-----Original Message-----
From: Phillip Masters <PhilMasters@webtv.net>
To: ffml@fanfic.com <ffml@fanfic.com>
Date: Tuesday, May 12, 1998 12:53 PM
Subject: [FFML] [Fanfic][Ranma] How to Love Another 2


I have to say I really liked this....it seemed to flow pretty evenly through
the story except for one part where I half speed red half skipped over
something...i'll point that out later...

first, not having read the 1st part I have to say that you did an excellent
job at starting off this second chapter in a way that was easy to
understand.


 He wasn't used

to paying such close attention to what he was saying, and it had taken a
lot out of him.

I found this part particularily interesting...it's not often that Ranma
realizes that maybe he doesn't think things through.  A little
uncharicteristic maybe but not totally out of the realm of probability.

He made it to the end of the hallway, and a shiver ran up his spine.
He couldn't help but think superstitiously of what would happen when the
pictures reached the threshold of the door into the kitchen.  It was as
if breaking the line would be disastrous.

A little dramatic foreshadowing perhaps...if not it at least makes the
reader think it is.

"I'm okay, nothing hurts anyway." she replied, also looking at her
leg.  After a second of silence she glanced up at him again.  "Want to
sign it?"
Ranma startled, "Huh?"
She giggled and poked him in the nose.  "Sometimes, you are a quick
one

Back to old uninsightful slow Ranma.  I like what I see happening here..he's
not suddenly jumping from "slow" to "God I've figured it all out" Ranma like
I've seen in some other fics...it's a gradual advancement.


  Unfortunately, just as his

mouth opened, he noticed what sitting in her position does to the skirt
of a girl's school uniform.  His mouth stopped in its fully open and
locked position, but no sound crossed his lips.  Instead, all the air
expelled itself from his lungs, and his eyes noticeably widened.  His
hands began to shake ever so slightly, and he found himself frozen,
unable to move forward.
"What's wrong?" Aiko asked with a small smile, "Aren't you going to do
it?"
The spoken word broke Ranma's trance, and he closed his mouth which had
become dry all of the sudden.  He blinked, painfully bringing his eyes
up to her own.  He nodded and leaned forward.  As hard as he tried, he
couldn't help but glance over to the blue satin cloth that peeked at him

>from between her legs.  He had seen women naked before, himself

included.  He had even seen women in lingerie countless times, much to
his consternation, himself included.  He hadn't, however, seen such a
subliminal display of erotic posing in person before, and he found it
was an entirely different story all together.  He bared his teeth and
attacked with the marker.  He wouldn't let any distraction, even such a
good one, get in the way of what Aiko wanted.  He stopped, in mid-"ma"
as he thought the last thought.  Thinking of what Aiko "wanted" had not
done good things for his concentration.  In fact, the tail of the "ma"
extended a good inch farther than it should, and looked something like
an EKG during a fibrillation.

I don't know what I didn't like about this...maybe Ranma thinking to many
big thoughts....I've grown accustomed to him thinking kind of slowly when it
comes to sex and eroticism.  It's not bad mind you..just this is the part
that I kind of had trouble reading and I had to go through it twice to make
sure that i got it right.

Ranma, in the space of a second, became nervous anew.  For some reason
he didn't want to meet Aiko's mother yet.  As if he thought they would
be engaged as soon as she laid eyes on him.  He settled down again and
berated himself; he had to stop thinking like he was at the Tendo
house.

I found this particullarily in character.  I liked it.  Leave it to Ranma to
think he's gaining another fiancee and being EXTREMELY terrified.

"Did you screw my daughter?"
Ranma took a step backward, his eyes registering the shock he felt.
The woman had just asked him if he'd violated her daughter with
absolutely no emotion whatsoever.  "Uh... um... eh..." was all he could
manage to stutter out.
"No, he didn't, mother." Aiko helpfully answered.  "He is the one who
took me to the doctor and helped me here at home."
Aiko's mother smiled, "Oh, that's okay then."  She bowed formally,
"Welcome to my home, my name is July..."  She waved a hand in Aiko's
direction.  "And this is my daughter, Aiko."
The first thought through Ranma's mind was, "July?"  The second he
vocalized, "Um, I know Aiko's name."
July frowned, "Of course you do, you just said it."  She shook her head
and muttered, "Kids these days," and walked out of the room.
Ranma stared after July with an amazingly large sweatdrop dangling from
the back of his head.  He turned to Aiko slowly, who had the decency to
look embarrassed, and asked, "What was that all about?"

0_o

I found that odd....entertaining to read...but I think Ranma's reaction was
slightly underrated.  I imagine him backpedaling through the window.  Look
at what he does any time someone suggests he kiss Akane, Shampoo, or Ukyou
(Kodachi for that matter if you want to see a real reaction)

Ranma furrowed his brow.  He had never really known someone with a true
mental problem that so adversely effected someone so... innocent, for
want of a better word.  He knew the Kunos, but they seemed like they
were always nuts, and they didn't really bother anyone other than
himself and Akane, and they could take care of them.  Aiko's mother, on
the other hand, was having a devastating effect on her daughter.  Ranma
found he didn't like that one bit, and the fact that it was Aiko just
compounded the Injury.  "Why don't you go and bring a specialist back
here?" he ventured.

If only Ranma was this concerned in Zen's "The Bitter End" about someone
needing therapy ;)
I like it.  Ranma's usually pretty good about protecting the weak and all
that.  Even though his father makes it sound so corney.

"No!" Aiko burst out, making Ranma flinch.  She calmed herself and laid
a hand on his arm.  "Thank you, for everything... but she's still my
mother, and I love her.  I don't want someone to take her away.  She
truly is harmless... she just forgets things, and confuses things once
and a while."

Denial?  Methinks I don't like where this is going.

which was probably true when he thought about it.  It worried him that
he had almost no emotional development when it came to feelings of love
and adoration.  However, he did know the signs, and Aiko was feeling
one, or both, of those feelings for him.  What bothered him... or
perhaps it didn't... was that he couldn't say he didn't return the
feelings.  Not that he would say it or anything, it was just that he
wasn't sure if he could outright deny it anymore.  He held her a little
tighter and relished in the feeling of that particular moment.
When they separated, Aiko laid back on the bed with a sigh, and an
enormously content smile alight on her face.  Ranma was happy she was
comfortable, and secretly ecstatic that it was himself that caused it.
He said a final farewell for the evening and left.

I don't know if Ranma would notice.  I'm not saying he wouldn't but he very
rarely notices when he's made Akane happy unless he's out to "GOTCHA" her
with some deliberate scheme of his to make her lose her balance or
something.  It's not entirely out of the question but it's stretching it
that he know's what's going on immedietly.




My spelling sucks on this review but hey I like it and hope you could send
me the first part.  I can't wait to read more.

Uchann@ten.net

"People come and go but architecture remains....unless someone in a plug
suit comes along...then everything goes straight to..."