Kuno Tatewaki walks briskly along the hallway.  It is in the family
mansion, and he is getting ready for school.  He appears to be quite
happy.

Kuno: Ahh, what a glorious day!  Today I shall destroy the foul sorcerer
and win the hand of the glorious Akane and the fair pig-tailed goddess!  I
Kuno Tatewaki do so-

The door creaked open, Kuno froze.  It was *that* door.  The one that led
down to dear sister's laboratory.  The one that was supposed to be locked.
Noticing movement, Kuno nearly bolts.  Realizing that it is Sasuke, he rushes
over (instinctively holding his breath) and pulls Sasuke away from the
door.  Sasuke is very pale, even his clothes appear to have been severely
bleached.

Sasuke: Ko...  Koda...  The Mistress...  Is very angry.  Must go to
school.  The Mis...  Kodachi is sick today.  Must tell...  Attendance...

Kuno: <shocked> Do not worry yourself.  I shall convey thy message to the
school and you may have a few hours to rest and recover.

Kuno looks over his shoulder for one last glance at the door, then bolts
for the kitchen.  The servant does not yet have his lunch ready, but he
ignores this and does not even slow down in his frantic dash for the door.
Sasuke breathes a momentary sigh of relief, then he startles, as if
remembering something.  With urgency tempered by great agony, he scuttles
away from Kodachi's laboratory.

Scene fades, roll credits.

All Ranma characters obviously property of Rumiko Takahashi.
Many thanks to Rumiko-sensei for such a rich and entertaining universe.



                           Ranma 1/2

             For Better or for (Even) Worse [Part 2]

                          by Omnedon

                       jallen9@idt.net



Lemon Fanfic Warning!  If you are offended by this sort of material, then
don't read it!  Duh!

If you need Part 1, check out http://idt.net/~jallen9/ranma.html or
e-mail me and I can send it to you.  Note, the idt.net address is
new, if you have my address from older files, jallen9@mail.alliance.net
is NO LONGER VALID.  Also, it has been brought to my attention that some
versions of MicroSoft Internet Explorer may not display ranma.html...

Credits fade...

It is morning at the Tendo residence.  Genma and Ranma sleep soundly in
their respective beds.  The morning sun is bright and birds chirp
cheerfully.  A voice drifts from downstairs.

Kasumi: Breakfast in 5 minutes!

Genma sits bolt upright.  Flinging the covers to one side, he dives for his
clothes.  He is dressed and nearly out the door when he pauses.  Ranma
has not yet moved.

Genma: RANMA! <the bedding twitches> Breakfast is ready!

Genma leaves, the scene shifts to the breakfast table.  Soun and Nabiki
are also present.  Kasumi brings dishes from the kitchen.

Soun: <stretches> I have not has such a restful night's sleep in...

Genma: <takes a deep breath of the morning air> Yes, last night was so
quiet.  I slept well.

Footsteps are heard on the stairs.  Shampoo is first, followed by Ukyou
and Akane.  Shampoo walks somewhat stiffly.  Ukyou's lower lip is swollen,
and Akane is smiling as if involved in some private dream.  Kasumi places
food on the table.  Akane fills Ranma's bowl before serving herself.

Genma: <looks at Ranma's bowl, unguarded in his absence, thinks> Where is
that boy? <bellows towards stairs> RANMA!! <something scraping is heard
upstairs>

Kasumi: Maybe he is sick?  Shall I call Dr. Tofu?

Soun: No!  I'll go up- <footsteps, followed by Ranma> See!  He's fine.

As everyone looks up at Ranma, Genma seizes the opportunity to grab
Ranma's bowl, intending to scoop away part of the portion.  Glancing back
to the table, he freezes like a deer in the headlights when he realizes
that Ukyou and Shampoo are both glaring directly at him.  He returns the
bowl, un-pillaged, to its place.

Akane: <as Ranma approaches and sits> Are you alright?  You look kinda
washed out this morning.

Ranma: <weakly> Didn't sleep well last night, some sort of dream...
<glances around the table, lingers briefly on Ukyou and Shampoo> ...or
maybe a nightmare. <pokes at food> And I got this headache like somebody
dropped Mt. Fuji on my head.

Shampoo: Ranma eat!  Feel better!  Ranma need keep up strength!

Nabiki joins the three in chattering about school, business, and general
gossip while Ranma slowly picks at his food.  He has barely eaten a third
when Akane and Ukyou announce that they must leave for school and pull
Ranma along with them.  Genma takes Ranma's un-finished bowl.  When he
notices Shampoo watching him, he curls his arm protectively around the
bowl and glares back at her.

Scene fades to...

The kitchen at the Neko Hanten.  Cologne is preparing for business,
alternating between ordering Mousse around and grumbling to herself.  She
is obviously not in a good mood.  The bell at the front door rings and
Shampoo comes in.

Cologne: <shouts at Mousse> You!  Start the pots, I'll take care of the
front! <hops out of the kitchen, slamming the door behind her> And now for
you young lady.  Where have you been all night?

Shampoo: <dances dreamily around the room> Shampoo with husband!  Shampoo
happy!

Cologne: So you were out with son-in-law all night?

Shampoo: <settles into a chair, blissful> Not out all night, at house with
Ranma.

Cologne: You were at the Tendo house all night?  What did you do there?
<Shampoo blushes, Cologne pales> Nevermind-  You were successful?  How did
you do it?

Shampoo: Shampoo teach Akane cook.  Take all else out of kitchen. <smiles
smugly for a moment> Use instant recipes and boil-in-bag.  Not even Akane
ruin.  After supper, Shampoo make dessert.  Use special spices.  Whole
family sleep good!  Shampoo take husband upstairs, do ceremony with sake.
Then husband... <trails off, blushing again>

Cologne: <thinking> Something doesn't add up.  Why a Japanese ceremony?
<out loud> Did son-in-law insist on the ceremony?

Shampoo: Husband very suprised.  Shampoo do ceremony for husband.

Scene fades to...

The boys locker room after gym class.  Ranma is dragging his feet.

Hiroshi: So Ranma, where were you during gym class?

Daisuke: For that matter, where have you been all day?

Ranma: Huh?  What nonsense are you making now?  I'm right here.

Hiroshi: Your body is here, your head hasn't been anywhere near here most
of the day.

Ranma: <yawns> I guess I am just a little tired.

Daisuke: Rough night last night?

Ranma: <startled> Huh?!  Uh...  Yeah, some kind of nightmare, I didn't
sleep very well. <takes off shirt to get ready for shower>

Hiroshi: <whistles> Whoa!  Ranma, what happened?  Your back is all
scratched up!

Ranma: <turns abruptly> Nothing!  Err...  I had an itch and I rubbed up
against a post.  There must have been a nail sticking out or something.

Hiroshi: Oh...  Well have you had that looked at? <suppresses a giggle>
Some of those look kinda deep and maybe those nails <giggle> were ummm...
rusty. <is looking over Ranma's shoulder at something and straining to
keep a straight face>

Ranma turns to see Daisuke "looking innocent".  Hiroshi and everybody else
behind Ranma beginning to imitate Daisuke's exagerated thrusting of his
hips while raking clawed fingers over the back of an imaginary lover.
They all stop when Ranma turns back.  With a scowl he grabs his towel and
heads off to the showers.  The room erupts in howls of laughter.

Scene fades to...

Outside Furinkan High, the bell has just rang and students emerge from the
building, some of them sit on the lawn and unpack lunches.  Akane, Ukyou
and Ranma come out.  Ranma holds his stomach which is audibly complaining.

Akane: You were the one that didn't eat half your breakfast, AND you were
so slow we didn't have time to make a lunch.

Ranma: I wasn't feeling too good then, but I'm-

Akane: Hungry now, obviously.

Ukyou: I can get us something at Ucchans, but I won't be able to heat the
griddle and leave us enough time to get back to class, it will have to be
cold.

