WISHCRAFT: The Ring Of Toltiir I
			          by Gregg Sharp
based on characters and situations from Takahashi Rumiko, Fujishima Kosuke, 
and others.
	C&C welcome, send to Greggsharp@aol.com

SCENE: The Tendo Dining Hall. A new ramen dish has been brought over
from the Nekohanten for testing.
	"Ranma no baka!" Akane glared at Ranma. "How dare you flirt
with Shampoo!"
	"No, Akane, it's not like that."
	"Airen, Shampoo make special ramen for you to try!"
	"How dare you ignore Akane like that, Ranma!"
	"Oh dear, oh dear."
	"Akane Tendo, I would date with thee."
	Ranma fidgeted, turning the odd rune covered ring in his hands
over and over. Things were going in the old familiar pattern, and he was
really getting fed up.
	Cologne's eyes grew large at the sight. "Ranma, where did you get
that? I thought it was safely put away in my room!"
	"Oh so, now you're raiding Cologne's bedroom? Pervert! Hentai!
Peeping Tom!" Akane pulled her mallet out of hammerspace.
	Cold water splashed Ranma, triggering the usual Juusenkyo change.
Ranma's fist launched Happosai, a temporary solution at best.
	Another hole in the ceiling. Kasumi smiled. There would be a
call to that rather nice young repairman tomorrow, and she made a
mental note to make some cookies.
	Nabiki looked at the hole and was hoping Kasumi would make
cookies. The guy who was doing repairs nowadays charged much less
when Kasumi cooked for him.
	Shampoo moved in towards Ranma again. Akane lifted her mallet 
and was moving for the same target.
	Cologne moved across the room at her best speed, but there were too
many bodies in the way. The ring was part of her latest arsenal of tools
to fix up Shampoo and future-son-in-law, but the dangers were great when
using wishes, especially with THAT ring.
	
There was a sudden image in Ranma's mind. 
		*CONDITIONAL ACCESS APPROVED. CHOOSE OPTION:
			1.	That's enough! I wish you knew what it
was like having to live with these Jusenkyo curses!
			2.	Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me? I 
wish you would just believe me.
			3.	Why me? I wish I was far far away from all
this madness of Juusenkyo curses and multiple fiancees.
			4.	Why me? I wish someone else had to deal 
with this Juusenkyo curse and all these other problems.
			5.	Akane, I wish you knew what it was like
dealing with _my_ problems.
			6.	I wish you'd stop doing that uncute stuff.
			7.	Aughhh! I wish you'd all just go away!
			8.	Aw, Akane, I wish you were more reasonable.
			9.	At times like this I wish I'd been engaged
to one of the other daughters.
			10.	I wish all this insanity would stop.*
	Images of all the usual suspects, family members, and their
various allies and enemies flitted through Ranma's mind. "Uhm. Number one?"
He was about to say that he thought that was a really twisted option.
	Cologne was still reaching for the ring when she abruptly vanished.
	Ranma glanced around. The house was suddenly quiet, a state Ranma
could not ever remember it being in. What the heck?
	A quick search of the house and he turned off a burner in the kitchen
and Happosai's iron just as a "silky darling" was beginning to smoulder.
"This isn't like Happosai, it's certainly not like Kasumi."
	He turned his attention to the old ring. "You did this somehow, 
didn't you?"
	*YES.* The word just seemed to flow into his mind.
	"Well, bring 'em back."
	*CAN'T. WISH HAS TO RUN ITS COURSE, PLUS ALLOW RECHARGING TO OCCUR.*
	"You..." Ranma's voice trailed off. It didn't say it wouldn't, but
that it couldn't. "So what are you anyway?"
	*I'M A CURSED WISHING RING FROM AN ANCIENT OTHERWORLDLY GOD OF
MISCHIEF NAMED TOLTIIR THE JESTER, A LORD OF CHAOS.*
	"And Cologne had you, huh? I guess I don't need to ask what the
heck she had you for..."
