.
The light began to fade, and as it did, Belldandy lowered once
more to the bed. With a great effort she stood up and took a few
deep breaths. After a moment to focus herself, Belldandy looked
at the still-sleeping Keiichi.
She sighed wistfully, and smiled, then stroked his cheek. Then she
leaned over to kiss him lightly on the cheek, before she stood
up. She nearly stumbled. Merciful Goddesses, she was still weak...
but she had to fight.
For Keiichi.
Belldandy stumbled over to the mirror kept in her room, and vanished
in a flash of luminous light.
W: 'Luminous light' is redundant.
S: Try another adjective.
-*-
They stood before two massive doors at the end of a long, dimly
lit, very ethereal corridor. The feeling of power emanating from
behind those doors was tangible.
L: You may want to indicate who 'they' are here?
"So... this is the Yggdrasil, is it?" asked John, stepping
forward ahead of everyone else. Peorth and Skuld followed.
"Yes, we're here," said Urd, keeping a wary eye on the mortal.
This, thought John, was the tricky part. What was waiting for
them behind those doors was unknown. It'd either fold like a
cheap suit or blast him to hell. The goddesses would either be
insurance against an early demise or a hinderance to his scheme.
Tricky stuff.
John took a deep breath and reached forward, grabbing the
handles and swinging the massive doors open.
What greeted them was a dark, cold, circular chamber lit only by
the lights on many control panels lined along the walls. Things
scurried into the shadows as John strode into the room.
S: There's actually a brief look at what I presume is the Yggdrasil
chamber in the beginning sequence of the third AMG OAV - before the title
sequence, even. It's not that dark.
And in the corner, shuddering, on the floor, his face covered by
his hands, wings quivering as he cried, was an angel, surrounded
by... were those eight-legged rabbits?
This, John didn't expect.
"Bloody Hell..."
Behind him, Urd peered into the darkness. "Hey, what the heck?!"
Skuld cried, "Oh no...!"
John cursed silently as the goddesses pushed their way into the
room, forcing him to step forward, totally ruining any chance of
making a decent entrance. There was no way he'd manage to get alone
with the angel now.
W: Whoa ... John wants to do It with an angel whose gender he doesn't even
know?
L: Wasyuu ...
W: Hai?
L: Spare us.
"Bugs!" finished Skuld as she pulled out her mallet and swung at
a nearby eight-legged rabbit bouncing around the room. It hopped
out of the way, and jumped around merrily, leading Skuld on a mad
chase.
John blinked. Those things were BUGS? Now Heaven was starting to
look more and more like a nuthouse. No wonder the Archangels had
poker rods up their arses. Oh well, he'd just have to make the best
of it.
Urd, along with John, strode immediately to the angel. John
looked passive while Urd looked furious.
She towered over the cowering angel, anger burning in her eyes.
"So... unleashing bugs on the Yggdrasil, eh? Trying to take over
Heaven, huh? Scheming with Mara, hm? HOW DARE YOU, YOU
HYPOCRITICAL BASTARD!"
L: Refresh my memory ... was this the guy who arrested Urd last part?
S: Maybe.
The angel winced with each word Urd yelled and continued to sob.
At the sight of the angel, Peorth's eyes flew open in surprise.
Skuld paused from her chase to see who was making those pathetic
noises. She gasped in shock. "Raphael?"
This gave John a reason to raise an eyebrow. Not just an angel,
an Archangel. Well now, this was definitely unexpected. A rogue
deity he was expecting. The possibility of the Yggdrasil
becoming self-aware was a suspicion. But one of THEM behind all
this?
W: Sounds like it's the same guy.
Surprise, surprise.
"S'cuse me, ladies, mind if I had a word with Raphael for a bit?"
Raphael gave a loud wail and backed away. Urd glared at John,
then looked at the pathetic wretch. She looked at Peorth, who
nodded gravely.
Urd tapped Skuld on the shoulder. "C'mon, let's see what that
idiot messed up." Skuld, still looking at the Archangel in
shock, nodded and followed her sister.
"Hey, what's this?" Skuld looked curiously at several wires that
were extended oddly and met in an odd ring of circutry and other
Yggdrasil material.
W: Materiel, not material. At least in this case.
Urd came over and looked the device over. "Oh... no wonder
Raphael's a wreck. He tried to do it all, all our duties, all at
the same time, and control as much extra as he could. If he
wasn't an Archangel, he'd be the mental equivalent of a turnip by
now."
"But why did he do this? Why didn't he just call us?" asked
Skuld, as she suddenly spun around, and slammed her mallet down on
a bug. The bug screamed, and faded away, as Skuld put her mallet
away and began to examine the system. She waved her hand, and a
mini-Skuld popped up on her hand, which waved, and bounced into
the core of the Yggdrasil.
"I dunno, kid," replied Urd, "but I figure we'll find out once
Constantine's through with him."
-*-
John sauntered over to Raphael, inwardly grinning. It made sense
now. Raphael, the Archangel set over humanity. With the
caretakers of the Yggdrasil gone, it seemed, he would think
himself the proper caretaker of the Ultimate Computer.
He took a seat on the floor next to Raphael and digged for a
cigarette. Then he remembered he didn't have any more.
S: 'dug for a cigarette'
Drat. Oh well...
It seemed to have gotten a tad warm suddenly. That didn't seem
to be right. John frowned, looked around, then dismissed that
feeling as just more paranoia as he removed his overcoat and laid
it down on a panel surface of the Yggdrasil.
"Well now, Raphael, what nasty business were you up to here, hm?"
Raphael sniffled a bit, then tried to sit upright and proper.
John handed him a handkerchief, and the archangel proceeded to
wipe off the tears.
"I tried... I really tried to make it better, you know," said
Raphael. "It wasn't right, what was happening below. But the
more I tried, the more these..." he indicated the bugs, "_THINGS_
popped up. And everything got worse and worse." He grabbed John
firmly by the now extremely rumpled collar of his shirt. "Do you
people realize what you're doing to each other?!?!"
"Mind the shirt, mate, please."
L: John Constantine, the best-dressed thorn in Heaven's side there is.
W: At least, he used to be.
"Our Father gave you life! He gave you an entire PLANET! And
what do you do? You ruin EVERYTHING and find NEW and TERRIBLE
ways to crush each other's souls to Hell! You wage wars over
silly little trivia like land that hasn't been holy for THOUSANDS
of years and CHEAPER GAS! You turn away as children starve to
death! You walk away from those far less fortunate than you,
asking for just a little help! You swindle and preach and kill
in the name of a God you've never met! You rape your sons and
daughters! You butcher your fathers and mothers! You take the
gift of life and turn it into a curse!"
W: Sounds like this guy has some serious issues.
S: Maybe, but ... he's right.
John felt he was being preached to. He really hated it when that
happened. He really wished he had a cigarette. "Are you
finished yet?"
