"Morpheus the Shaper" <milamber@mindspring.com> wrote:

This story had several inspirations, 1) Bob Barnes' _The_Masks_We_Must_Wear,
and 2) H.Torrance Griffon's Deceptions (Which he has graciously given
permission for me to plagarize) and several comments made by various members
of the FFML at about the same time to the effect of "What if *everyone* were
hiding secrets..."

Yeah, as people who were at the AC fanfic panel know, I'm working on a
similar thing myself (which might end up being a bit weirder, though...)

Interesting storyline. The thing with the Kunos made sense,
firghteningly enough; but you'll need a little more work to justify
Mousse/Nabsy, I think. I'd definitely say continue it if you have
somewhere good in mind to go with it.

The writing is good, but you need to work on your formatting. Seperate
your paragraphs distinctly, and get rid of all the word processing
characters that don't show up properly in ASCII, like the directional
quotes.


Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics