[The doors at the back of the theatre bang open and Rarstarr runs in.]
Rarstarr: Late again. Damn buses.
[Amy and Luna are sitting in their chair.]
Amy: Come on Rarstarr.
[Rarstarr rushes down, leaps over the back of his chair and lands
squarely in the seat. He then notices that Sephiroth is missing. 
Instead of Sephiroth, a bowler hat sitting atop a pair of shoes
are sitting in the chair.]

Rarstarr: Whose hat?
[Hat leaps up, the shoes kicking.]

Hat: <Childish male voice> I am no hat, I am the ace reviewer Bluebottle.
[The audience Cheers. Rarstarr and Amy spends a few seconds looking for
the audience.]

Rarstarr: Okay, I should have expected that.
Luna: Maybe we should get started, before we lose the FFML.
Rarstarr: Right, introductions. I'm Rarstarr, author at large. Joining
	me tonight are, as usual, Amy from Sailor Moon, Luna from Sailor 
	Moon, and replacing Sephiroth, BLuebottle, from that wonderful
	comedy radio show, the Goon Show.
[The non-existing audience cheers again.]

Rarstarr: And now onto the fic.

Another rather large piece of fertilizer hits the fan in this one...

Rarstarr: Things not to say to a bunch of FANS.
Amy: That disgusting Rarstarr.

------------------
Final Fantasy VII: Children of Jenova

Chapter 21

"...never happened before..."

"...the hell weren't you monitoring..."

"...told you this was a stupid idea..."

Rarstarr: Now the question is, was this for C.J.'s sake

C.J. opened her eyes and found the faces of the other three Turks
hovering over her. Raven and Stuart looked genuinely worried. Archer
had a sneer on his face that C.J. wanted to slap off. "What happened?"

Amy: Go for it girl!
[Luna and Rarstarr stare at her surprised. She blushes.]

"We're not sure." Raven was in the process of undoing the straps that
held C.J. to the chair. "Some kind of bug in the training program. You
passed out. Are you okay now?"

"I think so." C.J., grateful to have her hands free again, reached up and
rubbed her eyes. "My head feels weird." She attempted to stand up, but
her knees wobbled crazily and had Stuart not caught her, she would have
fallen flat on her face. Yes, something had happened that didn't quite
seem right, but C.J. just couldn't put her finger on it. When she tried to
think of what happened right before she passed out, all her mind would
offer up was a fleeting image of red and green lights. 

Bluebottle: Oh, pretty lights.
Rarstarr: Great, Bluebottle's gone psychodelic.

"You're gonna feel a little woozy for a while," he advised, pulling her
back to her feet. "Should I take her somewhere, or what?"

Raven nodded. "Yeah, they're putting her in Kain's house. Which is a
good thing--I don't think anyone's fed his cats since he--since the last
time he did. I'll be by later with her clothes."

Rarstarr: See, I told you about the cats plan, they're everywhere.
Amy: What plan?
Rarstarr: Oh, yeah, you weren't here.

"Cool." With that, Stuart led C.J. out of the room.

"I still think it's a bad idea to have her living by herself," Archer shot.
"If
you leave her alone she's gonna--" He stopped as Raven withdrew a
small remote control from her pocket and drew it across her neck in a
slicing motion. "Oh! In that case, no problem!" He snickered. "I'd feel
really sorry for the guy that had to wipe her up if you hit that, Raven..."

"Shut up, Archer." Raven slipped the remote back into her pocket. "I
don't want there to be any problems with you two. If you have a personal
problem with her, I'm sorry. Cope with it. If you try anything with her I -
will- step back and let her beat the living shit out of you again."

Bluebottle: Time for a setup!
Rarstarr: And here I thought you were cute.

Archer snorted. "You're really getting off on this, aren't you?"

"You're a caveman," Raven replied. "Like I said, she's six years old. And
besides, she's not my type."

All: .....
Rarstarr: I think we'll skip the obvious comments.
Amy: Why?
Rarstarr: Mainly because I don't want to start another of those tedious
	debates on unneccessary lesbainism in anime.

*              *              *

Reeve stirred and grunted as his half-asleep ears picked up the now-
familiar scraping sound of food being pushed into his cell. Hmph.
Another chicken leg. For a moment, the image of some creature that was
a cross between a chicken and a millipede popped into his head; he
wondered where in the world all these chicken legs were coming from.
Well, at least this one was still warm.

Luna: They don't plan to gas him, they've decided to give him food
	poisoning.

He was now extremely worried about Reno. The latter hadn't said a
coherent word since his visitor had done whatever he'd done to him, and
Reeve feared the worst. His other neighbor had not returned from
wherever they'd taken her. He had no way of knowing that at that very
moment she was walking in the front door of her new home in
Neomidgar.

He wished Scarlet would hurry up and get this over with. He was sick of
wondering if every cold chicken leg he got would be his last meal. He
wasn't even all that scared now; he was just irritated. He did, however,
intend to deck Scarlet right between the eyes before she did whatever she
was going to do to him. Screw chivalry. The bitch deserved it.

Luna: Is that any way to talk about a lady.
Rarstarr: Scarlet ain't no lady.

Reeve set the now-nude leg bone down on the tray and shoved the damn
thing back out the door, hoping someone would trip on it and break their
goddamn neck. Hopefully Scarlet. If not Scarlet, then Archer or Raven.
That done, he stretched out to try to get some more sleep.

The door to his cell opened a few hours later. Well, that was one mystery
solved: which cold chicken leg would be his last.

Amy: Nicely done.
Rarstarr: Yeah, a good lesson in how to say something without saying it.
Luna: Rastarr, that was almost nonsenscial.

*              *              *

"Um..." C.J. stood on the sidewalk of a rather large two-story house, jaw
hanging limply. "How much of this place is mine?"

"All of it," Stuart replied, tossing her the keys. "We'll probably need to
clean out the fridge...nah, maybe not. All he ever kept in there was beer
and lunch meat anyway."

"Who?" C.J. asked as she opened the front door. 

"The guy you're replacing." Two cats stepped out onto the porch to
meet C.J., and she reached down to pet them. One, with short black fur,
recoiled and scampered away from the strange new human. The other,
identical to the first except for its long, thick coat, tried to climb up
the
leg of C.J.'s flight suit. "Those are the cats. Their names are Precious
and
Dammit. Three guesses which is which and the first two don't count."

"Dammit?" C.J. picked the unfortunately-named cat up and held it at eye
level. "Why'd someone want to name their cat Dammit?"

Rarstarr: I can think of lots of reasons.
Luna: Do you want to be scratched?
Rarstarr: No, Dammit.
Luna: ...
Amy: <Giggles>

"His name used to be Shadow," Stuart replied, stepping into the house
and scratching Precious behind the ears. "But Kain was always following
him around going 'Dammit, stop climbing on my speakers!' and
'Dammit, quit biting my feet!' and "Dammit, stop bugging
Precious!'...well, he figured the cat thought his name was Dammit
anyway..."

C.J. set Dammit down on the floor, and the long-haired cat immediately
set about chasing the short-haired cat all over the living room. "I think I
see what you mean." She took a look around. "Ugh, what a mess." 

By a normal person's standards, Kain's house wasn't terribly messy, but
to neatniks like C.J. and Stuart, it looked like a demilitarized zone. A
pair
of jeans hung haphazardly over the back of the sofa, accompanied by a T-
shirt. An empty soda can stood on the magazine-littered coffee table;
beside it sat a glass that had probably once contained said soda and some
ice. It now contained a liquid that was clear at the top and brown at the
bottom and beginning to spawn mold, as it had been left unattended for
several days. And there wasn't a coaster under it. That, in a house usually
cleaned by Shera Highwind, was tantamount to blasphemy; C.J.
remembered the sort of glares her mother shot at her father when the
latter dared set a glass down on the coffee table without a coaster under
it. 

Luna: How touching.
Rarstarr: Yes, its nice to see some of the wedded bliss the Highwinds got
	after the end.

Mess aside, the place was pretty nice. And it was all hers. 

Stuart opened a pantry in the kitchen and withdrew two tins of cat food,
which he opened and dumped into bowls on the kitchen floor. Precious
and Dammit came running immediately and began to devour the yummy
stuff as Stuart threw the cans away. "Poor little guys. They were
starving."

"What happened to him, anyway?" C.J. asked.

"Who?"

"The guy I'm replacing." C.J. picked up a framed picture off the mantel;
it depicted the three Turks she knew (all obviously drunk, with Archer
wearing a baseball hat embroidered with the words "Designated
Drinker"), along with a grinning man sporting a long black ponytail. She
tapped this fourth person. "Is this him?"

"Yeah." Stuart sat down heavily. "I don't even like to think about it."

C.J. put the picture down. "He died, didn't he?" Stuart nodded slowly,
and C.J. sat down on the sofa as well. "What happened?"

"I--I did it. I didn't mean to." He rubbed his eyes. "You know a kid
named Zack, right?"

Bluebottle: Zack, the black haired kid with the huge sword right.
Rarstarr: No, that was the original, this one is Cloud and Tifa's son
	named after him.
Amy: Waitaminute, have you been playing the game Bluebottle?
Bluebottle: YEAH!
Luna: With what hands.

"Yeah..." C.J. didn't like this. "What about him?"

"Have you seen him lately?"

"No." C.J. remembered all too well the last time she had. "Some lady
took him away."

"Yeah." Stuart nodded. "That's Vail. The same lady that gave you the
shot in the office. Don't trust her. She does things to people. She did
something to Zack and he sort of went crazy."

"My dad told me he might have had Jen--bah, what's it called..."

"Jenova cells," Stuart offered. "Yeah. I've got 'em too. So did Kain. We
were both in SOLDIER, and that's part of what they did to make us
stronger. And that's how Zack was able to get in my head and make me--
make me do what I did." He paused and sighed. "He and Archer always
used to pick on me. Kain didn't do it to be mean, though. He told me one
time he wished I'd get mad at him and deck him for it. After this
happened...that was all I could think about. I keep wondering if he
thought I finally snapped before he died." He stood up and headed for the
door. "Um...don't tell anyone I told you about this, okay? I don't think
you were supposed to know."

Bluebottle: I will control your mind. Strain, strain.
Rarstarr: Don't try too hard will you.

"Sure," C.J. replied, and Stuart left quickly.

Once left alone, C.J. set about cleaning the place up. It wasn't too bad;
once she threw out the magazines and the trash and cleaned all the
spoiled stuff out of the fridge, all that was left was the dusting and
stuff.
Once or twice Precious came out from under the sofa, watching her
curiously but not allowing C.J. to pet her just yet; Dammit seemed to
enjoy flopping on the floor right in front of C.J.'s feet, especially when
she was carrying an armload of clothes or something.

Rarstarr: So tell me Luna, do you ever do that with Serena?
Luna: When did Serena ever tidy up.
Amy: She's done it once or twice.
Rarstarr: Loyal to the end, eh Amy?

While cleaning off the nightstand next to her new (and rather large) bed,
she found a few packets of what appeared to be balloons. She wondered
why a grown man would have a bunch of balloons lying around, and
promptly threw them out. As she finished with that, the doorbell rang.

Amy: <giggle> I don't think those are ballons C.J.
Rarstarr: Not that C.J. would have any use for them anyway, being six
	and all.
Luna: It could have been worse. She could have kept them.
All: <Shudder>

Raven stood on the front porch, carrying a few blue suits and a pair of
sensible shoes. "I brought your uniforms," she said. "Why don't you try
one on and see if I got the right size?"

"Sure..." C.J. took one of the uniforms into the bedroom and emerged a
few minutes later, fumbling with her tie. 

"Let me help you with that." Raven tied the tie and tugged at it a bit.
"That's not too tight, is it?" C.J. shook her head although the tie was a
bit snug against the collar Raven had put on her earlier, and Raven
plucked maternally at her lapels. "It looks good on you. Does it fit all
right?"

Rarstarr: So, Sailor Solathei, are you going to draw a picture of this
	too, I think I'd like to see it.
Amy: Yes, it would be nice.

"It's a little itchy," C.J. replied. "And the shoes are too big."

Raven took a look. Sure enough, the shoes she'd brought were a full
three or four sizes too big. "Sorry. I was going by those boots you had
on. Well, that doesn't matter. I figured you were going to need some
food here, so I had Heidegger petty-cash you a small advance on your
paycheck." She handed C.J. an envelope. "You can go buy a pair that fits
if you want."

C.J. opened the envelope, looked inside, and nearly fell down. "This is a
SMALL advance!?" 

Rarstarr: I want that job!
Amy: Even though you'd be a villain?
Rarstarr: I'm smart enough to know when to bail out. Like the orginal
	Turks.

"Did I forget to mention that Shinra pays us very well for our work?"
Raven smiled as C.J. continued to sputter and babble about the contents
of the envelope. "Well, I'll be by in the morning to pick you up for work.
A little hint--don't untie your tie every night, just loosen it up and pull
it
off. Saves a lot of time. I'd drive you to the store, but there's some
things
I need to do at work so call a cab. Bye."

"Bye," C.J. replied numbly, still staring at the fat wad of thousand gil
bills
in the envelope. She barely heard the door shut, barely heard the sound of
Raven's car starting up and driving away. This was quite, as her father
had once said, a chunk of change. She sat down, found a notepad and a
pen, and began to make out a shopping list. She told herself she would
buy only things she needed, and began to write: cereal, TV dinners (she
had, unfortunately, inherited Cid's cooking prowess...or lack thereof),
toothbrush, shoes. She didn't care for the plain sheets on her new bed,
and she added "pretty sheets" to the list. She idly glanced over the former
occupant's music library and added "CD's" to the list...

*              *              *

The Highwind touched down near Wutai, as Cid decided attempting to
land the thing within Neomidgar city limits would be a bad move in the
extreme. Upon seeing the sprawling metropolis, Cid wondered why the
hell Godo wasn't raising a bigger stink about it--where there had once
been unmolested plateaus connected by rope bridges, there were now
towers of glass and steel and strip malls. The valleys below were
Neomidgar's slums, and like a seventy-story middle finger directed at
them, the Shinra tower stood on the central plateau. 

The group, minus Yuffie, now sat in the Turtle's Paradise quaffing cold
ones and formulating a plan of action. It had been pretty much unanimous
that they should spend the night in Wutai. They weren't sure what they
were going to do in the morning, though.

Yuffie had gone home. Mainly because she needed to pick up a few
changes of clothes and the three Materia she'd found during her travels
after Sephiroth's defeat. She tiptoed into her room, hoping the old man
wasn't home, quietly pulled the poster concealing her secret stash aside,
and withdrew a small wooden box from the hidden alcove. She opened
it...and found it empty. "Damn!" she hissed.

"Looking for something?"

Yuffie looked up quickly, and found her father staring at her with a hint
of amusement. "Um...no, not really, just picking up some clothes and--"
Godo opened his hand to reveal two small red orbs and one green one.
"Um, and those too..."

Rarstarr: Two summon and a magic.
Amy: Color coding?
Rarstarr: Yeah, I love the materia system. I hope they improve on it
	in Final Fantasy VIII
Bluebottle: Quadra Magic!
Rarstarr: Shudder.

"Yuffie, how many times do I have to tell you..." Godo drew a deep
breath, and Yuffie braced herself for the butt-chewing she was sure she
was about to receive-- "Materia doesn't do you any good sitting in a box
like that!"

"Okay, Dad, I shoulda have given them to you, I'm--huh?" She looked
up, puzzled. "Dad, are you drunk?"

"Of course not!" Godo snapped. "I mean, you found these rare Materia
and you've got them gathering dust here...anyway, I took the liberty of
playing with them a bit." He handed the three little orbs over to Yuffie.
"Put them to good use."

"Um, I was planning to. Thanks, Dad...I think..." Yuffie pocketed the
three Materia and gathered her changes of clothes. "Shinra hasn't been
messin' with you, have they?"

"They leave Wutai alone most of the time," Godo sighed, sitting down on
the futon. "I think they believe they have no use for us anymore. But I
still don't like them building their city so close to ours."

"Neither do I." Yuffie stood up and headed toward the door. "Don't
worry, Dad. If they mess with you I'm gonna shove this cross so far up
their--"

"YUFFIE!"

"--noses it'll take three weeks and the Jaws of Life to get it out!" Yuffie
blinked at Godo, who was shaking his head and groaning. "What?
What'd you think I was gonna say?"

All: <laugh>
Rarstarr: Either a good save there by Yuffie...
Amy: Or one hell of a mistake by Godo.

*              *              *


Perfect.

C.J. stepped back from the bed and smiled. The plain old ugly sheets that
had come on the bed were gone; in their stead were pink sheets topped
by a comforter with a bright-colored star pattern. She had changed out of
the itchy blue suit into the T-shirt and jeans she had bought on her
shopping trip, and her refrigerator was full of frozen dinners, cream soda,
ice cream, and various snacks. Downstairs, Precious and Dammit played
happily with the assortment of new catnip mice and jingling plastic balls
their new mistress had given them. A large pillow in the shape of a
Moogle sat at the head of her bed, surrounded by smaller stuffed animals,
and a newborn Pocket Mog sat in the front pocket of her jeans, beeping 
occasionally to tell C.J. to push the "feed" button. And she had barely
made 
a dent in her "small advance."

Rarstarr: Stuff the risks, I want that job.
Amy: I'd never have to save up for a manga, uh I mean text book again.
Bluebottle: Think of all the silly equipment I could buy.
Luna: Hmm, Catnip.
R&A: <Stare at luna>

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. But five years...hell, five years
was almost her whole life up to now. She would be old when it was over.
Eleven. Almost over the hill. 

Something she hadn't thrown away caught her eye--an almost-empty
pack of cigarettes sitting on the dresser. Experimentally, she lit one and
tried to inhale, but ended up sputtering, coughing and fanning the air.
These were different from the cigarettes Dad and Reeve smoked; they
were black and smelled of cloves. Not bad, as long as she didn't inhale.

Luna: You shouldn't smoke C.J. it's bad for your health.
Rarstarr: And flying a voice operated jet plane isn't?
Amy: He has a point.
Rarstarr: She is a little young though.

The phone began to ring, and it took about four rings before C.J.
remembered that this was her house and it was her phone that was
ringing. She picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hello, dear." It was Raven. "Listen, I wanted to let you know you've
got your first assignment. You'd better take a nap; I'll be by to pick you
up at seven. You're going to have a long night ahead of you. You might
want to start developing a taste for coffee."

"Sure...why?"

"You've got night guard on the gas chamber. Easiest job in the
world...and the most boring. Bring a book or something."

Bluebottle: The Gas Chamber!
[Dramatic sting of music]
Rarstarr: Isn't Reeve about to be gassed?
Luna: This could get ... messy.

"Okay." C.J. scratched her head. She thought she would be guarding an
empty gas chamber, which sort of made sense; it just wouldn't do to have
people wandering into something like that. Dammit hopped up onto the
bed, catnip mouse clenched in his teeth, and C.J. stroked his back.
"Sounds easy enough."

Luna: Catnip.

"Believe me, dear, you couldn't possibly mess this one up. See you at
seven." With that, Raven hung up.

C.J. set the phone down and sighed. She scooted Dammit out of the way,
pulled back the sheets, and crawled under them. It wasn't until her head
hit the pillow that she realized just how tired she was, and she was asleep
almost immediately.

*              *              *

While the others drank their cares away at Turtle's Paradise, Elena lay
cupped in the hand of one of the Da-Chao statues, gazing up at the huge
stone face she and Yuffie had once been tied to. Next to her sat her
whole computer setup, hooked into Shinra's mainframe once more with
little scout programs running around trying to extract something
worthwhile. While she waited for them to do so, she lay back and stared
up at the statue above her.

Amy: The ultimate in take anyway hacking hardware. Where does she get it?
Rarstarr: Probably saved her money from when she was a Turk.
Amy: That would do it.

/Why did I come here?/ she thought, looking up at the half-closed eyes of
the stone face. Not a site full of pleasant memories. She still believed
that
by dropping that fat old pervert off the side of the mountain, Reno had
saved her from a fate worse than death.

"D'oh! Sorry, I didn't know you were up here too..."

Speak of the Devil. The annoying little elf herself was trotting up the
mountain. "Go away, Yuffie."

Yuffie pretended not to hear. "Jeez, I figured you'd never want to see
this place again, after that old fart hung us up there..."

"What do you want?" Elena snapped, and Yuffie looked a bit hurt. 

"I dunno. I just thought I'd come up here and hang out a while. I didn't
mean to piss you off or anything." She turned and started back down the
mountain.

"Wait a minute," Elena finally said, and Yuffie turned back around. "I
thought I wanted to be alone. I guess I don't."

Silently, Yuffie turned back around and flopped down in the statue's
hand as well. "You're worried about Reno, huh?"

Amy: Presceptive.
Rarstarr: You have to be in order to pick the materia right off someone's 
	sword.

"I'm worried about all three of them," Elena replied, sitting up.
"Especially Junior."

"Aw, c'mon." Yuffie grinned. "Chibi-Cid's a tough kid. I bet she's
already kicked Heidegger in the 'nads at least once."

"You're crude," Elena scolded, but she giggled anyway. "Though I
WOULD pay good money to see that..." She drew a sigh. "Okay...okay.
I -am- worried about Reno...a lot."

Rarstarr: You're not the only one.
Amy: I'm sure there are thousands of gamers that would join you.

And once that thought had worked their way out of Elena's mind and
into the realm of the spoken word, others followed in a sudden flood of
words and then tears. Her uncertainty about having gone to Nibelheim
instead of staying with Reno and Rude in Junon. Her fear that the last
words Reno had heard her say were those unkind ones on the Highwind.
And worst of all, the fact that even after seven years she still missed
Tseng so badly that she wouldn't allow herself to so much as think about
taking Reno up on his numerous propositions.

Bluebottle: <Sniff> Oh dear, I'm soaking my hat.
Rarstarr: Poor Elena.

Yuffie was genuinely flabbergasted. Not knowing what the hell else to
do, she awkwardly reached out and drew Elena to her, letting the older
woman sob against her shoulder as the flow of words was overcome by
that of tears. "C'mon, Elena, cut it out...it'll be okay. We'll find him."
She patted Elena on the head as the sobs tapered off into sniffles and then
silence. "It'll be oka--what the hell is that?"

"Huh?" Elena cast red eyes toward her computer setup, which was
beeping crazily. "I--I don't know!" She scooted over and took a peek at
the screen. "What the--someone's sending something! That's
impossible! They're on to me!"

"Oh, great! Cut it off!" Yuffie began to paw through the messes of cables
and wires hooked to the numerous components of the system. "C'mon,
shut the friggin' thing off!"

"Hold it!" Elena brushed Yuffie's hand out of the nest of cable and stared
at the screen in disbelief. "It's a personnel file...Department of
Administrative Research..." The color drained from her face as she
opened the file and took a peek at its contents. "Oh my God. Oh my
God. Yuffie, look at this!"

Bluebottle: Aha, a spy in Shinra.
Luna: But who?
Rarstarr: I'm betting on Raven.
Amy: Nope its Stuart.
Luna: I suppose we'll just have to wait and see.

Yuffie peered over Elena's shoulder and almost fell over backwards. "No
way!"

"Come on!" Elena whipped the whole mess of technology into her
briefcase and started down the mountain with Yuffie in tow. "Cid needs
to see this right now!"

*              *              *

"Those aren't too tight, are they?" Archer asked with a smart-aslecky
grin, referring to the thick canvas straps that now secured Reeve's wrists
to the arms of the gas chamber's rather uncomfortable chair. 

"Oh, they're just peachy." Reeve replied with an equally smart-alecky
grin. "How very considerate of you to ask." Actually, his left hand was
already starting to develop that pins-and-needles feeling of falling
asleep,
but damned if he'd say anything about it. "Are you going to bother with
my feet, or what?"

Rarstarr: Of course not Shinra hasn't learnt anything since Tifa's 
	execution.

"I think Scarlet wanted to do that herself," Archer replied. "I'd like to
hang around and watch, but I've got things to do. Later." With that, he
turned and walked out of the gas chamber. Almost immediately after,
Scarlet came in looking sleazy as ever.

"Oh, the gates of Hell have opened," Reeve shot as Scarlet shooed the
two remaining grunts out of the gas chamber. Great. Alone with the she-
devil. "So what nastiness do you have planned for me, Scarlet?"

Scarlet grinned and crouched at Reeve's feet, resting a hand on his knee,
and snickered as he recoiled. "Vail really came through for me this time.
If you're planning on taking a few deep breaths and keeling over dead,
think again." She pulled the strap around his right ankle. "A nice strong
man like you..." Scarlet finished with the strap, reached up, and drew her
fingertips down his neck, down the front of his shirt, almost to the
waistband of his slacks before going to work on Reeve's left ankle, and
Reeve clenched his teeth so tightly he was sure he heard enamel cracking
under the strain. "You'll last at least two days." She strapped Reeve's
left
ankle in and sat back, again placed her hands on his knees, and wantonly
slid them up almost to his hips. "Any last requests I could take care of
for
you?" Scarlet whispered, still grinning like a cat. 

