*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS*
(And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain)
(The future isn't what it used to be....)
"MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SEASON TWO)
EPISODE 11: THAT GIRL PT. 2
(A Sailor Moon Lemon MSTing)
MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7
This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment
purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or
trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.
Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc. are
the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc. Just covering
my own ass here folks....
"Sailor Moon" is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and all the distributors
of her work.
"That Girl" is the property of Oscar and he's welcome to it. I do not
intend to offend him for making fun of his work like this but I figure
it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think of this as another
form of C&C. ;)
Warning: This fic contains mature content, both lemon and otherwise.
If you are offended by such material, simply delete it and it's gone. If
not, enjoy!
LAST TIME ON MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7....
"Good thing I decided to move this before we started to
fight." Ryouga remarked as he opened it and ruffled through it.
Then he carefully pulled a plastic jar filled with water out of his
backpack. Checking the hand printed label, he confirmed it was
the right one and then slowly walked over to the prone form of
Ranma, his face expressionless as he began to unscrew the top.
"Consider this my gift to you, Ranma."
Ryouga finished unscrewing the top, looked around him
to make sure he was not being watched and then he poured the entire
jar over Ranma-Chan's body, then stepped back and waited for the
change to occur....
WHOOPS....HEH....WRONG RECAP....SORRY. LET'S TRY
THAT AGAIN....
DEEP 13
"FRANK, I SWEAR IF YOU DON'T....!!!
"ACHOO!!!" Frank-Chan exploded as she sneezed all over Dr.
Forrester.
The room went deathly silent. Neither person moved an inch as
Frank, now a male again, watched the snot slowly travel down Dr. F's face
and drip down his lime green lab coat. The trickles continued downwards
until it reached the chest where a pair of newly formed breasts now rested.
Frank broke the silence by wiping his nose on his sleeve and then, after
taking a deep breath, forced himself to look into Dr. Forrester's eyes,
about to apologize profusely....
Frank's words were caught in his throat as he noticed Dr. F's
beautiful blue eyes, were glowing with rage. Frank would have sworn that
Dr. F was exposed to Mako energy had he not known what had happened.
Then Frank noticed a mallet in Dr. Forrester-Chan's hand.
"FFFFFRANK....!" A deadly feminine voice whispered.
"Uh, sorry?" Frank squeaked lamely.
"NNNNNOOOO....!!" the whisper continued.
"The fanfic, Dr. F! What about the fanfic!" Frank yelped,
gesturing frantically at the console....
AND NOW THE CONTINUATION....
"BBBBBBBBAKA!!!!!!" She screamed as she unloaded the
mallet on Frank's head. She did more several times until it broke off
from repeated impacts, the head not the mallet. Then she kicked
Frank's head across the room to impact hard against the wall. The
head wobbled from side to side for a moment and then the head inquired.
"Feel better now, Dr. F?"
Dr. Forrester-Chan turned her head towards the screen, ran
her fingers through her cherry red locks and turned back to Frank.
"Much." she replied. "Anyway, as I was saying, I think it's time to
unleash the rest of Oscar's fanfic on our unwitting heroes. I figure the
sudden realization should dampen their spirits considerably and then
when the lemon scene arrives....OH HO HO HO HO HO HO!!!" Dr.
Forrester-Chan's laughter echoed throughout the room. Frank's
headless body shuddered.
"They'll rue the day they messed with you, Dr. F!" Frank replied
in his best suck-up tone of voice.
"They already are, Frank....heh heh heh....they already are. Send
them the second part, Frank...."
"Uh...." Frank began.
Dr. Forrester-Chan giggled. "Silly me! I forget about your
little predicament there."
"Then you'll put me back together again?" Frank replied hopefully.
"Not till I get all that Jusenkyou water out of you, Frank! Thank your
lucky stars I have some Nannichuan water to cure myself or all the king's horses
and all the king's men couldn't save you from my wrath!" Dr. Forrester-Chan
replied sweetly as she went over to the console to send part two of "That Girl"
to the theater. That done, she glanced down at her breasts and shrugged.
"I don't see why Ranma makes such a big deal out of these...."
* * *
SATELLITE OF LOVE
The conga line had progressed to a combination of a bunny hop
and a limbo under Gypsy when alarms and sirens suddenly rang out.
"WHAT?!?!" Everyone shouted at once.
"Don't tell me Dr. Forrester's got another fanfic for us already!?!"
Tom exclaimed in disbelief!
"I was afraid of this...." Joel sighed.
"He didn't even tell us what it is?! NO FAIR!!" Crow whined.
"Come on guys, let's just go in and get it over with...." Joel
replied....
"Lousy bum...." Tom grumbled.
(Door 6: It's a giant speaker. You plug a electric guitar into it, crank up
the volume and strum it hard, causing it to explode.)
(Door 5: It's made of Lego. You take it apart and build a dozen small objects
with it before you continue.)
(Door 4: It's a four layer door. The first goes into the ceiling while the
other three retract rapidly in order of left, right, left.)
(Door 3: It's made of solid rock. You cover it with a large sheet of paper and
it vanishes.)
(Door 2. It's a complex puzzle from RIVEN. You work on it for an hour
then take the coward's way out and read the solution from the net....)
(Door 1: It a double door. Both swirl open from the center.)
(Door .7: A beam of golden light erupts from the floor. You walk into it.)
Joel emerges from the light into the theater with Tom in his arms,
Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind. Stepping over
the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the theater on his own, Joel
placed him down on one of the theater seats and sat next to him, Crow
sitting on his right.
Tom: Why was the door sequence the same as the last fic? Doesn't it usually
change?
Crow: This is a new season. Maybe they changed the routine?
Joel: You just don't get it, do you guys?
Crow and Tom: Get what?
And now a special message from your master, your god, your supreme
being of all that exists, the happiest sadist, Gentleman and Robots, Dr.
Clayton Forrester! Yay!!!
Tom: What the heck's this all about?
Crow: What could it mean?
Joel: Why does Dr. Forrester sound like a girl?
Greetings, fools! I've temporarily inserted myself into this fanfic to tell
you that yesterday's abrupt ending was nothing more than a ruse to get
you spirits up so I can crush them with the remainder of "That Girl"!
BWAHAHAHAHA!!! So enjoy, my little friend and be sure to pay
special attention to the lemon scene, I wouldn't want you to miss all the
fun....heh heh heh....Toodles!
Crow and Tom: ....
Joel: Uh oh, I'd better tone down their emotion chips before it's....
Crow: WHY YOU #$#$%@%@%@%@%!#%!%!#%!%!!!!
Tom: ARRRRRRRRRGHHHH!!!! (Tom's head explodes with a flash
of pyrotechnics and a shower of sparks)
Joel: ....too late.
Crow: DAMN YOU, DR. FORRESTER!!! YOU'RE BEYOND EVIL!!!
BEYOND EVIL!!!
Joel: Crow, calm down and give me a hand with Tommy here.
Crow: (still screaming at the screen) IF I EVER GET DOWN FROM
THIS SATELLITE, YOU....!!!
(Joel walks over to Crow and slaps him hard. Crow is momentarily dazed
as Joel looks him in the eyes and says....)
Joel: Crow! Get a grip! We're all in this together and *together* we can
survive this! But I need you to calm down! I can't MST this fic without
you guys....okay?
Crow: (simulates taking a deep breath) Okay, fine Joel. Just let him walk
all over us, why don't ya....
Joel: Stay frosty, pal. We're all in this together. Hand me that scotch tape....
(A few minutes later)
Joel: Feeling better Tommy?
Tom: (coughs) Yeah, I guess so.....I still hate Dr. F's guts though....
Artemis finally founded Oscar in the game, and he had the Bazooka,
Oscar went wide-eyed as Artemis pushed the Fire button and blasted
Oscar into itty bitty pieces,
Crow: We should have known it was too good to be true. This is Dr.
Forrester we're talking about....
Tom: Still, a Duke Nukem .wad with Oscar as the enemy is a GREAT
idea!
Crow: From the creator of Priss Nukem....
Joel: That's the way, guys. Don't let Dr. F get to you....
Tom: I'll try Joel....
"Yes!!! ha ha!" Artemis said With a big fat smile and his fang outside.
Oscar falled from the bed with a Crazy look on his face, and weakly said
"I-I can't beleive it!! A-Artemis beated me?".
Tom: Geez, get a grip! It's only a video game for crying out loud....
Crow: Ahem, I believe the word Oscar meant to say was *defeated* not
*beated.*
Joel: Good job, Crow....
Crow: So get it right next time or else the Senshi will shove your N64
where the sun don't shine!
Joel: Crow....
Crow: I'm calm! I'm just bitter, that's all....
"Better luck next time!" Artemis said to him as he looked from the bed.
Oscar stood up and turned off the N64, and tunned in the FOX channel.
Joel: All right! Just in time for Tazmania!
Tom: Somehow I picture Oscar watching Eek the Cat....
Then something knocked the door, Oscar and Artemis heard this and
went to the front door, He oppened it, but no one was there instead he
found a letter below his feet,
Joel: First the cats were *in* their shoulders, then they ate *inside* a
table, now a letter is *below* his feet?
Crow: Maybe he just stepped on it?
Joel: Oh....
"Huh?" Oscar said as he took the envelope and oppened it. It said:
Joel: Dear Oscar, you may have just won ten-million dollars!
Tom: Dear Friend, welcome to Hermaphrodite's Anonymous!
Crow: Dear Mr. O. Wilde, Your catnip scented hot oils have arrived
and are ready to be picked up.
"Oscar, meet me at the School's football stadium, at 7:00 pm. sharp, and
come alone....". Oscar raised an eyebrow and returned inside, Artemis
was curious of what the letter said, and asked "Um Oscar what does it say?"
Crow: (imitating Oscar) I've been called to jury duty for Judge Brainitite!
Tom: (imitating Oscar) I've been accepted into Yale!
Joel: (imitating Oscar) None of you damn business, furball!
Oscar looked down to Artemis and with a smile he replied "Oh just a little
challenge that some guy made me, no big deal," Artemis smiled and said
"Well, good luck" Oscar blinked and then chuckled.
Crow: Now this is starting to sound like a Ranma 1/2 fanfic....
It was 6:43 pm. and Oscar Got in his fighting suit, that looks like Goku's
but without the "Kame" sign,
Joel: Funny, I was expecting something a bit more ...hermaphrodite-ish.
Crow: Like what? A T-shirt that says "I go 2 wayz"?
Joel: I guess I walked into that one.
he then left the house and went to the stadium. Oscar got there at 6:59 and
looked everywhere as he saw noone waiting for him.
Joel: Who?
Tom: Noone?
Crow: Noone I ever heard of. Ha! I kill me....
Oscar felt a little worried, and excactly at 7:00 he heared someone yell.
"SANDP-SPLASH!!!" The voice yelled,
Tom: Who yelled first? Someone or the voice?
Joel: Aren't Sandps very dangerous hermit-crabs?
Tom: No, I believe Sandps are morons who sit at the beach all day and no
one really wants to see bare-chested.
Crow: Nah, Sandps are when cats do number 1.
Joel and Tom: Oh, ick.
Oscar turned around but everything went all foggy and dusty, he couldn't see
nothing.
Tom: Sailor Mercury's attacking him?
Crow: Either her or Pigpen....
A familiar voice then said "Why did you had to come into my life!?"
Oscar still confused said "Who are you? show yourself!" He then felt
something aproaching by his side, the person tryed to punch him, but Oscar
jumped out of it's range.
Tom: Fortunately, Oscar had his spidey sense to evade the attack....
"Why are you attacking me?" Oscar asked the voice,
Crow: Wait a minute....Maybe Artemis hired an assassin to bump off Oscar!
Joel: Of course! Mercury told Artemis how much Mina missed him and
together they arranged this clever trap to be rid of him once and for all!
Tom: That *would* be a cool plot twist....but I kinda doubt it.
and it replied "I liked you since the day i saw you....no one deserves you
more than me!!"
Joel: Oscar knew those words would come back to haunt him someday....
Crow: Him? They're still haunting me....
Again Oscar felt someone near him, the person tried to drop kick him,
but Oscar evaded again. The voice said "But no....you had to be in love
with a cat!!!" Oscar heared this and Went wide-eyed, as his mind went
to overdrive "What?!!" Osca said still bewildered. "DELTAAA KICK!!!!"
Tom: WE TRIED TO GET UNITED AND TWA, BUT THEY WERE
TOO EXPENSIVE!!!!
The voice yelled, Oscar was too emotionall to notice the person
aproaching, the person connected the 2 kicks to Oscar, he went
flying and slammed into the floor.
All: YEAH! KICK HIS ASS, SAILOR MERCURY!!!
Oscar stood up "Sooo you wanna fight? then that you'll get"
Crow: (imitating Oscar) My name is Oscar. Prepare to die!
Tom: (imitating Mercury) You fight like a dairy farmer!
Crow: (imitating Oscar) I am rubber, you are glue!
Tom: (imitating Mercury) There are no words to describe how disgusting you are!
Crow: (imitating Oscar) Oh yeah?
Tom: (imitating Mercury) You're no match for my brains, you poor fool!
Crow: (imitating Oscar) Uh....I am rubber, you are glue!
The person laughed "Ha ha ha!!" Oscar heared this and said "I know that
voice"
Joel: It's Dr. Claw!
The person runned into Oscar, punching him repeteadly and kicking him,
Crow: (imitating Captain Kirk in Star Trek III) I....AM SICK....AND
TIRED....OF YOU!!!
Oscar blocked everyone of the person's attacks, Then the person made a
slash to Oscar and ripped his shirt, "Whoa!" Oscar said as he looked his
shirt all ripped off,
Tom: (imitating Oscar) Aw, man! It took me six months to save enough
cereal box tops for that!
Crow: Thank god it wasn't his undies....
"ROLLING BUCKLEEE!!!!"
Tom: (imitating William Buckley) What my erudite colleagues may fail
to realize is..."
Joel: The Buckley stops here, Tom.
Oscar quickly noticed this and saw a medium sized ball run into him,
attacking him and scratching him below,
Joel: That *HAS* to hurt....
Crow: Baraka in a cameo roll!
Tom: (imitating Oscar) Thanks! A little lower and to the right....
Crow: Ick....
but Oscar managed to block the fierce attack, then the person unballed
itself and made a move similar to Ken's shoryuken,
Tom: He's being attacked by Ryu!
Crow: Or Sakura....
Tom: Or Akuma....
Crow: Or Dan....
Tom: Or Sagat....
Crow: Or....
Joel: Enough, already!
Oscar too blocked that, The person now tryed to punch him on the face
but Oscar blocked it and jumped up.
Tom: That's right! Not only will writing a self-insertion story get you
the women, it'll make you INVINCIBLE!
Joel: Just ask our satisfied customers....Twister, Pat Lee, Crys Shroder,
John Biles....
Oscar managed to see part of the person from above, it was a woman!.
Crow: And which part would that be?
Joel: Crow....
Oscar when he came down, he didn't loked the woman there, and felt
something behind him, it was the woman preparing to land on him with
a BIG strong fist!
Joel: ....severed from the left arm of Glen Manning!
Crow: (imitating Felicia) TOGGG!!!
The woman launched her fist into him but she just traspassed him, IT
WAS AN ILLUSION, the real Oscar was before her,
Tom: When did this fic turn into F/X?
and with a light fast punch to the stomach he desabilitated the woman.
Crow: The hermaphrodite's vocabulary seems to be improving....
Joel: She's becoming unstable! She's reaching critical mass!
Tom: It's TNT on PMS! AHHHH!!!
The woman held her stomach, and backed up, as she knelt in front of
Oscar.
Crow: (imitating Oscar) I'M THE GOD! I'M THE GOD!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Tom: (imitating Felicia) I think I'm going to be sick....
Joel: I think a lot of angry Felicia fans will be e-mailing Oscar very soon....
He then disipated the fog with a punch, he punched up to the air,
forming an air turrent and disipating the fog. The woman slowly took
form, Oscar looked at her, and exalted "Huh?!!" IT WAS FELICIA
"Fe-Felicia???"
Joel: Come on, how can Oscar be so stupid as to not realize it was
Felicia attacking him after the way she was obsessing over him earlier....
Crow: I get the feeling Oscar's been ambushed quite a bit.....
Felicia was still hurted for Oscar's light punch, Felicia began crying
her tears going down from her cheeks.
Joel: (imitating Oscar) Get up you wuss! Is that all you've got?!
Tom: First it was tear ducts in the heads of the Senshi, now it's in the
cheeks of Felicia. Everyone's a freak in this fanfic!
Crow: Which cheeks?
Joel: Crow....
Oscar knelt before her, Took her by the shoulders and standing her up,
he lifted her face looking her straight in the eyes.
Tom: Oscar's moonlighting as a plastic surgeon?
Crow: (imitating Oscar) You are getting sleepy....
Joel: He's engaged her in a staring contest.
"Felicia what is wrong?" Said Oscar, "Oscar.....why did you do this to
me?" Said Felicia still crying,
Tom: Well, I could be wrong but attacking him just *might* have had
something to do with it....
Oscar shrugged "What i did to you? i didn't do nohing!"
Joel: (imitating Oscar) But I didn't do *nothing* either....
Crow: First it was Serena, now he's imitating Ranma....
Felicia then said "I like you Oscar...Don't you?" Oscar Blinked "Well yes...but"
Crow: (imitating Oscar) I want everyone to like me, not just myself!
Tom: Oscar makes Kunou and Mikado look self-conscious....
Felicia said "But what? Artemis isn't it?" Oscar sighed "Yes....Sorry Felicia...."
Joel: I hate to admit this but Oscar's showing he has some principles by
sticking with Artemis. It may be bizarre but Oscar must really care for
him if he's rejecting Felicia....
Tom: Well, bully for him.
Crow: This is REALLY starting to sound like Ranma 1/2 now....
Joel: Yeah, all he needs is a few more suitors and he's set.
Tom: I don't think anyone else is willing to chase Oscar....at least I hope
not.
Felicia then said "But it's just that....i like you so much!" Oscar then
hugged Felicia "Now now Felicia....i'm not the only man in this
world.....you WILL find better men,
Tom: Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow....
Crow: Maybe even sooner than that!
and men that aren't Hermaphrodites....oops" Felicia looked at Oscar and
said "Hermaphrodite? you're an herm.?" Oscar blushed "Yes..."
Joel: The moment of truth....Will she reject him because of the cruel trick
nature played on him? Or will she look beyond his bizarre genitalia and
see the true person within?
Tom: (sighs) Joel, this is a self-insertion fic, remember? Truth has no
meaning here....
Felicia then said "I don't care....i just LOVE you!"
Tom: See? Told you so!
Joel: Sorry, I forgot who was writing this....
Crow: It's love at second sight!
Oscar breathed hard
Crow: (imitating Lloyd Bridges) By this time my lungs were aching for air!
"Felicia....you have to find another man....i don't think we would make it"
Tom: But, since this *IS* a self-insertion fic....
Felicia then looked at Oscar straight in the eyes "I will try....but i'm not
sure....i mean look at me, i'm afreak" Oscar smiled "No you're not,
Joel: You're ordinarily challenged!
Crow and Tom: (singing) He's a superfreak! The kind you don't take home
to mother....
i'm a herm. and i have passed the last 11 years facing lots of humiliations but
now that i'm 14 i don't get such comments"
Crow: So what happened between the ages of 0-3? And what's stopping
people from commenting on him now?
Tom: These and many other questions to hopefully never be answered in
any future parts of Sailor Moon Z!
Joel: We're seeing Oscar's sensitive side now....
Felicia showed him her body, incuding her tail
Crow: (imitating Oscar) Okay, you've convinced me. I'll ditch the furball
and meet you in the bedroom in five minutes!
Joel: Crow....
"But won't this scare the guys off?" Oscar looked at her and said "I don't
think someone would care for that, not even the stupidest person would care
for such minor things"
Crow: But the stupidest person *would* reject such a body for a ordinary cat
and write a lemon about it....
Tom: (imitating Oscar) Just don't let that tail wander around when making
love with a guy....
Joel: Tom....
Crow: Ick.
Felicia Smiled and said "Thanks Oscar" She hugged him, and Oscar said
"Sooo want me to walk you home?" Felicia giggled "No thanks, i'll go
alone, thanks" She waved goodbye and then she parted.
Crow: (imitating Oscar) Hey, you didn't thank me again! Thanks for
nothing!
Tom: Well, let's recap the fanfic so far....Felicia's in love with Oscar
and....uh....Felicia's in love with Oscar and she....uh....um....she fell
in love with him right away and....uh....that's it!
Crow: What about the lesbian sub-plot with Lita and Min....oh, *we*
made that up....heh....sorry.
Joel: You forgot about Oscar briefly sleeping with Artemis at one point....
Tom: I almost did, Joel, before you *REMINDED* me, thank you very
much!
Joel: Sorry....
Oscar too went to his home. Artemis was a little worried for Oscar, but
Oscar returned just in time,
Tom: ....to catch Artemis with Mina in bed.
Crow: (imitating Artemis) Oh no! It's the freak! Quick Mina, get in the
closet!
Joel: (sung to "Harvey the Wonder Hamster") Oh, Oscar! Oscar! He loves
saying Oscar! He is so great and he is so bold, when god made him, he broke
the mold! Oscar, Oscar, Oscar the Hermaphrodite! HAIL OSCAR!!!
Tom and Crow: ....
Artemis heared someone opening the front door, and instantly recognized
Oscar's smell
Tom: (snickers) This one's almost too easy....
Crow: (Imitating Artemis) Hmm....Meow mix, wet fur, fresh pee, and a
touch of catnip....yep, that's Oscar all right....
"How did everything went?" Artemis asked Oscar, as he smiled. Oscar
looked down and smiled too
Joel: Oscar and Artemis: Proud graduates of the Nuku Nuku school of smiling.
Tom: Applications available at http://home.sprynet.com/sprynet/sterman/fanfic.htm
Crow: (imitating Oscar) Everything go good!
"Very well, that guy wasn't a match for me!" Artemis smiled "Hu hu, and
who was this guy?" Oscar blinked "Oh it was some loser from school, you
know envy and stuff.
Joel: Oscar's legions of fans show up at any time in the day or night!
Well lets get to sleep"
Tom: Sleep? Didn't the fight start at 7pm? They've got school in less
than two hours!
Crow: Who says they're going to bed early to sleep?
Tom: UGGGGH!!
Joel: I can't believe you went there, Crow....
Crow: I know, sometimes I scare myself...
Artemis went into the bedroom and into the bed sheets, as well did
Oscar, and they doze off to sleep.
Crow: (imitating Mina) Uh....Artemis....Honey? Uh....I'm still in the
closet, Artemis....Can I come out now please? This latex outfit is getting
all sweaty!
Joel: Crow....
Tom: Okay! That's it! It's one thing to plunge repeatedly through a
table and it's another to have hollow shoulders and I can even accept
a letter being below someone's feet! But sleeping *inside* bedsheets....!?!
Joel: Maybe he's a ghost?
Tom: Heh. That figures since he's come back to haunt us....
The next day, Oscar and Felicia were in the classroom. Oscar turned,
and saw Felicia who was paying attention to the tech.
Crow: (imitating tech) Standby! Ready to roll and record in 5 seconds,
15 seconds from now....
Oscar blinked, and tought "Hmmm seems that she has found someone
else...good" The teacher went to Oscar's desk while he was looking at
Felicia. "OSCAR! WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!"
Joel: Looks like the female teachers are not the only ones stressed out....
Tom: Just another day in Home Economics....
Joel: (imitating teacher) LISTEN YOU FREAK!! STOP LOOKING
AT THE OTHER FREAK AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK!!!
Tom: I was just looking at a pussy!
Joel: Tom....
Oscar heared this, and shrugged with a worried look on his face he
slowly turned to the tech.
Crow: (imitating tech) Don't distract me now, you weirdo! IS THE
FLOOR READY? GOOD! IS LIGHTING READY? LIGHTING?
LIGHTING, YOU AWAKE IN THERE OR WHAT?!?
"Y-Yes?". Everyone then teased him by saying "He he he.....Felicia!
Oscar!"
All: ....SITTING IN THE TREE! K..I..S..S..I..N..G!
Oscar blushed and said under his breath "Losers".
Tom: (imitating Oscar) They seem to have forgotten that this is MY
self-insertion story. Heh heh heh....
Then recess came, Oscar, Serena, Rei, Mina, and Amy, sat in their
usual spot,
All: TOGGG!!!
Tom: ....in the middle of the table.
Crow: I still want to know when recess was introduced to high school....
Oscar noticed, that Felicia and Lita weren't there, "Hmmm where could
they be?" he said with a Happosai type face.
Crow: Oh that's much better than Times New Roman....
Tom: Is he lusting after them? Why would his face be like Happosai?
Joel: Maybe Flashman bought out Lita's contract obligations for this fanfic?
Serena then said "Oh Oscar, Lita and Felicia are with they new
boyfriends!" Oscar smiled, "Alright!".
Tom: (imitating Oscar) Two less girls to chase after me!
Crow: I shudder to think of Serena and Oscar ever getting it on....though
it might explain the origins of Chibi-usa a little better....
Joel: Crow....
Rei grinned "Hmm that's one thing you couldn't even get if your life
depended on it!" Serena glared at Rei "Look who's talking! Little
Psycho!"
Tom: Kodachi?
Crow: B-ko?
They started one of their classic Tounge matches. Oscar looked at
those 2 fight "He he he....guess somethings never change!"
Tom: Yep, as long as lemon fanfiction exists, they'll always be scenes
of Serena and Rei frenching each other....
Crow: Amen, brother!
Joel: You guys....
Amy had a Math book, in her left hand, while in her right she held
the Rice mound, she was eating.
Joel: (imitating voice over) Little does Amy know, we've secretly
replaced her rice mound with a piece of styrofoam. Let's
see how long it takes her to notice....
Oscar took a little walk in the school yard, to pass the food when he
suddenly saw Lita with some guy, Oscar stopped and looked at the
cupple
Tom: You know Oscar, it might be wise to invest a *cupple* of bucks into
a *descent* spellchecker....
"Hmm guess he's Lita's new Boyfriend, Hey...but he's not from this
school....nah who cares" he tought And just walked away. Lita was with
her boyfriend,
Crow: (imitating Lita) Look everyone! Doesn't he remind you of my old
boyfriend?
"Umm and what do you want to become, when you finish college?" She
asked,
Joel: A lumberjack?
Tom: Successful?
Crow: The owner of a previously owned coffin business?
(Joel and Tom stare at Crow.)
Crow: What?
"Umm i dunno, but a fanfic critic is not one of my best" He said.
Crow: Suds-kun is her new boyfriend?
Tom: Wow, I wonder how many tea kettle's this fic would get?
Joel: I dunno but I think a Dead Ryouga would be included....
"Oh Kogi...."
Crow: Grab the picnic basket, Poo-poo!"
Lita said, and tought "I hope he doesn't break my heart like my ex".
Joel: Face it, Lita....You're just not *freddy* for a long-term relationship....
Felicia was waiting for her boyfriend, in a bench, he eventually got in
time "Felicia! puff!" the guy said as he reached where Felicia was
Crow: Lita's dating a magic dragon who lives by the sea?
Tom: (imitating Lita) You know, you shouldn't smoke while you run....
"Hi" she responded, "Sorry if i'm late, i had some business to finish in
the other school" The guy said. (Note Lita and Felicia's BF are guys
>from another school, and when they come here, they are in recess too
ok?).
Crow: No, it's not ok. We insist you stop the fanfic and explain it to
us in detail. Now.
Joel: Do we really have a choice?
Felicia smiled and took his arm "So, how've ya been?" Felicia said, trying
to make some conversation, "Oh well, The tech's are assholes,
Crow: (imitating tech) Is that so?! Well, let's see how well you do without
your key light, smartass!
some guy at the school is a nerd, the usual,
Joel: Looks like Melvin likes to visit other schools during recess too.
and u?" Felicia blinked "Well a little hard, to go thru life cuz i'm a
catwoman....
Crow: (imitating Felicia) Not to mention all the people drawing ecchi
pics of me with John Talbain and posting them on the net....
Tom: Better Talbain than Oscar....
but seems that you don't care for that"
Tom: (imitating boyfriend) You're right. You're boring the hell out of me.
I want to talk about what's on my mind....heh heh heh....
Joel: Tom....
She smiled and hugged him "That's one good thing of you...Kuro".
Kuro blushed and caressed her hair "You too Feli..". Lita came along,
and when Kuro saw her, he said "Ummm Felicia let me bring you
something to drink ok? just a minute" Felicia "Ok!"
Crow: (imitating Felicia) Ok! I'll just stand here like a moron while
you run away from Lita for whatever reason!
Joel: She didn't see Lita yet, Kuro did.
Tom: Either way, at least the plot's finally branching out a bit....
Kuro runned into the cafeteria, as Lita got where Felicia was "Hiya Felicia,
how're you doing with your BF?"
Crow: Back Flogger?
Tom: Big Flamer?
Crow: Bong Filler?
Felicia smiled and looked at her "Fine, he just went ot bring me some ice tea"
Lita then asked "Um by the way, have you seen Kogi?" Felicia went-wide eyed
"Who?" Lita replied "Kogi, he's my BF"
Crow: Blood Fiends?
Tom: Brute Force?
Joel: Bone Fighter?
Felicia shrugged "Nope sorry" Lita frogned
Tom: Lita *what*?
Crow: Frogned? Is that the materia in Final Fantasy VII that turns you
into a frog?
Joel: She's already wearing green, why make it harder on herself?
"I can't find him....Well c'ya! good luck eh?" Lita left her there.
Joel: (imitating Lita) I'm taking off, you hoser!
Tom: (imitating Lita) Come up and see me in Canada when you get a chance, eh?
Crow: Do Canadians really talk like that, Joel?
Joel: Well, we think they do....
"Bye!" Felicia yelled, When Kuro saw Lita leaving he got out of the
cafeteria, and went to Felicia's side "Oh Kuro, Lita just passed, thanks"
Crow: Passed what? An exam? Out?
Joel: A kidney stone?
Tom: Gas?
She said as Kuro handed her the Glass of tea. "Oh that big girl?" Kuro
asked Felicia, "Yes she has some strenght!" Felicia responded.
Crow: (imitating Felicia) Why, just a second ago, she crushed my jaw so
I can't speak properly....
Tom: She took down Godzilla and the WWF, how much more strength
does she need?
Joel: And what does being big have anything to do with it?
Crow: Wasn't Felicia described at the beginning of this fic as a big girl
too?
Kuro sighed "You can say that again"
Crow: Wasn't Felicia described at the beginning....
Tom: Save your breath, Henny....
Felicia raised a eyebrow and said "Huh? What was that?" Kuro inmediately
looked back at Felicia "Oh nothing, don't mind me".
Tom: (imitating Kuro) My mind was just on Lita's breasts....No! I mean Pita
breads! Yeah, some nice loaves of fresh Pita bread would be great about
now....heh....
Crow: (imitating Felicia) Nice cover up! I give it a 7.8 for artistic merit and
a 3.2 for delivery....
The day went on,
Crow: And on, and on, and on...
Tom: Much like this fanfic, it keeps going and going....
Joel: Cue the pink bunny!
Felicia kept paying attention to the tech.
Crow: (imitating tech) Okay, honey, can you give me a mike check
please? Good, okay now look towards the camera for second so I can
adjust the focus.....Okay, that's good. Thanks for your cooperation.
Oscar felt good cuz Felicia had founded someone else. at 4:10 again
everyone left the school, the whole gang was in the sidewalk chatting
about school stuff,
Tom: (imitating students) Okay guys, After we've taken over the school
and force some prozac into the teachers, this will be our demands....Number
one: We demand shorter school hours at reasonable times of the day!
Number two: We lose the freaks permanently! Number three: We go to
America and lay siege to USA Today for that idiotic anime article....
Lita then sayed "Ho boy, my BF is just the greatest!,
Joel: Breakfast Flakes?
Tom: Belly Flop?
Crow: Butt Fuc....
Joel: DON'T even think about it, Crow....
Tom: No wonder Lita's so excited!
Joel: Tom!
his name is Kogi" Everyone looked at her and asked "Why?" Lita responded
Joel: (imitating Lita) Uh....because that's what his parents named him?
"Well he's tall he's strong, has a cute face, nice hair, and.....He looks like
my ex-boyfriend"
Crow: Gee, we never saw THAT coming, did we?
Tom: Something tells me Lita's going to have those words etched on her
tombstone...
Joel: Thank god for Dying Fire....
Everyone fell (Sailormoon style) POOOOWW!.
Crow: ....in a way that exposes their panties?
Joel: ....into the center of another table?
Tom: TOGGG!!!
Crow: Oscar's stealing M. Llave's sound effects!
Joel: So did we.
Crow: Oh yeah, I forgot....
Oscar, Artemis, Amy and the others slowly stood up "Oh man...." Rei
said as she looked at Lita.
Tom: (imitating Rei) You are one hot babe, Lita!
Lita looked at everyone stand up, and had a Bewildered look on her face,
"What's wrong?" She asked
Crow: Other than you full-blown obsession with your ex-boyfriend? Not much.
"Ne-Nevermind!" Said Artemis.
All: (singing) HELLO...HOW LOW....HELLO....HOW LOW....
Tom: We're still waiting for this fic to entertain us....
After they stood up, Felicia said "Well me too!
Joel: (imitating Felicia) I look like Lita's ex-boyfriend too!
his name is Kuro" Oscar heared this and patted her shoulder
Tom: (imitating Oscar) Hmm....sounds hollow.
"Glad that you finally found someone...nice going!" he made a
thumbs-up sign.
Crow: (imitating Oscar) Japan A-OK!
Tom: Who knows where that thumb has been?
Joel: Don't go there Tom....
Everyone got home in time, Oscar when he got home, Artemis jumped
down from his shoulder. The week went on,
Joel: (imitating Gary Shandling) Okay, a week has just passed....
as Felicia and Lita kept dating their BF's,
Tom: Beer Foam?
Crow: Blue Fish?
Joel: Skinners?
And Oscar was free from Felicia's claws,
Crow: No pun intended....
Then, in saturday Felicia went to the park, where Kuro would meet her,
Lita was also there, but in another place,
Tom: If she's still there, it can't be a better place....
Joel: How can she be there and in another place at the same time?
Crow: There *are* other fanfics with Lita out there, Joel....
Tom: Alternate universes. Gotta love em.
Crow: Not this one I don't....
she was with Kogi. They went nearer and nearer where Felicia was,
and Felicia noticed someone aproach, Kogi noticed Felicia from a
distance and inmediately backed up "What's wrong?" Lita asked
worried, as Kogi had a scared look on his face
Joel: (imitating Kogi) I don't wanna facefault when she tells me about her
old boyfriend, it hurts!
"No-Nothing lets just go this way" he turned back and went the other way,
Felicia followed them, as she came in closer, "Kuro?" Felicia asked,
Tom: Uh oh....
Crow: Looks like somebody's been doing some two-timing....
Joel: Is he nuts?!? Cheating on a girl that defeated Godzilla and another
catgirl that fights Darkstalkers for a living?!?
Tom: And this year's stupidest person of the year award goes to....KURO!
Lita turned back and saw Felicia "Oh hi Felicia! this is Kogi, who i talked you
about last monday"
Joel: (imitating Lita) Hey! He reminds me of my *current* boyfriend!
Kogi hid his face from Felicia,
Crow: Exactly where is he hiding it?
Tom: I can think of a nice place....
Joel: Tom....
"Kogi say hi, c'mon" Lita said as she shook him Kogi weakly said "Hi..."
Felicia heared his voice and said "Hey i know that voice"
Crow: And it ain't Dr. Claw!
Tom: Kogi better hope his life insurance is paid up because he's about to
get a lynching that'll make Lum's seem pale by comparison....
Joel: Too bad Kogi isn't the star of this self-insertion fic....
Lita blinked "Huh?" Felicia Said "Hmmm Kuro hasn't showed up, he said
he would meet me here at this hour...." Kogi said to Felicia, still hiding
his face from her "Don't worry, he'll come"
Crow: He's practically there already!
Tom: Come on, surely Felicia's seen his face and made the connection by
now....
Felicia kept thinking "I know that voice...but nah! he couldn't be"
Crow: (imitating Felicia) My boyfriend hides his face in my neck, not between
my breasts....
Joel: Crow....
And then said "Ok, C'ya!" She said as she left. Lita then turned to Kogi
"Well lets continue"
Joel: (imitating Lita) ....to pretend that you didn't try to hide your face
from Felicia for some strange reason or that something fishy is going on
behind my back....
Tom: I don't believe this. Oscar's reduced Felicia and Lita's intelligence to
the size of a peanut....
Crow: (imitating Chico Marx) Peannnnnnnnuts.....to you, Oscar!
Kogi and Lita kept walking on the park's sidewalk.
Joel: Because, you see, that's what you do on a sidewalk....
Felicia was still waiting for Kuro, but after 20 mins. she gave up hope,
and went with Lita.
Joel: (imitating Felicia) Okay, Lita, I've been stood up so you're my
date for today....
Tom: (imitating Felicia) Say Lita, why did your boyfriend hide from
me like that?
Joel: (imitating Lita) I don't know, maybe he's shy or something? Why
did you think you heard his voice?
Tom: (imitating Felicia) I dont know, I guess there are a million voices
in the world that could sound like Kuro's....
Crow: Maybe Lita's in on it. You ever think of that?
