"Mystery Science Theater 3000: Version Fanfic" Written by Emman
Part 1

This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author. Use of
copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only;

no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by Best
Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.

All characters, movies, OAV's, etc. are the property of the respecting
company. Please direct any legal problems to ffemman@geocities.com.
There is no intended infringement of any copyrights.

"Ranma 1/2: The Truth is Out There...?" was written by Anne Packrat. It
belongs entirely to the author. Don't be offended. Please. We all write
mediocre stories once in our lives. (I've had a few bad experiences with

a lemon....). Please take this as a form of criticism. Thanks. Please
direct any comments, flames, love letters, and all merchandise to :
ffemman@geocities.com


(SOL)
(Bridge, around lunch time)
 "Stay here, Joel, and, ohh, cover your eyes!", Tom Servo was yelling at

Joel, and pushing him into the middle of the bridge.
 "Why? What's this big surprise?", Joel was less than enthusiastic.
 "Oh, come on! It's gonna be fun." Tom Servo said as he pushed Joel into

the bridge.
 Joel stood there, with his hands over his eyes. After a few minutes,
Crow entered the bridge, carrying a plate full of sandwiches.
 "O.K., Joel! Get your hands off of your eyes", Crow yelled.
 Joel did this, and stared down at the plate of sandwiches. "What the
hell is this?", Joel said.
 "Why Joel! You should know your working rights! You do get a lunch
break!" Crow said matter-of-factly.
 "You know....."Joel was hesitant.
 "Oh, come on! When was the last time you had a lunch break?" Tom said.
 "Well, you might have a point. Uh, Oh, we've got commercial sign!" Joel

said, and hit the the commercial button.
- Commercials -
(SOL Bridge)
 Joel is munching on a sandwich. Tom is eating one as well. Crow holds a

book and the plate of sandwiches, and looks at them.
 "Hey, this is pretty good!" Joel mumbles through a mouthful of
sandwich. "Tell me, Crow, how did you make such a sandwich?"
 "Well, I followed this cookbook exactly!" Crow says, pulling out a
book. It's cover reads
"C-KO's guide to complete sandwich making."
 Joel spits out his sandwich, as well as Tom.
 "What? What?" Crow says
 "C-KO's cookbook? You! Get him!" Both Tom and Joel jump on Crow.
"Aieee!" Crow says. Random sounds of fighting emanate from the floor,
just beyond CamBot's field of vision. "You're not sick right now, right?

Hey, she improved her cooking! Guys!" Crow's voice echoes from the
floor. The signal light starts to blink. Gypsy moves in, and hits the
signal light.

 (Deep 13)
 Dr. Clayton Forrester looks through the view screen, akin to Big Al
Dente looking through the screen at the Pizza Cats. He was angry, to say

the least.
 "You! You dare to take a lunch break! When I've never even hired you!!
You...Scum! Just for that, I'm skipping today's invention exchange.
Tomorrow's had better be better! And fighting on the job! Well, for
that... You will pay... dearly.... Jawahahahah!" Forrester cackles
through the screen, evilly.
 Frank walks towards the screen. "Sir? I know how much you've been
practicing your evil laugh lately.... But I think the laugh should be
more guttural, like a Gwahaha, or a Bwahaha... Sir."
 "Frank! Did I tell you to think? For that, I want you donate 2 gallons
of blood to the Clayton association. Right after you send these guys
their fanfic!"
 "Right boss" Frank hit a button, and lurches off camera.

 (SOL)
 Crow is on the far left of screen, charred black and smoking.
 "Ya know, you look like that evil crow you befriended a while back",
Tom Says.
"Sorry, Crow. These sandwiches are really pretty good.", Joel admits.
 "Shut up." Crow Says.
 The alarms for Fanfic Sign go off.
 "We've got fanfic sign!" All of them say. They run off screen
 -Dog Bone 6-5-4-3-2-1-Hatch-
Tom is lifted by Joel, and crow follows behind. They sit down.

Anne Packrat <akane@erols.com>

Name: Anne Packrat

E-mail: akane@erols.com

Joel: What, this information is so important that she had to post it
twice?
Tom: Calm down, Joel.

All right guys

All: Yay! All right! Guys!