"No! You idiots, you over-evolved apes! I tried to make it
better! I did! But every time I gave you people a boon, you
turned around and made it a damnation!" He looked upwards, tears
streaming from his eyes. "Lord, what fools these mortals be!"
If he weren't an Archangel, and if John weren't stuck in the
middle of Heaven, he would have punched Raphael at this point.
Instead, he did some shirt collar grabbing of his own. Well,
he at least grabbed Raphael by the shoulders, since there wasn't
any collar to hold. "Yeah? You're in deep now, sunshine. You
messed about with the Yggdrasil and you KNOW that you shouldn't
mess about with it. You think your brothers are gonna take this
kindly? Cos I think they'll kick your arse downstairs faster than
they tossed out Lucifer!"
The Archangel sighed. "I... no." He calmed down, took a deep
breath, then stood tall and proud once more. "I am an Archangel.
Mine is to carry out the will of our Lord and that is what I have
done and will continue to do. My brothers will surely agree
with what I've done." His head bowed.
John frowned. "You really think so, don't you? You don't
understand. It's over. You've caused too much of a mess for
your brothers to forgive and it's clear you couldn't handle it to
begin with. Face it, you're done."
Raphael nodded.
Peorth frowned. "What I don't understand is, why didn't you ask
for help? If you were having troubles..."
Raphael looked up. "I did. I called for help a short while ago."
Suddenly, a nearby curved, reflective panel shone with an inner
light. Raphael smiled an arrogant smile.
"And she has come."
A female figure stepped out of the light.
Brown hair trailed after her as the goddess entered the room.
She halted, and spoke in a quiet, but determined voice.
"John Constantine. I cannot allow you to interfere. To let you
meddle with the Yggdrasil means that all contracts will then end...
and I cannot, will not, forgive anyone who stands between my
Keiichi and I!"
Belldandy had arrived.
W: Good thing I saved this. <cues better final battle music>
-*-
"Belldandy!" Skuld exclaimed. She ran towards her, and hugged her
tightly. Belldandy returned the hug, but kept her eyes on John.
"Skuld. Step out of the way," Belldandy whispered, as she took
in the scene. This mortal, this John Constantine, appeared to have
placed Raphael in a bad position and somehow tricked her sisters
into helping him. He could not be allowed to proceed any further.
L: "Appeared" is really the key word there.
Urd stepped in Belldandy's way. "Belldandy, what's going on?
What are you talking about?"
"He'll take Keiichi away from me if we don't stop him," said
Belldandy firmly.
"Belldandy, I know I haven't given you much reason to trust me in
the past," said Peorth, "but trust me. Raphael's in the wrong
here."
Urd nodded. "Please, Belldandy, she's right."
Belldandy frowned. Maybe her sisters were right... but if Raphael
was right, and the mortal John Constantine were to meddle with
the Yggdrasil, then... her contract with Keiichi could be voided.
And she could not...
God, what was she to do? Believe Raphael, or her sisters?
John approached her. "Look, luv, I know you don't know me, but..."
And then suddenly and unexpectedly, all Hell broke loose.
W: When all hell breaks loose in *Heaven* ...
S: Start worrying.
L: Lots.
-*-
With Belldandy arriving and demanding that Constantine be
stopped, everyone's attention was drawn away from the little
corner of the room that John had put his trenchcoat down in. It
suddenly stood upright, gaining a life of its own. A moment
later, the form of Mara, the demoness, appeared within it.
W: You know, John really needs to get his trenchcoat cleaned.
Her arrival was sensed by the divinities in the room immediately.
L: I'm not surprised.
"You!" yelled Urd. Skuld reached for her backpack, intending to
toss a few horseshoes at her. Everyone else was utterly
surprised.
S: Looks like they were, though.
She would have gloated, had she the time. Instead, Mara pulled
out a disc and slammed it into a nearby slot before anyone could
stop her. A second later, she was slammed against the wall, Urd
keeping a grip on her neck.
W: Was it Mara, Urd, or Skuld that didn't have the time to gloat?
S: Chain of events needs a bit of work in this paragraph. (Obviously Urd
acts last in that round, but did Mara pull the disk out before or after
someone would have gloated?)
"What have you done?!" yelled Urd. "Skuld! Get that disc out!"
"I can't! It's stuck!" replied Skuld frantically, now fumbling
around with the slot.
L: So much for the horseshoes, huh?
"Sorry about this, Urd," mumbled Mara. "I had no choice."
S: That's right, Urd and Mara are half-sisters ... That's probably the
only reason Mara is anything approaching apologetic to Urd about this.
All of the bugs that had been running around the Yggdrasil
suddenly vanished. The lights in the room died entirely, leaving
everyone in the dark. There was a spark, a hiss, then the
ominous smell of brimstone. Then the lights came roaring back
on, this time in shades of blood red. A dark figure stood in
front of the Yggdrasil, his back to them.
The goddesses gasped. Raphael turned pale. Mara tore free from
Urd's grip and vanished, as the figure turned towards them.
The First of the Fallen grinned maliciously.
"Well... hello. Surprised to see me?"
W: Yeah, a little.
L: <starts chanting> Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond flowing
blood ...
S: <cuffs Lina on the back of the head> Hey, stop that!
L: Ow! <stops chanting, rubbing the back of her head> Why'd you stop me?
S: You're on the wrong side of the screen to help.
And the First of the Fallen threw his head back and laughed,
louder and louder until the laughter echoed back from the
polished walls with almost painful intensity.
What John said at that moment summed up the prevalent mood in the
room.
"Oh, shite."
-*-
The Archangel Raphael was the first to react. Summoning a
flaming sword, he charged for the First of the Fallen.
Urd, Peorth, and Belldandy began chanting.
Skuld gaped, completely at a loss.
The First raised an hand. A force shield formed, around the core
of the Yggdrasil, with the First of the Fallen inside.
Raphael's flaming sword clashed with the shield, sending sparks
of fire flying. The Goddesses' energy beams bounced off. The
First laughed even more, and then turned to face John
Constantine.
"I think we need some privacy, don't you?" said the First of the
Fallen gleefully.
For once in his life, John Constantine was frozen in fear.
"What? Nothing to say? I guess you agree then, hm?" The First
of the Fallen turned to face Raphael, who couldn't help but step
back in fear.
"Raphael... you always were a snivelling little brat." With a
wave of his hand, a blast of wind hit Raphael, reducing him to a
blur, then dissolving into nothing.
Skuld shrieked, "You killed him!"
"No, I just threw him out of the room," replied the First of the
Fallen, "just like what I'm about to do to you." He made another
sweep of his arm and the goddesses found themselves struck by the
same turbulent force that struck Raphael. For a moment, the
four goddesses were reduced to screaming blurs, then vanished.
He gestured once more, an idle flick of the wrist, and the doors
of the Yggdrasil slammed shut.
The First of the Fallen clapped his hands together, sighed a
happy content little sigh, then turned to a very nervous and
stunned John, crossed his arms and smiled. "Well now, John.
Looks like it's just you and me."
Finally gathering his wits, John managed to find his voice again.
"Oi. You didn't have to go to all this trouble for me."
"Oh, but I insist."
The First of the Fallen snapped his fingers.
S: We're going to skip most, if not all, of the torture scenes for the
MSTing ... partly because it is *very* uncomfortable reading. However, it
was *very* well written - from here on it was very emotional to read, and
I enjoyed it.
W: Getting on with the traditional Villainous Soliloquy, courtesy of the
First of the Fallen ...
A throne made of human remains formed from the floor as The First
of the Fallen lowered himself.
W: Onto what?
L: The throne ... but it'd be a good idea to specify that.
"Ah... now where to begin? It all started when a little demoness
named Mara had a sit-down one day and thought about the situation
she was currently tangled in. You see, she was currently the
arch-foe of a trio of goddesses, namely Urd, Belldandy, and
Skuld. By now, you realize WHAT those three goddesses are.
Mara, and for some unfathomable reason nobody else, realized what
that meant. Fate, such as it is, was being uncontrolled, since
the three were taking a holiday in Japan. All she needed to do
was get to the Yggdrasil and seize control. And how would she
get in? Well, that's what you're for. You are, after all, a
rider of synchronicity. Once you're a part of something, you see
it through to the end whether you like it or not. The moment
Mara gave you that first nudge, you were bound to come here, and
she'd be right behind you. It was a clever little plan indeed."
The First of the Fallen laughed long and hard. John twitched
uncontrollably. God, this was SOOOO cliched!
"And that," he said, leaning back comfortably, "is where I came
in. I overheard Mara's plan, you see, and was a bit impressed...
and I admit, a bit embarrassed I didn't see it myself. But Mara's
plan was so very disappointing in its scope. You see, she was
going to extract some revenge on the three sisters of Fate, make
a little noise, that sort of thing. She even had thoughts of
elevating her rank a bit and shaking up things a little in
Heaven."
L: Skipping another short paragraph of the early torture ... if you didn't
already read this, suffice to say that John's in an uncomfortable position
right now, but - for the moment - *mostly* intact.
W: No extra spoilers here, hm?
S: Nope. Oh, Rod and David ... don't worry, if something in the torture
needed commenting on, for grammar or spelling, we'll let you know when we
find it.
The Devil stood up once more and walked over to a panel, idly
pressing a few buttons. "Mmm, yes, a nice little plan, but it
had potential for so much more. So that's where I stepped in and
took over things. Instead of a little noise here and there and
some petty revenge... well... why not... bring Hell to Heaven?
Even now, my legions are amassing, storming the Gates of Heaven,
as the security systems falter and fail. Even as we speak,
Constantine, my virus is bending HIS system to MY will. In a
matter of minutes, it will be ME on the throne."
John fidgeted uncomfortably, but at least managed to stop
groaning in pain. It sounded grotesque, but he was beginning to
get used to the feel of nails through his palms and feet. He
was also trying to not roll his eyes at the First's soliloquy.
Why was it that every devil, demon, or angel felt the need
to share their oh-so-wonderful plans?
W: Okay, leave that one in. I like the way he thinks that about the
Traditional Villainous Soliloquy ...
L: Heck, even Shabranigdo stooped to that when we first met him.
S: Hey, without the villain bragging about his plans, how would we know
what was really going on all this time?
"Oh, you might be wondering how Mara managed to get in here,"
said the First of the Fallen. "Did you know that among her many
talents is the ability to possess non-living items? You know,
like rocks, compact discs, or even the inside lining of a shabby
and worn trenchcoat."
John groaned. Earlier small events made sense now, like the
constant feeling of being watched, and especially that gust of
wind that flapped his coat about right before he and Banpei drove
off to Heaven.
She was with him every step of the way.
W: She loves you, man.
L+S: ... to death.
"And once she was in, she tossed in a program that would break
down the barriers of Heaven just enough for me to break through.
I'll be checking on the progress of the virus now. Wouldn't do
if it weren't finished properly, now, would it?"
The First turned away to examine the Yggdrasil. John breathed a
sigh of relief. He was sure the Devil was going to start tearing
him apart piece by piece, and wanted to put that fate off as soon
as possible.
*John! John, are you okay?!*
Constantine blinked. Despite being in pain, he was lucid enough
to know a telepathic link when he felt one.
*It's me, Skuld!* She sounded frantic. He idly wondered if
she'd ever seen anyone nailed to a cross before.
W: Well, if you account for resurrections ... was she anywhere near
Jerusalem that day?
S: Or Rome - Peter's fate is probably closer to John's current position.
L: Er, we're giving away more of what's happening to John ...
S: Don't worry. When it gets gory, we'll stop paying so much attention.
John slowly looked around... and spied a mini-Skuld. He blinked.
*I'm okay. Now get outta here, kid, y'can't handle him!*
*Hold on, please? Distract him, keep him talking, but we need
time to fix the Yggdrasil! I'll be back!*
*I know you will, kid.*
S: Skipping past a slightly more graphic paragraph as Skuld looks at John
before the mini-Skuld returns to Yggdrasil.
*Go on,* thought John. *Get outta here. I beat'im before,
I'll do it again kid. You'll see. Now get outta here.*
*Please John, be careful.*
With a final wave, the mini-Skuld vanished.
John groaned, as fresh pain shot up his arms.
Alone... with the Devil.
-*-
Meanwhile, in a nearby room on some terminals, the three sisters
of Fate were typing on terminals at a frantic pace. Peorth stood at
the doorway, keeping an eye out for dangers.
"Good Lord, he's tearing down the barriers between Heaven and
Hell," said Urd.
"I can't get in, he's locked me out!" cried Belldandy in alarm.
"Same here," said Urd. "Skuld?"
"I can't get in either!" shouted Skuld. "What are we going to do? We've
got to do something!" She shuddered. "And John's in terrible danger!"
"These stupid terminals! We need something unattached to the network,
that could still affect..." Urd muttered.
Skuld blinked. "Wait! My computer down there... it's still hooked to
the Yggdrasil! It's got an independent CPU so maybe I can get time to
send some anti-virus programs!"
Urd smiled. "Perfect. Now we need to get to Earth. Time to get
help to distract the demons so that we can get down there."
Urd started to chant a summoning spell, intending to bring forth
her angel to aid in the battle, when Peorth stopped her. "No!
Gorgeous Rose, World of Elegance, Holy Bell, and other angels...
they're busy trying to drive the Demons from Heaven! We cannot summon
our angels, not now!"
Urd frowned. "Then what?"
Peorth gave her a steely glare. "We fight ourselves." She looked at
Skuld. "Quick, get to your computer!"
Belldandy put a hand to Skuld's shoulder. "I will come with you."
Skuld nodded.
"All right, let's get moving!" Urd shouted, as she flew down the
corridor. Peorth followed quickly.
Belldandy looked at Skuld, and nodded quiet encouragement.
Skuld gulped.
This was going to be very very hard.
W: Four goddesses against all the forces of Hell?
S: Hardly *all*, Wasyuu.
L: Just the ones that really count.
-*-
S: Okay. Back in the Yggdrasil chamber ...
Well, he thought frantically, what've I got left? Harsh
language?
Aw, sod it. Why not?
W: <snickers>
L: <chuckles>
S: <grins> John doesn't give up easily.
"You're in no position to talk."
W: Bad pun, coming from the First of the Fallen.
"I've been in position to fuck you over a couple of times, you
bloody piece of shite."
S: Ow. That *is* harsh language ... but as the First said, Constantine's
in no position to do that either.
The First of the Fallen narrowed his eyes. He would take only so
much verbal abuse. "You know, Constantine, you do have a point.
You have this annoying knack for pulling something out from your
ass at the last minute when nobody's looking."
The devil cracked his knuckles. At the same time, his
fingernails extended to wicked proportions.
"I'm not going to take my eyes off you this time... and I've been
waiting for this for a long time."
Oh... oh shite. This, thought John, had better be worth it.
S: And this is the last scene before the reading got seriously
uncomfortable, at least in this area of the plot.
-*-
On the borders of Heaven, the forces of good and evil met. Fiery
swords and blades of ebony night clashed as angels, devils,
demons, and deities began to do battle.
"A bit early for Ragnarok, isn't it?" asked Thor as he malleted
several demons.
W: Try 'hammered.' Skuld's the one with the mallet; Mjollnir is a
*serious* hammer.
L: War hammer. *BIG* war hammer.
"Hey, you getting soft in your old age?" teased Njord, Norse god
of the wind, seas, and fire.
Not too far away, Raguel scowled. The Norse folk never did show
proper decorum, and now was no time for levity. With a ferocity
unmatched by any in Heaven, Raguel and his fiery sword cut
through the ranks of Hell that dared to cross the barrier between
the realms.
This, thought Raguel, was surely Constantine's fault!
W: You wish.
S: Actually, John did have his part in it ...
L: Totally unintended though.
W: True enough.
-*-
"Quick, onee-sama! Skuld exclaimed, as she emerged from a small mirror
in her room, dragging Belldandy after her.
W: To the Skuldcomputer!
Skuld smiled, confidence returning as she sat down at her computer.
Surely, she could...
She blinked, as a 8-legged bug suddenly manifested on top of her monitor.
It didn't seem like the regular bug. Its eyes glowed red, and it was...
foaming at the mouth?
S: Yikes! Rabid Bugs?
"AIEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
L: That sums up the best reaction right there ...
Belldandy was quick to react, firing a beam at the bug, which
disintegrated. She looked at Skuld. "Hurry! Whatever the virus in
the Yggdrasil is doing up there, these bugs are getting meaner!"
L: Okay, okay. Shrieking was the second best reaction. Killing it quickly
is the *best* reaction to something like that.
Rabid bugs. Skuld nodded. Time to get serious.
S: Hey, I didn't remember she said that. ^^;
She got down to serious typing.
-*-
S: Skipping another torture scene. Suffice it to say that John Constantine
is in pretty serious pain ...
L: Actually, if you read part 1, this is the 'real' version of what the
First was trying to do in the dream which was interrupted by the Phantom
Stranger.
W: Oh, if you're really curious ... the First is doing a full autopsy on
John, but it's kind of premature.
S: He's not dead yet.
W: Like I said, a premature autopsy.
-*-
Belldandy fired a beam at a hopping bug. It bounced out of the way,
and waggled its ears at her, red eyes glaring at her. Belldandy
frowned, as she picked up Skuld's mallet. She bapped the bug
delicately, and sighed as the bug crumbled to nonexistence. Then
she gasped in horror.
More bugs were starting to appear with alarcity in Skuld's room.
-*-
S: More torture.
W: John Constantine is *not* a happy camper right now.
L: But the First of the Fallen is. Yeesh ... he's meaner than Shabrangido.
S: Yes, but Shabranigdo is just the Dark Lord of the Mazoku - not the
ruler of Hell.
W: Just a couple of lines ...
In his shocked and dazed state, John marveled at how much of his
body wasn't there anymore.
Another part wondered why he wasn't dead yet.
L: <looks queasy> Did you have to show them even that much, Wasyuu?
S: I think it does an excellent job of summing up John's present physical
condition.
-*-
Peorth and Urd flew down the corridors, back towards the Yggdrasil.
Suddenly, they skidded to a stop. A large horde of demons faced
them.
Peorth looked at Urd, who nodded.
Together, they flew at the demons.
L: Battling against unspeakable odds without even admitting the
possibility of defeat? I like these two.
-*-
W: More torture. Whichever one of the authors did these torture sequences
- or both of you if that's how the chips fell - we really want to
congratulate you on your work.
S: This falls into the category of 'If the person(s) who wrote this could
come up with some completely original subject matter' - such as characters
and setting - 'they could get published commercially.' For that matter ...
the tie-in market is starting to do extremely well, and it may be drawing
close to time for anime tie-in novels and anthologies to hit the American
market.
L: However ... as Shachihoko here could tell you, if you're going to do
that then you need to get permission from the present copyright holders
*before* you try to make a profit.
S: More on that, by private e-mail, for anyone who's interested in the
process I was told to go through.
-*-
Skuld frantically typed. Gods, the virus was spreading rapidly,
changing and adapting to everything...
-*-
W: Still more torture.
S: Very well-written ... this is downright uncomfortable to read.
L: Ne, if these guys are going to try to get published ... shouldn't they
be able to write stuff that *is* comfortable to read?
S: <pauses> Well ... this sort of thing could be good in the right part
of the horror market.
-*-
Peorth put a hand to a demon's chest. Light gathered around her hand,
and then she sent it flying into a wall.
She smiled grimly, and then turned...
Another demon was upon her almost at once.
-*-
W: More torture.
-*-
Keiichi screamed as rabid bugs began crawling into his room,
their eyes glowing an eerie red. He never thought eight-legged
rabbits could possibly look so savage.
Belldandy heard him, and her heart turned cold.
"Keiichi!"
She dropped Skuld's mallet and concentrated...
A bright light filled the room.
-*-
S: Back to the torture chamber ... just to answer an earlier question that
we left in place.
"And in case you're wondering why you're not dead yet... well...
I have total control here. You will remain alive, quivering in
pieces, until sundown, and then in the morning, I will bring you
back alive, and I will torture you anew.
W: Snip it right at that point - we aren't even closing the quotation
marks.
L: <looking ill> I knew it had to be something like that.
-*-
Urd muttered briefly, a quick spell, and threw her arms out. A
bright energy ball enveloped several demons, and then contracted,
vanishing into nothingness. She breathed a sigh of relief
mingled with exhaustion.