Tom and Joel: Hmmm....
Lita and Kogi where in a bench, chatting,
Joel: <imitating Lita on IRC> *** Sailor Jupiter changes topic to "When
do you think the freak will catch on?"
Crow: <Kuro> Felicia's such a moron! She still thinks I'm interested in
her....
Joel: <Kuro> Hey Lita, check this out!
*** Kuro is now known as Kogi
Joel: <Kogi> Look! Now I'm a completely different boyfriend!
Tom: <Lita> Hahaha! :)
Crow: <Kogi> Now watch this!
*** Kogi is now known as Felicia
Crow: <Felicia> Hmmm Kuro hasn't showed up, he said he would meet me
here at this hour....DUH!!!
Tom: <Lita> ROTFLMAO!!!
Felicia saw them from a distance, Kogi got closer to Lita and finally kissed
her mouth to mouth.
Joel: Because, you see, that's what you do when you kiss....
Felicia saw the scene and She looked horrified as She saw Kuro kissing
Lita!
Tom: If Felicia hasn't caught on by now, I'm outta here....
Felicia went to the bench where they were sittening, with a furious look, she
eventually got there,
Crow: (imitating Felicia) *gasp* *wheeze* W...who's brilliant idea was it
to put the benches *wheeze* ten miles apart from one other, anyway?!?
Kogi looked at her and gasped "Fe-Felicia!!" He said after parting from
Lita's mouth,
Tom: Parting saliva is such sweet sorrow....
Felicia still had the furious look and slapped him fiercely on the
face.SLAAP!!.
Tom: I wonder what kind of slap it was?
Joel: Oscar said it was a fierce slap.
Tom: Yeah, but a *Fierce* slap is where Felicia uses two hands. I think
she used a *Strong* slap....
Crow: Maybe it was a *Jab* slap?
Time literaly freezed that moment, Felicia with her strong paw, Kogi/Kuro
hurted by the hit,and Lita Exalted by the scene.
Tom: (imitating Lita singing) Glo-o-o-o-ria!
Crow: Does Oscar have ANY idea what *exalted* means?
Joel: Oscar doesn't even know what *frogned* means.....
"You bastard!!!!" Said Felicia with her teeth clenched and her fist
heavily closed,
Tom: INTENSE....CLENCHING....ACTION!!!
Joel: What, they killed Kenny?
"How could you do this to me Kuro!!!??" Lita gasped "Kuro? but aren't
you Kogi?!" Kogi/Kuro said "i-I can explain!!!" Lita stood up, "Son of a
bitch!!! hya"
Crow: (imitating Lita) take this. and this. and some of this. feel my wrath.
Tom: The quieter they yell, the louder they impact....
She punched him in the nose making it bleed.
Joel: That must have been a *Jab*
That Kogi dude was playing with her feelings, At the same time, but
with diferent names!.
Joel: (imitating Lita) You bastard!! Now I'm going to be mooning over
*TWO* of my old boyfriends!!
Felicia was too Hurted to stay there, she ran off, Lita yelled "FELICIA!
WHERE ARE YOU GOING! WAIT!" , Kuro/Kogi was still hurted for
those 2 hits they made him.
Crow: Oh no! Dr. Thinker's using ESP to invade the fanfic!
Tom: I'd rather read a fanfic by Dr. T than Oscar's any day....
Joel: Come on Tom, it hasn't been all that bad, has it?
Crow: It ain't over yet, Joel....
Lita slapped him one last time and left, walking, Kogi/Kuro was left
there in the bench all alone.
Tom: But he'll make his return later this fall in the upcoming fanfic by
Flashman: *DUO* starting Kogi/Kuro as himself!
Joel: Watch the fun as Kogi lands a date with one of the Dominon
Puma Twins! But which twins are dating whom? Read *DUO* and
find out!
Crow: *DUO* Because three's company but two's a crowd....
Oscar was in his room Watching some recorded Ranma1/2 episodes with
Artemis, when it was 7:33 pm.
Joel: (imitating Oscar) Hmm....90 minutes till I have to go to school....I
think I'll take a nap.
Crow: Oh goodie. I was wondering when we'd get back to Oscar....
Tom: Think those tapes he's watching are fansubs?
when the tape finished, Oscar stood up and stretched, and said
"Artemis....ahummmm i wanna take a walk, And i'm gonna return late
ok? so you don't wait me" Artemis was side layed on the bed, and
smiled at Oscar "Ok," he yawned.
Crow: Side layed?
Joel: Just let it pass, Crow. It's too sick to think about....
Tom: (imitating Artemis) Oh, I won't wait you, Oscar....I'll be too busy
having Mina wait on me....
Crow: Don't you mean....Mina's *weight* on me? Heh heh heh....
Joel: Guys....
Oscar putted on his shirt, jeans, and tennis,
Crow: With all the *putting* that's been going on in this fanfic, you'd think
he'd put on a *golf*.
Tom: Oscar's planning to go all the way at Wimbleton....
he left the house. He was worried about something....something he couldn't
excactly pin down,
Joel: (imitating Oscar) My undies! I forgot them!
Crow and Tom: Joel....
his mind was racing on why he was worried. "Oh...It's been pretty strange
lately" He said to himself as he was in a lonely sidewalk.
Crow: (imitating Oscar) Damn it! I keep forgetting about the wet cement
here!
He turned around the corner, he had his face looking down, and when he
looked straight, there she was Felicia under a lightpost, lonely and sad.
Tom: Jimmy Durante, eat your heart out....
Joel: When did this turn into the boulevard of broken dreams?
Crow: All we need now is some rain....
Tom: To add dramatic effect and deepen the mood?
Crow: No, so the fanfic will be called on account of it....
Oscar tought "Huh? Felicia here?" He got closer and said "Felicia" She
then looked at him, and with a weakly voice said "Oscar....waaahhh"
She began crying, and went ot his side, Oscar hugged her, and parted her
off him by her shoulders "What happened?!" Oscar asked Felicia, worried
about her
Tom: Oscar always did have a soft spot for cats....
Crow: And cats always had a wet spot for....
Joel: Crow!
"Kuro....he...he was with Lita!! waaahh" Oscar gasped "NANI!? i mean
huh?
Joel: (imitating Oscar) Almost let my Japanese accent slip out....
Crow: So he's been talking in English the whole time?
with Lita? i tought Lita had already a boyfriend" Felicia looked at him,
with tears roling down her cheeks
Tom: (imitating Felicia) What? I didn't understand you? Speak Japanese!
"Yes...but...Kuro is Kogi! he played with us all along!!"
Crow: ....for fools, that is.
Joel: (imitating Kuro) A few games of mahjong never hurt anyone....
Oscar turned his face to the side and with a Worried look he tought "Oh
God!"
Tom: You devil?
Crow: (imitating Oscar) Oh God! Now she's going to chase after me
again....DAMN! I HATE BEING SUCH A SEXY HERMAPHRODITE!!!
Felicia still cring said to him "Please...help me..." Oscar looked down to
Felicia "How?"
Joel: (imitating Alien infested woman) KILL ME....KILL....ME....
Crow: Why is he looking down at....oh man! She's on her knees again!?!
She responded "Please...make me forget him.."
Tom: Use the shampoo bottle labeled 911, Felicia!
Crow: No, use Belldandy's mind erasing trick!!
Joel: Bash yourself over the head repeatedly with a hammer and pray
for brain damage!!!
All: JUST DON'T DO WHAT YOU'RE THINKING OF DOING!!!
Oscar gasped "Huh? Are you sure? with me?" Felicia hugged Oscar
softly "Yes...only with you it'll be alright"
Tom: Because, you see, sleeping with another guy as soon as possible
after a break up is the *only* way for a girl to forget him....
Crow: I wonder who's helping Lita forget....?
Joel: In this fic? Probably Freddy....
Oscar gulped and closed his eyes
Joel: Well, thank goddess for Oscar's eternal devotion to Artemis or he
might have taken advantage of poor Felicia....
"Very well then..." Felicia weakly smiled as she parted from Oscar.
Joel: NANI!?!?!
Crow: So much for staying true to the one you love....
Tom: In the end, Oscar chose one pussy over another....
Joel: That's it! I officially *HATE* Oscar now! I hate him!
Crow: Welcome to the club, Joel....
Oscar walked Felicia home, when they arrived, Felicia got off her
clothes, and was only in her remaining fur. Oscar went-wide eyed,
Tom: (imitating Oscar) She reminds me of my old boyfriend!
after they got ot her room, they sat on the bed. Felicia was a little
nervous, but all of her stress went off, as Oscar caressed her hair,
Joel: (imitating Oscar) Oh, Shampoo...UH, I mean Felicia!
Crow: Exactly *where* was the hair that Oscar was caressing?
Joel: Crow....
Felicia layed on the bed. He looked her straight in the eyes, as Oscar
got closer and kissed her passionately, she felt completely absorved by
the kiss, she never felt this good on her life.
Tom: At least until she discovers catnip.
Crow: I'm pretty sure if she did it with another woman, it would be even better.
Tom: How about the Dominion Puma Twins? Now *THAT* would be a hell
of a lemon!
Joel: Tom....
Oscar's right hand went south caressing all of Felicia's part along the way,
and reached her pussy, her nipples hardened instantly and were visible, He
began stroking her pussy.
Crow: Hey, he's stroking a pussy's pussy!
Joel: Crow....
Tom: Are you going to keep repeating our names during this scene, Joel?
He then parted from Felicia's mouth, as he now started licking her large firm
breasts, while massaging them with his left hand, he kept stroking her wet
virgin pussy, and Felicia moaned and her breathing came in short gasps,
with her eyes closed.
Tom: (imitating Felicia) Tell me when it's over!
Oscar kept licking her chest, in little circles and reaching her right
nipple, while a thumb was teasing her left nipple, she let out a loud
moan "Ahhh...Ughhmmm"
Crow: She sounds like she's about to puke....
Her pussy was letting out her juice, and Oscar's fingers where being
soaked by them, he easily darted his finger into her, teasing her pink
swollen clit. Felicia moaned louder, her aching tits heaving,
Tom: Her breasts finally lost their lunch....
Joel: Can you blame them after being licked by Oscar?
Oscar then went to her crotch, took his finger out and started to lick
her outer cunt lips, and eventually worked on into her inner lips.
Crow: This is sickening! I can't take much more of this!
Joel: At least it's not Artemis this time....
Tom: It's still an ego trip, Joel....
Her warm juice was filling Oscar's mouth, while he flickered her clit
with his tounge,
Crow: He flickered and lickered it....
Tom: This is no time for *Games* Crow....
she was now spasming, breathing rapidly. Oscar smiled, suddenly Felicia
sat, and grabbed Oscar by his shirt, unbuttoning it, and taking it off. Oscar
didn't do nothing to stop her.
Crow: Then he must have done *something* to stop her.
Tom: Oscar using a double negative? Say it ain't so....
Joel: What about his Tennis? Does he keep that on when he makes love?
She then unbuttoned his jeans, pulling them down and revealing unly a
white undie wich was wet in the 2 genital parts area. Felicia shredded
Oscar's undies, he blushed as he saw his rock hard cock up, and his
pussy, all wet and pink
Tom: ARRRRRRRRGH!!! (Tom's head explodes once more)
Crow: SPEW!!! THAT'S IT! WE'RE CLOSING OUR EYES!!!
Joel: You're probably right. If anyone *REALLY* wants to see the rest
of the lemon scene, they can visit his website.
Crow: Yeah, I'm sure they'll be burning up the phone lines, Joel....
(Joel and the bots close their eyes. After a little while, Joel risks a
look....)
Joel: Okay, it's over guys.
(Tom regains finally consciousness, his broken head smoking and
blackened with soot. He coughs a few times.)
Tom: (Imitating Terminator) I need a vacation....
Felicia fell on the bed exhausted, and Oscar layed on her side, gasping for air,
Crow: (imitating Lloyd Bridges) By this time my lungs were aching for air!
Joel: Felicia's breasts must be experiencing dry heaves by now....
barely staying awake, flat on their backs. "Felicia.....that was marvelous,
you were purrfect" Oscar said still exhausted,
Joel: (imitating Oscar) I wrote that!
"Thanks dear Oscie..." Felicia responded. Oscar then said "But, i can't
stay...remember that you must never give up, you'll find your true blue
prince someday..."
All: (singing) SOMEDAY....SOMEWHERE....SOMEHOW!!!
Felicia weakly smiled "Ok...Thanks" She eventually fell asleep. Oscar
got up, after Felicia fell asleep, he putted on his clothes again,
Joel: (singing) Putt Putt for the fun of it! Putt Putt for the fun of it....
Crow: The heck with Pebble Beach! Oscar's clothes is the best golf course!
Tom: Maybe Oscar's undies are full of holes?
Crow: Ick!
and left. Oscar knew that Artemis would notice Felicia's scent and know
what happened, So he got an idea. He went into some alleys and fought
fierce street dogs,
Crow: Wha?!?!
Tom: Ladies and Gentlemen, we've just broken the goofy meter!
Joel: Fortunately, Oscar lived within walking distance of Jim Henson's
Dog City....
so he could get their scent and disipate Felicia's scence.
Tom: Scence? Sense? Seance?
Joel: Maybe it's scene?
Crow: This being a self-insertion fic, Oscar removed all traces of his sordid
lemon scene with Felicia, enabling him to take Felicia's virginity over and
over and over again....
Joel: Crow....
"Alright!" He said as he left a pile of dead dogs in an alley.
Crow: The 101 Dalmatians were in the wrong place at the wrong time....
Tom: Oscar makes Cruella look like Snow White!
Joel: Too bad Oscar didn't tangle with the Fierce Street Frogs. Dr. Slick could
have kicked his ass without breaking a sweat....
He got home, and when he opened the door, Artemis was asleep. He
woke up to the smell of something disguisting "Eeww what reeks?" he
asked to himself,
Tom: (imitating Artemis) Uh oh....Did I forget to let Mina out of the
closet?
then Oscar entered the room all soiled and stniky
Joel: Maybe he fought some pigs and cows on the way home too?
Crow: No, I think that's his normal appearance....
"Oh man! what happened?" Asked Artemis still covering his nose
"Agh i had a little fight with some alley dogs, and you know that they
reek"
Joel: Oh yeah, you should smell the dogs after they tangled with Oscar....
Tom: (imitating Artemis) So you just decided to randomly attack some
dogs for the hell of it? Okay, that makes perfect sense....
Artemis said "Ok, but take a shower would you?!" Oscar inmediately
got to the bathroom, and putted the soiled clothes on the Laundry
machine.
All: FORE!
Artemis doze off to sleep again, as Oscar finished his shower, and went
with Artemis to sleep. The next monday, Everyone was walking to school,
Joel: (imitating Gary Shandling) Okay, another week has just passed....
Lita was still a little depressed for what happened on Saturday,
Crow: (imitating Lita) I can't believe I slept with Freddy last night....What
was I thinking!?!
but Felicia was smiling lightly. Oscar looked at Felicia and tought
"Guess she alreday forgot about the heart break that Kuro left her"
Joel: Actually she's happy because Oscar removed all traces of their lemon
scene....
Crow: I wish it were that easy for us....