Ranma: Anything's better than star- <notices Kasumi standing by the gate
with a covered basket> Hey!  It's Kasumi! <starts to run>

Akane and Ukyou catch up, Ranma has already taken the basket.

Kasumi: Hello Ukyou.  Akane, could you walk with me a moment, I wish to
speak with you.

Ukyou: Don't worry, I'll make sure he saves some for you. <turns to follow
Ranma>

Kasumi and Akane walk away, nothing is said for a few minutes.

Kasumi: What did you do in your room last night with Shampoo and Ukyou?

Akane is silent, after another minute, Kasumi continues.

Kasumi: When I went to make your bed this morning, your room was in
considerable disarray.  Your blankets were on the floor, the sheets from
your bed were gone.  I also found this.

Kasumi reaches into a bag which Akane had not noticed she was carrying and
pulls out the sake bottle.

Akane: <stops walking, turns pale> Umm...  We were having a little
celebration...  Er...  Now that the Ranma thing is solved.

Kasumi: <stops a few feet away, does not face Akane> Solved?

Akane: Yeah...  The Wedding, we're um...  Gonna have it next month.  Time
to invite everybody and all that... <stares at the ground>

Kasumi: I see. <pause> By the way, cold water is better than hot water for
blood stains.

Akane looks up, but only sees that Kasumi is already walking away.

The scene shifts back to the lawn outside Furinkan High, Ukyou is guarding
a plate from Ranma as Akane approaches.

Ukyou: Hi Akane- NO!

Ukyou moves to block Ranma's attempt on the basket after a feint towards
the plate.  With a quick swipe, she uses her spatula to lift Akane's plate
to her and then sits and puts the basket on her lap.  Ranma realizes he's
stumped and sits down.

Ukyou: So what did Kasumi have to say?

Akane: <sits next to her> Oh nothing.  Just asked if Ranma was feeling
better.  <starts to eat>

Ranma: <lays back, staring at the sky> Kodachi worries me.

Ukyou: Oh?

Ranma: Yeah, it's not like her to give up this easily.  After yesterday
morning I expected her to try something else.  She wasn't in school
yesterday, isn't in school today either.

Akane: <between bites> How do you know that?

Ranma: I 'borrowed' an idea from Nabiki, I've got an informant.  Heheh.
Don't tell her though, she'll start charging me money for my own
informant.

Ukyou: So what does this informant tell you?

Ranma: Well, usually she gets excitable... er... more than usual, a few
days before she tries something.  Yesterday came without any warning and
now I am finding out that Kodachi is missing school.

Kuno: SAOTOME YOU VILE CUR!  Who hast thou assaulted that they should lay
such marks upon thy back as they repulse thee?  Was it Akane?!  Or did you
defile the fair Pig-tailed Girl?  It matters not, for in the name of Akane
AND the Pig-tailed Girl, I shall punish thee!  The Blue Thunder of Furinkan
High doth swear it!

Ranma leaps from the ground immediately into a kick which Kuno fends off
with his bokkan.

Kuno: You would seek to delay the thrashing you so surely will receive but
you shall be fruitless! STRIKESTRIKESTRIKESTRIKE!

Ukyou: There they go again.

Akane: <looks at Ranma who is rather occupied, leans closer to Ukyou>
Kasumi found the sake bottle and...  I told her we were planning the
wedding for next month so we would have time to invite all the guests.  We
need to talk to Shampoo and make sure she doesn't blurt out the wrong
thing or we'll be in deep trouble.

Ranma barely dodges Kuno's wild strikes with his bokkan, he is not hit,
but some of them come close enough to leave small rips in his shirt.
Ranma stays in close, but has trouble finding openings in Kuno's offense.

Kuno: Stand still so that I may beat thee! STRIKESTRIKESTRIKESTRIKE!

Ukyou: She will probably meet us here when school is out.  We'll send
Ranma on ahead to tell Kasumi not to worry about dinner and we'll get the
story all straight. Oh, there's dessert here in the basket too. <divides
Ranma's portion between the two of them>

Ranma is tiring and visibly sweating, he has gone from trying to
counter-attack to merely trying to keep away.