, I just watched X-Files

Tom: Shame on you

and this idea popped in my head.

Crow: Makes a loud popping sound.

I'm still not sure what I was thinking. Maybe aliens implanted a
suggestion telling me to write this story. Excuse the silliness of
Mulder and Scully, this is something of a parody on X-Files.

Joel: And this is a parody of my life.

Opening Credits: Play X-Files theme song but add a goofy looking
background. Pictures of P-Chan, Genma Panda, Akane chasing Ranma and
the
like float by.

Tom: Only at the rose parade! See pictures float by like never before.
Crow: That's a pretty general term. Goofy Background. Lemon Sherbet's
photo had a goofy background-
Joel: Can it, Crow!

Ranma 1/2: The Truth is Out There...?

Joel: I don't know. You're the author. You tell me!

Opening: screen split down middle - Scully and Mulder each on one side

of screen. They hold cellular phones and appear to be talking to each
other.

Tom: But in fact they are communicating psychically!

Scully is driving and talking. Mulder is apparently letting
someone else drive as he is in the passenger seat.

Tom: Naw, he's not really letting someone else drive.
Crow: (As Mulder)Watch me drive this car with my mind!

Scully: Mulder, Why are we in Tokyo?

Joel: (Mulder) We're here for the La Blue Girl Convention! Hope you're
costume is ready!

Mulder: I told you, Scully. There has been a very large number of
reports on sightings of unusual things in this area. Most of the
sightings seem to occur around one house.

Tom: (Scully) Well, they're loons. Can we go back now?

Scully: And you think the inhabitants of this house are connected?
Mulder: Yes, they may even be aliens themselves. There has been
reports
of strange energy and light formations in the area. The most unusual
reports have been of strange mutations occurring in broad daylight.


Scully: What kind of mutations?

Mulder: Well, the major one seems to be of a boy who turns into a
red-haired, pig-tailed girl. Scully, we have to get there before the
American government does! This is the evidence we have been looking
for!
I can feel it!

Joel: You mean, the members of the FBI are in JAPAN!? They are strictly
internal affairs! Whaa? And Mulder took Scully along!? He never does
that! Scully is left at home to dissect somthing! Mulder did not even
explain why they were going to start an international incident! AAA!

Tom: Calm down. Remember, logic is not important to the writers of
fanfics.

Scully: (not convinced) Uh huh. Can you explain one more thing to me?

Mulder: Yes?

Scully: WHY THE HECK ARE WE USING THE CELLULAR PHONES WHEN YOU'RE
RIGHT
NEXT TO ME?

(pull back to a shot of Mulder and Scully together. They are next to
each other in the front seat of a blue rental car. Each holds a phone
in
their hand.)

All: (Imitate a bugle) Wahh-Wahhh-Wahhhhhh

Mulder: (pouting) Well, if you're gonna be that way about it. (he puts

his phone in his jacket.)

Scully: (sighs, clicks off the phone and puts it down) Would you check

on QuiQuac for me?

Tom: Would you like a TicTack?
Crow: (Mulder) Wow! I've heard of some strange names that women-
Joel: CROW!
Crow: What?

Mulder: (looks behind him, and we see an small, orange Pomeranian
sleeping in a carrier in the back seat) He's still sleeping. Why did
you
bring him along anyway?

[Author's note: I know Quiquac is dead. Assume this happens before he
died or else this is an alternate universe where he wasn't eaten by a
crocodile. Either way the dog stays.]

Tom: So the author... is the dog in the back seat?

Scully: Mommy's little baby just wanted to get out, didn't he?

Mulder: Well, I wanted to travel, but why did you bring the dog?

All: (Imitate Bugle) Wahh-Wahhh-WahhhhhhTom: Warning: Bad Joke Circuits
reaching capacity.

(Scully gives him an icy stare and turns her attention to the road.
Time
passes. Eventually they stop the car in front of a house that looks
like
it has been patched up many times. They get out of the car, Scully
leading Quiquac on a leash. Mulder shields his eyes with

Joel: An erect stick?
Tom: Well I think that that's the winner for obscure comment.

his hand and
looks up at the house.)

Crow: Why's he shielding his eyes?

Scully: This is it? It doesn't look like much.

Crow: But the house looks pretty big. Joel: Crow!

Mulder: (nods) No, it doesn't, which makes me suspicious.

Joel: What does that have to do with anything?

(He peers at
the sign in front of the house.)

Tom: Welcome to the Pizza Cats pizza house. Please leave your bags for
an Oscar check at the front of the house.

"Tendo School of Anything Goes Martial
Arts. Easy payment plans available. Contact Nabiki Tendo."

Scully: "Anything Goes Martial Arts?" Isn't that a musical?

Mulder: (nods again) Yes it is. I wonder how I could read that sign.

Tom: Yet again another senseless conversation.

Scully: What do you mean? Don't you know Japanese?

Mulder: No, I don't.

[Author's Note: Scully and Mulder were actually abducted by aliens
sent
by the author. The aliens implanted translation devices in the two
agents' brains. Now, in order to make the author's job easier, they
can
speak and read Japanese fluently. Nifty plot device huh?]

Crow: Hey, author. Come here, and I'll show you a REAL plot device!

Scully: [shakes her head] I could probably find some medical reason
for
you suddenly able to read and speak Japanese, but right now we don't
have time. [knocking] Hello? Is anybody home?

Joel:(In shaky voice) Mother! We have a new visitor!

(The door is opened by a young woman with long brown hair. She is very

attractive appears to be in her early twenties.)

Tom: Whaa? Tell me, Joel, does that sentence make sense to you?
Joel: No.
Crow: All right! An X-Files lemon!

Kasumi: Yes, can I help you? (Quiquac begins barking. He jumps up at
Kasumi, his tail wagging happily.)

Crow: Starts to lick...
Joel: Crow.. I'm warning you!

Scully: (looking at her dog strangely) Um... yes, we're with the
American government agency called the FBI, we've been sent to
investigate some reports of unusual happenings that have occurred in
this area.

Mulder: Most of the sightings seem to occur around this house. Would
you
mind if we asked you a few questions?

Crow: Are you a vi-
Joel: If you turn this into a lemon...
Crow: What? I was going to say very good fighter!
Tom: Right, Crow.

Kasumi: No, not at all. Please, follow me. (The two agents follow
Kasumi
into the dining room. They sit down at the table, but Kasumi remains
standing.)

Kasumi: Would you like some tea?

Scully: Um, yes, thank you. Would it be all right if I let Quiquac off

the leash? He seems terribly excited for some reason.

Crow: (Quiquac) I've never been in such heat!
Tom: That's why neutering is such a good idea.

Kasumi: Oh, of course! Maybe he would like to play with my sister's

Crow: Whoa!

pet pig

Crow: Aww.

if he's around. (She disappears into the kitchen. They hear her

Tom: Belch, and make other noises.

call
faintly.) P-Chan? P-Chan? (She comes back to the table) Oh my, he
seems
to be lost again. I'll just go get your tea now.

Tom: (Mulder) HA! You're the alien! We never asked for tea!

(Scully lets Quiquac off the leash. The dog takes off after Kasumi,
barking happily.)

Crow: (Quiquac) I've got to go mark my new territory.

Scully: (watching her dog) He seems to have taken to that young woman
rather well.

Mulder: (sulking a bit) Wish he liked me like that.

Tom: Ewww.
Joel: Oscar, eat your heart out.

Scully: Well, he would if you hadn't tried to sell him to that fur
manufacturer!.

Joel: Oh, like the dog knows he was being sold!

Mulder: Hey! I was just using him as bait to try to get the
manufacturer to expose his evil psychic fur-making.

Crow: Oh, hey, it's Bob's fur! I bought a case of his fur a while back!
Good Stuff, except for the voices I hear now.

Scully: Well, you didn't have to go on about what a fine pair of
mittens
Quiquac would make!

Mulder: (looks around) I wonder where the aliens are?

Joel: (Mulder) I'll just ignore your last statement, Scully. Watch me
pretend not to even hear you!

Scully: Mulder, we can't even be sure that UFOs are involved here at
all. (Kasumi enters with a tray. She places it down on the table and
sits. Quiquac jumps in her lap.)

Kasumi: (smiles at Quiquac, and ruffles his fur) Hello there, Mr.
Doggie!

