Well, hello. I'm sorry this took so long, but maybe _this_ will explain
it:

As I write this, I get that feeling which I usually do whenever I read a
lot of fanfics and see very little if any of the actual shows(movies,
comics, etc.); emptiness, like loneliness, but without pain, just the
hollow feeling and a tiredness, but not inasmuch physical as mental. In
other words, fanfiction is seriously fucking with my brain. But then
again, when are they not?
Oh yeah: After ep 3, I will no longer be recycling old RD eps unless I
have to.


                              *                     *                    
*
The Blue Midget bobbed through space like a drunken sparrow. Ranma wasn't
known for his piloting skills. Of course, dodging Puku was a small
problem he had to deal with. "Anyway, Ryoga, why won't you tell me where
the holo-disks are?" "Because you'll switch me with Kochanski. Then I'll
be reallly dead!!"Ryoga had had Washu scan a captain's formal uniform for
him. Sure, he had only ranked as 'Technician, 2nd class', but there was
no use to scare the survivors.  "Look, I promise to bring you back?" This
was met by silence, which was all there was for the rest of the trip,
except for occasional screaming when Puku attached herself to Ranma's
inner thigh, or attempted to. 

They finally made to the ship. After being introduced to Kasumi and
dragging Puku away from a mirror(in-joke), they walked into the room
where the survivors were. And got a major shock as they saw 3 admittedly
well-cleaned corpses. "Oh my god, it's the cybernetic version of Norman
Bates!" Ryoga muttered. While the holographic man left to explore the
ship, Ranma tried a different tactic. "So, Kasumi........You realize the
crew is dead, don't'cha?" "Dead?!!!!! Sir, in all due respect, I am a
highly sophisticated mechanoid. I'd think I would know whether or not my
crew is dead." "Okay, let's try it this way; everybody alive, raise their
hands." Ranma raised his hand: the corpses didn't. "Oh, my......."
Realization dawned, and Kasumi felt tremendous pangs of guilt. She had
failed her crew. "I'm soooo sorry," she said as she prepared to
disassemble herself. Ranma stopped her. "Hey, it's not that bad.
Besides....we could use a cleaning maid....."  "REALLY!!!!!OH, THANK YOU
SIR!!!!!!!! I'LL PACK RIGHT AWAY, SIR!!!!!!!!" After giving Ranma a hug
that came close to dislocating his shoulders, she ran to her room to get
her tapes of 'Here is Greenwood'. Puku immediately tackled Ranma, who
started screaming, etc.

Ryoga inspected the corridor. He hadn't found much stuff, here. Just
.....emptiness. The place had been cleaned a little _too_ well. He
wondered how long that psycho droid had been here alone, with nothing but
one series of anime to watch. <No wonder she snapped-> Ryoga got a major
shock to his system as he saw a blue haired girl materialize out of
nowhere, and walk towards him. Suddenly, she faded again, and the
sequence repeated. Ryoga stared in disgust. <A scratched disk. What a
smegging waste.> But, he still felt hope. Maybe one of the disks wasn't
scratched, maybe there would be someone he could talk to, could actually
_feel_, to share this loneliness he felt. He frantically went through the
disk archive. 
But, there was nothing. They had all been scratched during the accident
that had downed the ship. Ryoga slumped in misery. <Oh well, at least we
can salvage the-THAT'S IT!!!!!> 
Inspiration struck.  

After salvaging what they could and getting Kasumi, the crew left for
home. Now that they had cow's milk from the Nova 5, they coult eject all
the dog's milk, making a comet for some future alien race to wonder at.
Ryoga was unnaturally happy, even humming. Ranma chalked it up to him
finding some magazines or videos in one of the abandoned rooms. After
they got home and installed the Nova 5's components in the 'Dwarf, Ryoga
said that he had an announcement to make. 

(main conference room)
(Ranma, Puku, and Kasumi sit at desks, waiting to Ryoga's big speech.
Ranma is talking to Kasumi.)
Ranma:-therefore, you should _NOT_ , under any circumstances, clean the
computers, engines, or any other type of electronic appliance, without my
_direct_ permission. got that?
Kasumi: Yes, sir!!
(Ryoga walks into the room, accompanied by a few 'skutters', SD worker
robots that operate, clean,etc. the ship. Washu's face appears on the
main monitor.)
Ryoga: Hello everyone. I am here to announce something that shall change
our lives as we-
Washu: Cut the speech short, baka. I paused Acid Tetris.
Ryoga: -As you might know, supporting only one hologram takes a
phenomenal amount of power, so the ship only has me. However, thanks to
the Nova 5, our holographic projector can make a copy of whatever
hologram is online-
(an exact copy of Ryoga appears)
Ryoga[2]: -And that's me!!!!!!!!!
Ranma: Oh boy.
Kasumi: Oh, My!!
Puku:(glomps ranma) Oh, Ranma.......
Ranma:(tries to run) OHMYGOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And so, Ryoga cloned himself. It was generally the same for the crew of
the Dwarf. However, there was one major problem with living with your
clone. You eventually get into a little friendly competion. However,
since you both start out equal, the stakes become that much higher;
insults are made; insecurity is felt,and eventually, it's only a matter
of who snaps first.............

"Whatsamatter, 'P-chan'?!!!! Too slow?"
"SHUT UP!!!! DO YOU HEAR ME??!!!!!"
"YOU shut up, clone!!!!!"
"No, you're my clone!!"
"No, you're mine, bacon boy!!!"
"SHUT UP!!!!!!!!"
The yelling was what woke Ranma up. As soon as he did, he looked down and
saw Puku had attached herself to him and was snoring. After doing some
serious manuvering, Ranma managed to slip out of his cat's grasp. He
walked directly into the middle of an extremely violent duel between the
two quarreling holograms, who both had black rings around their bloodshot
eyes and were screaming out shishi hokodan perfects like there was no
tomorrow, which did no damage to Ranma because he was a human, not a
hologram. "Alright, both of you, cut it out now!!!!" "He started it!!!!!"
"No, Bacon-Breath started it!" "DON'T CALL ME THAT BAKAYARO!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ranma sighed as he realized what he had to do. "Okay, we're gonna settle
this right now, right here. Everybody to the Engine Room."

(Engine Room)

(Ranma is sitting down at a table, while the two Ryogas stand and wait
for what he has to say. Puku is licking herself(Like any CAT would, ya
freaks). Washu is playing a real hard game of Acid Tetris.)

Ranma: I need some sleep, OK? so, I'll flip a coin to see who gets erased
or not. _You_ get heads, _you_ get tails. (Flips coin) aaaaaaand it's
tails. Nice knowing ya, pal.
Ryoga:(Shocked)-wha?!
Ryoga[2]:(smirking) Hahaha.

(later, Ryoga is about to get erased and marches in, in funeral wear.)

Ranma: Ryoga.....Before you go, I gotta ask you a question.
Ryoga: Yeah, what?
Ranma: What is it with the 'bacon' jokes?
Ryoga:(Visibly flinches) I guess I might as well, I'm about to die again.
Well.......back in the day, I got a pet pig for my birthday. Named him
P-chan. One day, my parents had bacon for breakfast. I never saw P-chan
again, and it was years before I figured it out. Anyway, a while back I
got invitied to an officer's party. I mean, big stuff! I got to sit by
the captain, it could have gottrn me some major points with the crew,
socially! But then, we saw the main course. (Shivers) Bacon. Lots of it.
Texans don't eat that much during a week!! I instantly remembered P-chan,
and ran off screaming. Well, that's the whole story. I guess you can
erase me now.
Ranma:(grins) I don't have to, buddy. I erased the other one as soon as
he went out the door.
Ryoga: WHAT!!!!!!
Ranma: Hey, I only wanted to hear your story, man-
Ryoga: Promise you won't tell!!!
Ranma:(bigsweats) Um, Ryoga, we're probably the last humans in the
galaxy-
Ryoga:Promise!!!!!
Ranma: OK, OK, I promise.
Ryoga: Thank you.
Ranma: Now; time for breakfast. You ever had eggs with-
[ext. shot of the 'Dwarf as we hear crashing noises and repeated screams
of "HAM!!!! I MEANT TO SAY HAM!!!!!]
[ending theme song]












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