Hello. My name is Glazius Falconar... and I'm a spamaholic.

Disclaimers: Bubblegum Crisis and the commercial being spoofed are
copyrights of their respective creators and all distributors of their work.

Camera directions are invisible. Just send us 2500 yen for some genuine
whale oil, which you can rub on your screen to... hmm? Oh. I have just been
informed that camera directions are in []. Spoilsports.

*****

[Open on a shot of a rather disreputable-looking bar. Sylia Stingray is
seated in one of the booths, facing the camera.]

Sylia: Rogue boomers? Sure. I can have our four best operatives on the scene
in... oh, fifteen minutes or so. Of course, it's going to cost you...

[Cut to the Chairman's office at Genom HQ. A figure is seated in a large,
high-backed chair, swathed in shadows. His voice, however, is recognizable.]

Quincy: Rogue boomers? Such a pity... I was certain we had tracked down the
last of them. Ah well. We can lease you a squadron of eight anti-personnel
boomers... for a modest fee, of course. If you want them within the hour...
that will naturally be a little extra.

[Cut to AD Police headquarters. Leon's sitting at a rather important-seeming
desk, grumbling a bit. Behind him, on the wall, is a flashy logo; a stylized
K-12 taking down a boomer. A red phone rings, and flashes as it does so.
Leon answers it.]

Leon: AD Police Priority Boomer Response Service! Rogue boomers? Not a
problem, ma'am. We'll have twelve of MegaTokyo's finest there within two
hours...

[Leon smiles as he says his next few lines.]

Leon: What? No charge, ma'am. It's a public service.

[Cut to a shot of a three-part black screen, split vertically.]

Announcer (v.o.): So! Four...

[Sylia's picture appears in the leftmost pane.]

Announcer (v.o.): ...eight...

[Quincy's shadow-swathed form appears in the center pane.]

Announcer (v.o.): ...twelve.

[Leon's smiling face appears in the right-most pane.]

[Cut to a shot of the logo we saw behind Leon, accompanied by the words "AD
Police Priority Boomer Response Service".]

Announcer (v.o.): What's YOUR priority?

Fade to black.

*****

Stop this man before he writes again!

--G. Falconar