Subject: [FFML][GSOT]Chapter 5-A: conversations
From: Ronoken@aol.com
Date: 6/7/1998, 6:40 PM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com

"A little fall of rain can hardly hurt me now."

BGlanders presents:

The Gentle Sound of Thunder

Chapter 5-A: Conversations

*****

Ryoko

***

I just looked up into the sky.  An endless gray expanse from which the knives
just kept falling.  The rain fell, hit my face, mixed with my tears and just
rolled away.  

I knew that it was time.

"Ryoko?"

That's when I heard her voice from behind me.  I couldn't believe it.  It
wasn't possible, but I was hearing it.  My first thought was that it had to be
a trick of Washu's, but deep down, I knew that it wasn't.  I knew what was
speaking to me, and why it was here.

"Ryoko?"

I turned, even though I didn't want to.  The rain was heavy and it was dark
out, but through it all a pale gow seemed to shine from

Aeka.

"How..?"  I asked.  I was almost sobbing by then, the tears running down my
cheeks.  I tried to reach out to her, to touch her, but I was shaking too
badly to even stretch out my arm.  She was here.  She was alive!  No, wait.
Was she alive?  I looked closer and saw that I could see right through her.
She definitely wasn't alive.

"No!  Don't come near me..I'm..I'm..I didn't know I didn't know that you
would..oh God Aeka I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.."

That's when she walked (or was she floating?  I couldn't tell) over to my side
and sat down beside me.  I buried my head in my hands and just shook it as
hard as I could.  This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening!  I knew
that any second she was going to attack me or scream at me or something,
anything!  

"Ryoko."

I finally got up the courage to look at her.  I sniffed a couple times, tried
to wipe away the tears and looked her straight in the eye.  I kept expecting
to see hatred, anger, and vengeance.  I expected to be blamed for all of this,
just like she blamed me for so many other things.  That's when I looked deep
into her eyes and saw

Pity.

***

Sasami and Washu

***

"Come with me little one, we have to talk."

Washu led the tiny princess by the hand into her sub space lab.  Sasami was a
bit reluctant to enter, but Washu gently forced her inside.  Once there, Washu
brought up her holo-top and typed in several commands.  Suddenly the area
around Sasami and Washu started to flicker and shift and before the princess
knew what was happening they were standing in the Jurain Royal gardens.  "Wow!
We're back on Jurai!  Washu, how did you do this?"  

Washu made the holo-top vanish and turned to Sasami.  "Actually, this is just
a solid hologram representation of the Jurain gardens.  I thought it would be
a little nicer to talk in than my lab.  "Washu watched as the princess started
to wander about with a smile on her face, but then suddenly Sasami stopped and
dropped to her knees.  Washu walked over to where the princess was crouching.
"What's the matter, little one?"

Sasami reached down and plucked a purple flower from a grouping.  "This was
Aeka's favorite.."  Washu instantly recognized the Royal Teardrop that Sasami
was holding and cursed herself for forgetting to delete that from the program.
Sighing, she sat down next to the blue-haired girl.  "Sasami, I brought you in
here to talk to you.  I'm here to answer any questions you might have, but I'm
not going to push you if you don't want me to."  Sasami looked out over the
colorful garden to a pond that sat towards its edge.  She started to remember
the boat rides that Yosho had taken her and Aeka on before he left.  "I'm
okay."

Washu patted the princess on the back.  "Of course you are, little one.  Of
course you are."  Suddenly Sasami stood up, her fists clenched and tears
running down her face.  The Royal Teardrop was crushed in her tiny hand.
"It's not fair!  It's not far!  Why'd you have to do that!  Why'd you leave me
alone Aeka?  Why?  Didn't you care?  Why'd you have to do something so
stupid?"  Sasami started running for the pond.  Washu calmly stood and slowly
followed behind.  Once Sasami reached the edge of the water, she bent down and
gathered some stones from the path she was standing on.  "I hate you!  I hate
you I hate you I hate you!"  Washu waited until the little princess was out of
rocks.  Each one made a tiny splash in the digitized water, and in the back of
her mind, Washu noted how accurate her hologram program was, then scolded
herself for letting her mind wander.

"Sasami, sometimes grown-ups do things that even they don't have an
explanation for.  Sometimes someone might do or say something that they didn't
really mean or even think about.  Aeka was lost and confused and let herself
wallow in her own self-pity and guilt until she saw no other option than
death.  You're right Sasami, it isn't fair and it isn't right, but Aeka wasn't
strong enough to handle everything that had happened.  I'm sorry."

Sasami dropped to the ground again and started sobbing even more.  "But..she
wasn't alone..I mean.. We were always there and she.."

Sasami's eyes suddenly went wide with horror.  She suddenly remembered their
conversation earlier that day.  She remembered how her sister had tried to
brush the whole event aside and blame it on Ryoko.  She remembered how she had
slapped Aeka and made her leave.  "Oh no.."  Sasami started to shake her head
violently.  "No no no no no!  It was my fault!  She needed me and I turned her
away!  Oh Washu, what have I done?  Oh Aeka, oh no please no�"

Washu reached over and hugged her as hard as she could.  "No!  It was not your
fault!  Don't tell yourself that for a second!  Aeka made her own choice and
that's what we'll all have to accept.  Look at me Sasami.  Look at me!"  Washu
forced Sasami's face toward her own and stared into her pink little eyes.  "If
you go though life blaming yourself, then you'll always have a weight on your
back that you don't need nor deserve.  You were the best sister anyone could
have asked for and Aeka knew it!  And I know that she'll need you to be strong
now and in the future.  She needs you to remember her the way she was, how she
lived her life.  Can you do that for her, Sasami?"  Sasami sniffed a couple
times, nodded, then leaned into Washu and started crying all over again.
Washu rocked her back and forth and started to sing a lullaby from long ago..


***

Ryoko and Aeka

***

Ryoko just stared at the apparition before her with a look of fight and awe on
her face.  "Aeka..how..?"  Aeka leaned over and tapped Ryoko on the wrist.
Ryoko looked down and saw that her gem was glowing.  "My jewel�" Aeka nodded.
"You brought me back, Ryoko.  I can't stay long, but I thought I'd at least
come and see why you're sitting up here crying like a little baby."  Ryoko was
taken back by this.  "Hey, whadaya mean I'm crying?  I'm just.."  Ryoko
slumped her shoulders in defeat.  "I'm just crying like a little baby."  Aeka
shook her head and sighed.  "I should've known you'd do something like this.
Don't tell me you're crying because of my dying and all.  Oh you are, aren't
you!  Now this is a surprise!  This morning we were trying to kill each other
and now your crying over my death!  Oh this is funny!"

Ryoko shot Aeka a dirty look.  "Hey now!  I wasn't the one who wanted to fight
in the first place, remember?  I wasn't the one who took a dive and then
killed myself!  I wasn't the one who left my sister behind with no one to turn
to!"  Aeka stopped smiling and looked out over the lake.  Idly, she noted the
place where she had killed herself earlier on.  "Yes, you're right.  I'm sorry
Ryoko.  If I could change what had happened, I would, but I can't and there's
nothing we can do now but kick ourselves about it.  Ha!  I can't even do
that!"  Ryoko chuckled half-heartedly at the joke Aeka had made.  Her eyes
were also looking out over the lake.

"Say Aeka, do you remember new years eve?  When we got into that fight about
who should get to kiss Tenchi at midnight?"  Aeka chucked.  "Yes, I remember.
We fought right through the new year and when we were done, Sasami got a peck
on the cheek and we were covered in bruises."  Ryoko started to relax as her
thoughts drifted to happier times.  "Yeah, and then we came up here and got so
tanked we couldn't even remember each others names!"  Both were smiling now
and laughing at the memory.  It had been a fun night, the snow was covering
the pines and the moon was bright in the night sky.  The next day had hurt
like hell, but they didn't care, they were happy for one brief moment in their
otherwise chaotic lives with each other.    

"So what are you going to do now, Miss Ryoko?"  The space pirate paused and
thought about it for awhile.  "Well, I've been thinking about that.  There's
no reason for me to stay here anymore, now that you and Tenchi are gone.  I'll
probably head back to space and try to clear my mind a bit.  I need time to
sort all this out."  

"You mean your feelings for Tenchi?"

Ryoko nodded.  "Yeah, I guess.  I could go find him, which would be no
problem.  The thing is, I don't know if I want to."  Aeka's eyebrows shot up
at this.  "Oh really, and why would that be?"  

