[Harvard Cantab Review Theater. Andrew really shouldn't be doing this, as
he's got a paper due on Tuesday that hasn't yet been started. ^_^]

Andrew: Yeh, yeh, whatever.

Nanami: Let's go.

Well, my pre-readers appear to have gotten lives (the bastiches) so I'm
sending this out now.

Andrew: Hey! I was out all of yesterday. Up at Dartmouth, singing with my
a cappella group.

Gaspode: That's exactly wot he meant, I think.

Nanami: You sang yesterday, and didn't tell me?

Andrew: Um....

***************************

God was bored.

Gaspode: Which one? There's a lot of them on the Disc.

Nanami: In Chris's universe, THE God. Kami-sama.

Andrew: Is it only me who's worried at seeing a line like that? "God was
bored." [shivers]

God spent a lot of time bored.

He wasn't bored at the beginning, oh no, He had lots to do then.  Too much
to do.

That's why He created Ygddrasil and the other gods - it gave Him some free
time.

Too much free time.

Andrew: I'd be muttering something about the Devil and idle hands, but I
guess that wouldn't apply.

Nanami: Well, maybe you could, in reference to Chris. ^_^

Gaspode: Wasn't this also the guy who said he'd be putting his writing on
hold?

Andrew: His other writing. He needed to put this out first, or something
to that effect.

First He thought one of His daughters might provide entertainment.  Nope,
not much there.  So He decided to toss in her sisters.  A few laughs, but
they got boring quick.

So He decided to make a mortal into a god, toss him in with his daughters,
and see what happened.  Some judicious meddling, a few strings pulled, a
wish or two arranged...

Now THAT's entertainment.

Andrew: My solid Christian upbringing is conflicting with these
statements. [head starts to smoke]

Nanami: Put away the special effects machine. Besides, it's just a story.

Gaspode: I smell something burning.

Andrew: [recovering] I think it's just you coming in contact with fresh
air, Gaspode.

Gaspode: Har, har.

There was something missing though...something he couldn't place.  He liked
His little pawn, the guy was always good for a fun time, but He was getting
bored again.

Time to see what the mortals do for fun.  Hmm...fiction...not a bad idea.
Multiple universes?  Hey...this has potential...infinite universes?

This could be fun.

Some creations, a change here and there...not bad...not bad at all.  What
else do they do...fanfiction?  Self-insertion?  Been there, done that, got
Me crucified.  Hey...now what if I toss in My little pal?

Andrew: [wincing] Now, Chris, that's getting a little too touchy, you
know.

This WOULD be fun.

***

Christopher Angel Presents:

GOD'S TOY
Cycle 1.1 - Bubblegum...CHRIS?

Nanami, Andrew: [snicker]

A Ygddrasil Production
inspired by:

BUBBLEGUM CRISIS
Japanese Copyright Artmic, Inc. and Youmex, Inc.
North American Copyright AnimEigo, Inc.

***

Sylia looked down to the floor of her lab in disbelief.  An unconscious man
had just...appeared there.  She didn't even move as Priss and the others
walked in.

Nanami: Wow, you don't quibble with introductions to the story, do you?

Andrew: That's what the above was, dear. The stuff before the title.

[Nanami backhands Andrew without hesitation.]

Andrew: [holding nose] Bud then, I gness you haf a boint. Dat hurd, you
gknow.

Nanami: Be careful who you call "dear". [smiles sweetly]

Gaspode: Would you get on wif it? I knew I should have gotten paid by the
hour.

"What the hell is this?" Priss demanded.  "Someone break in?"  She cracked
her knuckles.  "He's gonna regret it..."

The man was of European descent, probably with some Middle-Eastern thrown in
from his facial features - thick black hair, a nose like an eagle's beak, a
strong chin, and a light tan with extensive freckle.  Somewhat handsome,
Sylia noted absently.  He was huge, probably just under two meters, and
built like a linebacker.  He wore black pants and a light green shirt, over
which he had a dark green trenchcoat.

"He's cute," Nene exclaimed.  The other three women looked at her and she
wilted.  "Whaaat?"

Nanami: She's right. [glances at Andrew with a smirk]

Andrew: Wot?

Suddenly, the man groaned and opened his eyes, looking up at the four women
gathered around them.  His eyes locked on Sylia.  "Hot brunette." They
flicked to Priss.  "Hot...brown haired woman.  Red eyes."  To Nene.  "Very
hot redhead." To Linna.  "Extremely hot brunette."  His eyes closed again.

Andrew: He's right. [glances at Nanami nervously]

Nanami: Huh?

[Gaspode rolls his eyes.]

"Excuse me?" Sylia said.  Suddenly the man's eyes hot open, and he shot up
to a sitting position.  He turned his head slowly and stared at Sylia.

"Sylia Stingray.  Priss Asagiri.  Nene Romanova.  Linna Yamazaki."  He fell
back to a prone position, and covered his face with his hands.  "The Knight
Sabers."  A gasp escaped from the women, and he slowly dragged his hands
down from his face to glare at the ceiling.  "KAMI-SAMA...YOU JERK!"

Gaspode: You said "Kami-sama" was the God here?

Nanami: Yep.

Gaspode: Then sayin' that line wouldn't be a survival trait. Not on the
Disc, at any rate.

Andrew: Chris must be ticked. He's usually wiser than that....

There was a roll of thunder.  Sylia started in surprise.  In order of a
thunderclap to be heard in her labs, it would have to be almost
destructively loud on the surface.

Nanami, Andrew: World of hurt.

[Gaspode merely nods.]

"What the hell is this?" Priss demanded.  She reached into her jacket and
pulled out her firearm, and released the safety, she pointed it at the man
who was still lying on the floor, cursing up a rather impressive storm.
"You better start talking, buddy..."

The man looked at the gun and scowled at her.  "Typical Priss reaction," he

Nanami: [snicker] Kind of like the way Hino Rei is written in most Sailor
Moon inserts.

growled, and...blurred.  In the blink of an eye Priss felt her gun wrenched
out of her hands and found herself looking into the barrel.  "Never point a
gun at someone who can't take it away from you."  He stood, and the women

Andrew: Mayhap, thou meanest, "Never point a gun at someone who _can_ take
it away from you"?

Gaspode: Wot's with the archaic talkin'?

Andrew: Must have been something I ate.

backed up from his large frame, Linna and Sylia falling into combat stances.
The man ignored them and snarled up at the ceiling, pointing a finger at it
like he was lecturing someone.

Andrew: Godling or not, it's never wise to ignore angry females.

Nanami: [suspicious glare] And what is that supposed to mean?

Andrew: Huh? What did you say?

[Scene of minor violence. Gaspode ignores them.]

Gaspode: Yellin' at God. He's not gettin' any wiser.

"I didn't mind when you messed up my life.  I didn't really mind when you
made me a plaything for a couple girls.  I was pissed when you meddled with
my friends, but saw it was for the best.  But if you think I'm going to sit
here and play along like some damn toy for your personal amusement, you've
got another thing coming, you jackass!"

Andrew: [from a heap on the floor] Jackass?

Thunder rolled again, louder this time.  The man recoiled for a moment, then
laughed bitterly.

"What are you going to do?  Lightning bolt me and reveal to all of Megatokyo
where the Knight Sabers operate from?  HA!  You wouldn't dare you meddling,
stuck-up, amoral, high-handed..." he continued to rant while the Knight
Sabers watched, dumbstruck.

Andrew: [now sitting on the futon again, bandaged in spots] Amoral!? But--

Nanami: It's a story. Calm down.

Andrew: Grr.

Nanami: And that'll be ten dollars for the first aid. [grin]

Andrew: ... [thought] She beats me up, patches me up, then rings me up for
the bill.

"Who the hell is he yelling at?" Priss demanded.

Nene was searching through her handbag for her firearm.  "He's a nutcase,
and he has Priss's gun!  We've got to do something!"

Sylia turned to hit the alarm button to signal Mackie, when she noticed the
control panels on the wall sparking.  "What the..?"  she stared at the walls
around her and noticed the blue energy dancing across the controls like a
living being.  Every so often, a tendril of energy would reach out towards
the giant man, but so far, none had made it.  Sylia made the mental
calculation of the power level required to do that, and came to the
conclusion it would be fatal to anyone.  She grabbed Nene, who had just
found her AD police issue handgun, and threw her to the floor.  "Get down!"
She yelled to Priss and Linna, and dove to the ground.  Priss and Linna,
their reflexes tuned by long combat training, followed her.