Scarlet's words and actions disgusted Reeve almost to the point of losing
his lunch...but maybe there was a sliver of a chance here. "As a matter of
fact, Scarlet," he said with a forced smile, "There -is- something you can
do for me to make my last moments alive a wee bit brighter..." 

"Oh, really?" Scarlet purred, resting her chin on Reeve's knee. 

Once again Reeve's gag reflex tried to kick in, but he fought it back.
"Really. But I need you to undo one of my hands first. Preferably the left.
Archer did it a little too tight and now my hand's asleep..."

"Why not," Scarlet shrugged. She reached up and unbuckled the wrist
restraint--

--And toppled backwards onto her ass as Reeve snatched his hand free of
the strap, reared back, and decked Scarlet right between the eyes, just as
he'd prayed and hoped he'd get to do before he ran down the curtain and
joined the choir invisible. "Thanks," Reeve grinned as Scarlet shook the
cobwebs out of her head. "Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

All: Hahahahahahaha.
Luna: Good final request.
Rarstarr: Invisible choir, do think that's the one singing in "One Winged
	Angle"?
Amy: If it is, then Reeve will sing out of key, just to piss off Sephiroth.
Rarstarr: I'm glad he's not here.

"How dare you!" Scarlet spat. "Striking a lady--"

Reeve looked around. "I don't see any ladies here." The shocked
expression on Scarlet's face struck him as extremely funny, and he began
to laugh.

"That's right, sweetheart." Scarlet stood up and tugged at her skirt. "You
keep right on laughing. We'll see who's laughing this time tomorrow
when you're begging me to come in here and shoot you in the head to
put you out of your misery." With that, she spun on her heel and walked
stiffly out of the gas chamber, not even bothering to re-secure Reeve's
hand. The door was shut and bolted thrice behind her, and for a small
eternity the gas chamber was silent. The only sound Reeve could hear
was the pounding of his heart. 

Bluebottle: I'll blow the door with my kill-o-zap gun. <Tickle> Oh,
	the ends fallen off.
[Rarstarr pulls out a lever]
Rarstarr: Here, break the door down, with this break!

Then there came a soft hissing sound, barely audible but just enough so
to send a slow chill down Reeve's spine. Gas. 

Scarlet had said two days, maybe. He could do one of two things. He
could try holding his breath as much as possible and only breathing this
shit when he had to in hopes that Cid would show up and bust him out of
this hell-hole. Or he could just get it over with as quickly as possible.

Reeve drew in a shallow, experimental breath of the stuff and coughed
softly. No apparent ill effects other than a slightly uncomfortable prickly
feeling in the back of his throat, along with a rather bitter and
unpleasant
taste in his mouth. He took another breath and sneezed loudly. "My
kingdom for a Kleenex," he mumbled, noticing with some alarm that the
faint itchy sensation in his throat had grown more intense. /Oh God,/ he
thought. /What if Scarlet's right...if this keeps getting worse.../

He tried not to think about that.

Rarstarr: That is indeed hell.
Amy: Don't worry help is on the way!
Rarstarr: You forgetting something, Final Fantasy has a history
	of tragic deaths.
Amy: oh.

*              *              *

Tifa cast a glance toward Cid and Vincent, who were sitting at a table
halfheartedly picking at a platter of some appetizer or another and
talking...well, it appeared Cid was doing most of the talking while
Vincent just sat and listened as he always did. She had a fair idea what
the conversation was about: Junior. Poor kid. She had come so close to
finding Cid again, only to be plucked out of the air by the goddamn
Shinras. She figured Cid was feeling something close to the way she felt
when she'd found Cloud in the basement of the Shinra mansion, staring
into space and mumbling about Zack. 

Somehow she knew Cloud was all right, at least for now, and that he
would come back to them; he would come back as he had before, and he
would bring Zack back with him. Everything would be okay. 

Rarstarr: Yeah right, will things ever be the same again?
Amy: You're the one who always says things are never the same again.
Luna: She's got you there Rarstarr.

Sure it would. 

Wouldn't it?

"Screw it. I'm not hungry." Cid let fall a small egg roll onto the platter

>from whence it had come, and Vincent watched it drop. "Vincent, what

the hell are we gonna do tomorrow? We can't go flyin' the Highwind
right into Neomidgar and it'll take too damn long to go by foot."

"We could try to catch some more chocobos," Vincent offered.

"Damn chocobo field here's gone. The bitch built a parking garage over
it." Cid lit up a cigarette and puffed on it angrily. "I saw it on the way
in.
And ain't no way we can stuff enough chocos for all of us in the pen on
the Highwind--"

The door of the bar flew wide open, its hinges nearly ripped out of the
doorframe, and Elena tore through them with Yuffie in tow. "Cid..." she
panted, flopping down in a chair next to him, "you gotta see this like
right now..."

"Damn, girl, you scared the crap outta me!" Cid picked up his cigarette,
which had fallen dangerously close to the appetizer platter. "What'd you
find?"

"Look at this!" Elena whipped out her little computer, popped open the
file she'd been sent, and shoved the thing in front of Cid. "I don't
believe
it either."

Cid slowly set the cigarette down in what he thought was an ashtray, but
was actually his beer mug, and squinted at the words on the screen.

[ShinRa Inc. Personnel File #A2096-98]
[Department of Administrative Research]

"That's you, right?" Cid asked, looking up at Elena. "Er, was you..."

"Yeah, the Turks. Keep reading."

Rarstarr: Funny, I thought they were something like Administrative Resource
	Acquisition.
Bluebottle: What does that mean.
Luna: A fancy way of saying they steal things and kidnap people.
Amy: And Rarstarr's confusing what he read in a fanfic with the game
	again.
Rarstarr: <Shrugs> Okay, if you say so.

Cid did so, and as he did his eyes grew wider and wider. 

[Highwind, Cid Aerin Jr., Captain]

"Must have been some kinda field promotion. That's the minimum rank
considered for--"

"Shut it, Elena...at least they spelled her middle name right..." Cid fixed
his eyes on the next line.

Rarstarr: Nice middle name.
Bluebottle: Now I know you're true name you are within my power!
Amy: What is he talking about?
Rarstarr: In western supersition it was thought that your true name,
	or what we now call a middle name, could give witches power over
	you. That's why, even to this day, people don't feel comfortable
	giving out their middle name.
Amy: Fascinating aside there.
Luna: Not really.

[Awards/Decorations: None]
[Note: Operative displays Mako-enhancement characteristics (i.e.
distinctive luminous green eyes, enhanced physical strength, etc.).
Conscripted as sentence for crimes against the Company; operative is
therefore required to wear a tracking collar until her supervisor can be
convinced of her loyalty to the Company.]

"The hell's a tracking collar?" Cid spat.

"Pretty much what it sounds like," Elena began, trying to put this
delicately. "It's equipped with a homing device so they can track her
wherever she goes...along with a packet of high explosives in case she
does something she shouldn't, or she tries to take it off without the key."

Rarstarr: Al la Cyber City OEDO 808. Neat devices, but I prefer Cortex
	bombs from Cyberpunk.
Amy: What's the difference.
Rarstarr: Cortex Bombs are surgically inserted into skull and moniter
	your thoughts. If you think about escaping or getting it removed,
	seriously of course, BOOM, your head decorates the walls.
Amy: Yuck.

Cid ground his teeth quietly as Elena reached over and scrolled the
screen down a bit, and he drew a sharp gasp as he saw the ID photo
attached to the file. For a moment he thought Shinra had an old photo of
him in Junior's file. The eyes were Shera's, just as Cid had always knwon
they would be someday...but apart from that, the resemblance was
uncanny, right down to the piss-off-and-die look Junior had been
shooting at whoever had taken this picture. "Elena...is that..."

Rarstarr: So Shera has glowing green eyes?
Amy: I think the photo must be black and white.

"Yeah." Elena nodded. "It's Junior. They drafted her as her sentence for
some bullshit charges they pinned on her, and she--Cid, we gotta get her
out of there. There's no telling what those assholes could be making her
do."

"Goddamnit..." Cid rubbed his eyes and sighed. "We gotta figure out
how the hell we're gonna get IN there first."

Yuffie fidgeted around in her chair a bit. "I think maybe I could help you
with that."

"No way," Cid replied quickly. "Last time you said you were gonna help
us get around here we almost ended up scrapin' you and Elena off the
bottom of the damn mountain to get our friggin' Materia back!"

"Fine," Yuffie sniffed. "I guess you just want me to disappear, huh? No
problem." She grinned a bit. "Inviz!"

One of the green Materia socketed in Yuffie's cross flashed...and Yuffie
vanished.

"What the fuck!?" Cid came out of his chair...reached out to feel the
space of empty air where Yuffie had once been...felt -something-...

"Hey!" Yuffie's voice yelped, and Cid realized in shock and horror
exactly where his hand had landed. Something grabbed hold of his arm
and threw him onto the floor, and his beer mug seemed to levitate, rising
into the air and stopping right over his head, where it tipped over and
dumped its contents right in his face. "HENTAI!!!"

Rarstarr: Why is it, that if there is an invisible woman, someone grabs
	her in totally the wrong place?
Amy: Comedy.

Yuffie rematerialized, standing angrily over Cid, holding an empty beer
mug on one hand. "Think before you grab next time, jackass!" she spat,
sitting back down.

"How the hell was I supposed to know I was grabbing your...uh, your..."
Cid turned crimson and sat back up, noticing that the bar had gone silent
and that every eye in the place was trained on him. "How'd you do that?"

Yuffie plucked the green Materia out of her cross and tossed it to him.
"Illusion Materia! Kickass, huh?"

"Wait a minute..." Vincent frowned in deep thought. "Yuffie, would that
spell work on something bigger?"

"I dunno," Yuffie replied. "How big?"

"Vincent, what are you..." Cid stood up and followed Vincent's gaze out
the window. "Hey...you think it'd work?"

"It's worth a try, isn't it?" Vincent replied, and Cid grinned widely.

"Shit, we can't be sittin' here scratchin' our butts like this!" He went
around the bar, rounding up Tifa, Rude, Barret, and Red XIII. "We got
work to do!"

Rarstarr: The Highwind, invisible, scary.
Amy: Especially if those missiles in Cid's Extreme break are from it.
Rarstarr: Seems a reasonable assumption.
Luna: It would certainly make for one hell of a surprise attack.

*              *              *

C.J. yawned as Raven led her into a small room on the top floor of Shinra
Tower. "Make yourself comfortable," she said. "The snack bar is
downstairs, just follow the signs. Ladies' room is down the hall, turn
right, first door on the left. I don't know whose radio that is over there,
but go ahead and blast it if it'll keep you awake. Nobody hangs around
here after hours except security and Vail, and Vail's down in her little
cave--er, lab--so she won't hear it, and you outrank the security grunts so
you can tell them where to stick it if they whine. Stuart comes in at six
in
the morning and then you go home. Any questions?"

"Nah," C.J. replied, settling into a chair and extracting a book from her
bag. "I think I can handle it."

"Lovely, dear. See you tomorrow." Raven waved and walked off, leaving
C.J. alone.

The clock on the wall pointed to seven-thirty. This was going to be a
long and dull night indeed. C.J. stood up and found herself a decent
rock station, then she settled back into her chair with her book. She never
did
get to finish it, and she wondered what happened to the big blue
chocobo...

"Excuse me," came a soft, very familiar male voice, and C.J. looked up
quickly. She was still alone.

"I'm losing it," she mumbled and continued to read.

Then once more: "Um...hello? Is someone--" The voice stopped in mid-
sentence, interrupted by a short coughing fit, and continued. "--someone
there? Would you mind finding a classical station?"

"What!?" C.J. dropped her book. She had not imagined that. But there
wasn't anyone else there. There wasn't anyone in the gas chamber...was
there? Only one way to find out. She stood up slowly and crossed the
room, walking toward the triple-bolted door set in the far wall. 

/It's empty. There's nobody in there./

/They wouldn't lock it if it was empty./

Luna: The voices of reason arguing in her head.
Rarstarr: Tell me, does anyone actually have conversations in their
	head like that?

C.J.'s feet froze, and she willed them to move again. They did. 

/Raven didn't say there was anyone in there./

/She didn't say there wasn't, either./

There was a small window in the heavy door, much like the one that had
been in the door of her cell, and she squinted and peered through it. 

The gas chamber was not empty.

The light inside it was dim, but she could see a man strapped into the
chair that was the chamber's sole furnishing, save for his left hand which
was free...dark, slightly wavy hair that was just long enough to pull back
into a short ponytail...neatly trimmed beard...dark slacks, light dress
shirt.
She couldn't see his eyes, but she knew they were brown, and she let out
a loud gasp.

"I guess you're not going to change the station," he sighed, and C.J. fell
away from the door biting her lip hard enough to draw blood.

/omigod omigod oh no oh no nonono.../ Once more the six-year-old
within attempted to break free, threatening to do so with an ear-
shattering scream and a torrent of tears. /Mommy Daddy help someone
help please help help help.../

---

Rarstarr: Will Cid Junior break free of her programming?!
Amy: Will Reeve survive the gas chamber?!
Luna: Will Cid arrive to save them both?!
Bluebottle: Send answers on the back of an envelope to ...
[Rarstarr pulls out a mallet and slams Bluebottle into next week.]

Author's Notes: *runs whimpering from angry hordes prodding her in the
ass with Venus Gospels and Silence Glaives* Awright, awright, sorry this
took so damn
long...as I said, the end of Chapter 20 was bugging me too much and I
couldn't start this till I finished that...once again, Scarlet lives up to
her
reputation *coughsleazybitchcough*...rest assured, she WILL get
hers...well, now we know what one of Yuffie's mystery Materia does
(Inviz was used pretty well in at least one other FF game, why not
FF7?)...sharp folks will pick up on the fact that the other two are of the
Summon variety, and you can count on them being rather impressive
ones...and at long last, the Elena/Yuffie friendship thing appears! I kinda
picture their friendship as similar to that of Usagi and Rei; they act like
they can't stand each other if anyone's watching ^_^...is C.J. going to
snap, or is she going to hang in there?...Things aren't looking too hot for
poor Reeve. At least his last request was granted, heh...later.
------------------
--Sailor Solathei
"Ice...snacks...and--fifty gallons of BEER!? What kind of life does she
lead, anyway!?" --Shinji Ikari
"Hang on to your drawers and don't piss in 'em!" --Cid Highwind
"A brand new ML to blow up! Wai!" --Zen
"Excuse me, I am a lost little boy. Can you help
me?.........................well, SCREW YOU TOO!" --Cartman
--------------------
Happiness is a belt-fed weapon
--------------------
Sailor Solathei's Cid Highwind shrine (still under very heavy construction)
http://members.xoom.com/ssolathei/cidshrine.html and the Cid Highwind Otaku
Ring: http://members.xoom.com/ssolathei/ring.html

Rarstarr: Keep 'em coming Solathei. We're awaiting.
Amy: Yes, and maybe next time we do this, Sephiroth himself will be here.
Rarstarr: Maybe he'll be more talkative that the hat on legs.
Amy: Time to say goodbye Rarstarr.
Rarstarr: Goodbye Rarstarr.
Amy: Baka!


-----------
Rarstarr,
David Farr
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~djfarr/
djfarr@ihug.co.nz