So I'm deleteing the 377 messages that are waiting for me...reading some 
skipping most (at some point today I need to do some work...) and I see 
this message from some one named Toshi, it says something like "are you 
all stupid?"  So I look at it.  It doesn't seem to be written in english 
so I move on.  Then I see this, I think what the hell, I'll give it a 
look...So I spend the next few minutes trying to translate... I think 
this is close:

MSTs not wanted. Go away Megane 6.7 

Hello, my name is Flameme, Mr. Flameme.  Excuse me, do you have a light?

Praise welcomed

Warning Ego approaching critical mass.

Criticism not welcomed

I couldn't find a garbage can so instead I posted this fic here.

Toshi's Adventures in The World of the Lion King

I'm not sure if this was left in english to help the reader get the jist 
of the story or what...

Toshi was walking down the street as usual for a normal
day of walking, but no talking. 

I, Toshi, walked down the street speaking to no one.

He had to find the hole in
time in the space warp vision otherwise all reality would die
and no one would survive the nuculear explosion of the time
space matter blast.

The reason for my silence was the impending destruction of everything.  
The whole sphere of reality as it is percieved my humanity was in dire 
straits.

*KABOOM*

Oh damn, too late.

There wuz an explozion that occured in the market place and 
Toshi flew into the air with the magical powers that were given
to him by the Gods. The Gods upon meeting him had said,
"Toshi is the wisest being in all of existence we must worship
him or suther the consequnces!"

Hark!  That is not the afore mentioned end of the world/everything else, 
that was just a normal sounding detonation.  Gads there must be some kind 
of lunatic bomber on the loose.  I'll use the powers of flight I 
inherited from my father, the Greatest American Hero!

Using his magical eyesight he saw the explosion in the distance.

After reaching crusing altitude I saw the building that had been the 
target of the terrorist attack.

Shock to his mind it was a building explosiong in the distance.

My god!  Thats my highschool, good thing I skipped out today to brood 
about the impending doom.

"MAGICAL POEWR WAV!"

Not sure what to do, I used my secret attack, Extra Cheese!

Explosion all people were savd from DEATH! They all shouted
in unison!
"Topshi is the Greatest...."
Toshi said,"What?"
"PERSON IN THE WORLD!"

With that much cheese the rageing inferno was quickly quenched, I was 
able to save All the people in the building.  They were very fortunate 
that this was one of those shrapnelless explosive devices.  Needless to 
say everyone was very happy and cheered my like the hero I was.

They all bowed down before Toshi's superior intellect which was
much betterer than their own intellectual minds.  Then a portal 
of doom opened and Toshi did say,"Dreadful objects, so familiar"

The city gave me a large feast and several sulty women were hitting on me 
when a strange and dreadfull portal opened before me.  I remarked that it 
seemed familier, everyone agreed.

(Ain't i smart. He, he, he.) 

Have I shown you my Oscar impersonation?

He was drugged into the portal of death and taken to another dimension!
Toshi was feeling ill! But he perservered as he was humbled by the 
experience and knew that he was better than mere mortals! 

Suddenly the drug placed in my dinner took affect!  These weren't the 
kindly people I had come to know in my brief stay on the beautiful blue 
planet known  as earth, but some insideous agents of an unknown foe!  
When I awoke I'd been dropped into another even worse portal.  Even worse 
than that I was feeling unwell from all that chicken I'd eaten at the 
feast.  As I fell I realized that it was probably best that I was the one 
drugged and dropped in the portal, most of the other members of the human 
race would have long since perished.

Flying, Flying, Flying through the portal he thought of all of the leaders
of the world who had admitd that he wuz supperior to them.
Toshi laughed at the memory fo he was betterer thatn any man alive.
HE wuz than taken to the dimension where stuff hpend quite frequently.
As he hit the ground he yelled,"My butt hurts!"

