CHAPTER THREE

	The Book slipped from Ataru's mortified grasp and fell to the floor. 
Things were definitely going downhill.  Not only did the two girls it
had selected turn out to be less than stable, but their friends were
over the edge as well.
	It forced itself to relax.  There was nothing to worry about, really. 
It was the Book, after all - while the ones inside it could change the
story, the readers were powerless.
	Ataru had said nothing more, while around him the others made jokes
about his predicament.
	"It's about time you got caught like that, Moroboshi!"  That was the
sexy voice again.  "No longer will you be a menace to the ladies of this
town."
	"Hai, Sakura-san.  I don't think forcing him like that is the best
thing, but if it'll get him off my back... gambatte, Lum-chan!"
	"Moroboshi."  The other young man's voice.  "It seems I am powerless to
prevent Lum-san from this disastrous course of action.  So, in that
case... Yatta!  Everyone's invited to free ramen and taiyaki
afterwards!"
	The Book sighed silently.  And then this nightmare would finally be
over...
	The voices stopped as there was a rustling of cloth - Ataru had stood
up.  "I'm going in."
	.....
	What?
	"Nani yo, aho?  It's a book - you can't get into it."
	"Lum did it, Ten, and so can I."
	No... he didn't mean... no, he couldn't possibly...
	"How do you intend to do that, Ataru-kun?"
	He wouldn't DARE.  It was the Book, THE Book.  It was unthinkable that
someone might even consider...
	"It's just a book - I'm going to write myself in."
	The Book was suddenly terrified.  In its creation, nobody had
considered that someone would try to rewrite its contents.  It was
assumed that anyone who tried would consider the potential consequences
of such an action, particularly what would happen to the people inside.
	In other words, its creators never considered a Moroboshi Ataru.

	A subtle change rippled over the land.  Most people didn't even notice
it - there were only two places that were actually affected.  The first
was a small farm not far from Konan City - instead of one old man and a
cluster of children, it was now inhabited by a rather dejected-looking
husband and wife, who toiled endlessly and despaired over the state of
their son.
	The other was the Imperial Court.
	Lum blinked and turned around.  "Minna!"
	A figure in a blue kimono crossed his arms and smirked triumphantly at
her.  "Thought you could defy me, did you?  If you want to be my wife,
you have to learn obedience!"
	She giggled suddenly.  "Darling, you look so cute with that mark on
your forehead."
	"Hmm?"  He pulled out a mirror.  "Aaaa!  My perfect face is ruined!"
	The emperor was likewise inspecting a mark on his own neck.  "You had
little to ruin.  Whereas I, fortunately, retain my manly appearance."
	The change was complete.  Instead of the original Seishi, there was
now...
	...Tamaboshi, beloved of Suzaku no Miko yet driven by an overpowering
obsession.
	...Shutarohori, a sword-wielding and attractive man of authority.
	...Shinobiko, an incredibly strong person who acted like one of the
opposite gender.
	("HEY! Why do I have to be this one?"
	"Because Ryuunosuke isn't here!  It's either this one, or Soi - your
choice."
	"Mou...")
	...Chicherry, a bizarre mystic with a tendency to pop out of strange
places.
	...Mitsukura, a tall healer with arcane powers.
	...and Tensuki, a flame-throwing brat.
	Lum grinned.  "Yokatta!  I'm glad to see you."  She blinked.  "Ano...
aren't there supposed to be seven of you?"
	Mitsukura coughed.  "That's being taken care of."  She glanced over to
the corner, where Chiriko and Tamaboshi were talking.
	"Want a lollipop, kid?"
	"Wow!  Thanks, mister!"
	"Oops!  Looks like I dropped it."
	"I'll get it!  I'll just... ACK!"
	Tamaboshi kicked Chiriko in the rear, propelling the boy forward into a
closet which was quickly closed and locked.  The nouveau-Seishi picked
up the lollipop and walked away smugly.  "The good big one always beats
the rotten little one."
	"Nobody will miss him, anyway."  Shutarohori looked around.  "Well, if
we want those wishes, we have to go to Kutou and get Suzaku's Four Gods'
Earth and Sky."  He reached into his robe and pulled out a cellular
phone, opening it crisply.  "I'll call a coach up to the front gates
right away."
	Lum jumped forward and threw her arms around Tamaboshi's neck. 
"Darling!  You were worried about me!"
	He opened his mouth angrily, then seemed to think better of it. 
"Lum... you know I couldn't bear to live without you.  The thought of
you being in danger was more than I could stand."
	"I'm so happy that you said that!"  She pulled him tighter, and
whispered in his ear.  "But I'm still making that wish."
	He started to reply angrily... and Konan got its first taste of indoor
electric lighting.  Or lightning.  One of the two.

	Meanwhile, in Kutou...
	"Hey!  What about me?!  I'm all alone in here!"
	Nakago smiled, just the tiniest bit.  She must be insane.  He could use
that.  "But you're not alone.  I..."
	"Oh, shut up!"
	*Sorry, Ran-chan... nobody wanted to be on your side.  We can tell that
you're with the bad guys, and they always lose.*
	"Hidoi!  I just want one person to talk to that's not a moron!"
	*Well... I don't know about that second part, but... here you go.*
	Slowly Nakago began to fade from sight.  He noticed this, and smiled
slightly.  "How novel."  He maintained that expression for about five
seconds, then burst into sobbing tears.  "I don't wanna go like this!  I
still have evil things to do!  Mommy!  Mo..."  And he was gone.  And not
a moment too soon.
	Ran's face lit up as she saw who was taking his place.  "Yokatta!"
	The general hadn't changed much in appearance, except that his armor
was now tiger-stripe orange instead of blue, and his hair was jet
black.  He pointed at a nearby servant.  "Food."  The slave nodded and
bowed out, quickly returning with a huge pile of delicacies.  Reikago
started to dig in, then glared at the servant.  "More."
	Ran smiled happily.  "Rei-sama!  I'm so..."
	There was a patter of feet, and abruptly a woman in really tacky
clothes arrived, blushing girlishly.  "Reikago-samaaaa... can I raise
your chi for you?  Onegai?  Onegai?"
	She disappeared under a pile of masonry as Ran hit her with the
business end of a column... which is to say, all of it.  "Slut."
	"Reikago-samaaaa..."  Ran whirled to see a tall man with face paint
blushing boyishly next to the all-devouring form of Reikago.  "Do you
maybe have a fantasy you'd like me to create for you?  Onegai?  Onegai?"
	*WHAM!* Ran floored the illusionist with a long candleholder.  "The
next person who bothers my Rei-sama gets it!  Understand?"  There was a
general disappointed agreement.
	("Hey, there's nothing in here about Toma being... that way."
	"Yeah, but he annoyed me.  Anyway, he's evil."
	"Good enough.")

	And so the Suzaku Seishi (revised) set out toward Kutou to recover the
Four Gods' Earth and Sky from the clutches of Reikago's own band of
Seishi (minus two, and counting).  Would Ran finally get revenge on the
oni-girl?  Would Lum be able to wish for Tamaboshi's eternal love? 
Would...
	Oh, who cares anymore?  I'm just the voice of the Book - why should I
even bother?  It's not like anyone listens to me anyway, noooo, they
just revise things anyway they want, like I don't know what's best for
them...