I Should Have Known....

Standard disclamer here.

This will probably never go to RAAC but I wanted 
somone to see it.

	It was 12:01 at night. The judge sat down at his 
bench and suveyed his domain. [The start of yet another 
wonderful evening. I do hope that it's quiet toni...] His 
thoughts trailed off as the doors to the courtroom opened 
and the circus came rolling in. 
	First in were the bailiffs, escorting a small 
shriveled up Japanese man. One of the baliffs was toting 
a large bag of what appeared to be undies. Next in came a 
veritable cornucopia of women. Short, tall, long-legged, 
etc, all of them were very pretty. And they were pretty 
pissed off right now from the looks of things. Last in 
were the atorneys with their briefcases. Christine was a 
regular on the DA staff but the defending atorney was an 
unusal sight for the judge to see nowadays.
	"... I thought that you had retired from working 
these kind of hours."
	"Well your Honor..." He started, unable to tear his 
eyes away from the bevy of beaties who were present in the 
room. "However I have certain_ Reasons_ for being here."
	The Judge slammed his gavel down in an attempt to 
quiet the double handful of women who were present and seemed 
bent on tearing the small man apart.
	"That's enough. All of you just settle down" He 
turned to one of the baillifs, a big hulking bull of a man. 
"What did this guy do?"
	The deputy DA stepped forward and answered the 
question. "This is the 'Great Panty Thief ' your Honor."
	"Him?!" He asked incredulously. "He's HIM?!"
	"Yes your Honor. This time he was caught. These ladies 
are the Nitro Girls from WCW Nitro. They went into their 
dressing room to find him waist deep in their panty drawers."  
This announcement was followed by various comments from the 
ladies about tar, feathers, and being burried alive.
	The defending attorney leaned down and said something 
in Japanese and the old geezer started laughing.
	"I wasn't aware that you spoke Japanese... "
	"Yes your Honor, I went there as an exchange student  
when I was younger and found a certain_Affection_for some things." 
He said another couple of sentences to the old fellow and turned 
back to the Judge after receiving an answer. "And although I do 
so enjoy the view in here." He said with a slight lear at the 
nearest young lady. "I am going to have to ask you to release my 
client." 
	This request was met by a frown from the judge, a startled 
"What?!" from the DA, and a "You've gotta be joking!!" from the 
assorted ladies.
	One of the young women piped up. 
	"Your Honor... He was caught red handed. There is now way 
that my esteemed  college can..."
	She was interupted by the smiling attorney who patted her 
arm in a patronizing way.
"He wasn't read his rights Deary." He said." My client doesn't 
speak a word of English. He wasn't read his rights so that he 
could understand them."

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	A few minutes later a tall American man and a very short 
old Japanese man exited the courthouse talking excitedly in 
Japanese. They stopped up short at seeing a very pretty long-legged 
beauty standing at the door glaring at them.
	"He doesn't speak American, huh?" She asked in a low voice.
"Well translate this: You are a disgusting, perverted, chauvinistic, 
panty raiding leacher!" She waited for a moment while the man 
translated and then looked at him expectantly. "Well... what did 
he say?"
	He looked at her with a wide smile. "They same thing I would 
have: Thank you."
They watched her stomp away angrily admiring the way her butt moved.
	"You always were my favorite student Fielding Dan." he said 
cackling.
	"Thank you Master Happosai... I've tried my best to follow 
your ways. Come on... I know where the Swedish Stewardesses go for 
drinks."

	With a cackle and a laugh they headed off into pervert legend.



For those of you who do not get the in joke, this came to me after
watching a rerun of Night Court. It is my interpretation of just why 
Dan is the way he is. Personally I think that Happosai would be proud 
to have a student like him.

Patrick
Now LoneStar, you will realize that Evil will allways 
triumph over Good... because Good is Dumb.