Crow: (Mulder) Hey, only Scully can call me that!

Mulder: (glares at the dog)

Tom: It's your fault the only good character died! Smoking man!

I'm sorry we forgot to introduce ourselves,
Miss. I'm agent Fox Mulder, and this is my partner, Dana Scully. I see

you've already met Quiquac.

Kasumi: It's nice to meet you. I'm Kasumi Tendo. You said you were
government agents? (Mulder and Scully nod) My! That must be exciting!

(Scully and Mulder give each other startled glances)

Crow: (Mulder): What! She knows about the fact that we are sort of
exciting every week! We must kill her now!
Joel: What? Scully and Mulder are working for the United States! This
makes no sense!

Scully: Well, yes it is sometimes, when we're not chasing ghosts.
(gives
Mulder a sharp glance)

Joel: (Scully) Here, take this.
Tom: (Mulder) Ow! That's one sharp glance!

Do you live here alone, Ms. Tendo?

Kasumi: (she laughs lightly) Oh no. I live here with my father and my
two younger sisters, Nabiki and Akane. We have two house guests
staying
with us as well. Their names are Genma Saotome and his son Ranma.

Mulder: Ms. Tendo, does anything unusual ever happen around your
house?

Crow: Let me get started!Joel: I don't know why, but you should be
ashamed.

Kasumi: (blinks in surprise) Why no. I don't think so. (smiles) We do
have some excitement around here sometimes, but nothing really strange

occurs.

(A cry of

Tom: Pain?
Joel: Joy?
Crow: Ecstasy?

"RANMA!!!!!!!!!!"

Joel: What the hell is *a cry of ranma!!!!!!!!!!!!!*?
Tom: Looks like the author's key got stuck.

echoes throughout the house. A black-haired
boy runs past the dining room. He is chased by a girl with short, dark

hair carrying a mallet. The two agents stare in shock. Kasumi just
smiles and drinks her tea.)

Mulder: Wha- What was that?

Joel: (Kasumi) Oh, sorry, gas pains.

Kasumi: That's my sister, Akane, and her fiancee, Ranma. They're both
so
energetic! Ranma, Akane, come meet our guests!

(Ranma and Akane come charging into the dining room. Ranma trips and
sprawls on the floor. Akane runs up behind him and readies the
mallet.)

Akane: RANMA NO BAKA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tom:(Akane) -OUTAA POKER GAMES!
Joel: Another stuck key.

(She punts him into the fish pond. A wet red-haired girl comes up
spitting water. She clambers out of the pond back toward Akane.)

Crow: Oh, those fish must have been piranhas.

Ranma-chan:
(angrily) Hey, you tomboy, I told you I didn't mean to hit
that stupid pig of yours!

Crow: Wow. Must be a friend of Oscar's
Joel: Hey! That was uncalled for!

Akane: (even more angrily) Who are you calling tomboy?! (She raises
the
mallet for another swing.)

Tom: Me? She's calling me boy?

Ranma-chan: EEP!

Joel: (Mulder) No, that's ESP.

(Ranma-chan takes off toward the rooftops. Akane
follows. Soon they are out of sight. Kasumi smiles and pets Quiquac.
The
two agents just stare in shock. Suddenly Mulder jumps up and points.)

Joel: Elvis!
Tom: There goes Chris Carter! And boy, does he look pissed!
Crow: My god.... Is that woman only wearing a bra?
Joel: Normally I frown on sexual innuendoes, but that was from
Seinfeild, so...

Mulder: See, Scully! I told you there where aliens here!

Tom: (Mulder) Yeah! That guy looks nothing like a Japanese citizen!

Scully: (desperately)

Crow: I bet, especially with your line of dead body research, you do get

desperate, Scully.

I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable
explanation for this..., um... well, the boy's DNA could have just
changed due to solar radiation, or that pond is a portal to another
dimension and the boy fell through, or....

Kasumi: (interrupting) Actually it's just Ranma's curse. (The agents
heads turn to focus on the innocently smiling woman.)

Crow: Look, I'm so innocent I even still
Joel: Crow!
Crow: I was going to say I still practice piano lessons!
Tom: Huh, right.

Mulder & Scully: Curse?!

