As Good As Ryouga Gets

Prologue

Ryouga Hibiki hated animals.
He hated how they always looked at you with the
same idiotic stare, he hated the way they acted, he
hated the way they walked, but most of all he hated
the way they defecated. 
No, they couldn't just go to a toilet like a human. They
had to go and pee all over the walls. Animals could always
drink out of toilets, but they wouldn't be caught dead actually
using it for what it was intended for.
Ryouga Hibiki hated animals.
He was standing in the hallway and watched the pig trotting
around. He took a few careful steps towards the little bastard.
He just hoped that the pig wouldn't notice him.
It did.
The pig looked at Ryouga who stopped creeping up on it.
The pig 'bweed' at him and he smiled. Ryouga tried to look
as non-threatening as possible as he took a few cautious steps
towards the pig. 
He said,"Hello, there little fellow. I know you probably had
a big meal and all, but there really is no need to go and take
a leek now is there?"
The pig seemed to disagree with him because it lifted its leg.
Ryouga grabbed for the animal, but it was too late. The wall
was covered in piss.
He took the pig up in his arms and walked away from the 
scene of the crime. 
"You just had to go and do it, huh? Well, if you had only 
asked I would have shown you the toilet. It's right here."
He stopped in front of the garbage shoot. He opened the
shoot and was about to push the pig down to the smelly
trash bellow, when he saw somethng in its eyes.
The pig was looking at him as if it was begging for mercy.
Anyone with a shred of humanity that looked at it would not
have thrown it down the shoot. 
Of course Ryouga threw it down the shoot.
He closed the garbage shoot as a high 'bwee' was heard.
He said,"Sayonara, sucker."

All characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. 
'As Good as it Gets' belongs to a bunch of movie executives.
Until I find better things to write about. Ja ne.