(Back to Rob Bob's Last Call, and "Her"...)

	Whew...kinda gives a whole new meaning to 'porking', don't it? 
	So the secret dream of the dead girl and the dead pig is revealed,
and now Ranma's freaking out because he's suddenly flinging hammers
around all over the place like a real girl. 
	Which brings us to the next part, where things only keep getting
stranger, and the characterization keeps going down the toilet...
	Isn't this where that lime scene snuck in? This is also where we
find out that Ranma can't fight as a guy anymore...

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P  A  R  T    T  H  R  E  E  :  R  E  A  L  I  Z  A  T  I  O  N  S
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 Damn this dream was beginning to piss him off.
 Ranma once again found himself running through the water and facing
the 
two spheres. This time, Ranko sat huddled up in the bottom of the
sphere 
crying. The evil version of Ranma-kun that held her trapped there saw

Ranma charge up, and began laughing again. And to make matters worse,
he 
was taunting Ranma. His gestures indicated that he thought Ranma was
too 
weak to take him down. 
 That did it. Time to fight.
 Ranma charged the outer sphere, launching into his chestnut fist
attack. 
His punches didn't even make the sphere shake. His image within the 
sphere doubled over in laughter, then gave him the finger. Ranma kept

trying but it was just no good. Eventually he collapsed from
exhaustion. 
The crying of Ranko and the horrible mocking laughter of the evil
Ranma-
kun haunted him as he...
 Awoke to the sound of his little black alarm clock. "Mornin'
Ryouga," he 
said drowsily as he dragged himself off of his futon and padded off
to 
the bathroom, pig companion trotting faithfully alongside him.
 
 "Gee Ranma, you look like hell this morning. What's up?"
 Ranma sighed. "The damn dream again. I've been having it a lot
lately."
 Ryouga frowned. "That's odd. You should have stopped having it after
you 
discovered Ranko was there."
 Ranma nodded. "That's what I thought to. But it's been changing a
little 
every time. Like this time, Ranko was crying instead of screaming,
and 
the other me was taunting me, mocking me. So I attacked him, but none
of 
my punches could touch him. He just laughed me off and gave me the
finger.
 I kept trying but it was no use. Finally I just dropped from
exhaustion, 
and I kept hearing his mocking laughter and her crying..." He closed
his 
eyes. "I just wish I could figure it out..."
 Ryouga laid a hand on his shoulder. "Hey man, it's okay. It'll come
to 
you eventually." He smiled. "Hey, haven't you heard by now? Saotome
Ranma 
never loses." Ranma looked up at him and smiled. "You'll figure it
out 
sooner or later. I'm sure of it."
 "Yeah, you're probably right, you know?" Ranma felt a lot better
now. 
 "Come on, let's go get some breakfast." 

 After the delicious Western-style breakfast Kasumi treated everyone
to--
Ranma was glad she cooked those continental breakfasts every now and
then,
he really liked American breakfast foods--he and Ryouga went outside
to 
spar. Akane went out to watch, not having anything better to do.
 "Hah! Getting a little slow there Ranma!" Ryouga slammed a punch
toward 
Ranma's gut, which was barely and badly blocked. Ranma hissed
slightly as 
the angry red mark on his left arm throbbed. 
 "Oh yeah? Take this!" Ranma lashed out with a forward kick, which
was 
blocked easily, then immediately snapped off a roundhouse, which
should 
have caught Ryouga under the chin. Somehow, Ryouga managed to block
that 
one to. Ranma couldn't figure out why that didn't work. The fight 
continued like this for a while, Ryouga pressing his advantage and 
driving Ranma back toward the wall on his side of the yard. Akane was

watching and studying the attacks carefully. At first she wondered
why 
Ranma was holding back. Now, she wasn't so sure he was. 
 Ranma tried a sweep, which caught Ryouga offguard as he was in the 
middle of a spin. As soon as Ryouga got to his feet, Ranma used the 
kachuu tenshin amaguriken. Ryouga couldn't hope to block all the
punches, 
but he did block a lot more of them than he usually could. All three
of 
them noticed that Ranma had also thrown a lot fewer punches than
usual. 
What's wrong with me? Ranma wondered. Ryouga hammered him in the gut
with 
a punch, then snapped his head back with an uppercut. 
 "Okay, this is beginning to suck. Time for a desparation move."
Ranma 
vaulted over Ryouga's head, and dashed for the pond. Ryouga spun in
time 
to see him leap in. A few seconds later, Ranma-chan leapt out, and
said 
"Alright, let's go!" She dashed at Ryouga, who resumed his ready
stance. 
Ranma-chan drew back for one of her faster punches. Ryouga got ready
to 
block it, anticipating when it would hit. 
 He anticipated wrong however. The punch slammed into his chest a lot

faster than he was expecting. He took a step back. The next thing he
knew,
Ranma-chan was a blur around him, raining down blows he couldn't even

hope to block. He dropped to one knee. "Yield," he said. Ranma-chan 
stopped blurring and stood in front of him, smiling. "Had enough?"
 Akane was watching this with a mix of disbelief and curiosity.
Ryouga 
stood up and said, "Yeah, I think that's enough for one day." 
 "Hang on a second guys," Akane said. She turned to the house and
called 
out, "Dad! Saotome-san! Can you come out here for a minute?"
Ranma-chan 
and Ryouga blinked. 
 "Yo Akane, what's up?" Ranma-chan asked. 
 "I just want to see something." As the men emerged from the house,
Akane 
turned and said, "I need your help for a minute."
 "What is it, Akane?"
 "What's up?"
 Ryouga moved to stand by the porch. Ranma-chan stood out in the
yard. 
Akane said, "I want the two of you to fight Ranma for a little bit."
 Genma nodded. "Alright then. Tendou-kun, shall you go first or shall
I?"
 Akane shook her head. "At the same time."
 Everyone blinked. It was pretty unusual to spar two-on-one, even if
they 
all knew Ranma-chan would probably have no problem beating them
anyway. 
"Alright," Soun said. He and Genma moved into position. Ranma-chan
stood 
ready.
 "Ready? Fight!"
 Genma and Soun charged Ranma-chan. They each aimed a punch at her 
stomach. Their fists passed through nothing but air. Ranma-chan was 
already behind them. She blurred into motion. A few seconds later,
Genma 
and Soun were both down. Ranma-chan stopped moving and relaxed her
stance.

 The men got up, not sure what had just happened. Akane nodded. "Mmm
hmm.."
 She turned to the house again. "Kasumi! Bring some hot water
please!"
 Kasumi came out with a kettle and poured it on Ranma-chan. As soon
as 
she cleared the practice area, Akane said, "Okay, now again! Fight!"
 Genma and Soun decided to adopt a less hasty approach this time, and

began circling Ranma. Ranma snapped off a kick at Soun, who blocked. 
Ranma began to turn just as Genma's sweep took him down. He bounced
back 
up, and threw a punch at Genma. Before he knew it, Soun was right
beside 
him, and tagged him in the side with a forward kick. It went on like
this 
for some time. Ranma wasn't able to recover from his attacks fast
enough 
to block or evade the attacks directed at him. After a while, Akane 
called a halt. She was frowning thoughtfully. Ranma, Genma, and Soun 
moved up onto the porch, taking towels from Ryouga. 
 "Ranma," Akane said, "Let me ask you a question."
 "Go on."
 "A couple of months ago, you would have easily been able to take
down 
both dad and Saotome-san no matter which form you were in, right?"
 Ranma thought about it, and nodded. "Yeah. I should have won today,
too."
 Akane's frown deepened. "Yeah, you should have won both fights. But
you 
only won when you fought as a girl."
 Ryouga nodded, understanding. "That's right. Remember when we were 
sparring before, Ranma? I should never be able to block as many of
those 
punches from the chestnut fist as I did." 
 Akane nodded. "But when Ranma turned into a girl, he took you down 
before you could get one hit off."
 Ranma frowned. "Yeah, my speed seems a little off."
 Genma and Soun were deep in thought. Akane, who'd been watching each

fight, was almost sure of what was going on. "You guys rest up for a
few 
minutes. I've got to make a phone call."

 Half an hour later, Cologne, Shampoo, and Mousse were sitting at the

table in the Tendou living room.  "Thank you for coming," Akane said.

 "Shampoo no expecting Akane ask all three of us to come here. What
going 
on?"
 "Indeed, child, your call was most unexpected."
 Akane faced Cologne. "Well, you see, I was watching Ranma spar with 
Ryouga this morning..." She proceeded to tell Cologne everything that

happened. Cologne nodded, looking thoughtful. "So you see," Akane 
finished, "I figured that the only way I could be sure is for someone

else who knows the chestnut fist to fight Ranma, to test him."
 Cologne nodded. "You kids never cease to amaze me. You're getting 
smarter all the time. I'd be happy to spar with son-in-law. I myself
am 
very curious about this change in his speed."
 Akane thanked her, then went into the kitchen, where Ranma was
having a 
cookie. "Ranma, come out here please." Ranma brushed the crumbs off
his 
hands, and went out with Akane. He was surprised to see the whole
group 
from the Nekohanten there, especially Cologne. "What's up?" he asked.
 Akane said, "Ranma, I've asked Shampoo's great-grandmother to spar
with 
you."
 "You did what!?"
 Akane nodded. "It's the only way to see for sure what's happening to

your speed."
 "She's right, son-in-law. Akane told us everything about the fights
this 
morning. We're just going to do a little test with the kachuu tenshin

amaguriken technique."
 "Alright," Ranma said.

 Everyone gathered in the yard. Cologne and Ranma faced off in the
center 
of the yard. 
 "Alright, son-in-law. When I call ready, I'm going to attack with
the 
chestnut fist, and I want you to block as many of my punches as you
can. 
Then I want you to attack me the same way. Ready? Now!" 
 Cologne's arms blurred into action. Ranma's arms also blurred, but 
seemed to be moving much more slowly than the Amazon woman's. Cologne

finished her attack and smirked. "Now that's odd. The last time we 
sparred, you blocked over half those punches. Your turn."
 Their arms blurred again. After a moment, Ranma stopped, and Cologne

smirked again. "Very strange."
 Akane picked up a bucket of water and splashed Ranma with it. "Okay
now 
do it again."
 Cologne nodded. "Ready?" Ranma-chan nodded. "Okay, now."
 Again Cologne's arms blurred, and Ranma-chan's arms matched her blur
for 
blur. Cologne's eyes widened when she stopped. "Impressive. Not a
single 
punch got through. Alright, your turn."
 Ranma-chan blurred into motion. To everyone's amazement, Cologne
didn't 
even have a chance to block. The old woman went flying backward
across 
the yard and crashed into the wall.
 "Aiyah! Great-grandmother, you alright?"
 "Old ghoul? You okay?"
 Cologne sat up, dazed. She shook her head to clear it, then stood, 
picked up her staff, and hopped back over to Ranma-chan. Her eyes
were 
wide with amazement and maybe even shock. "That shouldn't have
happened," 
Cologne said. "I haven't seen anything that fast in over 150 years."
She 
frowned, lost in thought. "Something is causing your male side to
lose 
power, and your female side is becoming much stronger and faster.
This 
bears watching." She turned back to the house. "Shampoo, Mousse,
come. We 
don't want to overstay our welcome, and we still have to get ready
for 
the lunch crowd." They left. Ranma-chan stood in the center of the
yard, 
lost deep in thought. Everyone was watching her with worry and
confusion 
etched on their faces.

********

 That night, only Kasumi, Akane, Ryouga, and Ranma were in the house.

This time the others had gone to the movies.  Kasumi was in the
kitchen 
and the other three were watching TV. Ranma's eyes clouded over, and
he 
doubled over in pain. "Argh!"
 "Ranma? What's wrong?"
 Ranma winced. He looked pale and sick again. As he did the night
before, 
he went to the kitchen and splashed himself. Ranma-chan sat back
down, 
and looked upset. 
 Ryouga paled. "Not again." Ranma-chan nodded. 
 Akane sighed. "I don't think you two have much choice. You're going
to 
have to do it."
 Ranma-chan sighed, still looking queasy. Ryouga's eyes glazed over
for a 
minute. When they returned to normal, he blinked, then smiled softly.

Akane wondered what his inner conversation had been about. It didn't
take 
too long for her to find out.  
 "Maybe...maybe it won't be as bad as you think, Ranma."
 Ranma turned to stare at him in shock. "Wha...?"
 Ryouga was blushing slightly. "You remember that first time I saw
you in 
your female form? And you were complaining about everyone giving you
a 
hard time and how hard it was having that body?"
 "Yeah?"
 Ryouga blushed a little more. "I really meant what I said after
that."
 Ranma-chan frowned a little, trying to remember. Then she gasped,
and 
blushed. Akane had to stifle a giggle. 
 Ryouga smiled. "Come on Ranma, what do you say?"
 Ranma-chan sighed. "I don't know, I mean..."
 With a mischevious grin, Ryouga leaned in and started tickling
Ranma-
chan.
 "Hey! Ack! Cut it out! Aaaahhhh!!" 
 "I won't stop tickling you until you agree to go along with it!"
 "Ack! Aaahhh!! That tickles! Aaahhh!! Okay okay! I'll do it! Now let
me 
up!"
 Ryouga smiled and stopped tickling Ranma-chan. With an evil grin,
Ranma-
chan leaped on Ryouga and started tickling him. Akane sat there
laughing 
as Ryouga suffered. Finally, when Ranma-chan let up, they both looked
at 
Akane, then looked at each other, then grinned and leaped on her. The

ticklefest continued for several minutes.

 The souls of the drowned girl and the pig were happy. 
 Ranma-chan and Ryouga lay side by side on Ranma's futon, resting.
They'd 
actually done it. Ryouga asked, "So, did Ranko enjoy that?"
 "Yep. She's bouncing around giggling in here. How about Ryokuroi?"
 "He's in hog heaven." Both groaned at the horrible pun. After a
moment 
of silence, Ryouga said, "Ranma?"
 "Yeah?"
 "I...they're not the only ones who enjoyed it." Ranma-chan turned
and 
stared at him, eyes wide. He blushed. "I enjoyed it too."
 Ranma-chan blushed. "Ryouga...I don't know what to say..."
 Ryouga smiled. "It's okay, I knew that was going to shock you. You
have 
to admit that was nice though..." he trailed off, lost in his
happiness.
 Ranma-chan blinked, then thought about that. After a moment, she
said, 
"Actually, it was pretty nice...a lot better than I expected anyway."
She 
blushed harder.
 Suddenly, Ryouga turned to her again, grinning wickedly. She glanced
at 
him curiously. "Ryouga?"
 Grinning, he slipped his arms around her, and soon they were at it
for 
the second time that night.

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"Try to control yourself..."
"Hey, I'm 20. I'm male. I'm single. I'm not 
getting any. What do you expect?"
"...I stand corrected. And you...just...stand."
-Conversation between Lurker and an 
anonymous AOL user
---
The Eternal Lost Lurker
...gettin' ficcy wit' it...
EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net
http://www.geocities.com/~etlostlurker

"Heeere leezard, leezard, leezard..."
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