Nanami, Andrew: World of hurt.

"...and another thing," the man continued, not having stopped his tirade,
"you good-for-nothing holier-than-thou jerk, what the hell makes you think I
even want to play around in this world, anyway?  I mean, for Tyr's sake,
this place is a bloodbath!  How on earth could you be so STUPID as to put me
here, you egotistical, IDIOTIC..."

Nanami, Andrew: Great BIG world of hurt.

Gaspode: He's not goin' to learn, is he?

Any further speech was interrupted as a gigantic arc of power exploded from
the walls, striking the man with a thunderous crash.  For a handful of very
long seconds, the man yelled in surprise and pain as the power coursed
through his body, and then the electrical discharge ceased.  A moment later,
the man slumped to the ground, the clothing on his upper body charred into
ash by the immense energy that flowed through it.  His body smoked as he lay
groaning on the ground.

Gaspode: Ahh, I've had worse.

Andrew: [Sean Connery voice] Thus endeth the lesson.

Nanami: Watching the Untouchables?

Andrew: Haven't seen it in years. But hey, it's an appropriate line.

Linna looked up from where she was and stared at the man, then turned her
gaze onto her friends.  Her face was pale, and she felt cold.  She absently
noted she was probably in a bit of shock.  "Does anyone know what just
happened here?" she asked in a quavering voice.

Nanami: Will you believe the explanation?

Andrew: Not bloody likely!

Gaspode: You're...wossname...plagiarizin' now?

Andrew: Shut up. I'm still not fully awake.

Nanami: It's almost 2 in the afternoon.

Andrew: Your point?

***

Chris's first sensation upon waking up was the feel of metal.  Not cold
metal, but the unmistakable sweaty feeling skin got when it was forced to be
in contact with naked metal for an extended period.  He shifted
uncomfortably, and felt panic begin to set in as he noticed he was
restrained.

Andrew: That shouldn't normally be a problem for him, yes?

Nanami: So, either he's pretty groggy, or there's something wrong.

"So, he's awake," a voice droned.  Chris's eyes flew open, and he found
himself looking into a pair of red eyes.  He blinked, and the view expanded
to reveal a rather pretty face that was currently sneering at him.  Chris's

Nanami: Well, at least he's together enough to notice she's pretty.

Andrew: Hey, one can't deny the truth.

[whap]

Andrew: Ow!

eyes flicked around, and he saw the other members of the Knight Sabers
around the room, their attention focussed on him.

"Oh, YOU people," he muttered, a tone of infinite disgust in his voice.  "I
suppose it was to much to ask for it to be a dream, I suppose," he sighed

Andrew: How...tactful.

Nanami: This kind of reminds me of Yusuke after he died and met up with
Botan. Most people would be scared or confused. He's just being rude.
[grin] I like it.

and then scowled at Priss as he noticed her playing with her gun.  "Ms.
Asagiri, I'm quite well restrained, and it's obvious you won't kill me until
your illustrious leader's curiosity is satisfied.  Could you PLEASE put the
gun away?  It makes me nervous."

Priss snorted and turned away as Sylia came to stand by Chris's side.  He
looked up into her emotionless face and felt a small bit of fear.  This

Andrew: Now _that's_ more like it.

woman could decide to kill him outright if he made the wrong move.  "Well,
young man," she began, "would you like to tell us who you are," she paused,
and her eyes hardened.  "And how you know who we are?"

Andrew: Will you believe the explanation?

Nanami: Not bloody likely!

Gaspode: You two 're probably buildin' up some bad horseless-carriage-ma
for that.

Andrew: [wincing] To say nothing of yourself, with your horrible pun
there.

Chris snickered.  "Young man...oh Tyr, that's funny," he chortled.  "For
your information, young lady," he drawled, "my name is Christopher Angel,
age 22, electrical engineer."  He grinned.  "Call me Chris."  He frowned up
at the ceiling and sighed.  "Highly knowledgeable on the theory and
mechanics of technology thirty-five years out of date, oh fun and joy," he

Nanami: Better than being well versed in the thorougly impractical
discipline of philosophy.

Andrew: HEY!

complained.  "As for how I know who you are...um...well, it's kind of
silly."

"Pray tell," Sylia said with an arched eyebrow.

"Um...where I come from," he paused and grimaced.  Chris just knew this was
going to suck.  "You're an anime.  Bubblegum Crisis from Artmic.  Sylia

Andrew: [grin] Oh, yes.

Stingray and her band of mercenaries, the most attractive fighters ever to
hit the screen.  Blood, guts, mecha, violence, and fan service, oh my.  Hey,
I do believe I'm babbling."

Sylia and the others gaped at him.  "You can't honestly expect us to believe
that?" Linna demanded.

Chris shrugged as best he could with his arms in restraints.  "It's the
truth."  He winced as a screen in the wall opposite him sprang to life with
a burst of light.  "And here's the Boss..." he sang, and scowled at the
screen.  "So, what's the big idea, you nutbar?"

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO GET ZAPPED AGAIN, MY SON?

Gaspode: Most Discworlders don't get as many chances as this guy.

"No particularly," Chris replied.  He smirked over at Nene who was playing
with the computer under the screen, trying to trace the connection to it's
source.  "Good luck, Ms. Romanova, you'll need it."  He looked back up at

Andrew: Ain't that the truth?

the screen.  "So what's the story?"

EVER HEAR OF FAN-FICTION?  NICE IDEA YOUR PEOPLE HAVE.  I DECIDED TO TAKE

IT TO THE LOGICAL CONCLUSION, AND MADE A MULTIVERSE.

Nanami: Whoa. That's a weird line of reasoning.

"You have GOT to be kidding me," Chris exclaimed.  "Wait, no, you don't
lie," he sighed.  "So why am I pulling a Becket?"

"Nene," hissed Linna, "where the hell is this coming from?"

"I don't know!" the hacker almost sobbed back.  "It's like it's coming from
nowhere!"

WELL, I LIKED THE SELF-INSERTION IDEA, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THE LAST

TIME I DID THAT...

"Got you crucified," Chris said in a bored tone of voice.  "So you decided
to do Chris-insertion.  Yaaaaaaaaaaay.  I'm going to die."

Andrew: Urgh.

Nanami: I do have to admit, that can be cutting close to the bone.

"Got him crucified?" Priss repeated in a scandalized voice.  "Who does this
guy think he is?"

"God," Nene replied absently as she tried another tracker program.  "Do you
know of any other beings who can create universes and died by crucifixion?"

"That's insane!" Linna protested.

Nene shrugged.  "That's what they're referring to.  Trust me, I'm Catholic."

Andrew: Catholic? If anything, I'd expect her to be Russian Orthodox, or
something along those lines.

Nanami: Stop nitpicking. There are Russian Roman Catholics.

"You're taking this well," Linna said with a bit of surprise.

"I'm Catholic," Nene repeated, as if that explained everything.

WHY DO YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE DOOMED, MY SON??

Chris glanced at the rest of the Knight Sabers, who were watching the
proceedings with a mixture of confusion, shock, anger, and in one case,
indifference.  "First of all, the death toll due to boomer rampages and
other...incidents is enormous.  Second, even if my hosts were willing to put
up with me, which I DOUBT, I'd have to freeload, since all my learning is
based on WAY out of date material.  Third, I can't feel Ygddrasil.  That
means I'm essentially a normal human being unless I practically overdose on
aspartame, and even then I'm not very useful.  Finally, I know what's going

Nanami: Aspartame? Is there something I missed?

Andrew: I have no idea myself....

to happen!  I'm going to try to interfere and I'm going to get killed,
Boss!"

Andrew: Ah, but interference is the ultimate point of self-insertions!

Sylia frowned.  *'Essentially a normal human?'* she wondered.  *What does
that mean?*

ONE, *SIGH* THERE IS NOT MUCH I CAN DO ABOUT THAT.  I MERELY CREATED THE

Andrew: Hmm...the sigh seems to be a bit out of place, considering that
this is text being communicated to Chris....

INFINITE MULTIVERSE, THE PEOPLE IN THIS DIMENSION MADE THE CHOICES TO CREATE
THE WORLD THIS WAY.  TWO, DO NOT SELL YOURSELF SHORT.  SO YOU ARE NOT A
TECHNOLOGICAL WIZARD, THEY DON NOT NEED ONE.  THREE, YOU WILL HAVE ACCESS TO

Nanami: "They do not need one." Just an oversight, I'm sure, but do catch
it.

YOUR POWERS, BUT IN A MODIFIED FORM.  FOUR, I WIPED MOST OF YOUR MEMORIES OF
THIS WORLD.

"You WHAT?" Chris screamed, and did a sort of mental diagnostic.  "I'll be
damned.  You did."  He frowned slightly.  "I suppose that's fair."

Andrew: He took that rather well. I'd be kind of irritated--I would want
the advantage of knowing the background.

Nanami: In your case, it wouldn't be much anyway. You haven't seen any BGC
yet, right?

Andrew: ...

YES.  AS FOR YOUR POWERS, THEY WILL ACTIVATE NOW.

An odd tingling sensation came over Chris, and he felt the table beneath
himself begin to mold to his body.  A sudden rush of energy flowed through
him, and he noticed that he was sinking - through the table.  A moment
later, he hit the floor of the lab, and looked up through  the person-shaped
hole in the table.  He touched the side of the hole, and the table seemed to
melt where he touched it, and a dark substance flowed under his skin up into
his body.

Nanami: O_o

"Nanites," he murmured, and laid his hand down on the metal, watching the
material flow up into his body.  "Fucking NANITES." Chris shook his head
violently.  "I'm a boomeroid?" he whispered, and tears began to fall down
his face.  "You BASTARD, you stole my FUCKING HUMANITY?!"  An arc of
electricity danced over him, and he fell unconscious.

Andrew: Calling God a "bastard" and spouting off the f-word at him just
isn't...kosher.

Nanami: And you're not even Jewish.

Gaspode: Mebbe I should bring him to the Discworld an' give the gods there
a pissy fit, when they try to strike him down and fail.

Andrew: Kinda funny, actually, as long as I remember that this is fiction.
:P

SYLIA, MY CHILD, I HAVE A FAVOR TO ASK OF YOU.  OF ALL OF YOU.

Sylia blinked and stared at the computer screen.  "M-me?" she stammered, as
even the most stoic of facades failed.

Andrew: Being directly addressed by the Lord does that to you.

Gaspode: But usually, it's in the form of lightning.

MY SON WILL NEED TIME TO ADJUST.  HE IS ALONE, IN A WORLD AND A TIME HE IS

NOT WELL PREPARED FOR.  DO NOT REJECT HIM, OTHER DAUGHTERS OF MINE DID NOT,
AND NEVER REGRETTED IT.  YOU WILL NOT EITHER.  PLEASE, HELP HIM.

Andrew: For being such a cruel prankster earlier, He is suddenly rather
solemn, yes?

Sylia said nothing for a moment.  What do you say when in a four hour
period, a man has appeared in your lab, been shocked into unconsciousness
TWICE, has shown evidence of nanomachines in his body decades ahead of the
time, and some completely untraceable person has just asked you to take care
of the guy?

"I will," promised Sylia.  Somehow, she knew things were just beginning.

Nanami: I don't think Sylia has _any_ idea....

THANK YOU.

With that, the screen blanked out.

"Damn it!" Nene cursed and threw her hands up in frustration. "He's gone!"

"I'd like to go down in the record now for saying I really hate this," Priss
noted, and scowled down at the comatose man.  She suddenly got a puzzled
look on her face.  "Hey, is it just me or is he bigger?"

"PRISS!" Linna gasped, scandalized.

Priss gave her a peeved look.  "I meant TALLER," she said defensively.

Nanami: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Andrew: Since when were you so ecchi?

[whap]

***

For the second time in a day, Chris woke up to stare at a metal ceiling.  Th
is time, though, he didn't feel metal at his back, he felt...plastic?

Andrew: One of the rules of chemistry--never put a substance on or in
something that it will eat straight through.

Gaspode: Wasn't it, "Never lick the spoon"?

Nanami: A bit late for you, Wonder Dog.

Gaspode: Har, har.

Chris blinked and tried to sit up, and noted with exasperation that he was
still restrained.  "Excuse me?" he tried, and another pretty face looked
over at him.  This one was framed with red hair. "I could get used to the
wake up service around here," he muttered under his breath.

Andrew: [smiling] No kidding.

Nanami: [peeved] And what does that mean.

Andrew: [blinking] Er, that is, it'd be nice if _you_ woke me up in the
mornings.

Nanami: [raised eyebrow] Uh-huh.

Andrew: Really!

"Good...morning?...Ms. Romanova."

"Rise and shine," she said cheerily, and then looked over her shoulder.
"Sleeping beauty's awake again!"

Nanami: She does seem to be adjusting well to the situation.

Andrew: Nene is usually portrayed as the innocent, cheery on of the
Sabers. Plus, he called her a "very hot redhead." I wouldn't be surprised.

A few steps echoed through the room, and Chris found yet another attractive
face looking down at him, this one belonging to the leader of the Knight
Sabers.  "Hello again, Ms. Stingray.  I don't suppose I can get up now?"

Nanami: Is he going to mention how good they look _every_ time?

Andrew: Why, you sound a bit...jealous.

[swoosh]

Andrew: [grin] Missed m--

[whap]

Andrew: Urk. You're awfully violent today, Nanami.

Nanami: Hmm. So I am. [grin]

Andrew: Crap.

Sylia looked over at Nene.  "Has it stopped?"

"Yep!" the hacker nodded.  "He stopped absorbing stuff almost fifteen
minutes ago."

"Absorbing stuff?" Chris wondered out loud, and then is face twisted into a
horrified but resigned grimace.  "Oh, yeah, the nanites.  Oh joyful joyful,
I'm a boomeroid.  So what's the verdict?  Am I still mostly meat?"

Gaspode: Wot's the big deal?

Andrew: I wouldn't be too happy with losing bits and pieces of my
humanity, either, like this.

"Legally, you're not a boomeroid," Sylia told him.  "You've only gained
about thirty kilos of body mass, making you about twenty percent artificial,
still well under the seventy percent limit."  She smiled condescendingly.
"Although you now top 2.1 meters, so you'll really stick out in a crowd."

"Yay, maybe I can try out for the NBA.  Wait I don't play basketball.  Is
there even an NBA?  Of course there's an NBA, what would MJ do?  Baseball?
You've got to be kidding me." he noted the surprised expressions on the two
women's faces and chuckled.  "Babbling again?   Welcome to Chris' Lateral
Thinking Theatre, leave your sanity at the door."

Gaspode: He does that quite a lot, too. He could give Foul Ole Ron a run
for his money. Wot am I sayin', Ron has no money....

"Do you do that a lot?" Nene asked as she tried to suppress giggles.

"Not usually," Chris admitted, "but I've been having a bad day, you know?"
He tried to shrug, and made a noise of irritation.  "Can you let me OUT of
this thing?  PLEASE?  I promise to be good!"

Nanami: He's whining. That must be a bad sign. ^_^

Sylia made a sort of guilty start and pressed a control.  The restraints
immediately loosened, and Chris sat up on the bed, and looked curiously at
the silvery dust that spilled off his body.  "Aluminum," Sylia supplied.
"It was what the first table was made of, your body took it in until it
could replace it with something better, which appears now to be a
titanium-tungsten-steel-technetium alloy."

Andrew: Why technetium? It's not stable, for one thing.

"So in other words, while I was out, you sat there and played with the
nanomachines," Chris muttered.  "Did you have fun?"

Nene smiled.  "It looked really wild when that block of tungsten just kind
of melted into your chest," she told him.  "We got it recorded if you want
to see it."

"Shades of T-1000," Chris muttered.  "Thanks but no thanks.  So now what?"

Andrew: Coooooool....

Nanami: [smirk] You boys and your special effects.

"Well," Sylia began.  "We do need to talk, Mr. Angel.  I'd like an
explanation of what went on earlier."  She and Nene began to walk towards
the door to the lab.

Chris sighed.  "Sure, but prepared to hear some really weird shit," he
warned, and swung his legs over the side of the table.  "Excuse me?" he
called, and the pair of women turned.  "Where are my pants?"  Nene
wordlessly indicated a pile of carbonized fabric in the corner of the room.
"Oh.  Man, that was my favorite shirt!" he complained.

***

A shiver washed over Chris and he straightened his back to dispel the
residual discomfort from it.  He wasn't really used to being in the same
room as four exceedingly attractive women when he was fully dressed.  In his
current state of undress it was something akin to torture, and the
incredibly...high class nature of Sylia's living room wasn't helping,
neither was the suspicious looks Mackie was giving him.

[Andrew chuckles a bit, then notices Nanami.]

Andrew: Nanami, you should wipe that drool from you lip. It's unsightly.

Nanami: Whoops!

[Now, Andrew grumbles a bit.]

He looked morosely at what was left of his attire.  His shirt and jacket had
been burned to a crisp, and his shades had been turned into a melted,
mangled mess.  Only the shoes and pants had actually been salvageable, and
thankfully fit, even though the pants were a few inches too short.  "Shades
of puberty," he muttered.

"Alright," Priss growled, settling the cannon she referred to as a gun on
her lap.  "Talk."

Nanami: She never lets up, does she?

Andrew: It's not her fault. She's written that way.

Chris sighed and leaned back in his chair.  "Where to begin?"  He frowned
for a minute, then brightened.  As Nene opened her mouth to speak. he
pointed an admonishing finger at her.  "If you say 'at the beginning,'
you're going to suffer through a really bad James Earl Jones impression."
He noted the blank expressions from everyone but Mackie, and stared up at
the ceiling.  "No wonder this world has so many problems."

Andrew: Hmm...I missed it myself.

"Are you done being a smartass?" Priss demanded.

"I have just begun to quip!" Chris declared with a grin, then ruefully shook
his head at the combined force of five glares.  "Ho-Kay....let's see.  Where

Nanami: Ouch.

I come from, I'm a god."  He chuckled at their shocked expressions, and
continued.  "Christopher Angel, God of Moments, Protector of the Norns,
Aesir, and all-around-great-guy."

"You're insane," Linna said for the rest of them.

"Well, yeah," Chris admitted, "but that's beside the point.  "No really, I'm
a god.  One of whole heaps of them.  We run the universe so THE God doesn't
have to...or rather, we run my universe."  He spread his hands sheepishly.
"I expect the Boss just left this one to run by itself."

Andrew: And look how marvelously it turned out.

Gaspode: I'm supposed to be the cynic around here.

Sylia shook her head.  "You can't honestly expect us to believe that."

"Sis," Mackie piped up, "no offense, but if I'm supposed to believe your
story about what happened in the lab, why shouldn't I believe what he's
saying?"

Linna giggled a bit.  "He's got a point, Sylia."

"Since I can't prove otherwise," Chris continued, "I suggest you take my

Nanami: Faulty reasoning--

Andrew: Forget about it.

word for it," he offered, and Sylia nodded grudging acceptance.  "What else
do you want to know?"

"Let me field this one," Priss barked.  "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Don't ask me, I'm as much a victim as you!" Chris snapped.  "I was just
getting used to one change in living conditions when He decides I should
jump into this damn universe!  It's not my freaking fault that I'm His
personal entertainment device!  First He rips me out of a decent internship
to go halfway across the world.  Then He gives me these weird powers that no
person should have.  Then He starts messing with my friends' lives!"  He
took a deep breath and slowly let it out.  "Frankly, you should count
yourself lucky you just got me."

The others just stared at him, and finally Linna spoke.  "Now, I believe
you," she said.  "No one could get that angry over something they made up.
No one would make something that goofy up anyway."  Priss snorted, but
nodded her agreement.

Andrew: Of course, he could just be crazy, and believe it to be true....

"It sounds like something out of an anime," Nene said, and then looked
insulted as Chris burst out into laughter.

"Ms. Romanova, remember to me, this entire world WAS an anime."

"I've got a question for you about that," Sylia said.  Chris arched an
eyebrow at her.  "Why 'Bubblegum Crisis'?"

Chris shrugged.  "The common belief is that is has something to do with a
bubblegum bubble just about to pop, and the awful mess it leaves over your
face once it does," he explained, then chuckled slightly.  "But I just think
they chose it because it sounded cool."

"It sounds ridiculous!" Priss declared.

Andrew: [snort] Ain't that the truth.

"So does Neon Genesis Evangelion, Magical Knights Rayearth, Martian
Successor Nadesico, and Kigamure Orange Road, but those are real anime
names."  He paused, and shook his head.  "Too bad He didn't send me into
Magical Twilight or F^3."  Chris ran his hand through his hair, and winced

Nanami: O_O Ecchi! [throws Ura at the screen]

Ura: Mrow!

Andrew: Where'd you come from? And why did you [turns to Nanami] throw the
poor cat? Oh, crap. Gaspode--

[scene of minor violence]

Andrew: --no. Well, too late.

Gaspode: Urf.

[Don't ask me where that came from. I'm _still_ not completely awake.]

as metal dust fell from his hair.  "Anything else?  If not, I'd like to
borrow your shower, Ms. Stingray, this Tinkerbell impression I'm doing is
downright irritating."

Sylia nodded and rose, leading Chris down into her labs where there was a
shower he could use.  As she handed him a towel and soap, she looked him up
and down.  "So you were a fighter where you came from?"

A low chuckle rose from Chris.  "I'm not the best, in fact, I'm probably
bottom of the list among the Aesir - those were the War deities of the Norse

Andrew: They weren't _all_ war deities.... I'd like to see Balder with a
sword and shield.

Pantheon.  But you tend to pick up a few things after a year in the Combat
School of Head Knocks."

"Don't you mean 'Hard Knocks'?"

"Nope," Chris said as he shut the door on her.  "If I messed up I got
knocked around the head, get it?"  He grinned at her pained expression, and

Nanami: Bleah.

locked the door.  He leaned against the cold metal for a few minutes,

Andrew: Don't eat your way through the wall....

reviewing the events of the past few hours in his head.  He began to
rhythmically pound his head against the metal.  "Great, smartass, what are
you, stupid?  Let's just mouth off to ALL of them, why don't we?"  He put
his face in his hands.  "Where did I pick up this talent for making an ass
of myself, anyway?"

Andrew: Comes with the territory of being a self-insert character. [grin]

Nanami: Aren't you doing one, too?

Andrew: Ooh...well, Otaku Leap has been on slight hold...but it'll be
coming sometime.

As he stripped, Chris shook his head ruefully.  "Nice bunch.  Priss is a
little bit on the hostile side, but what do you expect from a retrothrash
singer like her?" He turned on the shower and played with the temperature
for a few moments.  "But by Tyr, they're a quartet of centerfolds,
especially Nene and Linna!" he continued, and sunk his voice into a
lecherous drawl.  "I'd buy THAT fer a dollar!"

Nanami: Boys. [throws a stuffed Ura doll at the screen this time]

Chris stepped into the shower, banged his head on the low ceiling, and began
working on washing his hair, repeating the process a few times to make sure
all the dust was removed.  As he moved down onto his chest, he looked with a
bit of disgust at the amount of skin space he had gained.  "Well, could be
worse," he mused, "I could have been dumped in Ranma 1/2."  He suddenly

[Andrew opens his mouth.]

Nanami: Don't say a word. You'll probably just get Gary jumping on you.

[Andrew shuts his mouth.]

Nanami: No offense, Gary. ^_^

shuddered.  "I don't even want to know what I'd look like as a girl."  He
began to soap down his body, a tune rising from his throat to echo off the
walls.

"You could say I lost my faith in science and progress.
You could say I lost my belief in the Holy Church.
You could say I lost my sense of direction.
You could say all that and worse..."

***

Sylia shook her head in dismay at the closed door, and made her way back up
to the other Sabers.  She walked into the room, poured herself a shot of
whiskey, and threw it back.  She took a deep breath, then poured herself
another before returning to sit with the others.

Andrew: I wonder what a downright drunk Sylia would be like....

"I know how you feel," Linna said sympathetically as she watched their
leader's actions.  "This is just TOO weird.  I keep on expecting this weird
dream to end."

"*I* think we should just waste him," Priss said bluntly.  "Rule One,
remember?"

Andrew: That's a bit harsh, yes?

Nene stared at the singer in shock.  "That's murder!" she exclaimed jumping
to her feet.  "He's done nothing to us, and you just want to kill him?  No
way!"

"It's the rules," Priss countered, and rose to tower over the red-head. "And
he's a risk!  Better safe than sorry!"

"Priss, Nene, calm down!" Sylia ordered sharply.  "Killing him is not an
option," she said firmly, and then turned a coldly amused gaze on to Priss.
"And if we're talking about rules, what about Rule Three?"  She glanced at
Linna.  "Or Ten?  Or in all our cases, Rule Nine?"  She shook her head and

Nanami: Good point. What rule have they not fully broken, anyway?

then took a long sip from her drink.  "Besides that, I promised...WHOMEVER
that was that I would watch out for Mr. Angel down there."  Her face twisted

Andrew: When it comes to God, you'd best not go back on your promise. Look
what happened to ancient Israel....

Nanami: Not all of us are Biblical scholars.

in distaste.  "That's all I need, another little brother."

"It could be worse," Nene giggled as she went to sit down.  "At least he's
not as bad as Mackie," she ignored the indignant shout from his direction,
"and he's a hunk!"  She made like she was holding a ball with her hands.
"His arms are as big around as my leg!"

Linna nodded in agreement.  "I wonder how he's built in...other areas?" She
blushed as the other Sabers gave her scandalized looks.

Andrew: Urk.

"Jeez, a guy calls you hot and you melt all over him," Priss said in a
disgusted voice, flopping down in her seat.

"Indeed, control yourselves," Sylia added.

Linna and Nene exchanged smug looks.  "Sylia-and-Priss-are-jealous!
Sylia-and-Priss-are-jealous!" they chanted in a sing-song.

"I AM NOT!" Priss roared, and the singing pair laughed.

Andrew: [guffaw] Oh, that's just priceless.

"If you guys want to see, take a look," Mackie called from Sylia's computer.
The women exchanged confused looks, and then walked over to the terminal.
There, on the screen, was the image of Chris in the shower.  Mackie backed
away to let the women watch the computer.  Sylia reached out and punched a
key, activating the audio.

[His left eye twitching, Andrew wordlessly hands Nanami a Kleenex. She
takes it and plugs her nose.]

Andrew: You need not stare.

Nanami: [grinning] Sorry. Shall I stare at you instead?

Andrew: Wot?

Gaspode: [wakes up] You two doin' that again?

Andrew: When did you fall asleep?

Gaspode: Back when I stopped sayin' anyfing. [goes back to sleep]

"...bunch of centerfolds, especially Nene and Linna!"  A small cheer rose
from Nene.

Andrew: Hmm...I'd expect them to be a little offended at being called
"centerfolds", no matter how flatteringly put....

Linna smiled at Priss's nonplussed expression.  "Feeling a little green?"

Priss began to snap back at her, when she caught the singing coming from the
screen.  She pushed Nene out of the way and listened carefully.  "That's
Sting," she murmured.  "If I Ever Lose My Faith in You, 1993."  She glared
Nene into silence as the red-head began to speak, and listened further.
"He's got a good voice.  Baritone, too low for that song, but very good."

Andrew: Someday, Chris, if we ever meet up, we have to do some karaoke.

Nanami: Do I want to be there for that?

Andrew: Hey, you were the one who wanted to hear me sing, right?

Nanami: ...

Linna suddenly made a choked noise that got the other three women's
attention.  "Sylia, which shower is that?"

Mackie decided this was a very good time to vacate the premises.

Andrew: [Happosai voice] I'm so proud of you, my boy! Now, in the
tradition of Anything Goes Perverted Enjoyment, RUN!

"The one in the lab," Sylia replied, confused, and then an angry scowl came
to her face as she realized what Linna was getting at.  Priss began to
swear, and Nene's face flushed with fury.

"MAAAAACKIIIIIE!"

Nanami, Andrew: WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

***

The salesman stared in glee at the giant of a man who walked in the door.
Finally, someone other than one of those ridiculous bodyguard boomers to
clothe.  "Can I help you, Sir?"

The man smirked down at him.  "Let's start with shirts, shall we?"  He
jerked his thumb over his shoulder at the red-head and brunette who followed
him in.  "I think they're a bit embarrassed to be seen with me like this."

"Right away, sir!"

A few hours later, Chris had managed to find a few plain T-shirts that fit

Andrew: Hours?

Nanami: What's wrong with that?

Andrew: No _man_ EVER goes clothes shopping for HOURS.

Nanami: [narrowed eyes] And what is _that_ supposed to mean?

Andrew: Um....

[whap]

Andrew: Would you stop that?

him without being too tight, as well as some dress shirts in various dark
shades of the rainbow.  The pants were an assortment of jeans, both blue and
black, as well as a couple Dockers.  The ensemble was crowned with a
forest-green trenchcoat that swirled around Chris's legs as he walked.  He
practically skipped out of the store, Sylia's credit card nearly a hundred
thousand newyen poorer.

Nanami: Ow.

"I thought guys hated shopping," Nene complained as she lugged along a bag
of clothes to Linna's minivan, the only vehicle next to the Knight Saber's
actual trucks that Chris could fit in.

Andrew: See! You see?

Nanami: Hmph.

"I'm weird that way," Chris cheerily replied.  "I get this unbelievable
thrill out of spending someone else's money."  He dumped his several bags in

Nanami: Heh.

Linna's van, then took Nene's and Linna's burdens and did the same, just in
time to feel a twinge from his midsection.  "Hmm...Chris hungry," he rumbled
in a neanderthalic voice.  "Chris need food now."

Linna sighed and locked the back of the van.  "Any requests?"

"Sushi!" Chris cheered.

Nene made a retching nose.  "Yuck!  How can you eat that stuff?"  She
glanced over at Linna who nodded agreement.  "Pick something else...like
burgers!"   Chris suddenly burst out laughing.  The two women started in
surprise, and then both began to look rather irritated as their companion
leaned against the van and doubled over was he laughed.  "What's so funny?"
Nene demanded.

Gasping in an attempt to catch his breath, Chris pointed a shaking finger at
the pair.  "The two Japanese want burgers, and the North American wants
sushi.  How's that for weird?"  He shook his head mirthfully, and
straightened.  "Fine, fine, burgers."

Andrew: That's...odd, certainly. And as for Linna's case--isn't sashimi
healthy for you?

Nanami: Lowers chances of colon and other digestive tract cancers.

[Both of them blink a bit.]

Andrew: Okay, let's shift out of medical factoid mode, shall we?

As the trio walked, they found themselves at the receiving end of multiple
stares, some of them fearful.  They often heard the word "boomer" whispered
from one person to the next.  Linna and Nene found it amusing at first,
especially the way people made to move out of their way, but as Chris's
temper degraded with each whisper, their humor left them.  They were just
about ready to strangle someone by the time they reached the restaurant.

Andrew: Poor guy. I'd get pretty pissed, too.

They were led to a window seat, where Chris ended up sitting next to Nene
and facing Linna, so that his feet were out of the girls' way.  "If this is
what I get to look forward to when living here, this is really going to
suck," Chris complained.  "Jeez, I thought boomers were these big huge
hulking things..." he trailed off as he considered that sentence. "Just like
I am now.  Oh joy, oh happy day."

Nanami: Ow.

"Actually," Nene mused, "you're taller than most of the BU-55's, they're
usually only 2 meters tall."

"Great," Chris groaned sarcastically, "I'm MORE imposing than a boomer. This
is supposed to make me feel better?"  He heard someone clear their throat
beside him, and he turned to glare at the person.  "WHAT?"  The waitress
jumped in fright, and Chris smacked himself on the forehead.
"Sorry...sorry..."

It took the poor girl a few moments gather herself.  "W-w-would y-you
l-l-like to o-order now?"

"Garden salad," Chris said.  "With lemon slices, no dressing."  He noticed
the his two companions staring at him.  "Well excuse me for not eating
meat," he said defensively.

Andrew: How could you not like a big chunk of bloody red meat?!

Linna was looking him up and down with an incredulous look.  "You really
don't seem the type, Chris.  Somehow I picture you with a big huge greasy
hamburger in your hands."

Nanami: Ick.

Andrew: What's wrong with a greasy burger?

Nanami: You're going to die of cholesterol poisoning someday, aren't you?

Andrew: Me?

"Yeah," agreed Nene.  "With lots of fries and a big milkshake..." her eyes
glazed.

[Andrew and Nanami snicker. Gaspode drools in his sleep.]

Andrew: Oh, yuck. I'm going to have to clean that up....

