"Be Careful ..."

	Moroboshi Kinshou looked wearily across what was left of her home,
which had, once again, been reduced to ruins by one or several of her
idiot son's "friends", and breathed the words that had been her mantra 
ever since that bloody tag game.

	"I wish I'd never given birth to him."

	She walked to the phone in the hallway, past where her idiot
husband was still sitting, reading his newspaper, oblivious to the world
around him.

	The one upside to having Lum as a permanent houseguest was that
the nations of the world, desperate to remain on good terms with her
father and his people, were generally happy to do *anything* to make her
life comfortable.  The upshot was that, early on in the insanity that her
life had become, Kinshou had been given the number of the Japanese office
of one of the best reconstruction firms in the world, and a reasonable
expense account.  It paid for the repairs to the house whenever it
happened to be destroyed.

	<If only the idiot would just do the right thing and marry the
girl!> Kinshou thought savagely as she dialed.  <Then *I'd* probably be
living in splendor, instead of this ... this -->

	"Hello," said a throaty voice through the phone.  "Unless you've
misdialled, you *know* where you've reached.  One of our ... operatives
will be with you shortly to deal with the situation."

	Kinshou blinked.  That didn't sound like the usual receptionist at
Dam--

	There was a tapping on her shoulder.  She made a face, and turned
to see who it was.

	The handsome woman who stood there had a trio of short stripes
running between her eyebrows, and was smiling at her in a ... very strange
manner.  "Hello, I'm Mara.  I'm here to grant you your wish."

	Kinshou stared.  "Excuse me?"

	"You *did* call the Demon Help Line?  Well, here I am, ready to
grant you any one wish your corrupt little heart desires.  What do you
want?  Power?  Wealth?  Hunky male admirers?  It can --"

	The words bubbled out of her mouth before she really had a chance
to think about them.  "I wish I'd never given birth to my son!"

	Mara's smile grew.  "Are you sure?"

	"Yes!" Kinshou said.  Then, "Why --"

	Mara's eyes had already begun to glow.  A strange, eerie wind
began to blow through both women's hair, even ruffling the pages of her
husband's paper.

	And then there came a word.  "GRANTED", said a voice, and then
there was laughter.

	Kinshou blinked, and found herself standing in a crosswalk.  She
looked down to see that she was very pregnant, and wearing clothes of the 
sort that she hadn't worn in nearly seventeen years.

	"But --" she said, and then heard the sound of the horn.  It had
been blaring for several minutes, but she had been too distracted to
notice.

	She turned to look in the direction the noise was coming from,
just in time to see the truck slam into her, killing her instantly.

				*   *   *

	The closed casket funeral for Kinshou Moroboshi and her unborn
child was held a few days later.

	Sixteen years later, the Oni came.  The champion of Earth failed
to defeat Lum Redet in a game of tag.   A short, brutal war was fought, and
the human race was sold into slavery throughout the galaxy.

	And Mara laughed some more.

                                 The End

	Thanks to Gary Kleppe and Scott Jamison for helpful suggestions.

	"Urusei Yatsura" was created by Rumiko Takahashi and brought to
North America by AnimEigo and Viz Communications.  "Oh My Goddess" was
created by Kosuke Fujishima and brought to North America by AnimEigo and
Dark Horse Comics.  This story, while incorporating characters from
motion pictures and magazines held under copyright by others, is copyright
1998 by Chris Davies.

	Nobody sue me, okay?

Chris Davies, Advocate for Darkness, Part-Time Champion of Light.
"WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN?" 
-- Death, in "Reaper Man", by Terry Pratchett.
http://www.ualberta.ca/~cdavies/hmpage.html