(Previously:  Ranma fell in the Spring of Drowned *Little* Girl.)

				NO FAIR!
				By Scott K. Jamison
				(Takahashi disclaimer)
				Chapter 3:  "Pervert!"


	As they approached "Togs 4 Tots", Ranma noticed a banner reading 
[All Sanrio merchandise 25% off] and decided he'd better start trying to 
exert some control. 
	"Kasumi?"  She didn't appear to hear. 
	"Big Sister Kasumi?"  Now she turned her head. 
	"Yes, Ranma-chan?"
	"If you so much as suggest I even touch anything with `Hello 
Kitty' on it, I'll scream."
			*			*
	Two grueling hours later, Kasumi's attention was finally 
distracted from what seemed like a single-minded mission to have Ranma 
try on every girls' outfit in the store.  For which Ranma was supremely 
grateful. 
	Freed from the pressure, he had to admit it was nice wearing 
clothes that fit, instead of flopping all over.  As long as he didn't 
think too hard about what he had on.  Lemon-yellow overalls with a 
duckling on the bib and Sailor Moon sneakers were not high on his list of 
acceptable attire, but at least they were better than the pink dress. 
	Unfortunately, one of the disadvantages of his current form was a 
small bladder.  He quickly walked to the restroom--and was stopped. 
	"No, no, little lady, you want the girls' room.  See?  The sign 
on the door has a skirt."  Ranma considered pounding the man, but decided 
he meant well.  
	After concluding his business with a maximum of embarrassment, 
(he really missed just being able to whip it out), Ranma considered his 
options. 
	"Should have asked Kasumi for some money."  He looked around, but 
couldn't find her through the crowd. 
	Distracted, Ranma didn't notice his danger until he was suddenly 
tackled from behind.  
	"Francine!"
	Ranma panicked and shrieked.  He was spun about to see his 
attacker was a girl only half again as tall as he was now, clad in a 
dress that made his earlier costume look masculine.  She had a wealth of 
curly brown hair, and extremely cutesy features. 
	"Francine!  Don't be afraid of Azusa!  I just want to take you 
home and hug and cuddle you and--" 
	"Leggo!  I don't wanna go with you!"  Ranma struggled, but the 
girl was remarkably strong for her size. 
	"Francine and Azusa will be so happy together!"  She pulled Ranma 
into a tight hug, bringing his face right into her proportionately 
impressive cleavage.  Despite his current form, he still had male lust, 
and the flood of it froze his mind. 
	Azusa started to drag him away, when a tall boy blocked their 
path.  He was quite handsome, with a sparkling smile.  He had a Buckstars 
Coffee megacup in one hand.  
	"Azusa, what do you think you're doing?"
	"Francine is coming home with me!"
	"My dear partner, that is not acceptable.  It's bad enough when 
you filch inanimate objects or small animals, I'm amazed they still let 
us into this mall.  But kidnapping small children is something the police 
simply are not going to ignore."  He reached out with his free hand. 
	"But Mikado, she's so cuuute!  Can't widdle Azusa keep her?"
	"Ranma-chan!  Ranma-chan, where are you?" came Kasumi's voice.  
	"Over here!" Ranma called. 
	"You see, Azusa?  Now let go of the child."  He grabbed one of 
Ranma's arms and tugged him away from the ultra-cute girl. 
	"There you are, Ranma-chan!  I was so worried!"  Kasumi was 
loaded down with shopping bags and boxes. 
	"Ah, this sweet child belongs to you, then?  But surely you are 
too young and beautiful to be a mother already.  Say instead that you are 
perhaps an elder sister?" asked Mikado.
	Kasumi blushed.  "Flatterer!  But no, I'm just taking care of 
Ranma-chan." 
	"Give back my Francine!" demanded Azusa, jumping up to hit Mikado 
on the head.  He ignored it.
	"Taking care of children is a task not often enough rewarded.  
Permit me to show you the appreciation of Mikado Sanzenin for your hard 
work."  He leaned in for a kiss.  Unfortunately for Mikado, 
simultaneously Azusa started using her shoe to make her opinion known, 
and Ranma tripped him for calling him a "child". 
	Mikado overbalanced, and fell on top of Kasumi, while his 
steaming cappuchino went flying straight at Ranma, who shrieked in fright 
and jumped onto Azusa's head. 
	The passersby were scandalized.  "Did you see that?  That man 
forcing himself on that poor girl in public!  Say, isn't that Mikado 
Sanzenin, the skating star?  I heard he was a fast worker, but that's 
ridiculous!" and comments of that ilk. 
	Mikado picked himself up while Ranma backflipped off (and well 
away from) Azusa. 
	"I do most heartily apologize, Miss..."
	"Tendou.  Kasumi Tendou."
	"Here are two complimentary tickets to the Golden Pair's next 
performance.  I insist you attend.  Good day."  He held out the slips as 
though they were manna from heaven.  "Azusa, it's time to go." 
	"But Francine--" she whined.
	"You can name something else Francine.  We're going *now*."  The 
tall boy dragged his reluctant partner off. 
	I think it's time we went home too," said Kasumi.
			*			*
	"Ranma-chan, it was very naughty of you to run off like that." 
	"Kasumi...Big Sister Kasumi, let's get something straight.  
Despite appearances, I'm a sixteen-year-old *boy*.  I can take care of 
myself, thank you."
	"You didn't seem so confident against that coffee."
	"That's because I would've reverted to normal if it'd hit me!  At 
best, I'd have shredded this outfit.  At worst, well, I'd rather not 
think about it."
	"Oh my."  Kasumi giggled inwardly at the picture of Ranma barely 
covered in the remains of the overalls. 
	Now that she thought of it, it might be a good idea to have some 
outfits that would fit Ranma in both forms.  Right now she could have 
used him to carry a lot more of the packages.  It would make an 
interesting sewing project. 
	Kasumi's thoughts drifted back to the encounter at the mall.  The 
Sanzenin boy certainly was forward, but it had been a while since anyone 
had flirted with her, and it felt kind of nice. 
	"Ranma-chan, would you like to see the Golden Pair skate?" 
	The little girl seemed to think it over.  "Um...okay, if I can go 
in normal form.  I don't want that crazy chick mistaking me for 
`Francine' again.
	"Oh, and I hope you get one of my outfits clean by tomorrow, 
'cause I have an appointment at school I really need to be myself for." 
			*			*
	By supper time, Ranma had almost forgotten what he had on, so his 
father's reaction came almost as a physical shock. 
	"What's the matter with you, boy?  You look like a sissy in that 
outfit!" 
	"Kasumi was the one with the money, so we got what she wanted to 
buy.  You want me to dress like a man, Pops, you're gonna have to come up 
with the cash for it!"
	"I think you look fine, Ranma-chan," Kasumi soothed.  "Now, don't 
gobble your food." 
	Akane looked mildly disgusted by the scene, while Nabiki seemed 
more interested than Ranma had seen her before.  Souun pointedly ignored 
the whole exchange. 
	After dinner, Ranma finally got to the bath.  (After checking for 
occupants, of course.)  He figured that Mr. Tendou's old bathrobe would 
do as sleepwear. 
	He was a little disturbed to find that Kasumi had moved some 
dolls and other toys into his bedroom.  Ranma had mixed feelings about 
the eldest Tendou sister.  She seemed only to see him as a little girl, 
which was infuriating.  But part of him really enjoyed how she fussed 
over him and treated him like someone special.  
	Ranma hadn't had anyone do that since he was ten...he yanked his 
thoughts away from why he'd needed to be coddled...and before that, not 
since he'd left his mother. 
	His memories of her were hazy at best, but when he was in cursed 
form, they came into sharper focus.  Ranma remembered a scene from 
shortly before they'd left.  Mom and Pops were arguing about something, 
and Pops made some kind of, boast, maybe?  Then there was a piece of 
paper Ranma put his handprints on.  What had that been about? 
	Akane obviously thought of him as a weakling, an impression he'd 
fix tomorrow for sure.  Kunou would rue the day he'd called a Saotome 
"coward."  And Nabiki, who knew?  He'd have to try talking to her 
eventually. 
	Not that Ranma wanted to marry anyone, but he should give all 
three girls a fair chance.  If he was going on a date with Kasumi (you 
could call that a date, right?) then he should find a way to date the 
other two.  Purely out of fairness, of course. 
	There was a presence outside his door. 
	"C'mon in."  
	Akane entered.  She started.
	"Oh, you're back to, um, normal." 
	"As normal as I get." 
	"Hey, that's my doll, Chiyoko!  What is she doing in here?" 
	"Your sister's idea, I think.  You can have it back.  Not like I 
want girly things cluttering up my room."
	"Would you still say that if you were little?  Just how much *do* 
you change?" 
	"I'm not totally sure.  I know I have a lot less emotional 
control, it seems like even less than a real five-year-old.  Some of my 
feelings I know are mine, but others... Like when I was trying on shoes 
this afternoon, Kasumi praised me for being able to tie my own laces, and 
I actually felt *proud*.  It worries me a little.
	"But don't get the wrong idea.  When I'm the real me, like now, 
I'm all man!" 
	"It's hard for you, isn't it, Ranma?  Being small, I mean."
	"Yeah.  Pops has been training me all this time to be strong, 
independent, able to take on anyone.  But one splash and it all goes 
away."  
	Akane smiled.  "Tell you what, why don't you keep Chiyoko?"
	"Huh?"
	"She might grow on you."  Akane held up the doll as if it were a 
child itself.  "Chiyoko, this is Ranma.  He'll be living with us for a 
while.  Will you be his friend, like you've been mine?"  Her hand made 
the doll's head nod. 
	"Uh...sheesh...Thank you, Chiyoko.  I would like to be friends 
too." 
	Akane left the doll sitting on the futon.  "Good night, Ranma." 
	"Good night, Akane....and thanks."
	As soon as the girl left, Ranma put the doll back on the shelf.  
But he smiled and patted it on the head. 
	"Good night, Chiyoko."


TO BE CONTINUED...


SKJAM!