Kasumi: See Ranma's father took him to a training ground in China
called
Jusenkyo...

(((((((Insert Flashback))))))))
[Actually you've prolly seen or heard this explanation about a million

times so go ahead and skip to the Scully's next line.]

Joel: The hell was that?
Tom: Just let it go, Joel, let it go.

Kasumi: What Mr. Saotome didn't know was that the training ground was
cursed. Whoever fell into one of the cursed springs turned into
whatever
had drown there earlier. Ranma fell into "Spring of Drowned Girl", so
he
turns into a girl with cold water. He changes back with hot water.

Scully: Jusenkyo? Cursed springs? You mean all those unusual sightings

were due to some clumsy people falling into a pond? No aliens? No
weird
tribal legends? No serial murderers? No nuclear mutants? I wasn't even

kidnapped and we have already solved this case?! (Kasumi smiles and
nods. Scully looks stunned Mulder starts shaking.)

Crow: (Mulder) Toooo Muchh caffennee!
Tom: (Kasumi) Oh, I'm sorry. I followed C-KO's recipe for making tea. I
hope there is no permanent
damage.
Crow: That was uncalled for.
Joel: Yeah right.

Mulder: (his eye is twitching and he seems slightly hysterical) We
travel over half the world to take this case, and THERE ARE NO ALIENS
INVOLVED AT ALL?

Tom: No, look! That girl with the blue spiky hair looks like an alien!
Look! She just zapped a princess!
Crow: That Tenchi, not Ranma.
Tom: After this many fanfics, they begin to all look the same.

Kasumi: (slightly worried at Mulder's condition) I'm sorry I couldn't
help you, Mr. Mulder. Perhaps you should have another cup of tea.

Tom: DON'T drink the tea.

(Scully looks at her partner with concern. Mulder, for his part, looks

ready to cry.)

Crow: Boo hoo! That dog is getting more action than I am!

Mulder: (muttering to himself) maybe, maybe, I was wrong... maybe they

don't exist... I've looked for so long... I just thought...

(He is interrupted by something crashing through the roof and landing
on
top of Scully. The object in question seems to be a short old man. The

old man is Happosai. A number of brassieres and various women's
undergarments come floating through the hole.)

Happosai: (faintly) Come here my pretties... I'll give you all a good
home... (He faints.)

Tom: I've figured out how to get rid of Happosai once an for all!Crow:
How?
Tom: One word: Oscar.
Joel: Not even Happosai deserves that....
All shudder.

Kasumi: Oh my. Happosai must have gotten some woman angry again.

(Scully begins to stir. Mulder stares at Happosai as if he is the last

lifeboat on the sinking Titanic.)

Joel: Mulder jumps onto Happosai, and tries to paddle away from the
boat.

Mulder: (stunned) I-I... I WAS RIGHT! ALIENS DO EXIST! Thank you for
the
help, Ms. Tendo. (He grabs Happosai and leads/drags Scully towards the

door.) Don't worry. We'll take this alien back to the States and
dissect
him. He won't bother anyone else ever again!

Tom: Just as long as you don't let Scully dissect him.

Kasumi: (worried) Wait! He's not an alien!

Mulder: (not listening too her) Thanks again! (He grins like a madman
and does a little jig as he heads toward the car.) Keep the dog as a
gift!

Crow: Well-
Joel: Don't even get close to that one!!
Crow: Hey! You didn't even let me twist the minds of toady's youth.

Scully: (groggily) No, Mulder, I don't know why UFOs would abduct
Elvis... Ohh.... (she fades back into unconsciousness)

Tom: So she turned black slowly?

Mulder: (ecstatically) I found an alien! I found an alien! (He puts
Happosai and the barely conscious Scully in the back seat. Then he
goes
to the driver side. He stops and waves at Kasumi before getting in.)
Thanks again! Sayonora! (He gets in.)

Joel: Isn't Sayonora a bit over the line as far as affection? Too much
affection is not good.Crow: Woah! This is a fanfic author! How much do
you expect from him or her?
Joel: Good point.

Kasumi: Wait, Mr. Mul- (she is interrupted by the car starting and
driving off. She looks down at the fluffy dog in her arms. Quiquac
reaches up and licks her face.)

Quiquac: (happily) Ruff! Rooff!

Crow: Take me to your bedroom!Tom: Let me pee on all your furniture!

Kasumi: Oh dear.

Joel: You want to take this one?
Tom & Crow: Too easy.

The End.

All: Yaay!

========================================

Joel: Please mind the mess during our construction.
[All get up to leave.]

Author's Indulgence

Joel: What the hell?All sit back down again.
Crow: You don't get any!

     I was online, responding to some of the 300 or so CAPOW e-mails I

had recieved that day, when suddenly the door blew apart.

Tom: That landlord sure is nasty!

I shielded my
eyes

Crow: Again! From what?

, and thanked god that the cat was sleeping in another room.  After
the dust settled I made out the figure of a pissed purple-haired
Chinese
Amazon carrying two BIG bonbori (maces).  A quick prayer escaped my
lips, "Thank you," I prayed, "for not making it Kodachi..."

All: (Bugle) Wahh-Wahhh-Wahhhhh

     "Where writing rodent girl?!" Shampoo yelled.

Joel: So this is dubbed Shampoo.Tom: No, the dubbed Shampoo is not this
bad.

     Since I'm cursed to be painfully (especially for me) honest, I
responded, "I'm here."

Crow: I REALLY hate self insertion lemons.Tom: Yeah. But a bit of les-
Joel: GUYS! Keep it down to a PG-13!

     She strode toward me and placed the business end of her bonbori
under my chin.  Her eyes narrowed.  "Why you no put Shampoo in your
stories?"

Joel: (as author) Because I wanted you to come barging in here like
this!

     I gulped.

Crow: down another screwdriver.
Tom: That would explain this fanfic.
Joel: Of course, a screwdriver without all that nasty bitter orange juce
stuff.

 "But, you were in some of my stories, Shampoo...."

Joel: Leave that one be, Crow.
Crow: Sheesh!

     "SHAMPOO WANT BE IN FINISHED STORY POSTED TO RAAC!" she yelled
beginning to glow an extremely angry color.

Tom: I'm as mad as color, and I'm not going to take this anymore!

     Seeing there was no use in trying to avoid fate,

Joel: So this turned into X all of a sudden.
Crow: I wish this would turn into La Blue Girl.
Tom: Watch out for sparking teeth.
Joel: You guys!

I pushed the
Amazon's bonbori aside.  "Fine, I'm going to get creamed.  But before
the beating commences can you read this?"  I held a piece of paper out

to her.

Tom: It's Alexander's magic map!
Joel: That's pretty obscure.
Tom: If they do figure out what's that from, they will appreciate it,
though.

     Shampoo put down a bonbori

Tom: Oops! The author misspelled bonbon.
Crow: What?
Tom: Never mind.

and reached for the paper.  She looked
at it suspiciously.  "What this?"

Crow: It's a piece of paper!

     "Author's Notes," I replied, "It's thank you's and stuff."

     The Amazon examined the paper.  "Writing Rodent Girl like to
thank
following people: Rumiko Takahashi, who create Ranma 1/2..."  She
looked
up.  "Takahashi-sama create Shampoo's Ranma?"  I nodded.  "She must be

goddess!" Shampoo exclaimed.

     "Most seem to think so."

All: Bad joke alert!

     Shampoo continued.  "Jenn for X-Files consultation...  What girl
help you with?"

     "I didn't know how to spell Scully..."

Tom: Captain: Our sensors are picking up thank you notes.
Joel: Raise...... Shields!
Crow: She canna givve ye more poower! The injuns canna take animore bad
fanfic!

     Shampoo shook her head.  "Rodent girl stupid as pig-boy."

Joel: Ouch!Crow: THAT was a low brow kick.

     "Just read the paper..." I said through clenched teeth.

     "Mike and Todd, who introduce rodent girl to Ranma...  What
they?"

     I let my teeth unclench (that's a hard position to maintain),

Crow: That's why I like to be on top.

"Um...  Hardhead boy and Obsessive boy?"

Joel: Wow. that's a great description.

     Shampoo nodded in understanding, "Like Kuno and Mousse!"

     "A bit, yeah."

     "Thank Knights of Anime 'Round...  Like Sir Collin?" I nodded.
Shampoo grinned wickedly, "Shampoo owe boy for lemon fic with her and
Ukyou..."  I shivered.  I didn't like that fic.

Crow: Well, ANY lemon is a good one.
Joel: Oscar.
Crow: Errr
Tom: Helping Paw
Crow: Ohh, kill me now.

 (Oh, Collin?  I'd
run...)

Joel: The hell?

     "Thanking Chris Carter and Fox who create X-Files, though kill
QuiQuac, stupid idiots...  Who QuiQuac?"

     "QuiQuac's the dog that Scully had for awhile," I answered, "I
wanted to save the dog, so I gave him to Kasumi..."  I stopped in
terror
when Shampoo's eyes started glowing.

Tom: Must be a Mortal Kombat game.
Crow: I don't know. I never kaught the hang of those games.
Joel: Kalm down, all of you.

     "YOU GIVE TENDOS DOG?!  SHAMPOO NO VISIT AS CAT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She dropped the paper and grabbed her bonbori.  "RODENT GIRL NO
BAKA!!!!!!!!!" she screamed.

Joel: What? I hate it when the author switches between Japanese and
English!

     "Eep!" I croaked as the Amazonian fury of a Shampoo scorned
settled
on me, or more, specifically, on my head, several hundred times...

Joel: Yess!!Tom: Do it! Oh, the beauty!
Crow: Ohh, what I'd give to be there at that moment with a stick.

-Anne Packrat 10/28/96 (revised 4/29/97)  (Shampoo visit - 4/29/97)

Joel: Good god man! This was the revised edition!

Next story: I have to recover first.....

All: (Bugle) Wahh-Wahhh-Wahhhhhh

"Oh my, I'm afraid I'm about to do something evil again." - Kasumi -
OAV
6: "Faster Kasumi! Kill! Kill!"

Crow: Ohh, here's the part were we get to see all the quotes that the
author thought was funny at the time, but are really kind of boring, and

that most everyone skips through them.

"Hey, Scully, what are you wearing?" - Mulder - some X-Files episode
(maybe the cockroach one)

Crow: Yeah, we need more of that.

--
Anne Packrat/T-Bone

Joel: What?

Proud Knight of the Anime 'Round
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/3953

"Mroooowwww!!!" - Ranma-neko

  Joel: Is it over?
Crow: Yeah.
All leave in silence.
(1-2-3-4-5-6) Dog Bone

(SOL, bridge)
Crow, Tom Servo, and Joel are in their standard positions.
    "Well, that was a doozey, wasn't it?" Joel looks at his creations.
    "I enjoyed it a bit." Crow says.
     Joel and Tom looks at crow in disbelief.
    "What?" Tom says.
    "If only Gillian Anderson had worn a little bit less formal attire."

Crow stares off dreamily.
    The red light blinks. "The mads are calling" Joel says as he hits
the switch.

(Deep 13)
    "What?! Crow ENJOYED it? What... What am I doing wrong? Well, no
matter. Another experiment. You will not believe the one we have in line

for you this time! Bwahaha! Well, Push the button, Frank! Frank? Frank!"

    There was no response. Forrester leaned over and pushed the button
himself. Somthing was wrong.
THE BIG END

Thanks for reading this MSTing. I enjoyed writing it, and I hope it
wasn't too bad.. Well, I must say, good-bye, and thanks for all the
fish.
Until next time
Thanks to:

Tenchi's Vault of Anime MSTings
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/4007/MSTings.html.
This is the page that started me on this rampage.

Oscar's Sailormoon Z and Hentai Fanfics, Archive Page
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/3272/
Thanks for letting me joke with you a bit. I hope there are no hard
feelings, right?

Finally, I must thank Anne Packrat. Without her work I would have had no

work. And then I would still feel lazy. Oh, Anne, if you want to
criticize me, or send me death threats, or anything at all (such as the
entire Eva or La Blue Girl series, or even Vision of Escaflowne) send
theme to ffemman@geocities.com. That goes for anyone else. I really
appreciate anything that you can give me.

(Ranma-chan takes off toward the rooftops. Akane
follows. Soon they are out of sight. Kasumi smiles and pets Quiquac. The

two agents just stare in shock Suddenly Mulder jumps up and points)