"I guess we know what SHE wants," Chris chuckled, watching the diminutive
red-head in her trance.  "I'm not a vegetarian, I just don't like eating a
lot of meat.  I got more than enough of that as a kid."

Linna made her order quickly, and the three talked as they waited for the
waitress.  "Have you considered what you're going to do here?"

Chris nodded his head, a look of dismay on his face.  "Not a clue," he
admitted.  "What can I do?  I'm an engineer, yeah, but in technology and
techniques more than thirty years out of date.  The computers I was using in
my day are primitive compared to your watch."  He looked at his hands.
"Gee, I know how to program...wait, thirty years later, I'd be surprised if
you do low-level code-jockeying  like I know anymore.  I am to Megatokyo
what an nineteenth century scientist would be to my era.  WAY useless."

Andrew: Usually, feeling useless is the domain of the elderly, isn't it?

Nene patted him on the arm sympathetically.  "Don't worry," she soothed,
"we'll find something for you to do."  She winked at Linna, and began
listing things of on her fingers.  "You could work at the Silky Doll..."

"NO WAY!"

Andrew: Well, he's not as perverted as some people, yes?

Nanami: Perverted enough.

"...or maybe some modeling - some girls like the hulking type..."

"I'm flattered.  Not."

"...or you could join ADP..."

"Yaright."

Nanami: The idea is to _live_.

"...OR," Nene let the word hang in the air, drawing out the suspense, "you
could always talk to Priss.  She thinks you've got a great singing voice."

Chris considered that one.  "Well, I DO have six years of vocal training,
one of it formal," he mused, then his eyes widened.  "How exactly do you
know about my singing voice?" he asked in a very even, controlled voice,

Andrew: Uh-oh.

first glaring at Nene, who blushed sheepishly, then at Linna, who tried to
look innocent and failed.  "I think I'm going to have a very long talk with
Mackie."

Nanami: This must be the first time a male has gotten ticked off at
Mackie's habits....

Linna looked alarmed.  "Now Chris, wait, there's no need to do anything bad
to him," she began.

"Oh please," Chris interrupted with a disgusted look.  "Do I look like the
violent type?"  He got a mock indignant expression on his face.  "I like to
think of myself as a big teddy-bear, thank you very much," he said in an

Andrew: Teddy bear?

Nanami: That's...interesting.

injured tone, and Linna looked relieved.  "No, I was going to ask him to
help me get some pictures of you four...after all, my room will need
decorating."  He held his hands up like he was straightening a painting.
"Picture it.  Life sized posters of my four new friends wearing nothing at
all..."

[Nanami opens her mouth.]

"CHRIS!"  Nene and Linna gasped, scandalized.

"...but their skinsuits," he finished smoothly, then grinned evilly.
"Gotcha."

[Nanami shuts her mouth and scowls.]

Andrew: Like I said, he's not _that_ perverted.

Nanami: And like _I_ said, he's perverted enough. [grumble]

"Ooooh...you," Nene fumed, and then punched him in the shoulder as hard as
she could. "JERK!"

"Oww!" Chris yelped, and rubbed his wounded shoulder ruefully.  "You pack a
mean punch in such a little frame."  He looked around peevishly as his
stomach rumbled.  "Wherefore my food is?  Hungry am I!"

Gaspode: Wot's with his caveman speech?

Andrew: Probably like me and my archaisms.

Gaspode: He hasn't eaten anything yet.

Andrew: Never mind.

Nanami: You know, that didn't make much sense.

[Gaspode goes back to sleep.]

Andrew: Like I said, I'm still not fully awake, somehow.

On cue, the waitress came out of the kitchen, doing the amazing balancing
act usually involved in getting the food to the table.  As she reached their
table, she took a glance out the window and froze completely.  The dishes
she carried slipped from her numb finger and went crashing to the ground.
Nene and Chris yelled in complaint, but the waitress merely pointed a
shaking hand at the window.

"Oh shit," Chris said softly.  Outside the window was a large hulking
humanoid figure.  It was a good twenty centimeters shorter than Chris, but
was much broader in the shoulders, upper body, and hips.  It was covered in
tatters of plastic-seeming flesh and cheap clothing.  At its feet was the
mangled remains of a business man.  As they watched, the boomers mouth
opened grotesquely large and a brilliant blue beam shot out of it, turning
the ADP squad car that was entering the scene into a orange-yellow fireball.
"Linna..."

Andrew: Wai! Action scene!

Linna had her cellular phone out, and was punching a number on it
frantically.  "I know! I know!" she yelled as she sunk down in her seat.
Nene had already done so, and was now peeking over the window to watch the
boomer's rampage.  She shrieked as car not too far from the restaurant was
detonated by another blast of the mouth-cannon.

"Nene," Chris spoke in a strangely calm tone, "how long does it usually take
ADP to get to the sight of an attack?"

Andrew: You mean, "site".

"About ten minutes," she replied.  "Why?" She then noticed Linna on the
phone and hissed, "Tell Sylia to hurry!"

"Linna," he continued after moment, "how long does Sylia say she'll take?"
He stood, and was looking around the restaurant.

"She put her ETA at fifteen," she said.  "She told us to try and head down
the street for a rendezvous."

Nanami: Hmm...how long do the Sabers usually take to get into action?

Andrew: Ah! _You_ haven't seen the anime yet, either!

Nanami: Shut up.

"I see," Chris said evenly.  "Let's go."  He picked up his jacket from
beside Linna, threw it over his shoulder, and started to run out of the
deli, the two women hot on his heels.  He stopped just before the door.
"Which way?"

Linna pushed past him roughly.  "Follow me!"  she cried as she dashed out
the door, thankfully turning right, away from the boomer's area of control.
They ran down the block, hitting the ground once when another explosion
occurred behind them.

Chris stood and looked behind them, and what he saw sent a shiver down his
spine.  The ADP had arrived ahead of schedule, but were woefully under
equipped.  The boomer was making short work of the front-line officers,
literally tearing them apart at times. Chris knew if he had actually eaten

Andrew: Oh, now that was more than I wanted to know....

he would have been busy emptying his stomach at that moment.  Nene and Linna
noted the shock he was in and grabbed his arms, dragging him along as best
they could.  He shook them off after a few steps as they went by an alley,
and darted in side.  The women followed him.  "I have to do something," he
said in carefully controlled voice.

Linna and Nene exchanged a nervous look, and Linna spoke.  "Chris, now hold
on, we'll just wait until Sylia gets here with the suits..."

"And how many people will die before then?" he demanded.  "No freaking way."

Nanami: Here we go, one of Chris's objections to the other BGC self-
inserts. Disregard for all the death and destruction going on.

Andrew: Perhaps, the other authors kept on thinking, "This is just a
story." Nice touch, that Chris here really feels like he's there.

Nanami: Well, according to Kami-sama, this is an actually created
universe....

He closed his eyes and his forehead wrinkled as he went into deep
concentration.  A sort of dark shadow rose into his face, and then a silvery
sheen formed on his skin.  As the two women watched, Chris lost inches of
height and girth as armor formed over his skin. On his face, the metal grew
out into a sort of helmeted shape, with a slit for eyes and a grill over the
mouth.

Andrew: Hmm...interesting way of altering his abilities to fit the
cyberpunk genre.

Chris' shirt became tight over his arms, then burst suddenly as a long blade
extended from his right forearm, seemingly growing out of his arm as it
lengthened to nearly three feet.  On his left arm, a similar blade formed,
much shorter and wider, the blade growing in general area but not in length
until it looked like a shield more than a blade.  His shoes exploded under
the sudden pressure from inside as alloyed boots formed over his feet.

"That...hurt," Chris gasped, then looked himself over.  As the two women
gaped at Chris' sudden transformation, he scowled with disgust at the
remains of his clothes.  "Good thing I wasn't wearing the jacket," he
muttered.  He turned his helmeted gaze onto Nene.  "Remind me to strip next
time I do this."  She sort of nodded dumbly as he handed her his jacket.

Nanami: Nodding dumbly, or nodding with expectation? [grin]

Andrew: I'd [whap] you for that, but I don't hit girls.

Nanami: [big grin] Oh, what a gentleman. [smiles one of those melting
kinds of smiles]

Andrew: [now a puddle] *burble*

Linna gasped and grabbed Chris' upper arm.  "Are you insane?" she yelled.
"You've never fought a boomer before!"

"So I'm supposed to let it make mincemeat out of some innocent people?" he
demanded.

Nene found her voice again, and decided to join the argument.  "You're not
supposed to go get yourself killed!"

Andrew: [recovered] Here's that interference bit, yes?

Chris made to hold up his hand in surrender, and the two women yelped and
jumped back as the blade rose through the air.  "Sorry," Chris said
sheepishly, and his upper body heaved with a sigh.  "Look, we've got a
couple minutes before Sylia gets here.  I'll do my best to play it safe, and
just give the thing another target instead of cops and innocent people to
blow up, OK?"

"IT'S NOT OK!" the pair insisted, but Chris ignored them and started walking
out the alley.  Linna ran to put herself in her path, but he used his
shield-arm to gently but firmly push her out of the way.

"I'm sorry, Linna.  I just can't do nothing."  He walked out into the street
and faced back the way they had come.  "Now, let's see what he did about my
other powers," he murmured.  He began to run towards the combat, his speed
picking up as he ran, until he could feel more than hear the wind his
passage made as he moved.  *So, instead of a time freeze, I'm kind of like
the Flash,* he decided.  He made an experimental jump, and landed back on
the ground with a slight stumble that sent sparks off the cement.  *Damn.
No flight.  I wonder if I can do force bolts?*

Nanami: He's in trouble.

Andrew: Ayep.

***

"Uh...Leon?" Daley called, rapping on the outside of the powered suit.

"You called?" came back Leon's voice, a slight artificial twang to it as it
was piped by the suits pickups.  A moment later, a panel on the front of the
suit swung open, revealing Leon's face.  He was currently busy putting the
suit through its startup checks.  "Damn K-11's," he swore.  "I can't wait
until we get those K-12S', these things are a pain in the ass."

"That's my point," Daley insisted.  "That boomer's fusion-capable.  Remember
the last time someone went up against a fusion-capable boomer in one of
these?  They picked him up with a straw."

Nanami: Wak.

Andrew: Anyone care to explain what exactly a fusion boomer is? I can't
afford the anime, for the time being.

Leon began to sweat and turned a bit green at the memory.  "Don't remind
me," he pleaded.  "The tech-boys tell me that I just have to make sure it
doesn't touch me for long, and I should be safe.  Relatively," he amended.

"Just be careful, OK?" Daley asked, and then smirked slightly.  "And when
you come back I'm all yours, sugar."

"Not tonight, dear," Leon replied automatically, and they shared a short

Andrew: Oy.

Nanami: [giggle] It's all in good fun.

chuckle.  With the completion of the pre-startup checks, a whir of powering
up micro-motors and the hiss of hydraulics signaled the activation of the
suit.  Daley backed out of the way as Leon guided the lumbering suit towards
the scene of the battle.

As he reached the engagement area, he realized 'massacre' would have been a
better word for it.  The causalities among the ADP were already in the
dozens, and the fire from the short machineguns and shotguns the front-line
officers were using was doing little more than making a pretty light show on
the boomer's armor.

To make matters worse, some idiot had tried to go hand-to-hand with the

Andrew: To borrow a term from a friend of mine--"Foolishness!"

monster, and had managed to do little more than get himself killed and
provide the boomer with its own machinegun to use on the ADP.  As Leon

Nanami: Why would the boomer bother with a machine gun?

watched, his powered suit moving through the gap in the barricade the
officers formed, the boomer ran out of ammo and decided to go back to using
its internal weaponry.  Panels on the boomer's chest swung open, revealing
the reflectors and lenses of a heat ray.  Seconds later, a patrol car was
nothing more than a pile of molten metal.  As its sensors picked up Leon's
approach, the boomer turned to face him.

Andrew: World of hurt.

Nanami: [shudder] World of death, more like it.

Andrew: Yeah.

YOU CALLED?

Andrew: Did...did you hear something?

Nanami: No....

Andrew: Ah, heh....

Leon brought up the huge monstrosity known as his suit's main weapon, and
fired a burst of the caseless rounds at the boomer.  It leapt out of the way
of the shots, but not quite fast enough, and its left arm was shorn off at
the elbow.  Rocket boosters snapped out of the monstrosity's back, and it
changed the direction of its leap to bring it closer to Leon, who tried to
lock on for another shot.

The second burst missed entirely, and Leon was rocked as the boomer landed
on him.  A metallic snarl tore from its throat as it tried to use its
wounded arm to fuse with the suit and thankfully failed due to Leon's
struggles.  It then tried to fuse with the suit's gun, but before it could
Leon threw it off with a punch from his free manipulator.  Leon cursed as
the onboard computer reported damage to the left hand from the punch, and
opened a com-link.  "Damn it, Daley, we need some heavy artillery here!
Where the hell are the guys with the Gerlich?"

With a crackle of static, Daley's voice came back over the channel.  "Some
idiot forgot to replace the barrel, we have to pull one from the next unit.
Think you can last five minutes?"  The Gerlich was an incredibly powerful
rifle that was known to punch holes through entire blocks of buildings with
a single shot.  It was the favorite tool in the ADP armory for a quick-kill.
Unfortunately, it went though barrels almost as fast as the guys in supply
could get them.

Nanami: Going through _barrels_?

Andrew: Now, that's a gun I'd like to see. [grin]

"Do I have a choice?" Leon bitterly returned, and tried to lay another burst
on the boomer. This time, it leapt right towards him, over the fire from the
machinegun.   The tips of its fingers glinted as the razor claws were
deployed, and Leon couldn't even react in time to stop them from shearing
the gun in half.  He tried to punch away the boomer again, but it weaved
around the fist and then tore the whole arm off, sending Leon flying through
the air as it did so.  The suit flew through a storefront and lay in a
tangled heap.

"LEON!" Daley's voice burst into his ears.  "Are you OK?"

"What does it look like?" Leon said as he tried to level the suit back to
its feet.  "Crap, my optics are screwed, where the hell is he?"  Silence was
his only response.  "Daley!"  Nothing.  "DALEY!"

"Leon," his partner said in a kind of awed voice.  "You have to see this."

"What?"

"Some guy in armor just walked into the engagement area."

Andrew: Woohoo!

Leon made a kind of grunt, and gave up trying to bring his suit back to
operational status, and began working on getting himself out of the thing.
"Yay, the Knight Sabers here again to save the ADP."

"This isn't the Knight Sabers, Leon, there's some guy here that looks like
he's made of metal standing there!  He-it's got this huge blade on one arm
and a big shield on the other!" Daley's voice was getting into the hysterics
range.

Leon practically tore the cockpit open and looked out at the combat, and
stared with his jaw agape at the sight.  A guy, with what seemed to be a
medieval helmet on his head and these ridiculous weapons was facing off
against the boomer, which seemed almost as surprised as everyone else.

Nanami: Shades of a sentai show.

Andrew: Sort of.

***

"Shit, that's gotta be Leon," Chris growled as he came on the scene, and saw
the power suit fly through the air and go crashing into a store.  "I hope
he's not hurt," he prayed as he made his way through the officers.  He was
almost at the barricade before someone thought to stop him.

"Hey!  What the hell do you think you're doing?" an officer yelled at him.
He leveled his shotgun at Chris, and chambered a round.  "What are you
supposed to be?"

Andrew: What an idiot. You take any help you can get.

"I'm saving lives," Chris returned, and his right arm blurred.  The shotgun
was sliced in two right between the officer's hands.  "And I'm out of your
league."  With that, he jumped over the battered patrol car that was the
last part of the barricade, and walked into the battlefield.

The boomer turned to face him, and stopped as if surprised.  For a long
second Chris and the boomer merely looked at each other, and then almost as
if it shrugged the boomer leapt at Chris, the tips of its remaining hand
gleaming.  Chris dodged the attack, side-stepping to allow the boomer to ram
itself into the car behind him.  Chris backed up a few steps as the boomer
tore its way out of the car, and then fired its mouth cannon at him.

Chris barely had time to cross his arms in front of him to catch the blast,
and he found himself flying though the air to land near where the powered
suit had previously landed.  He took in deep shuddering gasps to try to
regain the breath the attack had knocked out of him.  "Important safety
tip," Chris said to himself.  "Photons have momentum, dumbass!"  He worked
himself to his feet.  "First year physics and I forget."  He looked out to

Andrew: Oh, yeah. Solar wind and all that good stuff.

[Nanami looks at him oddly.]

Andrew: Hey, just 'cos I'm a philosopher now doesn't mean I forget all my
science. Knowledge isn't tied to roles, you know.

see where the boomer was, and saw it using its heat ray on the ADP again.
"Short attention span on that one," he remarked as he ran back out.

This time, Chris used his inherent speed advantage to the utmost, not
stopping his motion at all in an attempt to deny the boomer an easy target.
The boomer tried to compensate for this by using it's mouth laser in a
sweeping motion, and Chris yelled in pain as the beam swept over his chest.
Looking down, he noticed the armor on his chest had been carbonized to some
extent, and was now flaking off.

Andrew: Ow.

Nanami: Another important lesson: never take your attention away from your
opponent.

The boomer took advantage of Chris' distraction, leaping towards him with
it's razor claws outstretched again. Instead of merely dodging, Chris
deflected the attack with his shield arm and drove his blade arm forward,
driving it through the abdomen of the boomer and tearing it out sideways,
leaving a gaping hole in the boomer's body and sending a seeming river of
orange nutrient fluid spraying.

Nanami: Ah, he got lucky....

Snarling in seeming anger, it shoved it's damaged arm into Chris' chest, but
the tentacles slid across it as they attempted to fuse and found nothing to
latch onto.  Chris was not idle during this, and swung his sword arm back to
slice the boomer again in the abdomen, this time halving it into two.

The mortal damage sent the boomer into a berserk rage, and it latched onto
Chris with it's good arm.  Its mouth opened and Chris found himself looking
into the barrel of a laser cannon.  He closed his eyes in anticipation, and

Andrew: Eek!

felt the boomer lurch, but no attack.  Opening his eyes, he caught the last
embers of the red glow in the eyes of the machine, and it fell to the
ground.  The side of the head smoked from a laser hole through the temple.

Chris looked around, and saw three battlesuits at the edge of the barricade,
standing on top of an APC, one white, one green, and one pink.  The white
one had its arm out in firing position.  "Hi girls," he called cheerily, and
fainted as he felt white-hot pain explode on his chest in time with the end
of his adrenaline rush.

Nanami: Yup, he got lucky.

Leon and Daley watched in amazement as the green and white Knight Sabers
gathered up the armored man and carry him off with a boost of jumpjets.  The
pink one remained for a moment to laser-scribble the Saber's calling card in
the cement before following the others.

"I'd say we just saw the first combat of the fifth Saber," Daley said
numbly.

"He was cocky," Leon scoffed.  "He'd better learn quick or his life span's
going to be pretty damn short."  He suddenly chuckled.  "It's somehow
comforting, though.  About time they got a man on the job."

"Leon, you're a pig," Daley laughed.

"Yeah, but I'm a handsome pig."

[Nanami elbows Andrew.]

Andrew: Hey! What was that for?

Nanami: [grin] You're the nearest male. I'm obligated to do that.

[Andrew mutters.]

***

Chris' first view upon waking up was Sylia's and Linna's face looking down
on him.  "We've got to stop meeting like this," he murmured, and then howled
as pain burned across his chest.  "Crap, that hurts!"

"There's a reason we don't do solo actions, Chris," Sylia said sternly.  "In
case you didn't know, your body re-absorbs the metal after half an hour of
unconsciousness.  Also, damage to your armor seems to translate into damage
to YOU.  If we hadn't been nearby, you'd be in a Genom research lab right
now, and they'd probably be dissecting you."

Andrew: There's your unpleasant thought for the week....

Chris felt his temper rise.  He was in pain, he had just fought a killing
machine, and a lot of people had just died, and somehow he felt guilty for
it.  "Gee, nice to know I've been drafted," he snapped.  "Next time I'll be
sure to just let people die and wait for backup!"

Nanami: Bad choice of words.

Sylia recoiled as if slapped and Linna's face flushed.  "If we hadn't
arrived with our suits when we did, you would be dead right now!" she
yelled, and jabbed her finger at Chris' bandaged chest.  Pain blossomed from
the contact, and he yelled from the shock as Linna continued.  "You've got

Nanami: But that probably wasn't necessary, either....

third-degree burns from a sweeping blow, you ungrateful idiot.  If a
sustained blast had hit you in the face, the coffin would have been a hell
of a lot shorter!"

"If that would have saved lives, then so be it," Chris said softly, and
levered himself up to a sitting position, hissing as his chest protested.
Linna and Sylia were looking at him in disbelief.  "Look, it's the way I was
trained to feel and to think.  My brother was a doctor, my father was a
medical researcher, and I'm an engineer.  I've had 'for the good of mankind'
drilled into me since I was a kid.  My job, back in my world, was to PROTECT

Andrew: Not good if it leads to a martyr complex, now.

my sisters.  That kind of attitude is something that's a part and parcel of
me."  He looked with calm eyes at Sylia.  "That's what you get with me,
Sylia.  If it's a choice between a life and the mission, then the mission be
damned.  Even your personal vendetta against Genom takes second place."

Linna put her hand on Chris' shoulder, and looked earnestly into his eyes.
"Do you think we don't understand that?  The Knight Sabers have fought
boomers countless times for no monetary gain at all.  If lives were so cheap
to us, we would let the ADP fight and die with every military boomer that
shows up."

"If lives were so cheap to me, Chris," Sylia said, a hurt tone in her voice,
"I would simply carry a nuclear bomb into Genom's buildings and accept the
millions of casualties something like that would cause."  She turned and
began to walk out of the room, stopping before the door.  "I'm not asking
you to let people die.  I'm asking you to think before you act.  Suicide
serves no one, Chris."  With that, she exited the room.  Linna began to
follow her, pausing to give Chris a dark look.

Andrew: Very good point. Like I said, martyr complex....

Shame washed over Chris as he realized what he had accused Sylia and the
rest of the Sabers of.  They weren't cold-blooded mercenaries, and he knew
it.  "Damn," he cursed, lying back on the table.  "Damn my bloody temper,
and my freaking smart mouth."  He covered his face with his hands, and then
began to massage his temples.  "Damn."

***

"How is he?" Nene asked.  Sylia didn't say anything as she poured herself
some wine and sat at the window.  Linna came in a moment later and flopped
on the couch.  "What happened?"

"He's fine," Sylia said shortly.  "He just has a bad burn on his chest."
She paused, and took a sip of her drink.  "Right now, Chris has some things
about himself and us to consider."

Nanami: Hmm. Angst. Always a lot of fun. ^_^

The muffled sound of a motorcycle's roar came through the glass, and Sylia
looked down into the street to see Priss pulling up to the Lady's 633.  She
parked her bike and made her way towards the building.  A few moments later
there was a sound from the buzzer, and Priss entered the apartment and
removed her helmet.

"I saw the news," she said with a smirk.  "He didn't do half bad for his
first time."  She suddenly laughed.  "Mr. 'Saber Silver' is a damn sight
better than the ADP."

Andrew: Heh!

Chris who had made his way up from the lab, groaned from the doorway behind
her.  "Saber Silver?  Oh please, you've GOT to be kidding me.  Who came up
with that?"

"The Press, who else?" Priss grinned.

He walked in, and stood before Sylia.  "I apologize for what I implied, I
should have known better.  I'm yours, if you'll have me."  As she smiled
enigmatically, he blushed and amended the statement.  "For the TEAM.
Sheesh."

Nanami: See? I told you! Ecchi.

Andrew: Geez, you're starting to sound like Skuld.

[poke]

Andrew: Ow. Hmm, at least you're being a little less violent.

"Did I miss something?" Priss whispered to Nene.

Nene shrugged.  "I'm as lost as you."

"Well then," Sylia began, her voice once again becoming that of a commander.
"It appears we've gained a second Close Combat Specialist."  She held out
her hand to Chris.  "Welcome to the Knight Sabers."

Chris couldn't help the grin on his face as he shook her hand.

Andrew: Well!

Nanami: Well!

Andrew: That took me a bloody hour and a half. I have GOT to work on my
paper now.

Nanami: Good stuff, Chris. Keep it up.

>From Andrew Huang, brought to you by his computer, Oddzilla
Oddzilla says, "Mmmmm...Evanjellydonut...."
http://www.hcs.harvard.edu/~alhuang/
Harvard Anime Society, President