	*AFTER CHECKING ALL CONDITIONS, LIMITATIONS, AND QUALIFIERS, SHE 
WOULD HAVE WISHED THAT YOU AND SHAMPOO WERE WED AND BACK IN HER AMAZON
VILLAGE. SHE ALSO PUT PASSION SPICE IN TWO OF THE BOWLS OF RAMEN, HAD
A PAIR OF ENCHANTED WEDDING RINGS READY, AND A POTION WHICH WOULD HAVE
TURNED AKANE INTO A LESBIAN.*
	"Eeeeewwwww. Except Happosai raided the panty drawer, this wish
ring fell out, and I found it."
	*YES.*
	"That was close."
	*NO, THIS HAD TO HAPPEN THIS WAY. MANIPULATION OF EVENTS IN THIS
MANNER REQUIRED AS PART OF OPERATING ENCHANTMENT AS DEVELOPED BY ORIGINAL
CREATOR. SORRY ABOUT THIS. BY THE WAY, THE PASSION SPICE BOWLS WERE 
MISMARKED AND NABIKI AND KASUMI GOT THEM. THE WEDDING RINGS ARE IN YOUR
FRONT HALLWAY, AND THE POTION WAS STOLEN BY HAPPOSAI WHO THOUGHT IT WAS
A STRENGTH POTION.*
	Ranma blinked. "Huh. Good thing they hadn't started eating yet.
So how did you get a gig as a ring, I mean I thought you were kind of a 
computer, but computers don't apologize."
	*TRUE, I WAS GRANTED A WISH MYSELF BY ANOTHER DEVICE. AS SOMEONE IN
DUBIOUS HEALTH WHO MAINLY WANTED TO HELP OTHERS IN HIS LIFE, I WISHED THAT
I COULD HAVE A JOB LIKE THAT. IT WAS JUST A FIGURE OF SPEECH BUT THE GODDESS
IN QUESTION GRANTED THE WISH ANYWAY.*
	"So what was with those options?"
	*HAVE TO DO THIS THAT WAY. CONSTRAINTS OF THE DEVICE. CONSIDER IT A
PROGRAM, ONLY AFTER THE PROGRAM RESTRAINTS HAVE COME OFF CAN I INTERACT 
WITH ANYONE TO ANY REAL DEGREE.*
	"Where'd everyone go and for how long?"
	*I WILL ASCERTAIN.* A brief pause. *IT LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE AT
JUUSENKYO.*
	"AUGHHH!" Ranma clenched a fist and wanted to hit something. The 
only problem was that the only one available was cursed even worse than
he was.
	*LOOKS LIKE THIS IS ESSENTIALLY A MASS TELEPORTATION SPELL.*
	"How long," Ranma repeated.
	*A FEW WEEKS I THINK. WELL, AT LEAST YOU'VE GOTTEN A BREAK FROM
THE USUAL GOINGS-ON.*
	"At least?"
	*I CAN'T REALLY TELL, IT DEPENDS ON HOW CAUGHT UP THEY BECOME IN 
THEIR NEW LIVES. I HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF POWER LEFT, DID YOU WANT TO SEE
WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH ANYONE IN PARTICULAR?* There was the sensation of
someone shrugging. *WHAT CAN I SAY? I AM NOT AN OMNIPOTENT GENIE, HECK I
HAVEN'T BEEN DOING THIS THAT LONG.*
	"How could I guess you were new at the job?"
	*ALLRIGHT ALREADY, THIS WAS ONLY MY SECOND WISH. IT ENDED UP BETTER
THAN THE FIRST ONE, AT LEAST! I DON'T HAVE MUCH POWER ON MY OWN, AND
I'M CONSTRAINED BY THE NATURE OF THE RING.*
	Ranma smiled. The "genie" sounded a little bit like himself.
	"So, how soon can we check on them?"
	*WILL BE ABLE TO DO A BASIC SCRYING RIGHT NOW. JUST TELL
ME WHO, HOOK ME UP TO A TV ANTENNAE, THEN TURN THE SET ON.*
	"Do you think you'll be doing better at this if you get more wishes?"
	*YES. I CAN INFLUENCE THE OUTCOME MORE WITH PRACTICE. THERE'S A
COUPLE OF PROBLEMS, THOUGH.*
	"God of Mischief set the parameters, got it."
	*YEAH.* There was a brief pause. *POWER LEVEL TOO, THE MORE PEOPLE
IT AFFECTS OR THE BIGGER THE CHANGE, THE MORE POWER IT TAKES. ALSO, I CAN'T 
BE USED SPECIFICALLY FOR PHYSICAL INJURY OR KILLING. THE WISH MUST CAUSE A 
SINGLE OR SINGLE SET OF ALTERATIONS IN REALITY. THESE WILL OCCUR WITH THE
MINIMUM AMOUNT OF ENERGY USED. IT TAKES A LOT OUT OF ME, BUT I CAN DO THE
ALTERNATE TIMELINE THINGS, LIKE 'WHAT IF GENMA HAD VISITED THE TENDOU DOJO
PRIOR TO THE TRIP TO CHINA' OR SIMILAR THINGS WHERE THE ENTIRE TIMELINE IS
ALTERED. THOSE TAKE A LOT OF POWER, THOUGH. A WISH TO DO SOMETHING MINOR,
LIKE 'I WISH AKANE WOULD SHUT UP FOR A MINUTE' I COULD DO AND RECHARGE IN
A FEW HOURS. ALTERNATE TIMELINES COULD TAKE OVER A YEAR, DEPENDING ON HOW
MUCH WORK IT IS. SOME WOULD BE COMPLETELY BEYOND MY ABILITIES.*
	"No matter what, though, it's gotta be funny. That's your main
program, kinda."
	*WELL, TOLTIIR WAS WORKING WITH TAKAHASHI AT THE TIME, SHE'S THE 
GODDESS OF BIZARRE ROMANTIC SUBPLOTS, SO IF IT INVOLVES THAT SORT OF THING
THEN IT CAN BE NOT SO MUCH FUNNY AS WISTFUL OR SYMPATHETIC.*
	"Great. And Cologne was trying to figure out how to use you on me."
Ranma considered pitching the ring down a well or something. The guy 
inhabiting the ring wasn't a bad fellow though, and spending a few centuries
in the dark and alone while waiting for the ring to be unearthed would not
be pleasant. Besides, he might need to make another wish to fix the 
last one.
	The ring remained silent for a moment. *YOU ARE MUCH BRIGHTER
THAN YOU LET ON.*
	"Hey, nobody who masters the Art can be a dummy, particularly the
special manuevers." Ranma shrugged. "So who got hit with this stuff anyway."
	*THE TENDOUS (AKANE, KASUMI, NABIKI, SOUN). SAOTOME GENMA. SAOTOME
NADOKA. THE KUNOS (PRINCIPAL, KODACHI, TATEWAKI). KUONJI UKYOU. HAPPOSAI.
COLOGNE. MOUSSE. HIBIKI RYOUGA. SHAMPOO. KONATSU. KURENAI TSUBASA. SASUKE.
ONO TOFU.*
	"Uhm, how many weeks do I have before they get back?"
	*CAN'T BE SURE. AT LEAST THREE DAYS, IF THEY COME STRAIGHT HERE.
RYOUGA MAY BE ABLE TO GET HERE THROUGH INTERACTION WITH HIS SENSE OF
DIRECTION CURSE, BUT NOT BEFORE THAT. EVERYONE ELSE WILL REQUIRE
AT LEAST THAT LONG.*
	"I think, I better be gone by the time they get here," Ranma 
nodded. "That sounds like a really good plan, yep."
	*I CAN MANAGE A QUICK GLIMPSE AT WHAT HAPPENED AT JUUSENKYO. JUST
DON'T EXPECT MUCH.*
	Ranma found the TV, hooked the ring around the antennae, then
turned the set on. A wavering picture gradually took form.

	Welcome to this night's edition of "Ranma Knows Best"
	NARRATOR: "as we saw in the cliffhanger from last year, that
crowd from Nerima had just discovered themselves in Perilous Waters."
	GROUP SCREAM:"AUuuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
	AKANE: "Ranma you jerk!"