They all went to school, as another day begun.
Tom: And as long as Oscar's writing this, he'll continue to have fun....
THE END.....FOR NOW!!
Crow: Oh, man! We did it! We survived Oscar for a second time....
Joel: I told you we could do it! All for one and one for all!
Tom: Easy for you to say, Joel. *You* didn't lose another two heads!
Joel: Relax, I can fix you up again in no time....
Well, sorry if i did 2 pages, but the first one couldn't resist all of the
storie so i had to do it in 2 pages....
Tom: And we had to MST it in 2 parts....That was a dirty trick, Dr. F!
Crow: The first one tried so hard to resist Oscar's fanfic but it was
overwhelmed....
sorry if i distracted you in the sex scene....
Joel: *Distracted* isn't the word I would have chosen, Oscar....
Crow: I can think of a dozen I could rattle off right now....
i tryed to spell check no promises! ^_^
Joel: Is that a promise?
Crow: (imitating Yoda) Tryed?! Do or do not! There is no tryed!
Tom: Get us out of here, Chewy....
* * *
SATELLITE OF LOVE
"So, honestly guys, what did you think of the fanfic?" Joel asked.
Tom thought about it for a moment before replying. "Well, it was
a better effort than the original draft of "Artemis Lover" and it was a HUGE
relief that Oscar didn't include another sickening bestiality scene. But it
was still pretty bad, IMHO....
"Just look at the plot, Joel!" Crow spoke up. "Felicia falls in love
with Oscar, Lita and Felicia are two-timed by another guy, and Felicia sleeps
with Oscar! The end! Not to mention all the time during the fic when Oscar
stroked his own colossal ego....among other things."
"What did YOU think of the story, Joel!" Tom suddenly inquired.
"Actually, this fanfic reminded me of that Fusion Dragonball Z
movie." Joel remarked. The one where Goku and Vegita fuse together to
form Gojita. The entire movie was nothing but build up and at the end...the
final scene lasted a few seconds and that was it. I will agree with Tom that
the lack of bestiality scenes helped a great deal...." Joel added.
"Yeah...." Crow stretched out his arms as he yawned. "Well
guys, I don't know about you, but I'm beat. Those Oscarfics really take it
out of me. I'm going to take a nap. What are you guys gonna do?"
"I have to fix Tom and then I'll probably work on next week's
invention, so you go ahead Crow." Joel replied as he walked down the hall
towards Tom's room to retrieve another one of the bubbleheads required to
repair the robot....
* * *
DEEP 13
"A nap sounds good about now...." Frank remarked as his head
remained decapitated on the floor, his body at the far end of the room.
Dr. Forrester-Chan had left him stranded there for the night, having left
after beginning the experiment.
"This isn't how I planned to get *ahead* in life...." Frank sighed
as he closed his eyes and used his teeth and tongue to pull the dish towel,
that Dr. Forrester-Chan had been kind enough to give him for a blanket,
up to his nose and soon drifted off to sleep....
THE REAL END.
(Feel free to hum the closing theme as you read my author's notes.)
IT'S DONE! Oh, man! When I found out about Oscar's birthday a week
ago, I knew I had to do something to celebrate the occasion but it's not
easy turning a 9 page single space story into a 80 page MSTing. I
separated it into two parts to give the reader a chance to take a break if
they wanted and read the second part later.
I hope you liked this story because there's a lot more coming for 1998.
I hope to tackle another lemon or two, The Satellite of Hate will make
a reappearance, Dr. Thinker will also be featured again this year and
they'll be plenty of humorous skits and inventions among them. ;)
I'd like to give very special thanks to Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong, Robin
"Lunari" Seabaugh, and Gary Kleppe who were all very helpful in
giving me C&C and ideas for this MSTing. I couldn't have finished
this MSTing in a week's time without their help and I can't thank
them enough. :)
I'd also like to thank Timothy McLees, Luna and Artemis, Chris
Bergstrom, Jay Dee Archer (Jupiter Knight), Michael K. Neylon and
Sakura for being nice enough to post my MSTings on their webpages. If
there's anyone else I missed, I apologize.
Finally I'd like to wish Oscar a happy birthday and thank him for writing
"That Girl" and giving me a lot of material to work with. I hope you're
not too offended. If you are, feel free to MST my own works, I won't mind
a bit.
C&C, as always, is appreciated. (fcasper@yesic.com) Feel free to
send in any anime fanfics that you would like to see MSTed and I'll take
a look at it. Also, if you're interested in seeing any previous episodes
of this series, I'll be happy to e-mail them to you. ;)
Sincerely,
Megane 6.7
P.S. If you haven't had a chance yet, my friend Lunari has just released
a SM fic titled "Dying Fire" featuring Lita. It is a wonderful story and
if you are interested in reading it, contact her at lunari@sprynet.com
and I'm sure she'll be happy to send a copy to you. :)
Tenchi's Vault of Anime MSTings
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/4007/MSTings.html
(Home of my MSTings and the MSTings of many other talented authors.)
The Official Homepage of Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong
http://www.isc.rit.edu/~jkw7063/fanfic/index.htm
(Author of the popular "Usagi's Usual Morning" series and a great human being.)
Gary Kleppe's Comics and Manga Page
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics
(Another author with a vast selection of Ranma 1/2 fanfics and a great human being.)
Jupiter Knight's Great Sailor Moon Fanfic Archive
http://www.dragonfire.net/~JupiterKnight/fanfics.htm
(A great source of Sailor Moon Fanfics.)
Zen's Fanfiction Page
http://www.mindspring.com/~databank/fanfics.html
(One of the most controversial fanfic writers today and one of my favorites.)
The New Luna and Artemis Central Command
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/9897/
(The source of some of my MSTings and updated weekly with new fics.)
Sakura's Lemon Fan-Fiction Archive
http://anime.muck.com/~sakura/main.html
(Ever growing collection of Lemon Fanfiction from all walks of Anime.)
Website Number 9 MSTings
http://neylonpc.engin.umich.edu/mst3k/mistings.shtml
(Huge collection of MSTings, Anime and Non-Anime.)
Oscar's Sailormoon Z and Hentai Fanfics, Archive Page
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/3272/
(Proceed at your own risk....)
SEASON ONE
------------------
101- "GAMES" by Artemis (SM Lemon)
102- "ARTEMIS'S LOVER" (Original Draft) by Oscar (SM Lemon)
103- "SAILOR JUPITER VS. GODZILLA" by The Flashman
(SM/GODZILLA CROSSOVER)
104- "JUDGE BRAINITITE" by Dr. Thinker (SM Fanfic)
w/short "RANMA 1/2: ACCUSED PT. 1" by Karmin (R1/2 Fanfic)
105- "THE WAR" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic)
106- "TRANSITIONS" by Richard Lawson (Nuku Nuku Fanfic)
107- "HELLRAISERS" (Original Draft) by Aaron Eaton
(La Blue Girl/Overfiend/Original Crossover)
108- "MEN OF BOKKEN" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic)
109- "BISHOUJO SENSHI ROYAL RUMBLE" by Ken Hoinsky
(SM/WWF Crossover)
w/short "THE DINNER PARTY" by Chris Curzon (SM/RL Crossover)
110- "XMAS SPECIAL: SAILOR MOON MEETS FATHER CHRISTMAS"
by Dr. Thinker (SM Christmas Fanfic
"How could you do this to me Kuro!!!??" Lita gasped "Kuro? but aren't
you Kogi?!" Kogi/Kuro said "i-I can explain!!!" Lita stood up, "Son of a
bitch!!! hya"
Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations
are trademarks of and (c) 1994 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights
reserved.
Keep Circulating the Fanfics....