Ukyo reclined in her command chair, watching the viewscreen as the
Saotome Dominion fleet returned from hyperspace into realspace. The
Combine fleet was deployed in an array about Earth, nothing must get
through.
  The newly-promoted admiral checked a datapad by her armrest. Major
Ryoga Hibiki and his marines lay waiting to repel boarders. Kodachi Kuno
and her Black Rose squadron held pattern around the Jade Dragon. Kuno
and his force of Bronze Phoenix star-mechs hung silently nearby, waiting
for battle. Not far away were the remnants of the Joketsuzoku fleet,
under the command of the heir, Shampoo, who in turn was under Ukyo's
command. Mousse formed the command of his White Swan wing of fighters
nearby Shampoo's ship, the Pride of Joketsuzoku.
  And of course the heads of government waited below in Geneva for the
outcome.
  In a cell in Siberia Ranma Saotome rotted, waiting for the inevitable
end, one way or another.

  The first of the Dominion warships entered realspace just outside
Earth's orbit. Soon it was followed by several more warships, each
launching smaller fighters from their bays.
  Ukyo's lips curved into a malicious grin. Konatsu, her aide, scrambled
to her side in panic.
  "Sir, engage the enemy?" asked Konatsu.
  "No," replied Ukyo. All eyes turned to the officer in surprise.
"Watch, and learn."
  Dominion fighters surged ahead of the slower warships. They passed
several unarmed satellites unconcerned, heading straight toward the
Combine fleet.
  It was a mistake.
  Concealed within the depths of the satellites were several
high-powered anti-ship weapons, which made short work of the approaching
fighters.
  The celebration on the Jade Dragon's bridge was short-lived as a swarm
of warships entered realspace. Ukyo maintained her composure, and pushed
a single button.
  Had the Dominion fleet exited hyperspace well out of Earth's orbit,
they could've performed sensor sweeps before heading in; standard
Combine Navy procedure for invasions. The scanners would've detected the
stealth fields of numerous tactical nuclear weapons, designed to
detonate at the touch of a button. The proximity of the enemy warships
to the space mines caused several shockwaves to glow across their
shields, then through to their armor.The Dominion warships were far from
crippled, but were shieldless. Some even lacked weapons batteries in
certain locations.

Now I'm detecting a distinct hint of Starfire ship combat.  
Actually I always thought that Starfire and Battletech would make an 
interesting combination.  

  "Order all squadrons to break and attack," commanded Ukyo.

continued in part 2
-------------------

"That's my story and I'm sticking to it."--JMS, Razorclaw X wrote:

  I dare you to MST this sucker.

I considered it, but my established MST characters weren't right for it.

continued from part 1
----------------------

  Kodachi's Black Rose squadron, made up of medium fighters, escorted
the heavy bombers of the Catoblepas squadron toward the oncoming
Dominion warships. The bombers would make a torpedo run on the warship,
but needed about twenty seconds for the torpedo to match shield
modulation. However, since the shields were temporarily burned-out,

Oh good.  Wing Commander.  I love Wing Commander.

 that

was no longer necessary. All the bombers needed now was cover from enemy
fighters.
  "This is Catoblepas Leader, ready and arm torpedoes!" Kodachi heard
over the commlink.
  "Incoming fighters!" shouted another.
  Kodachi thumbed on her commlink. "Black Rose squadron, do not engage!
Stay with your escorts!"
  Had the squadron been her usual team, they would've complied without
hesitation. But, since only two survived previous conflicts, the rest
were made up of Terran pilots, who barely listened to Kodachi. Three
broke off to engage the Dominion ships.
  Damn, Kodachi thought. Damn those green pilots!

  Kuno waited in his star-mech as the Dominion fighters broke pass the

"past"

satellite defense batteries. 'Mechs were ill-suited for space combat,
but star-mechs were specially-designed for space in mind. Unlike
standard 'mechs, star-mechs had better propulsion jets, but not nearly
enough to replace the function of actual fighters in battle.

Actually there's no reason why anthropoid war machines would be at any 
disadvantage in space by comparison with "planes".  Indeed, they might 
be more manueverable.  Their chief disadvantage would be their inability 
to enter planetary atmospheres.  

  "Bronze Phoenix squadron, prepare to engage the enemy!"

  The battle seemed to fare well for the Terra Combine. Konatsu was
already ready to celebrate, but Ukyo was not.
  "What troubles you, sir?" asked Konatsu.
  "They're holding out, they've got to have more than this," Ukyo said.
"Either they're trying to soften us up, or this fleet's just bait...."
  She watched the tactical display. The Dominion forces appeared to be
pulling out. Several of the Combine ships left their positions to
pursue.
  "Who is that, and get me a link to him!" Ukyo ordered Konatsu.
  "It's Captain Hikaru Gosunkugi, sir. Putting him through."
  The image of Hikaru appeared on Ukyo's viewscreen. "Come on, Admiral!
We got them on the run!"
  "Get back here, you idiot," Ukyo snarled, suddenly realizing the
danger, "they're luring you away!" One of the oldest tricks in the
book....
  Someone shouted from behind Hikaru, "Sir! We're detecting massive jump
gates forming around us...!"

That would be the Babylon 5 influence.  

  "Oh shiiiii...." Hikaru screamed, then the transmission went blank.
  Ukyo didn't have time to contemplate Taro's demise. She opened

Taro?

channels to the ships surrounding Hikaru's previous guard position.
"Close up that hole in the array! Nothing gets through!"
  But the defenders were too slow to act as the Dominion reinforcements
plunged through the defensive perimeter left open by Hikaru. The real
battle just began.

  Mousse's heavy fighter weaved through the swarm of Dominion craft.
What remained of his White Swan squadron was now battered, as they took
the full brunt of the frontal assault.
  Over the comm.-channel Mousse heard, "Oh my god! They're torpedoing
the main ship!"
  Mousse checked his radar, and sure enough, a full torpedo spread fired
off at the main Joketsuzoku battleship. Shampoo's ship.
  "Shampoo, I'm coming my darling!" he cried, leaving the squadron
behind in the wake of afterburners.
  The torpedoes were getting closer.
  "All available power to engines, including shields!" Mousse shouted at
the computer. The speed of his fighter increased significantly as laser
blasts punched through the hull.
  The torpedoes were almost within shield range.
  Mousse flew faster and faster, ignoring the explosions around him. His
glasses cracked in a sudden blow, blinding Mousse with shards of glass.
But he didn't need his eyes anymore.
  "BAAAAAAANNNZAAAAAAAAIIII!!!!"

No, that's Japanese...  Mousse is Chinese.

  Mousse's fighter crashed through the torpedo spread.

  Shampoo stood staring out the window from the bridge of the Pride,
watching the torpedo spread make its way to her ship. Then, without
warning one of her fighters drove itself into the spread, detonating the
warheads and sparing the Pride from destruction.
  Shampoo turned to the tactical officer. "Identify that craft!"
  "Sir!" the female officer replied, "that was Mousse's fighter."
  Mousse. Stupid goose had to be a hero. He died a hero.
  "Sir?" the officer said to Shampoo. The captain hadn't said a word for
a long time.
  "Divert all power to weapons," ordered Shampoo. "Take all of them down
with fiery death!"

  If it hadn't been for that damned Hikaru, Ukyo'd be in control of the
situation. Now things were getting out of hand.
  She watched the tactical grid with disgust as more and more Combine
blips faded away from the screen. Once the toe was in the door, it was
all over. Ukyo watched as the blip that represented Captain Taro's ship
vanished. She bit back the tears as her mentor died in battle.
  The Jade Dragon rocked once again, this time more violently than
before. Bridge crewmen were sent flying, dying before they hit the
ground from explosions. Konatsu rushed to replace the dead helmsman.
  Fire erupted on the bridge. Ukyo was thrown from her seat.
  A transmission burst through the confusion. "Combine vessels, you are
ordered to surrender to the Saotome Dominion. Failure to do so will
result in your destruction."
  "In hell," Ukyo spat under her breath. She glanced over at the comm.
officer. "Tell the marines to drop on Earth, as per pre-instructed
orders. We no longer need them. We're not going to go down without a
fight."
  Ukyo stood before her seat, the blood and sweat trickling down her
face. She watched silently as the marine dropships descended toward the
surface. "All weapons forward! Target the lead ship!" To Konatsu she
barked, "Full speed ahead!"
  The officers on the bridge stared at their captain as if she were mad.
Konatsu looked back at Ukyo in alarm. "Full speed?!"
  "Ram them, dammit!" Ukyo snarled. "No one destroys the Jade Dragon but
me!"

OK, the traditional last resort of a losing Starfire ship.  

  Konatsu nodded in understanding. "It has been an honor to serve under
you, sir!" He stood, and withdrew the blaster he held at his side.
Taking aim, he shot at Ukyo.
  Ukyo never flinched. She looked over her shoulder, to an officer
standing behind her, holding a weapon in his hand, pointed at Ukyo's
neck. Konatsu's shot hit the officer right between the eyes. Ukyo's lips
curved into a smile as she watched the life drain from the treacherous
officer's eyes.
  To Konatsu Ukyo said, "If we survive this, I'll make sure you get a
medal."

1.  Ukyo is trying to kill them all.
2.  Even if they survived, there isn't going to be a high command to 
give out the medal.  

  Konatsu returned to his seat and punched in the proper sequence. The
Jade Dragon lurched forward at high velocity.
  "Jade Dragon, cease your present course immediately!" the Dominion
flag-ship ordered, almost pleaded.
  Ukyo walked to the communications console herself, and replied, "I AM
the Jade Dragon, and I hunger for you!" She opened the comm.-channel

Ivanova flashback.

 to

broad-band frequencies. "For duty, honor, and loyalty!"
  Damn all Saotomes to Hell. Ukyo stood on the bridge, a stone sentinel
to the inevitable doom before her, never flinching, eyes open. She
stared death in the face, and was enjoying every minute of it.

Maxwell Smart flashback.  

  The Dominion flagship couldn't get out of the way in time.
  Oh, the light, Ranchan! If only you could see it with me....

  Kodachi watched as the Jade Dragon plunged into the Dominion flagship.
The fireworks were spectacular.
  It was about that time Kodachi's fighter was nearly helpless; wires
dangled from exploded panels, sparks flew, weapons malfunctioned,
shields failed. And the hull was getting punched up to hell. Ejection
was simply out of the question, as the mechanism was shot.
  "Black Rose squadron, let's make our sacrifice count!" Kodachi cried
over the commlink to her remaining squadron. "Take the bastards with
you!"
  They all knew the fight was hopeless. They all knew the risks. They
knew they weren't going home. The most dangerous enemy was one that had
nowhere to run.

Don't any of these commanders care at all about the lives of those under 
their command?  

  Kodachi rammed her ship into the engine section of one warship. The
chain reaction it caused sent shockwaves throughout the ship that ripped
it apart from the inside.

  So, I am the last of the Kuno line, Kuno thought as he watched his
sister plunge to her fiery doom. The phoenix was reborn in fire, perhaps
it was time for Kuno to do the same. We live and die together, Kodachi
had said. I'll see you shortly, dear Sister. I promise.
  As his star-mech accelerated at the nearest warship with guns blazing,
Kuno shouted over the commlink, "For House Kuno! We die for honor!"

  Ranma watched as the door to his dark cell opened, revealing Major
Ryoga Hibiki, of the late Jade Dragon.
  "Come here to gloat?" Ranma speculated.
  "No, I'm under orders from the admiral to make sure you don't die,"
Ryoga replied.
  "Ucchan's doing?" Ranma said in surprise. "Why?"
  "She wanted to make sure you lived to see the next day," explained
Ryoga. He handed a datapad to the prisoner. "She recorded her final
message here." With that, Ryoga stalked out of the cell, ready to throw
his life for his
admiral.
  Ranma looked at the datapad curiously. Then, with a shrug, he turned
it on. The image of Ukyo appeared on the small screen.
  "Greetings, Ranchan," Ukyo said. "By the time you hear this, I'll be
with my ancestors." Ucchan... dead? "It appears that your Saotome
government have won. Know that I lived and died by my principles, for
the people I serve. Never forget that, old friend." She halted for a
moment. "I have one small favor to ask of you, one I'm sure you'll carry
out. When it's time for you to take the throne, remember the people.
Always remember that the government exists to serve the people, my
friend. I wish things were different between us; I've come to forgive
our pass differences, perhaps you can do the same. You don't know how
tempting your offers to defect were, just so I could be with you! See
you, Ranchan, wherever we meet again, in a place without wars to tear us
apart."
  The message was short and to the point, just like Ucchan. Ranma held
the datapad tightly, silently mourning the loss of his friend. She's
right, I will do her this one favor.

"One favor"?  I'd hardly call that one favour.  He'd have to do it every 
day for the rest of his life.  

  In the end none of the Terra Combine fleet survived the onslaught of
the Dominion's numbers. However, the Dominion only barely succeeded in
rescuing the Heir-apparent from his Siberian prison, as the forces under
Major Hibiki set up a fierce defense. Unfortunately for the Combine, the
entire defense force was wiped out. Ryoga died a warrior, as did those
who died in the heavens above before him.
  The Terra Combine was crushed under the heels of the Saotome Dominion,
but at what price? Ranma watched as the surviving enemy were lead to the
prison ships, among them Shampoo, who somehow survived the destruction
of her own ship (she wanted to kill herself, but the escorts prevented
her from doing so). Nowhere Ranma saw a trace of Ukyo, and he felt a
pang of guilt in his stomach, even if he did know she was dead already.
  I could've saved you, Ucchan, Ranma thought. If it weren't for these
damned wars, everything would've been different between us. In the end,
you chose your duty over friendship. I have to respect that.
  Good-bye, Ucchan. Your sacrifice will not be in vain.

  So it came to pass that when Ranma returned home he memorialized Ukyo
and those under them for their duty, honor, and loyalty, in the face of
death. Posthumous honors were bestowed upon the defeated officers, and
their families were provided with full benefits of other military
families. His own father when he wanted to punish those against the
Dominion during the war, but Ranma dissuaded him, arguing that it was
time to heal. Reluctantly, he agreed.
  When it was time that Ranma became head of government sweeping reforms
were made throughout the Dominion to make it a better place. For Ucchan.
For the people.

The problem is Ranma is really dumb.  He didn't even know that there was 
anything wrong with the Saotome regime.  So how's he going to be bright 
enough to fix it?  

OK, here are are my final thoughts:

Ukyo's back story doesn't make sense.  Why would the marriage promise 
have been made when Genma stood to gain nothing from it?

Why do the Saotomes have great popular support when their policies would 
put them on the brink of internal rebellion?  

This is fairly clearly a typical version of the Battletech strategic 
game.  The Davion/Steiner alliance eliminates Kurita first, then goes 
after the Liao/Marek alliance.  Equating the Liao with the Joketsuzo was 
actually pretty cute.  However, the story would have been stronger if 
you'd spent less time synopsising the wargame in Ranma drag and focused 
more on the argument between Ukyo and her prisoner, in which you could 
have brought out the background details of their dispute as they argued 
about who was right and who was wrong.  It would have been helpful if 
Ranma had any idea why he considered the Combine to be the bad guys.  
You really oversimplified the moral rights and wrongs between Ukyo and 
Ranma, to the point where Ukyo is entirely right and Ranma is entirely 
clueless.  Even if you consider Ranma to be wrong, it might have been 
interesting to hear what he had to say about his house's philosophy.  

I think you should go back and start writing the argument between Ukyo 
and Ranma, this time looking at the situation from both of their 
perspectives and avoiding the trap of duplicating Ranma details that 
don't apply to the Ranma/Tech fusion universe.  Perhaps get a co-writer 
and have him argue Ranma's case if you can't look at things from Ranma's 
perspective.