"Thomas Schmidt" <Tschmidt@mailgate.tcon.net> wrote:

This is a good a time to talk about this as any, I guess.  I 
dunno...somehow it seems wrong to give Nabiki the sort of conscience 
she has here.  I would expect her to condemn striking workers for not 
having the skills to compete, not feel sorry for them.

There've been all sorts of fanfic characterizations of Nabiki. In some
stories she has a heart of gold, working behind the scene for the
benefit of her family, while in others she'd sell them for food scraps
at the first opportunity. Fandom also seems to be of mixed opinions
about her. I know some R 1/2 fans who love Nabiki, and others who hate
her, and both camps include people who I consider to be very
knowledgable and insightful about the series.

So which is the real Nabiki? Personally, I don't really believe that
there's any canonical answer to that question. We don't really know what
she would do if she had a chance to make big money but it required
really hurting someone. The way I'm portraying her here is simply one
that works in the story I'm trying to tell, and is (I think) a fresh
approach -- a Nabby who wants to do the right thing but whose strategy
is fundamentally flawed.

BTW, I couldn't see a "bad" Nabiki condemning striking workers for not
having the skills to compete. "Bad" Nabiki wouldn't need the
rationalization. IMO, it would be more like: They're getting screwed.
What a shame. Isn't life a bitch. Let's see, where should I go for
dinner?

"Oh, come on, it'll be fun! Remember when you were a little
girl? You always wanted to do something like this!"

This seems to imply that they never once went on a picnic in the more 
than a decade intervening.  Is that what you meant?

Uh, no. I'll add a Nabiki line indicating that they have done this
before. Of course Kasumi knows why this time's going to be different...

It's interesting how the Tendo sisters' personalities are almost 
always presented as a reaction to the loss of their mother.  If she 
hadn't died, the thought goes, they would have been very different.  
While this certainly makes a lot of sense, isn't it also possible 
that they would have been the same no matter what?  

It's certainly possible, and in this series I did postulate a different
reason for Akane's hatred of boys. With Kasumi, I think it's pretty much
certain that Mom's death changed her life by putting her in the position
of having to take over Mom's job. As for Nabiki, who knows?

	Nabiki ate more of the food, deciding there would be no point in
asking how Kasumi got into her apartment.

I would expect Kasumi to be polite enough to ask before entering.

I'll think about this. As I understand it, the rules of privacy aren't
as strong in Asian cultures as they are here.

This whole sequence works fairly well, giving a good impression of 
Kasumi's astral experiences.  Especially the part about teriyaki 
sauce.

Glad you liked it; this scene took a hell of a long time to write.

Shouldn't "states" be capitalized?

Oh yeah.

	The professor cleared his throat. "Um, yes, that's a very
relevant point. Thank you." The other students spoke to each other in
confused murmurs. Some of them asked whether this would be on the test.

That last line rings very true.  I know people just like that.

You're not in college yet. Take university physics; you might find a
*few* people in the class who *aren't* like that. :-PPPPP

Though I expect if she had been willing to give it an honest go, she 
could have found something new and fascinating in another subject 
area.  Going into college with goals as well-defined as hers is 
probably both a good and a bad thing.  

True.

Yes!  Liberal pro-union propaganda! Though if I didn't agree with 
you, I might find it a bit irritating.

Wasn't intended as such, but author biases will show themselves, I
guess. The idea behind this scene was that it was Nabsy's first time to
do something that really caused some serious harm. It's like the first
time a criminal ends up killing someone, when he starts to think that
maybe the victim had a family, and maybe they didn't deserve to see
Daddy die, and maybe they'd hunt him down for revenge, and maybe killing
was a sin and he'd be sent to Hell.... The second time, it would be
easier.

<Gary notices the looks the FFML readers are giving him>

Um... or so I've read.

Actually, you all need not worry; The only way I attack people is with
satire. :-)

Her rationalization seems to be as much about what would have caused 
hardship to her as what would have hurt anyone else.  

True.

. Above, an orchestra of birds chirped out a delightful symphony.

I've only read that metaphor about a million times before.  

Will get rid of or change it. (Yer lucky I didn't follow my natural
impulse and just say "Kasumi was walking in the woods.") :-)

Hmm...I wonder how much of an accent Nabiki has at this point.  I 
imagine she would pick up other languages fairly quickly.

Dunno, probably not much of one if any at all.

Kasumi is channeling for her mother's spirit during this scene, 
right?  Somehow I managed to miss that the first time I read the fic, 
too.

Yep. ^_^

I really liked this one, Gary.  It's probably my favorite of all the 
preludes so far. The writing was about average for you, which is 
pretty good.  It doesn't have a dramatic resolution like, say, 
Ryouga's, and it's much more predictable than some of the others, but 
it's a lot deeper, too.  While I'm still not sure I agree with your 
presentation of Nabiki, you make her a very real person, and her 
problems are very affecting.  Kasumi kind of got the shaft as far as 
screen time, but that's not exactly unusual.  

Thanks! I greatly appreciate the compliments and the insightful C&C.

Personally, I hope Nabiki never understands.

Can't promise you she won't, but we'll see.


Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics