Alright, I had revised this fanfic and picked out all those stupid mistakes.
I had also added in details and stuff like that. Please give C&Cs and don't
kill me for the spam I created... :) Comments are still welcomed. One thing,
I *might* write another part... ::evil grin:: 

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Not Quite Friends

A Yu Yu Hakusho fanfic by Siew Lee 

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[Hiei's story]

Makai was such a strange place; never leaving any place for the weak. Only 
the strongest survive... Cold, yet hot at times; life was really hard in 
this type of place. Blazing rays piercing the earth and freezing wind 
caressing the air, this was the place I called 'home'. It was night time 
now. 

It may not seem as your typical type of a comfortable to place to survive, 
but I grew up in here. Ironic, wasn't it? I was borned into a community of
koorime, but I was a male. Koorimes don't allow males within them... I was 
a fire demon, thus causing me to be thrown into a swollen river from the 
very minute I was borned. 

I had to fend for myself, I had no choice. 

I had never paid any attention to the drafty wind that permeated the inner 
chambers of Mukuro's palace. Somehow, today felt like a strange day; I was 
confused over problems that lay within me. 

Help? I never intended to demand help from anybody. In a way or another, 
I wished that I was never borned. I sighed melancholily. Problems came in 
waves and yet I didn't have the power to stop them. Sub-consciously, I put 
my katana down on the floor and sat down cross-legged. Every now and then, 
chilly air still blew past my face; paying no respect towards a person that 
indulged itself into understanding predicaments of life. Slowly, I closed 
my eyes... 

Yukina... She will never know the truth. I will never tell her that I was 
her long-lost brother. Maybe it might be better this way. I am Hiei, the 
Forbidden Child of Makai. Nearly everybody here wants my life; I can't be 
that selfish. I can't drag her into this game of deceit. 

Rumours in Makai portrayed me as a ruthless and cruel demon. I thought I 
was; but I can't hide away from the truth. I knew that Yukina was sad 
always, but what I did was good for her. I must admit, I would do anything 
to keep Yukina safe; she was my only relative in this whole wide world. I'll 
kill, I'll slaughter; at least Yukina was fine. Yukina, I really hope you 
would understand. I shall love you forever as a brother. But was I really 
that hard hearted? 

I picked up my katana from the cold marble floor. Quick as lightning, I 
unsheathed it. The polished surfaced reflected the dim lights in the vast 
chamber, making my sword scintillating even brightly than before. This 
very sword had tasted blood many times over. I killed with a slash, 
decapitating enemies. I attacked, so sanguine of success; but I failed, at 
last, to the hand of Yusuke Urameshi. I slipped the sword back into its 
ebony covering and put it down on the floor once more. Defeat was bitter to 
me. I had always thought I was the strongest, but I wasn't. I had to learn
how to accept the reality...

I seldom opened up to myself that frank; in fact I had always erected an 
invulnerable wall around me. Cold and icy, I may look, but I had my own 
reasons. Maybe it was the environment I grew up in that affected me to be 
this way. The weak must die. One must not be controled by emotions, only 
the feeble beings do. 

No! I don't have emotions! I didn't want to know what was love at all! Hiei, 
the Forbidden Child of Makai, must not be manipulated by Ningen feelings! 
But one question still intrigued me; am I a victim of emotional fallacy? Or 
was I a coward; afraid to admit anything? I rested my head against my folded 
legs, with hordes of doubts lingering in my mind. Will there be a precept to 
all these? Maybe... 

Slowly, I diverted my thoughts to Kurama. He was the most important person 
in my life next to Yukina. Kurama was my best friend, always supporting me 
morally, as mentally too. In my soul, Kurama shall occupy a special place
there; but was our relationship just to the extent of a simple friend? I 
really didn't know. Maybe he loved me, by the way how he helped me and 
supported me. Often, I had caught him eyeing me with that peculiar look of 
his. His eyes... they bore a strange light. Should I accept him? My head 
began to hurt a little now... Internal debates began and I didn't know what 
to do... 

"Hiei?" called out a female voice suddenly. I immediately bolted upright.
Darn! I had been caught off guard again! Mukuro was always that irritating. 

"Hn," I replied, keeping my eyes away from the warlord. I never like to 
look at her, she made my stomach churn. 

"Hiei... Can you do something for me?" asked Mukuro. I couldn't help 
noticing that her voice had suddenly went throatier. What was she up to? I 
wasn't sure and didn't want to know. Mukuro was a total bitch. 

I just kept silent, but my blood was already boiling. She had always used 
me for her own good. I felt... cheated. I didn't know why I had the nerve to 
stay by her side, as her successor. 

Mukuro began to walk slowly towards me. Almost daintily, she laid an arm 
around my shoulder; but I paid no heed. In a little corner of my mind, I was 
wondering away, what did she want this time? No... I won't do it this 
time... I don't care what she wanted and I'm going to retaliate! 

"Hiei, dear..." crooned Mukuro sexily, luring me to gaze into her eyes. 

"Stay away from me," I replied with a guttural grunt, warning her. 

"Hiei, let's make it once more..." tried Mukuro instead, unheeding my 
voice. 

"I said stay away from me!" I repeated, this time more sternly. I'm not 
going let her do this another time. I hate her! She exploited me ruthlessly, 
never once regretting what damage that might occur to me. I shall never 
forgive her for she had done... 

"No... dear. You are not going anywhere," answered Mukuro evilly. Suddenly, 
an invisible wave hit me and pushed me back to a pillar. A metal chain flew 
towards me and tied my helpless body against the structure. I screamed 
aloud mentally. Mukuro reached my side and fingered my face, then with a 
slash of her hand, she tore off my cloak...

***

It was long over now and I lay there, broken. She forced herself on me! She 
had broken my spirit to fight and win. I felt so helpless, I couldn't even 
defend myself against a woman like her... How could I protect Yukina in this 
manner? Unconsciously, I felt anguish and sorrow tightened in my chest. 
My whole body was aching from agony, the wrenching feeling of grief tore my 
soul apart. I was tired, mentally and physically. The world around me was 
bleak and miserable. There was no god! I just had to hold back the scream. 
I must not let Mukuro succeed in conquering me. 

Night felt so silent and lonely, in parallel for what I was experiencing 
now. In a gust of wind, I gathered my clothes and flew off. Maybe Kurama 
had some way to solve this dilemma of mine. Maybe I won't tell him, I 
always find solutions on my own. I shall never forget this night... The 
night which Mukuro broke me. Kurama... I'm coming. 

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All standard YYH disclaimers apply to this fic. 

Copyright reserved 1998 W. Siew Lee 

E-mail: Siew Lee <wsiewlee@tm.net.my> 
URL: http://members.xoom.com/hiei/yyh.htm

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