Still onward I fell, as I did I began to doze...memories of my childhood, 
my father and mother...and my little dog Toto...I missed them, but I knew 
I could not return to my own world untill I'd saved humanity from its own 
selfdestructive nature.  Suddenly the endless warp through which I'd been 
plumiting gave way to hard grasslands.  Very hard.  Trust me, I fell on 
them, I know.  In surprise I cried out.

(He, he, he. I mad a funny!)

Then I realized I was in a strange new dimension.  All my friends and 
family were gone.  I might never be able to return home!  Unable to 
controll myself I giggled manicaly.

There were animals that came from nowhere that began to talk,
"IT be a human! LEt us smash him!"
Then a lion with red hair said,"No! HE is better than us! LEt us make him
our God!"
They took Toshi to the kinglky crown room where he became king!
Toshi said,"I am kingly and kingly be did in his name for sacrificail lambs
of non-existence. HOORAY!"

Suddenly I was surounded by speaking animals.  They seemed afraid of me 
at first, some voiced the oppinion that I should be destroyed.  They had 
mistaken my for a human, I was used to this, after all I had been 
secretly...well not so secretly masqueradeing as a human for years.  From 
the back a deep gentle voice called out to the others, "leave this one 
be.  He is not of our world, and my be of assistance to us against the 
dreaded Ryoko."

Ryoko, the name was familier, I realized then that I'd been torn from one 
fantasy world to another.  I hoped my inane powers would still function 
here.  These poor animals sounded like they were in desperate need.

Then a Ghost DEMON Warrior known as Ryoko came flewn into the
kingly room and said,"I will fight you to the death!"

A woman then appeared, and all the animals flead.  This I assumed was the 
dread Ryoko.  She didn't look too dangerous, but I'd long since learned 
of the dangers of underestimating your opponent.

She demanded to fight me to the death...why do they always want to fight 
to the death?

Toshi built up his superior energy to the point of being really, really
strong.
Toshi sent out his mega blast
"Suki Da Yo!"

I powered up my stunning blast attack, to be safe I gave it as much power 
as I felt was safe, then I flung it toward her.

Ryoko dodged the blast which destoryed Mt.Kiliminjaro (How do spell that?)
Ryokoiohr sent out a monster demon to kill Toshi. IT almost did, but Toshi
was much betterer than her!

Ryoko side stepped the stunning blast.  This was fortunate for both of 
us.  As the blast receeded into the distance it struck a mountain, 
shattering it!  My powers appeared to be even stronger in this new 
dimension.  This was a definite boon, for as I had stood transfixed by 
the sight of a mountain shatering like a large glass sculpture the woman 
had summoned a huge creature I can only describe as a demon.  I fought 
the monster, and it was strong, fortunately with my enhanced powers, I 
was stronger.  I finaly bested the beast.

The battlle wuz woned by Toshi. Ryoko conceded to his victory and said,
"I will bcome your sex slav from now on till eternity!"

Ryoko knew she had been defeated, she was no match for her own creature, 
let alone me.  She suredered to me saying that she was bound to serve me 
as long as I should live.

TOshi said,"He, he, he. Just as long as you bring the CABBIT!"

I told her I would accept her servitude, just so long as she brought the 
Cabbit.

Everybody laughed at Toshi.

Everyone laughed at me.  

Toshi said,"Pardon my wit!"

Embarased I asked they excuse my sence of humor...or lack there of.

This be the End For NOW

The End.

I think thats pretty acurate, though as with any translation there might 
be a few points that differ.  Any spelling mistakes are my own, as we all 
know Toshi is the superior human being and wouldn't make any.  I'm sorry 
about bad grammer and spelling english is my second language, I'm really 
from planet Unix where we all speak in C.

Anyone wishing to say, fling angry non-translation related critisism 
should respond to my E-mail address only.  Anyone wishing to make coment 
upon the work itself may feel free to berade me at my E-mail or on the 
list if you want.

Are you still reading this?  Ok, ok, you want to know why right?  I'll 
sum up:
   If you can't take the heat, don't post your fics.
   -MJT