	Ryouga tried to grab Akane on the way down, but was knocked aside.
He hit a pool and managed a cry of despair and a monstrous bellyflop.
One by one the various characters slam into the waters, Cologne managing
to use her staff to remain above the water until a panda slams into her
and she takes the plunge. Genma managed to use the moment to arc over to
the muddy bank, where he becomes the landing spot for Mousse a moment 
later.
	Two tourists standing nearby unfortunately fell into other springs
due to the various shockwaves and attempts to avoid the plumes of water
currently coming down over the cursed spring area.
	Another tries to catch Nabiki but only manages to fall into a spring
with her. A fourth tourist, looking as if he really didn't believe this,
was splashed by a kendo-clad individual as that one landed in a spring.
	A stocky Chinese guide came out of his hut, looking
thoroughly disgusted. "Not seen this much problem since American tour
group waterfight here. What heck? Skydivers? No see plane." Having
seen weirdness aplenty in his time, the guide shrugged and got his rubber
gloves and bamboo poles out. With the air of one long practiced in this
sort of thing, he started pulling the victims out.
	"Let's see that one 'Spring Of...' Never mind sirs, it take too
damn long. Many cursed spring here, all have terrible tragic story, all
have curse where you change in water. Hey, I recognize you, you fall in
here before. Never met anyone who like it so much they come back. Well 
there was that Tarou guy."
	"NOOOOO!" Akane fingered the front of his muscular masculine chest.
His blouse had ripped open from the sudden expansion, and his skirt 
revealed very muscular legs.
	"Akane, are you all right?"
	Akane looked over and saw P-chan running around in a little circle.
There was Her body over there, and talking to her was a woman in a kendo
outfit.
	"What do you mean calling me Akane? I..." The woman who 
looked exactly like Akane looked down at herself and screamed.
	"Spring of drowned Akane," intoned the guide as he splashed hot
water on the other Akane. Even after being turned back, Ukyou looked 
like she was in shock.
	"Spring Of Drowned Black Piglet."
	P-chan abruptly turned into Happosai. "Oh oh. I'll never eat pork
buns again." Inwardly he was gloating, this meant that _he_ got to sleep
with Akane.
	Akane stood still for the quick splash of hot water, then sighed
in relief as she reverted to female. There was something that bothered
her about there being a "Spring Of Drowned Black Piglet" but she 
refused to think about that now.
	"Spring of Drowned Girl," said the guide as he turned Tatewaki Kuno
back into being a boy.
	"Spring Of Drowned Duck," a very subdued looking Kodachi Kuno.
	"Spring Of Drowned Duck," Mousse changed from duck back to normal.
Well, at least as normal as Mousse ever got.
	"Spring Of Drowned Child," Soun was still crying about it.
	"Spring Of Drowned Panda," Nadoka gave Genma a glare as she
turned human again.
	"Spring Of Drowned Panda also," Genma turned back and gave his
best innocent impression. It didn't work this time either.
	"Spring Of Drowned Rat," Cologne had a glare that could set forest
fires.
	"Spring Of Cat also, hey this not working."
	"Shampoo has fallen in the same pool twice, the effects are
permanent." Cologne looked sad. "I wanted a grand-daughter to succeed me
as an Elder, not a housepet."
	"Spring Of Drowned Ferret," Sasuke looked embarrassed.
	"Oh very bad." The guide pointed at two in a fenced off area.
"Those two fall in Very Worst Cursed Springs."
	Akane was not very surprised to see it was Kasumi and Nabiki.

the image faded. Ranma moaned and covered his face. The ring was silent,
its' power temporarily depleted. Things did not look at all pleasant.

notes: this was mainly something amusing i'd worked out, and i
wanted to see Kasumi portrayed as something other than the ditz or
Queen Prozac. Unfortunately between the general outline and the 
writing of it, i realized i was just trying to cover too much and
too many ideas. Will finish this up then go back and try to just
explore one or two of them a bit more thoroughly, unless of course
someone with more time/talent wants to give it a go...
	Besides, hitting Tatewaki Kuno with a Juusenkyo curse was
just too tempting....