"Behind you!" Peorth shouted.
Urd spun around...
W: Okay, the fight scenes are getting a little boring.
L: It's called 'mounting tension.'
-*-
"Physical torture is all well and nice," he said, "but it can
maim a soul only so far. To know true and complete torment is to
be crushed in spirit as well as flesh."
<snip>
"Now, let's review the...
aheh... best of John Constantine, shall we?"
L: The First of the Fallen is one *sick* puppy, isn't he?
-*-
Sweat trickled down Skuld's face. If she only could adapt the
anti-virus program to change as the virus changed...
And if her eyes wasn't still blinking from Belldandy's sweeping
the room clean of bugs.
Skuld wiped her forehead. Almost...
NO!
Damn, she needed Belldandy... but Belldandy was gone to rescue
that idiotic Keiichi.
She rubbed her eyes. Oh, pleasepleaseplease!
Then she slapped her head. Waiiiit. If she sent a worm after
the virus...
And Skuld resumed her work, typing franatically.
-*-
W: By now, the First is resorting to psychic torture ...
L: As though being shredded wasn't bad enough?
S: At least now it's potentially printable - by our standards.
W: We're still clipping it though ... again, except for stuff that needs
comment or correction.
S: If you missed reading this when it hit the FFML and are reading the MST
for some obscure reason ... wait for the revised version or RAAC.
-*-
Raguel smiled grimly. It looked like the end of all that is.
Demons were overwhelming the forces of Heaven.
But if Raguel survived this, he vowed, he would be the Avenging
Angel, the righteous vengeance of destruction.
The Wrath of God, revisited on Hell.
And on John Constantine.
W: One stubborn guy, Raguel is.
L: It's in his job description, I guess ... why does his name sound so
much like that pasta sauce?
S: Glad you have your appetite back, Lina.
L: So'm I ... where's the popcorn?
<Shachihoko and Wasyuu facefault>
-*-
S: Back to the Yggdrasil/torture chamber.
W: Without even stopping to look.
L: And returning to the battle lines ...
-*-
Peorth and Urd were surrounded by salivating demons and devils.
"We're in trouble," Urd muttered.
Peorth smiled grimly. "It was nice knowing you."
And then the demons converged on them.
L: That's gonna hurt.
-*-
S: Okay. We're leaving this passage in ... a brief conversation between
John and the First in the middle of the torture.
*Feeling a little... down?* asked the First of the Fallen.
*I...*
*You what? Hm?*
*I want to die... please...*
*Well, John. You'll get no such mercy from me. We're only
getting started.*
John's soul twisted and withered, the will to fight drained
entirely. Hopelessness and despair reigned over his soul.
John Constantine was damned.
*Remember, Constantine... that's only the briefest taste of what
you shall have.*
No. No. No.
*As much pleasure as this has been, I must remind you... you are
still alive. Your body lives. By my will.*
Oh God, no.
*God turned His back on you. There is no salvation. There is no
hope. There is only me. When you are granted, by my will, that
final death... you will be damned to Hell... forever.*
No.
And John's mind fled in horror.
*Leaving, John? Ah, we can't have that...*
S: Again, very good writing. I had a pretty good sense of what John would
be feeling right now ...
W: But then, you'd read through all of the pieces that we cut out.
L: That also helped cut back down on the message size.
-*-
'Pleasepleasepleaseplease hurry!' Skuld thought frantically, as
she watched the progress...
YESSSSS! GOT IT!
L: Ah, victory feels *so* nice ...
-*-
Suddenly, the Yggdrasil turned dark once more. The First of the
Fallen scowled, his eyes burning red in the darkness.
"What? No... impossible... what have they done?"
The lights turned back on, this time in an ethereal white. The
Devil roared in anger and slammed his fist into a control panel.
It bounced off, not even making a dent.
"NOOOO!"
The First of the Fallen suddenly was lifted in the air, rigid and
upright, roaring in anger as his body began burning bright azure.
He was soon reduced to an angry pulsing light, then vanished
entirely.
L: So long, big guy! Send us a postcard!
W: Good has won ...
Within the control panel, a mini-Skuld suddenly appeared in front
of the Yggdrasil, smiling happily.
"John! John! We did it! We..."
And then she saw what was left of him.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
W: ... at a rather steep price.
S: That's one way of describing it.
L: But then, the fanfic isn't over yet either.
-*-
Belldandy was hugging Keiichi close to her, in the hallway, when
there was a great shriek. They looked at each other, and ran into
Skuld's room.
S: Back to the MSTing ... the first sentence needs a bit of work. Perhaps
'Belldandy was in the hallway, hugging Keiichi close to her, when ...'
Inside, Skuld was kneeling on the floor, shrieking and sobbing.
Belldandy was immediately at her sister's side, cradling Skuld in
her arms.
"Skuld? It's all right... the bugs are gone."
"Onee-sama!" Skuld sobbed. She covered her mouth and struggled
with her stomach for control. Belldandy held her gently and
tried to soothe her, but had no success as Skuld broke down into
loud sobs, trembling, hands covering her face, and tears streaming
down.
Belldandy sighed. What could have caused this?
L: You *really* don't want to know. If Skuld almost threw up, I'm
surprised that Belldandy doesn't when she sees it - and is *there*
herself, not via chibi-avatar.
-*-
Urd and Peorth approached the doors to the Yggdrasil, worn,
tired, but triumphant.
"Well, that was close," said Urd, taking a moment to lean against
the wall.
Peorth did likewise, but with an uneven grin. "Fun, though,
wasn't it?"
"Heh, you're crazy. C'mon, let's see the mess that bastard left
behind."
Peorth frowned. "You don't suppose the First of the Fallen is still
in there, do you?"
"Mmm... no. I don't sense him, and he's just got too much power
to hide himself if he was this close to us. C'mon."
The two goddesses rose once more, entered the room, and froze in
their tracks.
The room was red, entirely red. Except it was no longer due to
the lighting. Constantine's blood stained every wall. Red
chunks of flesh were strewn everywhere, and the bones were strewn
across the room. The only thing that was recognizable was his
face.... or, rather, the half of it that was still intact.
Peorth gasped. Urd turned away and closed her eyes.
There was a long silence.
Finally, Urd spoke.
"May God have mercy on his soul."
Peorth stepped closer to the largest chunk, a mess of spine and
torn muscle drenched in blood.
It twitched.
Peorth's eyes widened in surprise. "May He, indeed. John's
still alive."
L: <goes pale, staring in shock> Oh ... my ... gods ...
W: ... damn.
S: Not a pretty sight.
L: I think the First *really* needs to get a Dragon Slave shot up his butt
or something.
S: Think that'd affect him?
L: ... I dunno.
-*-
No pain.
At last. No pain.
He remembered pain, a flicker of a nightmare from somewhere long
ago. A life. Someone else's life. Surely not his.
Not anymore.
Just peace.
Quiet.
Finally.
Free.
Forever.
S: *I* sure wouldn't want to go back to something like what the First was
doing to John ...
Peorth and Urd looked at each other. "Do you think we could...?"
Urd frowned. "I'm not sure. We never tried anything this... extreme
before."
Peorth sighed. "This is bad. Maybe if we gather all the parts up..."
"Yeah."
Urd slowly began the grisly work of gathering the bits of John
Constantine scattered about the floor. A moment later, she shot
an irritated glare at Peorth.
"Hey, I could use a little help here."
L: <clamps a hand over her mouth> 'Scuse me. <runs>
S: There's something to be said for text ...
W: No kidding. I'm curious as to whether the Hellblazer comic book ever
gets that gory ...
-*-
The two goddesses looked down at the reassembled body of John
Constantine.
Actually, that was an exaggeration.
It wasn't so much reassembled as it was piled into a stack.
Most of it, anyway. There were still countless bits and pieces
everywhere, and there was no way they could get his blood back in
his body.
Not without magic.
W: They're *goddesses,* they have magic.
S: Yeah, but they have to work through spells, not just force of will.
"Ever tried anything like this?" asked Urd.
"No, not really," replied Peorth. "This is definitely going to
be tough."
Urd nodded. "Oh, definitely. Come on, let's get started."
The two stood at opposite sides of the pile that once was John
Constantine, with their eyes closed and arms stretched outward.
In perfect synchronicity, they raised their arms up and looked to
the sky, chanting as one.
"Blood remembers bone,
The bonds of flesh hold firm,
Blood of Adam, Flesh of Eve,
Torn asunder by the Devil's hand,
Once again gather in human shape!"
Slowly, quiveringly, every part of John Constantine, whether solid
or fluid, drew close to the main body, and gathered in place.
Even the blood on the walls flowed and splashed and sploshed,
gathering at the center of John's body.
The goddesses looked at the result and frowned.
Instead of a pile of flesh, they now had a human jigsaw puzzle,
jagged bloody lines everywhere.
Urd sighed. Peorth shuddered.
John's ear fell off.
Peorth looked at Urd. "We're going to need a bigger healing
spell."
"We need Belldandy or Skuld." Urd seemed distracted for a
moment, then looked to the door. "My sisters should be
arriving... soon... uh-oh."
Peorth lifted an eyebrow. "Uh-oh?"
"If Skuld sees John like this..."
"Oh dear."
"A sheet, blanket, something!"
"Ah, here! Catch!"
Peorth tossed John's trenchcoat to Urd, who used it to cover his
remains just as the door opened...
W: You get a good idea of what kind of mess he was left in?
S: We got that already - when they first went in, right?
L: <returning> Why don't they get the Almighty to help?
S: Someone'd probably have to make a wish ...
W: Actually, remember Stefan Gagne's megacrossover tournament 'fic? The
Yggdrasil Successional? Kamisama doesn't use his power directly that
often.
S: Different author, different continuity. Very different.
L: Probably just as well. Kasumi would either faint, or start cleaning the
room.
Belldandy looked in quietly. At the sight of the covered body,
she gasped. Skuld entered the room, _very_ reluctantly, behind
Belldandy, clinging to her sister.
"Oh my," was all Belldandy could say. Urd shook her head, as she
watched Skuld.
Skuld was trembling, both in fear and in shock. Belldandy immediately
turned, and hugged Skuld.
Urd sighed. "Sis, I think we need your help here."
Belldandy frowned. Raphael had warned her that if the mortal
Constantine were allowed to access the Yggdrasil, there would
be dire consequences, but...
But she could not allow the mortal to die, could she?
Belldandy nodded, released Skuld, and walked to join her sister
and Peorth, forming a triangle around the remains of John
Constantine.
Skuld watched quietly, tears in her eyes, as the other
goddesses began to glow, their chanting rising in volume.
"Memory of flesh, blood and bone,
Return the unity of thy form,
Knit, merge, flow into one,
Return once more the form of man!"
Bones knitted, flesh healed and sealed. Peorth cautiously lifted
the trenchcoat, to examine the body, and then pulled it off. The
jigsaw puzzle of flesh once again looked like a man.
"Oh my," said Urd.
L: Is it just me, or are an awful lot of Heaven's residents saying that?
W: ... Maybe Kasumi's having an influence after all? We never *do* find
out who the current Kamisama is.
Belldandy blushed.
Skuld turned red.
Peorth blinked, then looked down. "Oops."
W: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! <ROFL>
L: <blushes>
S: <rolls his eyes>
She quickly put the trenchcoat back over the naked man.
"John?" Skuld took a tentative step forward and then ran over
and kneeled down next to the body. She touched John's face
tentatively. "John? Wake up, John." She shook him gently, then
frantically as John remained still. "John? John?! Please wake
up!" She turned to her sisters, panic in her eyes. "Why isn't
he waking up?!"
Urd put a hand on his forehead and closed her eyes,
concentrating. The mark on her forehead glowed briefly, then she
opened her eyes once more.
"He's... gone," she said.
Peorth stared at Urd, stunned. "He's dead?"
Urd shook her head. "No... he's alive but his soul isn't in the
body. It's more like he doesn't want to come back. The poor
guy, he was probably trying to escape any way he could when the
First of the Fallen was... well..."
S: Like I said ... I'd rather not have been there.
L: Be glad you weren't. <shudders>
There was an awkward, terrible moment of silence, as Skuld put
her head down and cried on John's chest. Urd gave the other
goddesses a helpless look.
W: <musing> Hisakawa Aya *does* cry well ... remember when Mano Yohko's
grandmother 'died' in the first Mamono Hunter Yohko OAV?
S: Yep. Skuld doesn't cry onscreen though ...
L: What about the ending animation for Burning Hearts on the Road, the
OAV episode she appears in?
S: No vocals for that except the ending theme song.
"Isn't there anything we can do?" asked Peorth.
"Well... someone's going to have to reach out to him. We can
still use the body to reach his soul, but we might have a hard
time convincing him to return..."
"I'll go." Belldandy said.
Peorth looked startled. "But..."
Belldandy sighed. "Even if he were to tear asunder the Heavens,
I can't just stand by and-"
"No."
Everyone blinked, as Skuld spoke again. She looked up from John's
body with a look of determination.
"I'll go."
L: Way to go, Skuld!
In darkness, he floated adrift, content with oblivion.
Then he felt it, a presence in the void.
Nervously, he tried to flee from it, fearing the pain would
return.
It called to him, a gentle voice. He hesitated a moment,
listening to the words.
*John, come back!*
John? Who was John? Was he John?
*John, it's me, Skuld!*
John. Yes. He was John.
S: Getting Named always helps bring someone back from oblivion ...
L: Named?
S: While MSTing, I remembered Madeleine L'Engle's _A Wind in the Door_ -
the Echthroi in that book could X, could unName someone - in effect, could
annihilate someone's essence, destroy that which made them what that
person was. Not just humans ... any being, from farandolae to stars. "Size
matters not." It was also possible for one to X oneself voluntarily - this
was deemed preferable to being Xed by the Echtroi.
W: And you'd have tried to X yourself?
S: Quite possibly.
L: Except that would make this a shorter fanfic.
S: There's that.
*It's time to come home, John, please?*
Home? With Fath-... No. No pain. Didn't want pain.
*John, please! Come back!*
Liked it here. No pain here.
*Come back! Please?*
Don't want to.
*No more pain.*
No more pain?
*No.*
He looked around in the dark void, not sure of what he was
searching for.
*Please, John! Come back!*
There was a light. Why didn't he see that before? Odd. Slowly,
he began to drift towards it. As he did, his cognitive senses
came back to him as well as his memories. The good times... with
his sister Cheryl and his niece Gemma... out with Chas at a game
of football... Christmas with the Lord of the Dance... sitting on
the beach drinking with Brendan, while another sunset fell over
Ireland...
And then the bad memories hit.
He stopped, staring suspiciously at the distant light.
*John?*
No... it was peaceful here. After so many years of pain and
regrets, he had found the peace he was always in search of.
*Please, John? We need you. Please?*
Aw bugger. Work's never done.
L: What an admirable sense of duuty. ^_^
*Let me take you home, please, John?*
Despite being a non-corporeal form, John managed to sigh. If he
was visible, though, one would see a bit of a smirk on his face.
He felt a warmth around him and knew it was Skuld, helping to
guide him back.
*Go to the light, eh? How very bloody typical. Heh.*
W: <laughs> Cynic.
"She's been gone quite a while," said Belldandy, as she watched
Skuld, whose forehead mark was glowing, kneel over John, eyes
closed in concentration.
S: This is clearly set, in the manga timeline, after Skuld 'comes of age'
and can begin using her magic directly.
"You think she's okay?" asked Urd.
Belldandy nodded. "I can't help but worry, though."
Peorth smiled. "I think she'll be fine."
Suddenly, Skuld blinked, and her forehead mark ceased to glow.
She smiled.
Seconds later, John blinked awake.
"How're you feeling, John?" Peorth asked.
John stretched. "For a man who was bits and pieces a moment ago,
not bad."
W: You know, you really didn't have to go to pieces like that --
L: DILL BRAND!!!
<The floor explodes under Wasyuu, lofting her skyward>
S: <looks up> Good shot, Lina.
L: She was asking for it.
He sat up, then blinked. "It's kinda drafty in here."
Skuld and Belldandy blushed again.
<Lina and Shachihoko laugh>
After some hastily conjured trousers and a shirt, John was able to
stand up and look around, although he was still groggy, and Skuld
had to help him put on his trenchcoat.
W: <landing atop a pile of rubble> Hope they exorcised it first.
L: Didn't that landing hurt?
W: I know how to generate an AT Field.
S: <sighs> I knew I shouldn't have let you figure that out.
John looked down at Skuld as he leaned on her for support. "You
did it, eh, luv?"
Skuld beamed proudly.
"Good girl," John smiled.
Peorth ahemed. "That's all well and good, but... what about the
Yggdrasil?"
John turned to Skuld. "Well, now... let's see about fixing it.
How does that bloody thing work?"
"Oh, let me..."
Skuld let go of John, who stumbled a bit before being caught by
Belldandy. Peorth was at John's side quickly, and took over
supporting him, as Belldandy joined Urd and Skuld in turning
to the Yggdrasil and going over the control panels.
In seconds, lights blinked rapidly, as the Norn sisters got to
work.
Skuld turned her head to John as she typed rapidly. "See, the
Yggdrasil works like this..."
Suddenly, the doors to the Yggdrasil burst open. Raguel strode
into the room, followed by the rest of the Archangels. Raphael
was among them, looking as nervous as could be.
"CONSTAAAANTIIINE!" Raguel bellowed, as he stormed purposefully
towards John. He thrust his flaming sword at Constantine, as the
other Archangels surrounded the goddesses.
"You... you've defiled the sanctity of the Heavens, Constantine...
you and your Norse goddesses! Together, you've managed to turn
the Heavens themselves upside down. If ever a mortal deserved
the flaming blazes of Hell, it would be YOU, John Constantine!
To tamper with the Yggdrasil...!" And he jerked up the sword and
pointed it at John's face, eyes ablaze in righteous rage.
L: Oh please ... the guy's been through Hell, can't you give him a break?
S: Raguel wasn't there, he doesn't know what happened.
W: Actually, it's the other way around, Lina. Hell has been through Heaven
and all its residents ... and very personally through Constantine.
L: <pauses> Good point.
Unfazed, John crossed his arms and traded harsh glares with the
Archangel. Things, in his view, were just dandy. After all, he
had a plan. "And... this is, I suppose, to, you, justice?"
S: Hey, after being taken apart by the First of the Fallen, I don't think
an Archangel would scare me so much either.
Raguel stopped in his tracks, clearly taken by surprise at the
cowering that John wasn't doing. That just was not right. He
pointed his flaming sword, and mortals cowered. That's the way
it usually worked. Meanwhile, the goddesses were staring at the
confrontation with much surprise. It seemed, somehow, that John
had things under control, though none of them could really say
why.
"Of course this is justice!" roared Raguel. "Unapproved
tampering of the Yggdrasil is forbidden!"
Now would have been a good time to blow smoke in Raguel's face,
but, much to his chagrin, John didn't have a cigarette available.
Instead, he settled for rolling his eyes up. "Oh please. You're
hardly one to talk about justice."
"What? You dare-"
"Yeah I dare," said Constantine with scorn. "I bet you'd turn
the other way if it was anyone else."
"I am the Wrath of God!" bellowed Raguel. "I exact His vengeance
unto all, be they demons or deities!"
John grinned as he cast a look at Raphael, who fidgeted
uncomfortably. "Even, say, Archangels?"
"Yes!"
L: Ohhhhhh boy ... <grins in anticipation>
W: Twisting the knife.
S: No talk about knives right now? Please? ^^;
Raguel was fiery with anger. Raphael was edging away nervously.
John's smile became a little vicious.
"Well, now, Raggy, I think you should know-"
Raphael quickly stepped forward and cut in. "Raguel, would you
please let me talk to the mortal?"
L: How'd he cut in without a knife or sword or something?
W: Figure of speech.
Raguel turned towards Raphael, eyes blazing. "_What?_"
Raphael looked down. "I mean... ah... I am the overseer of
humanity.. and... ah... this falls into my domain... somewhat...
er.. and... I believe I can get to the bottom of the truth. Allow
me some time to talk to Constantine."
Raguel gave Raphael an uncertain and skeptical look, then nodded.
"Very well."
"Er... alone."
"What?" all the other Archangels spoke in chorus. John grinned.
Oh, he definitely had Raphael by the bollocks.
W: I *do* like Constantine's style.
Raguel, at this point, looked very unhappy. "Very well, Raphael.
As you like."
No sooner had Raguel spoken the words than Raphael and John vanished
from sight. Raguel nodded to the other Archangels and they filed
out of the room, leaving the goddesses alone in the Yggdrasil and
wondering what was to happen next.
Peorth sighed. "Now what?"
"We've got to fix the Yggdrasil," Skuld piped up.
"Oh. Then I should be going. Ta-ta!" And Peorth vanished.
Belldandy began to tidy up and get to work, as Skuld turned her
attention to the Yggdrasil.
Urd put her hands behind her head. "Typical. The men leave us to
do the clean-up."
-*-
S: To save space (again) we're skipping the visit to Limbo ... John and
Raphael talking in private ... but this was another very well-written
scene.
-*-
"... and the two had come to the Yggdrasil believing it
corrupted, when actually Mara was using them to gain entry.
She, in turn, caused the system to fault in such a way as to
grantentry to the First of the Fallen. So as you see, my
brothers, they were merely the pawns of others." Raphael
nervously smiled at his fellow Archangels in the Tribunal room,
hoping that the others would not question the story further.
Technically, he WAS telling the truth. He was, as John
instructed, just leaving out a few details.
W: A couple of typos to fix. 'Had come to Yggdrasil, believing it
corrupted when actually, Mara was using them' ... also, 'as to grant entry
to' - need a space in there.
There was a moment of silence.
The others seemed blank in their response, neither eagerly
accepting nor disbelieving Raphael's story.
S: Most of the Archangels, not 'the others.'
Raguel, however, was frowning. It was known that he was looking
forward to smiting Constantine. "This is the truth, Raphael?"
The Archangel nodded, trying to stay calm.
"And in your opinion, the matter is closed?" asked Raguel,
gritting his teeth.
Raphael nodded again.
There was another moment of silence. Raguel seemed to be
growling ever so slightly.
"Very well," said Raguel.
Raphael inwardly sighed in relief and the Archangels all departed
to other destinations and obligations. Soon, the room was empty,
save one brooding, irritated archangel.
"One day, Constantine will slip. And when he does, I'll be
there," the Archangel Raguel, the Vengeance of the Lord, swore.
-*-
Skuld worked alone in the Yggdrasil, looking over the system to
make sure all was well and in place. Belldandy and Urd had done
their jobs, rebuilding what had been torn asunder, and had
departed for earth once more.
The littlest goddess found that work was just the thing to
distract her troubled mind. A part of her was feeling guilty for
what happened to John. With the whirlwind of events that
happened after his resurrection, she hadn't had a chance talk to
him at all yet.
W: Hey, isn't Skuld taller than I am?
L: There have to be younger goddesses than Skuld.
Lines of code flickered past at inhuman speed. Skuld looked at
it all, numbly noting that all was well. Another part of her,
however, still had her mind on other things.
"John, where are you?"
"Right here, luv. What's up?"
"EEEEK!" Skuld jumped straight up in shock and nearly malleted
John, who was laughing and clearly amused at Skuld's reaction.
She pouted and harmlessly bapped his arm while John grinned and
laughed a bit more.
"Where have you been?!" she demanded to know.
John shrugged. "Oh, me'n Raphael just had a bit of a talk. No
big deal."
"So you're not in trouble with the Archangels?"
"Raguel might be a bit miffed for a while, but otherwise I think
I'm in the clear. Besides, Raphael left me in your care."
"Oh." Skuld paused, not sure what to say next, twiddling her
thumbs and looking at the floor. "Um... John... I..."
"Hey, something bothering you kid?"
"I'm... I'm sorry about... um..."
"Oh. Hey, luv, I'm all right now, aren't I? Everything came out
well in the end, didn't it?"
Skuld nodded, still looking at the ground. A hint of a tear
appeared in the corner of an eye and she sniffled.
"And besides, I've had worse," said John nonchalantly. He
lifted Skuld's chin up and looked her in the eye, smiling. "The
good guys won, evil has been defeated, and all is well. So
everything's fine, see?"
She smiled, though her eyes still looked sad and nodded.
S: Insert a comma after 'sad.' Eyes don't nod.
"So hey, give us a hug. *OOF*"
She hugged him tightly, sobbing into his trenchcoat while he held
her and occasionally patted her on the back.
-*-
A little later, after Skuld had finished crying, she and John sat
behind the console of the mighty Yggdrasil. Skuld was once again
looking things over, with John peeking over her shoulder
occasionally.
Something was bothering Skuld.
-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-
It wasn't the chore of inspecting code.
-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-
It wasn't even the lingering memory of John's mauled remains.
-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-
She spun around to face John. "STOP IT!"
John smiled apologetically and ceased tapping the floor with his
foot. "Sorry, luv. I'm just a bit edgy without me cigarettes."
"Oh. Is that why?" She typed something briefly in the Yggdrasil
console, which promptly spat out something small and white. She
then took that and...
*WHAP*
"Oi!"
... slapped it on John's forehead.
"What's this bloody thing?" he demanded to know, rubbing the
circular object stuck on his forehead.
"Nicotine patch," said Skuld. "It's much healthier than smoking,
you know."
"Nicotine patch?!" John pulled it off immediately as if it were
a leech. "Bollocks. Frig this."
Skuld gave him a disapproving note, to which he reacted with a
sigh and a lazy wave of his hand. "Yeah yeah, I know, shouldn't
say Frig."
Skuld went back to inspecting the Yggdrasil for defects, while
John idly sat by once more.
-tap-tap-tap-
*AHEM*
"Fine, I'll put the bloody patch on."
He hated to admit it, but he did feel better, if only a little.
"Say... Skuld..."
"Hm?"
"I was wondering if you could do yer uncle John a bit of a
favor."
Skuld blinked. "Favor?"
"Well, you never know when some big mess with the Yggdrasil might
pop up again," said John with much concern. "I just thought it
would be nice if you could make a few changes here and there."
"Changes?"
"Well, first of all, if you could... oh... I dunno... maybe make
a back door into this place just for me."
"I dunno..."
"C'mon, luv," said John, "surely you can let me have that favor."
"Well... okay."
John grinned. "While we're on the topic of changes, there's a
few other little things you might want to consider..."
"Oh?"
"I mean, they're just ideas... you don't have to..."
"Oh, I want to hear them," said Skuld enthusiastically.
"Really?"
Skuld nodded.
John grinned.
"I think," he said, "this is the start of a beautiful
friendship."
-= end part 3 =-
S: <gets up, stretching> Excellent work, guys.
L: I wanna see them go kick the First's ugly butt!
W: *Is* there going to be a part 4?
S: We'll find out, I guess.
Tim Miller
trmiller@mail.bcpl.lib.md.us