Sean Connor <sec@frodo.com> wrote:
On Thu, May 14, 1998 at 07:04:01PM +0000, Gary Kleppe wrote:
"Ranma, prepare to... UK!"
Aw, didn't we just have this discussion? Ryouga's only wandered as
far as Okinawa... He's never made it to Britain. :P
Yeah, but if he punts Ranma into LEO, Ranma could end up landing in
England.
"Darling!" Mousse's voice resonated through the Nekohanten.
"Darling, are you here?"
I guess we know that Mousse won't be eating P-Chan, since he's a
Mousse-Lum.
Ugh... that's worse than Allah my jokes combined!
"Oh, Ko-chan, that was wonderful!" Nabiki lay back against the
pillow, catching her breath. "I never knew you could use a gymnastics
club *that* way!"
Did she extend the spikes?
You know, Anand Rao said the same thing, and also made the UK
reference... (Gary ponders the implications)
So I guess it's not quite accurate to say that his bariken is worse than
his bite? :P
Yeah, and if it ain't bokken, don't fix it.
"Crushed pineapple," he replied, grinning broadly. "I be
bringin' in de whipped cream and chopped nuts next, wahine. We goan'
make a human sundae!"
'Scuse me...
<HURRRRGGGGGHHHH!>
You too? These pineapples must be contaminated or something...
"I guess it was. I didn't know I'd be a girl when I got there,
or that the dumb Guide would screw things up so much. I can't believe
that jerk! Where'd he get that 'kiss of death' stuff from? How can he be
a guide when he don't understand nothin' about your laws?"
I take it that the book was wrong, too?
Shamps changed it when she went to Nerima.
And why did Shampoo not seem to recognise the male Ranma as Ranma when
she first arrived in Nerima?
Good question... maybe it was a plan between Ranma and Shamps to give
her an eventual excuse for hanging around Nerima. Like I said, I'm sure
there are some things where this story can't be completely reconciled
with the canon.
Ranma paused a moment to take in the spectacle -- her muscular
yet supple form, her enormous breasts, her hair of lustrous jet black
that reached down past her waist. All of it displayed for him without a
trace of modesty or embarrassment. Quite a difference from Akane, who
seemed to be so ashamed of her own body, of her own femininity, that she
had to beat him up every time he almost saw something.
"every time he almost saw something?" Huh?
Every time he'd almost seen part of Akane's body that he wasn't supposed
to. I'll try to clarify this line.
Genma wheeled a cart into view. On it stood a television set
with attached VCR. Soun flipped the switch to on and slid a tape into
its mouth.
Not to mention the Jusenkyo Guide, Dr. Tofu, the Golden Pair, Sentarou,
Tsubasa, the Gambling King, the Nikuman Men, Picolette Chardin and
Madame St. Paul, Pantyhose Tarou, Mariko Konjou, Herb, Mint, Lime, Hinako,
Shinnosuke, Kumon Ryuu, Pink and Link, Akari, Rakkousai, Hayato Myoujin,
Konatsu and his stepfamily, Plum, Kiima, Saffron.
Whew!
Well, not all of those are recurring characters. Only the Guide, Tofu,
Pantyhose, Hinako, and Akari are, and Freemage has already done
Happi/Pantyhose. So if I added just two more scenes... naaaaah. :)
to everyone.) This was originally supposed to be just a quickie spamfic.
Maybe it should've stayed that way. But as I wrote, many of the
relationships expanded and took on lives of their own, as I started to
almost believe that they were possible.
I have no idea whether anyone else will be amused by this, but
it was fun to write. It was also a broadening experience for me, as most
of the relationships went strongly against my own character biases. If
you've read this far, I'd be happy to hear what you thought of this
story.
Most of the relationships here were given enough justification that I
might just accept them on one of my less cantankerous days. The Ukyou-
Gos one is a notable exception, though. It looks like you tried to
justify it, but the justification degenerated into some cheesy stock
lines.
You seem to be in the minority on that one... of course, you and I
agreeing on anything related to Ukyo would be a sign of the
apocalypse... :-)
Just how Gos stopped obsessing over Akane, or why he was
pretending to be obsessed, whichever the case may have been, wasn't
explained either.
Well, what I figure was that Gos went through middle school without
realizing that Ukyo really liked him, despite her best efforts to let
him know. Then after the scene shown here, he pretty much gave up on
Akane because she'd never love him and Ukyo did. Couldn't really think
of any natural way to make these points in the fic, though.
In a number of places, the dialogue doesn't sound natural because
you have the characters say things that are necessary for the reader
to understand the story, but that the characters involved wouldn't
bother saying because the other character would already know it.
I'm not at all surprised. I tried to minimize this sort of thing, but
it's pretty well inevitable in this kind of fic. Still, I'll go through
and see if there's anyplace I can do better.
Thanks for your comments!
Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics