At 08:46 PM 1/8/98 -0700, St. Suika Roberts wrote:

Yoush!  I think this is about as good as it will get any time
soon. . .
So, any comments/criticism/complaints would be appreciated.
Thanks,
	Suika ('fic after .sig)

  You use a cute gimmick, but I have problems with your plot and character
development.  

  Ranma accepts the new situation with Akane and Shampoo much too readily.
He is so blase that one would think that Shampoo and Akane had said that
they were going to the corner store.  By your description of the potion,
IIRC, it shouldn't make the partners incapable of having feelings for
anyone else.  So why do Akane and Shampoo tell Ranma that he must look
elsewhere for love?  Has the potion negated their former feelings for Ranma?  

  Why does Ranma want to feed the potion to Ukyou?  What happened to
Ranma's fear of commitment?  Does he want to get married to Ukyou?  Does he
want to get married when he asks her to come to the Tendos?  Anyway, Ukyou
is already totally smitten with Ranma and he knows it.  

  What about the rest of the Ranma gang?  What will Ryouga do when he finds
out?  Wouldn't Akane want to take her pet with her?  What will Mousse do?
How can Nabiki let all this occur withou making a profit out of it?

  The story just didn't grip me.  There was no tension, no drama, and
little humor.  Sorry.

                                                                     dml