Subject: [FFML] [EVA] Neon Genesis Evangelion: Beyond Terminal Veliocity 2
From: "Benjamin McCrillis" <akun16@hotmail.com>
Date: 2/18/1998, 9:45 PM
To: akun15@hotmail.com
CC: fanfic@fanfic.com

Well, enough prompting came back to convince her to let me send out part 
2.  Oh, and she'd also like to apologize for the number of bathroom 
jokes in the last one.  She was a bit pissed at her sloppy little 
brother at the time.  Let's just say he loves to sing "Beans, beans, the 
musical fruit-" with added sound effects.  BLEAH!  Even I pitty her.  
And if anyone's curious as to who the heck the other people at the end 
of the Omake were in the last one (and this one), here's a small list of 
those we're involved with (IN MAKING FANFICS, YOU PERVERTS!)

A-kun - That's ME!

A-chan - My sister.  Perverted to no ends.  She'd give Urd a run for her 
money.  As well as the Overfiend, the cast of La Blue Girl and quite a 
few other series.

TharzZzDunN - Ah, Tharzy.  He lives up to the name "Mad God".

????? - The author of the fic and a close friend of mine.

Huh? - A dramatic sort.  He loves drama and helped with some of the more 
dramatic parts of this.

C-chan - A Kasumi-sort, but with the mentality of Kasumi in 
"Appearances".  We fear for our lives, but fear even more what she might 
do to us if we ignored her.

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Beyond Terminal Velocity
Chapter 2 - Got That Sinking Feeling
By ?????
--------------

A Thesis Of The Cruel Angel

	Like an angel that has no sense of mercy...
	[Caption: A collage of fifty-two angels. AAAAAAH!!!]

	Rise, young boy, to the heavens like a legend.
	[Caption: Eva-01 standing on a hillside looking at the
rolling country side as wind blows the grass around it. FWEEEE!  
FWEEEEEE!  God, Shinji!  Go to the bathroom before the credits next 
time!]



	[Neon Genesis Evagelion: Beyond Terminal Veliocity]



	Cold winds, as blue as the sea,
	[Caption: Rei standing at a window, looking out at some
unknown person.  The unknown person is Asuka and she's mooning Rei.  Rei 
is unfazed, except for the growing smile on her face.]

	Tear open the door to your heart, I see.
	[Caption: Asuka crying as Shinji reaches to comfort
her.  But, first Shinji has to put the can of beans down.]

	But unknowing you seem, just staring at me...
	[Caption: Mack staring blankly at Ritsuko as she
attempts to explain the situation of the city.]

	Standing there smiling serenely.
	[Caption: Shinji smiling as he walks with Toji and
Kensuke.  Shinji [thinking]: Thank god the wind is blowing in the 
opposite direction.]

	Desperate, for something to touch...
	[Caption: Rei on a bed.  She looks rather depressed.  Rei [thinking]: 
I'm not getting paid enough for this.]

	A moment of kindness like that in a dream.
	[Caption: Eva-03 stepping in front of Eva-02.  Eva-03's pilot: It's 
your turn to deal!]

	Your innocent eyes, have yet no idea...
	[Caption: Asuka smiling.  Asuka [thinking]: Shinji'll never find out 
what I did in his bed!  Or at least not until he rolls over the wet 
spot!]

	Of the path your destiny will follow.
	[Caption: The Eva-01 with energy wings of sorts.  Then, Tenchi Masaki 
takes his cardboard cut-outs of the Light Hawk Wings back.]

	But someday you'll become aware of...
	[Caption: Rei looking shocked as she looks at Mack
stepping out of a bath. Mack looks just as startled.]

	Everything that you've got behind you.
	[Caption: Brief flashes of Gendo, Mack, Ritsuko, John Travolta, Misato, 
Sailor Uranus, Rei, Crono from Crono Trigger, The San Fransisco 49ers, 
The starting line-up for the 1976 Philadelphia Flyers.]

	Your wings are seeking out a new...
	[Caption: Mack and Rei riding a roller coaster as it
reaches the peak of one of it's heights and prepares to
dive.  Mack and Rei wet themselves.]

	Future that only you can search for.
	[Caption: Numerous Angels flashing the camera.  You grow nauseous.]

	The Cruel Angel's Thesis enters through the window of
your soul.
	[Caption: A giant Eva-like mech attacking Eva-01.  Eva-01 rolls its' 
eyes (quite amazing since they're solid yellow) and promptly tears the 
Power Rangers' Zords to pieces.]

	If you should betray the chapel of your memories.
	[Caption: Asuka lifting a gun at a person in the
shadows.  Kaji wets himself.  Again.]

	The Cruel Angel's Thesis bleeds through a portal Like
your pulsing blood.
	[Caption: Eva-00 and Eva-01 entering beserker mode at
the same time.  Eva-00 and Eva-01: PACKERS!!!!!!!]

	So, boy, stand tall and embrace the fire of the legend,
	[Caption: Four Evas stand on a hill with their pilots
perched on their shoulders.  Evas: DAMMIT, TELL US next time you have to 
go!  Shinji [whining]: How come Asuka always gets the most distance?]

	Embracing the universe like a blazing star!
	[Caption: An explosion which engulfs all of Tokyo 3.  Gendo Ikari 
swears never to eat beans ever again.]

--------------

	"Wow!  I never thought I'd ever get to be on one of these babies!" 
Kensuke said, getting hyperactive as the helicopter flew out to sea.
	"So, where are we going?" Shinji asked.
	"We're just going to visit a little boat of mine." Misato said, 
winking.
	The clouds cleared and revealed the entire UN fleet.
	"OH MY GOD!!  IT'S THE ENTIRE UNITED NATIONS BATTLE FLEET!!  
1..2..3..4..5.6.7.8..9..14 BATTLE SHIPS AND 4 SUPER-CARRIERS!!!" Kensuke 
exclaimed.
	As the four landed on the flagship/super-carrier, Kensuke was almost 
hyperventilating, Toji was attempting to retrieve his hat, Shinji was 
yawning and Misato was sighing deeply.
	"HEY!  CATCH MY HAT!!  STOP IT!!" Toji cried, desperately seeking to 
catch his hat before it *GASP* flew off the deck and into the ocean.
	It came to rest at a girl's shoe. Toji relaxed and reached for it.  The 
foot moved and stomped on the hat.
	"Hello, Misato." The owner of the foot said, ignoring Toji cries of 
anguish.
	"Hello Asuka.  You've certainly grown taller since the last time I saw 
you." Misato replied.
	"And my figure's filled out too." Asuka said, displaying her assets as 
Toji managed to wiggle his hat free from underneath Asuka's foot.
	Just then, the wind picked up, blowing Asuka's skirt up.  Toji stared 
while Kensuke zoomed in.  *SMACK* *SMACK*
	"HEY!!  WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!!?" Toji growled.
	"Consider it the viewing fee. What do you think?" Asuka asked, smiling.
	"It's overpriced, so here's your change!" Toji said, pulling down his 
pants and boxers.
	Shinji and Kensuke turned away as Misato attempted to make herself 
invisible.  *SMACK*  Toji, now with his pants up and two slap marks on 
his cheeks, watched as Asuka calmly walked past him.
	"Shinji Ikari, meet-" Misato began.
	"Asuka Langely Soryu." Asuka replied.
	"Asuka, this is Shinji Ikari.  The pilot of Unit 1." Misato said.
	"Hi.  Nice to meet..." Shinji's voice trailed off.
	"Hmmmm, not much to look at." Asuka said.
	"Misato, I have to know.  Is she the descendant of Forest Gump?" Shinji 
asked.
	*SMACK*
	"Violence is your answer to everything, right?" Shinji asked.
	Asuka stared at him with pure female fury burning in her eyes.  Shinji 
didn't even flinch.  Asuka, realizing that Shinji was prodding her, 
turned and left.
	"MAN!  She's sure full of herself." Kensuke said, rubbing his still 
sore cheek.
	[I'm in love...] Shinji thought.

	"Admiral Perry, greetings." Misato said.
	"Major Katsuragi, what do I owe to this visit?" Admiral Perry asked.
	"I merely wanted to give you the specifications on the Eva's energy 
needs." Misato said, handing the Admiral a few sheets.
	"Right.  Take these to the ship engineers.  Make sure they know how 
much energy the Eva's need." The Admiral said.
	"But sir, isn't this a bit ridiculous?  Why in heaven's name would we 
have to activate THAT monstrosity?" Lt. Commander Brigs asked.
	"Why would it require the whole UN battle fleet to guard it?  It's 
important to be ready for anything.  Whether it's a submarine attack, 
another fleet or even an angel, we have to be ready to do whatever it 
takes to defend mankind's last defence." Admiral Perry replied.
	Lt. Commander Brigs nodded and scampered off.  Yes, scampered.
	"Kent, Lane!  Show our guests to the mess hall." Admiral Perry ordered.
	Clark Kent and Lois Lane lead the miniature team down to the mess hall 
just before Ryoji Kaji arrived on the bridge.
	"I noticed some guests.  Where are they?" Ryoji asked.
	"They went down to the mess hall." A random officer told Ryoji.
	"And in the future, Mr. Kaji, I would like it if you did not come onto 
the bridge." The Admiral said, his voice as cold as the artic.
	Ryoji shrugged off the chill and left.

	Ryoji arrived in the mess just as Kent and Lane left.
	"Hi there, beautiful." Ryoji said.
	"KAJI!!!" Misato and Asuka said, each in their own manner.  Misato's 
voice was filled with disgusted startlement while Asuka's was full of 
puppy love.
	Ryoji sat down at the table across from Misato.  He turned to Shinji.
	"So, you're the famous third child, Shinji Ikari." Ryoji guessed.
	"Yes I am." Shinji replied.
	"Tell me, is Misato still...an animal in bed?" Ryoji asked.
	Misato, Asuka, Toji and Kensuke all turned blue.
	"I wouldn't know." Shinji replied with a voice as cold as the Admiral's 
had been.
	Ryoji mildly wondered what it was about himself that made him such a 
despised man.
	"WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!?!" Misato growled.
	"Ah, as I thought.  She hasn't changed a bit." Ryoji said.
	Misato slumped her head into her hands and tried to wish that Ryoji had 
NOT said that.

	Asuka and Ryoji stood on a balcony.
	"So, are you jealous?" Ryoji asked.
	"Of you and Misato or of Shinji?" Asuka asked.
	"Of Shinji.  I know you're jealous of me and Misato." Ryoji replied.
	Asuka narrowed her eyes slightly.
	"He's not much to look at.  It's amazing that he can even PILOT an 
Eva." Asuka huffed.
	"And yet, his syncho-ratio for his first time piloting was higher than 
your starting synch-ratio by twenty points." Ryoji pointed out.
	Asuka started.  She hadn't expected him capable of THAT.  After all, he 
looked rather wimpy.

	Kensuke, Misato, Shinji and Toji were riding up the escalator.
	"So....um, Mr. Kaji is....um, rather interesting." Shinji said.
	"He hasn't changed a bit, the JERK!" Misato growled.
	Toji and Kensuke were both plotting the death of Mr. Kaji.
	"Hey Third Child." Asuka said at the top of the escalator.
	Shinji looked up at her.
	"It's time to see who's the best." Asuka said, narrowing her eyes at 
him.
	"Huh?" Shinji asked.

	Meanwhile, at NERV HQ, Gendo, Fuyutsuki and Ritsuko were all plugging 
their ears as Mr. and Mrs. Davis made their displeasure known in 
decibels.
	Mack, on the other hand, had ear-plugs and was quietly reading a book.  
'War and Peace' was the title.  He had started it when his aunt and 
uncle began their rantings.  He was currently on the last page.
	Next to him was another chair that was holding another book 'Final 
Exit'.  He sighed and closed 'War and Peace' and picked up 'Final Exit'.
	[Yeesh, I knew how that other book was going to end by the end of page 
11.] Mack thought.

	Asuka lifted the sheet covering Eva-02.
	"Huh. I didn't know it was red." Shinji commented.
	"That's not all that's different about Unit 2." Asuka said, smirking.

	Ritsuko wondered how she had been nominated as the new care-taker of 
Mack.  Of course, Gendo and Fuyutsuki did nothing to help.  Fuyutsuki 
merely smiled as though amused as Gendo showed no emotion what-so-ever.  
As usual.
	Ritsuko was actually surprised.  Mack was taking in his new environment 
quite well.  She'd have to clean out his new room soon, especially since 
a few sloppy habits from college had remained.  One of which was to toss 
clothes to be cleaned into a room where no one could see.  Needless to 
say, it was Mack's 'room' that she had been tossing her clothes into.
	Mack didn't mind the mess.  Her cat, on the other hand, didn't really 
like Mack and vice-versa.
	"%The cat DIDN'T come back the very next day...%" Mack sang in a moment 
of dark humor.
	Of course, now she could say she had more than just her cat.  Now she 
had a roommate.  Of course this gave her a new reason to sweat more 
profusely.
	[I'll have to ask Misato about how she handles Shinji.] Ritsuko thought 
to herself as Mack began rummaging through her 'fridge.
	"Hey!  You got any beer?" Mack asked.
	"You can't drink it, so why ask?" Ritsuko asked.
	"Hey, I gotta know these sort of things.  In case of emergencies." Mack 
replied.
	"What kind of emergency would require beer?" Ritsuko asked.
	"What if you got shot or something?  I'd need to liquor you up so you 
wouldn't feel the pain.  Or what if I suddenly have a date?" Mack asked.
	"If you have a date, you can drink soda.  As for the other one...I'd 
tell you then and there." Ritsuko replied.
	"New Year's Eve?  Oh, wait, that's the american tradition to get raging 
drunk.  How about on St. Patrick's Day?" Mack asked.
	Ritsuko sighed.  It was going to be a LONG day.

	"Unit 0 and Unit 1 were just the Prototypes.  My Unit 2 is the world's 
first real Evangelion!  But that's not the only difference...it has 
blahblahblahblahblahblahblah..."  Shinji heard Asuka say.  Well, he 
stopped paying attention when the "blah"s started.
	He merely nodded as Asuka droned on.  Finally, when she stopped, he 
commented, "So it's no different from Unit 1 and 0 except for the fact 
that it's red."
	"YOU HAVEN'T HEARD A WORD I'VE SAID, HAVE YOU?!" Asuka asked.
	"Uh...sure I did." Shinji lied.
	"Then what did I just say?" Asuka asked.
	"It has a built-in CD player and a back vibrator." Shinji guessed.
	Asuka sputtered.
	"Well that was just a lucky guess!" Asuka sputtered out.
	Suddenly, the entire ship shook violently.  They raced outside.
	"An ANGEL?!  HERE?!" Shinji asked.
	Asuka smirked.
	"Good." Asuka said.

	"An Angel?!  Get that Eva Unit prepared NOW!" Admiral Perry yelled.
	"But sir-" Lt. colonel Brigs began.
	"But nothing!  GET IT READY!!  Order the rest of the fleet to open 
fire!  We need to distract it long enough for the Eva Unit to engage!" 
Admiral Perry ordered.
	Kent and Lane began transmitting the message to the rest of the fleet.  
Strangely, the order to get the Eva ready never made it to it's 
destination.

	"In here!" Asuka said, pulling Shinji into a stairway.
	Shinji found himself sitting on some stairs.
	"Now, I'm going to change.  You sit up here like a good boy and DON'T 
LOOK!" Asuka growled.
	She hurried down the stairs and out of sight.  Shinji pulled out his 
pocket Plug-Suit and began undressing.  No need to get his clothes wet 
in LCL.
	Soon, both Eva Pilots were in their Plug Suits and ready to pilot.  
They entered the storage house for the Eva and got into the plug.  Soon, 
the LCL had filled the plug and Asuka began the starting up process.
	Shinji (and the Author) didn't know what she was saying exactly because 
it was in German, but he quickly recognized that she was doing the 
emergency starting process that he had learned. Suddenly, odd words 
covered the plug.
	"A computer error?" Shinji asked.
	"It's thought noise!  If you're going to think, do it in German!" Asuka 
growled.
	"Okay, I'll try.  Bratwurst, Wieners, Beer, Berlin-" Shinji began.
	"OH KNOCK IT OFF!" Asuka snapped.
	Shinji fell silent.
	"We'll try this again.  Computer, reset the language for Japanese." 
Asuka replied.
	"Sorry, but I learned English and Russian.  Not German." Shinji said.
	"EVA LAUNCH!!" Asuka cried.

	The angel rushed forward as it sensed an Eva.  It had to destroy the 
Eva and quickly.  Unfortunately, just as it was about to destroy the 
Eva, the Eva leaped out of the ship storage and landed on another ship.
	"We've only got 1 minute?!" Shinji asked.
	"That'll be enough." Asuka replied.
	"But the umbilical is on the Super-carrier.  How are we going to get to 
it?" Shinji asked.
	"Easy, Hopscotch." Asuka said, leaping off the ship they were on.

	"WHAT IS THAT MONSTROSITY DOING?!?!  SHUT IT DOWN!!" Lt. Colonel Brigs 
yelled.
	"You disobeyed my orders to get it ready?!  Kent!  Take Lt. Colonel 
Brigs to the Brig.  We'll have a formal court martial later." Admiral 
Perry growled.
	Lt. Colonel watched Misato as she pantomimed a flushing toilet and 
pointed at him.
	"Get the umbilical ready." Admiral Perry ordered another officer.  She 
nodded and hurried to get ready for the Eva's approach.
	"There's a problem.  We only managed to outfit it with B-type 
equipment." Lane said.
	"WHAT?!" Misato asked.
	"What is the problem?" Admiral Perry asked.
	"B-type equipment is only good on LAND!" Misato said, her shoulders 
sagging.
	"GREAT SHADES OF ELVIS!!" Admiral Perry exclaimed.

	"ASUKA!  The Eva is only outfitted with B-type equipment!" Misato 
yelled over the intercom.
	"Oh great..." Shinji said, putting his head in his hands.
	They landed on the super-carrier and put the umbilical cord into it's 
slot.
	"So what if it's B-type?" Asuka asked.
	Shinji began wondering if Asuka knew ANYTHING about the equipment 
classes.
	"Here it comes." Shinji said.
	"The Progressive Knife should do the trick." Asuka said, pulling the 
weapon out of it's pilon.
	[Yeah, right.  And maybe monkeys will fly out of my butt.] Shinji 
thought.
	The huge angel leaped out of the water and landed on the flight deck, 
crushing six more planes that hadn't fallen off the deck when Eva 
landed.  Unfortunately, the Progessive knife fell from Eva-02's hand and 
hacked another hapless plane in half.
	Suddenly, a loading elevator sank down, sending Eva-02 and the Angel 
back into the water.  The Eva-02's cord moved across the flight deck, 
knocking three more planes into the water, leaving a single plane 
remaining on the deck.  Unfortunately, it was the one that had been cut 
in half before.
	The Eva clung onto the Angel's back as the cord's length was unraveled.  
The Angel bashed itself against some flooded ruins of a city, attempting 
to get it's passenger off.
	"Asuka, the cord's almost out.  Prepare for the jolt." Misato warned.
	Suddenly, the Eva was yanked off of the Angel.  The angel continued 
smashing the ruins for a bit before turning around.
	"Here it comes again." Shinji said.
	"I'm ready." Asuka said, pulling on her controls.
	Nothing happened.
	"What?!  Why isn't it working?!" Asuka asked.
	"It's B-type equipment." Shinji replied.
	"DO SOMETHING!" Asuka demanded.
	"Do what?!" Shinji asked.
	"I DON'T KNOW! YOU'RE THE FAMOUS THIRD CHILD!" Asuka yelled.
	Then the Angel was five hundred yards away.  It opened it's mouth.
	"TEETH!" Asuka yelped.
	Then, the angel bit into the Eva.  Both pilots grunted as the pain was 
sent into them via the neural receptors.  They were haplessly pulled 
around by the angel, which seemed to be debating whether or not to 
continued swallowing the Eva because it knew what tricky things Evas 
could be.

	Above water, Misato had broken three clipboards because of her outrage 
at Kaji and the fact that the Eva was now helpless.
	"Wow.  It's like bass fishing..." Toji commented.
	"Fishing?  THAT'S IT!!!" Misato exclaimed in joy.

	"Asuka, Shinji.  We're going to try something, get ready to open that 
thing's mouth, okay?" Misato asked.
	"I'll <whap> do <whap> my <whap> best, Misato!" Shinji replied as Asuka 
whapped him for having his head in her lap as he tried tugging on the 
controls.
	"Watch where you're putting your hands and who gave you permission to 
pilot my Eva?!" Asuka asked as she continued whapping him.
	"HEY!  KNOCK IT OFF!!!" Shinji yelled.
	Asuka fell silent, startled at Shinji's sudden outburst.
	"NOW HELP ME OPEN THIS THING'S MOUTH OR WE'RE GONNA BE FISH FOOD!!!!" 
Shinji yelled.
	The hand grips extended.  Asuka quietly grabbed the extended handles, 
incidentally also touching Shinji's hands.  She blushed a bit, but began 
concentrating on the task at hand.
	Two of the twelve remaining battleships began sinking towards the angel 
as the cord was reeling in the Angel.  Meanwhile, Shinji and Asuka both 
began concentrating on opening the mouth of the Angel.
	With a burst of energy, Eva-02's head rose and it's four eyes began 
glowing with an eerie light.  It's right arm slammed into the roof of 
the Angel's mouth while it's left arm slammed into the bottom of the 
Angel's mouth with a tremendous shove of it's now hyper-sychronization 
charged arms, the Eva opened the Angel's mouth (coincidentally also 
removing the Angel's teeth from the Eva's body).
	The two battleships smashed into the Angel's mouth, breaking teeth and 
tearing it's gums up so bad that it was guaranteed that if the Angel 
survived, it would be on mashed fish paste for the rest of it's life.  
Then, the battleships opened fire with their awesome guns, inflicting 
greater devastation to the Angel than most current land-weapons could.
	Unfortunately for the Angel, the shells flew directly at it's red 
ball...thingy, cracking it and destroying it.  A huge water spout was 
created as a result of the Angel and the battleships's explosions, 
sending Eva-02 flying out of the water to land on the deck of a 
Super-carrier where it promptly collapsed.

	Ritsuko met Misato at the dock where the UN battle fleet was now 
positioned.
	"Here's the data print-outs." Misato said, handing a small pack of data 
to Misato while she got in the jeep.
	"This data will be a great asset." Ritsuko commented.
	"Mmmm, how'd Mack test out?" Misato asked.
	"Oh, he did excellently.  His score was only seven points below 
Shinji's." Ritsuko replied.
	"Impressive." Misato replied.
	Ritsuko began looking over the data.
	"This data IS important.  They both broke their synchronization 
scores." Ritsuko said, seriously.
	"Only for twelve seconds.  I guess it was because of the danger." 
Misato commented.
	Meanwhile, Kensuke was video-taping the side of the carrier as Toji 
leaned against the side of the staircase.  Asuka, still in her plugsuit, 
walked down the stairs, huffing at the presence of Toji and Kensuke.  
Shinji, also in his plugsuit, walked down the stairs.  Kensuke looked up 
with his videocamera.
	"Cool, Shinji!  Is that your plugsuit?" Kensuke asked.
	"Yeah, it is." Shinji replied.
	"Man, if you all get cool plugsuits like that, I'd LOVE to be an Eva 
pilot!  I wonder if there's a position opening soon..." Kensuke asked.
	"Hey, Shinji.  Great job, even if you HAD to pilot with 
that...snake-girl." Toji replied.
	"Thanks....I guess." Shinji said.
	"Is that a slap mark?" Kensuke asked.
	"Don't ask." Shinji replied.

------------------------------------------------------------

	Well, that's #2!
	Prepare for Neon Genesis Evangelion: Beyond Terminal Velocity #3: 
Splitting Up Is Hard To Do!

	See ya!

------
NGE:BTV - OMAKE!!!
Outtakes and Other Junk...

	"Wow!  I never thought I'd ever get to be on one of these babies!" 
Kensuke said, getting hyperactive as the helicopter flew out to sea.
	"So, where are we going?" Shinji asked.
	"We're just going to visit a little boat of mine." Misato said, 
winking.
	The clouds cleared and revealed the entire UN battle fleet.
	"OH MY GOD!!  IT'S THE ENTIRE UNITED NATIONS FISHING FLEET!!!" Kensuke 
exclaims.
	Everyone is so busy laughing that the helicopter crashes and explodes.
	CUT!!!

------

	"Consider it the viewing fee. What do you think?" Asuka asked, smiling.
	"It's overpriced, so here's your change!" Toji said, pulling down his 
pants and boxers.
	Shinji and Kensuke turned away as Misato attempted to make herself 
invisible.  *SMACK*  Toji, now with his pants up and two slap marks on 
his cheeks, watched as Asuka calmly walked past him.  Misato has 
succeeded in becoming invisible.

------

	"WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!?!" Misato growled.
	"Ah, as I thought.  She hasn't changed a bit." Ryoji said.
	Misato slumped her head into her hands and tried to wish that Ryoji had 
NOT said that.
	Her wish was granted.  Of course, this also removed Kaji from the 
timeline.  The world changed.  Shinji hadn't changed; Rei, Asuka, Maya, 
Ritsuko and Misato had all become anthropomorhic cat-humanoids (MEOW!;); 
Kensuke was now a bat-man and Toji was a giant.  Everyone else remained 
the same.

------

	The huge angel leaped out of the water and landed on the flight deck, 
crushing six more planes that hadn't fallen off the deck when Eva 
landed.
	"Remember, we whales mate for life!" The angel said.
	The Eva and Angel burst into laughter as do the filming crew and 
actors.

------

	Eva-02, Eva-01 and Eva-00 are standing on a hillside.  Angel Three 
arrives.
	"All right, we all know how to play Mah-Jongg, right?" Eva-00 asks as 
it puts on a dealer's cap.

------

	Suddenly, the Eva was yanked off of the Angel.  The angel continued 
smashing the ruins for a bit before turning around.
	"Here it comes again." Shinji said.
	"I'm ready." Asuka said, pulling on her controls.
	Nothing happened.
	"What?!  Why isn't it working?!" Asuka asked.
	"It's B-type equipment." Shinji replied.
	"DO SOMETHING!" Asuka demanded.
	"Do what?!" Shinji asked.
	"I DON'T KNOW! YOU'RE THE FAMOUS THIRD CHILD!" Asuka yelled.
	"How about you?" Shinji asked.
	"Good idea!" Asuka said, grabbing Shinji.
	They begin making out.  The Angel, disgusted with this, leaves.

------

		Suddenly, the Eva was yanked off of the Angel.  The angel continued 
smashing the ruins for a bit before turning around.
	"Here it comes again." Shinji said.
	"I'm ready." Asuka said, pulling on her controls.
	Nothing happened.
	"What?!  Why isn't it working?!" Asuka asked.
	"It's B-type equipment." Shinji replied.
	"DO SOMETHING!" Asuka demanded.
	"Do what?!" Shinji asked.
	"I DON'T KNOW! YOU'RE THE FAMOUS THIRD CHILD!" Asuka yelled.
	"I could sing." Shinji replied.
	"You don't mean..." Asuka began.
	"That's right...%AH, AH, AH, AH, STAYIN' ALIVE!  STAYIN' ALIVE!  AH, 
AH, AH, AH, STAYIN' ALIIIIIIIII-*" Shinji sang before Asuka began making 
out with him.
	[Anything to shut him up!] Asuka thought.

------

TA DA!

Omake by A-chan, A-kun and ?????

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