Kuno: You cannot run forever Saotome! I will yet mete out the punishment
that you deserve! STRIKESTRIKESTRI-WHANG! Thok!

Ranma looks up to see Kuno crumple.  Ukyou is putting away her spatula
while Akane holds a small hand-sized mallet.

Akane: Come on Ranma! <makes the mallet vanish> We need to put the basket
away and get to class before we are late.

They head for the building as the bell rings, other students head in as
well.  The yard is deserted as the bell rings again.

Shadows lengthen and a few leaves or flower blossoms flutter by on the
wind.

The bell rings again and students flow out from the building, splitting
into two streams around the still-unconscious form of Kuno.  General
chatter goes something like: "Ranma really cleaned his clock this time."
"Nah, I saw it, Akane and Ukyou blindsided him, together!" "You're
kidding, where was Ranma?" "Actually, he was dancin' like a chicken trying
to outrun the axe." "Well I'll be...  Hey did you hear about earlier
during gym..."

Ukyou and Akane emerge from the building, they are about halfway to the
gate when Ranma comes out behind them.  They meet Shampoo at the gate and
a few moments later Ranma catches up to them.

Shampoo: Nihao Ukyou, Akane. <smile doubles in wattage> Nihao Ranma!

Akane: Ranma, you run on ahead and tell Kasumi that I'm taking care of
dinner.

Ranma: <thinking> Oh no, I'm gonna...  Well, dinner was ok last night...
Or was that part of the nightmare just trying to lull me... <out loud> Ok,
I'll see you later.

Ukyou: <quietly to Shampoo> We need to talk to you, Kasumi suspects
something, but none of the others do.  We need to make sure we all have
the same story.

Shampoo: Ranma go ahead!  Shampoo show Ranma, Shampoo so good, even teach
Akane be good cook!

Ranma: Uh...  Ok!  <runs towards the Tendo residence>

Shampoo: Go this way, shop for dinner.  Now what you talk about? <takes a
couple of steps, waits for Akane and Ukyou to follow>

Akane: Well...  Kasumi found some of the... 'trash' from last night and
she asked some questions.  I told her that we had planned the wedding for
next month-

Shampoo: Already do wedding, and honeymoon...

Akane: Right.  They still don't know that, when Genma woke up, Ranma was
in the guest room with him.  Everyone thinks he was there all night.  I
told Kasumi that the three of us had partied after deciding on a date.  I
said a month so we could invite all of the guests and that stuff...

Ukyou: Our relationship with Ranma is at the whim of our respective
parents. <glances briefly at Akane> If we don't keep up the proper act for
them, Tendo Soun can demand that Ranma and Genma commit seppuku...

Shampoo: Ah, yes Shampoo say a month. <to herself> I can say that, it will
all be over in a few days and I can take my husband back to China where
their 'respective parents' will not be able to reach.

They walk for a while and reach a large, well-lit supermarket.  The sign
on the front says "International Market" in several languages.

Ukyou: I looked in here once, this place is expensive.

Shampoo: Yes, expensive.  But also hold secret, anybody can cook.

Shampoo leads them inside.  The store is divided into areas, with flags
hanging from the ceiling above to denote what can be found where.  The
aisles are narrow, but not crowded as the only people in the store seem to
be tourists, and they are clustered in areas under their appropriate flag.
They work their way to the far side of the store.

Shampoo: Tourists and foreign residents shop here, like to see familiar
food.

Ukyou: Right. And the exclusive market enables them to use the high
mark-up required to compensate for the reduced turnover.

Akane: <gazing around> There's not very many people here, I wonder how
this place makes any money?

Shampoo: Here big secret! <she has stopped in an aisle between two large
display freezers, directly below an American flag> American Japanese food!

Omnedon  <jallen9@idt.net>
See the archived fanfics at http://idt.net/~jallen9/ranma.html