***

Sasami and Washu

***

The cherry blossoms around the pond were slowly shedding their leaves, letting
them make a slow, silent plunge into the crystal clear water below.  The sun
was glistening off of the leaves of the plants and the petals of the flowers,
but the weather was by no means hot.  Actually, it was about seventy in and
out of the shade.  The humidity was perfect and the glare off of the pond was
almost non-existent.  Washu prided herself on her finest solid hologram
creation.  

It had been about half an hour since Sasami's break down and now the two were
walking along the path by the water.  Sasami had cried for what seemed like
forever, then stopped as suddenly as she had started.  Not one word had been
spoken, but Washu and Sasami both knew what had to be said.  

"They're coming, aren't they, Mother, father and auntie Funaho."  It was a
statement rather than a question.  Washu nodded and kept pace with the slow
moving princess.  "Yes, they'll be here in the morning.  They're coming to pay
their respects and then�"

"And then they'll take me away, won't they?"  Sasami's voice was trembling,
but she composed herself and continued on.  "Yes Sasami, I suppose they will.
Your father never approved of the two of you staying on earth, and now he has
every reason to get you as far away from here as possible."  Sasami sighed and
stopped.  She didn't make eye contact with Washu, but instead looked over the
water and stared at the cherry blossoms floating on the glassy surface.  "I
know.  I don't want to leave you all, but I guess it's for the best.  I'm
really going to miss you Washu, you and Mihoshi and Ryo-Ohki and Ryoko and
Grandfather and Te�"

Washu hugged Sasami and tried to push back the tears in her won eyes.  "Well
miss you too, little one.  We'll miss you too."  Sasami looked at Washu and
saw a tear trickle down her cheek.  "Washu, who's gonna cook for everyone when
I'm gone?  And what's gonna happen to everyone?  Please tell me."  Washu
sighed and thought for a second.  "Well, as for the cooking, I think I can
manage for awhile.  Mihoshi will probably be reassigned to another star system
once the Jurain royalty leaves this sector.  As for the others, well, what
they do is completely up to them.  Don't worry, we'll be fine.  I promise."

Washu and Sasami moved on until Washu stopped in front of what looked like a
space tree.  She reached out and touched the bark, and as she did so the image
of the gardens faded and the lab once again appeared before their eyes.
Sasami turned to Washu and hugged her again.  "Thank you for that, Washu.  I
really needed someone to talk to."  Washu hugged her back and smiled.  "I know
little one, I know."  As Sasami walked out the door, Washu wiped a tear away
from her cheek.  "I guess I did too."

***

Ryoko and Aeka

***

Ryoko sighed as she tried to phrase her next sentence the right way.  "I know
now that Tenchi would have never chosen between us, Jenna-Hotaru or not.  If
he returned my love now, it would be out of grief and desperation, and that's
not what I want.  I know now that he would have never loved either one of us
the way we loved him."

Aeka paused and thought about what her rival and friend had said.  "Yes, I
guess you're right.  I always knew that he could never choose between us, I
guess I wanted to do the Jenna-Hotaru so that it would finally be over and
done with.  I was hoping that it would force him to take a side, to choose
between us and to finally get it over with.  At first I didn't care who really
won or lost, but then I realized�"

"You realized that Tenchi would defend whoever lost."  Ryoko nodded in
understanding at Aeka's logic.  It made sense, of course.  Ryoko silently
swore at herself for not thinking of it first, then swore again for thinking
that in the first place.  "I want you to know that I hadn't planned on taking
a fall, Ryoko.  It just seemed like the right thing to do at the time.  I know
that you must hate me for it.  God, what have I done?  I ruined both our
chances with him and then I went and took the cowards way out.  And on top of
it all he hates me now!"  

Ryoko shook her head and rose her voice.  "Nonsense!  Tenchi could never hate
you Aeka!  He cares about us both too much to actually hate us.  If anything
he was probably just upset at what had happened.  After all, can you blame
him?"  Aeka shook her head.  Through the rain, Ryoko swore she could see tears
on the translucent face of her one time rival.  "You don't understand.  When I
tried to stop him from leaving I looked into his eyes.  All I saw there was
hate.  Hate for me!  He knew what I had done, Ryoko! He knew that your death
was my fault!  And I know that even if he did know that you were alive, he
could never forgive me for such a crime.  We've lost him, for all time now,
and there's nothing that we can do about it!"  

Ryoko watched as Aeka slowly started to break up.  "Oh dear!  I guess I had
less time than I thought!  Ryoko, please tell Sasami that I'm sorry, that I
wish I could be with her.  Please tell the others that I love them and Ryoko�"

"Yes?"  Ryoko started to panic as Aeka was breaking up, like bits of flotsam
on the surface of a pond.  She tried to will her gems to make her stay, but it
just didn't seem to be working.  Helpless, Ryoko watched as Aeka disintegrated
before her eyes.  "Ryoko, I'm sorry.  I'm sorry for the way I treated you.  I
know now that you were the one true friend I had here on earth, and I know
that�"

Those were her last words before she vanished completely.

"Aeka?  Aeka!  No!  No no no!  Damnit Aeka, don't leave me!"  Ryoko was on her
knees now as the rain fell harder and harder.  All her screams and sobs just
seemed to be absorbed by the veil of blackness around her.  

"Aeka!"

Ryoko awoke with a start.  The rain had stopped, but the roof and her clothes
were still damp.  "Did I dream that?"  Ryoko looked around, trying to confirm
or deny what had happened.  Then she glanced down at her gem, which was giving
off a faint glow.  "Goodbye Aeka," said the space pirate as she looked out
over the lake.  

***

Yosho

***

So the entire royal family is coming tomorrow.  Well, that is to be expected.
I knew that this would happen.  Not Aeka's suicide, mind you, but what would
happen afterwards.  Father will probably use this as the final excuse to take
Sasami back to Jurai.  I don't blame him.  She needs her mother and father
now.  She needs her family.

Family.

We were a family, all of us.  We all had our strengths and weaknesses, but we
managed to live each day to the fullest.  My only regret is that I always
tried to distance myself from everyone.  I always tried to keep everyone out,
tried to hide from the others as best I could.  I hid in my shrine and then
behind a mask.  This wrinkled skin, these glasses, they're an act of the
highest hypocrisy that I know.  I hid from those that loved me, those that
would have opened up.  I know now that it was a mistake.

Looking back, I'm glad that I never married Aeka.  True, she said she loved me
often enough, but she was in love with the idea of being in love.  She wanted
the picture perfect fantasy world that she had been raised to believe in, and
that was something I couldn't give her.  I knew that my travels with the crew
of the Funaho would have come between us (especially if she had ever found out
about my two week lay over).  We were too much apart to ever have been
together.

I often thought that Tenchi would have chosen her, but the boy never had the
courage to make a choice.  I scolded him often enough for stringing them on,
but what could I really do?  After all, the boy had to grow up and make a
decision some day, so eventually I decided to back down and let him pick the
time and place.

Well, he made a decision all right.

Curse my family!  Curse their traditions!  Why does everything have to fall
apart?  Why can't it all just stay together just once?  My years here have
taught me that nothing lasts forever�but a man can still hope.

And look where hope has brought us all.

I must prepare for the family's arrival.

***

Sasami

***

I've spent so many nights up here with the others right beside me.  I could
always wake up in the middle of the night and know just from the sound of
their breathing that they were here.  My friends.

My family.

I could always wake up from my worst nightmare and go to Aeka, who would
always know when I needed a hug or a lullaby.  

Now there's no one to give me a hug, or to sing me a song.  Now there's no big
sister to turn to for help or to just say, "I love you" to.  There's no one to
sit and play games with on rainy days or to help me cook when I need it.
There's no one to share my girls magazines with and no one to tell my secrets
to.  Now I'm all alone.

I know that she's watching over me, and that soon mother and father and aunt
Misaki will be here.  I know that they'll take me back to Jurai and that
they'll be spending a lot of time with me.  I know that they'll swamp me with
attention and that mother won't be able to understand what has happened, but I
don't care anymore.  I don't care what they think or how they try to forget.

My big sister's gone, and I'll never see her again.

I can hear the rain pattering on the roof, and it's sound is making me feel
really sleepy.  I know that I have to get some rest for tomorrow, but I don't
want to fall asleep.  I want to wake up.  I want to poen my eyes and know that
Akea's right beside me and that Tenchi is down the hall and that we're all
still here and that we love each other.

Right now, I don't care if they have every present in the world waiting for
me.  I don't care what they want to give me to make me feel better.

I just want my sister back.


***

Ryoko

***

I wish I could see the stars tonight.

When I was Kagato's slave, I saw countless worlds and star systems, but I
never got the chance to just sit back and enjoy them.  I was always told to
look at a star and think about what it could give me, what I could get out of
the planets around it.  I was never given the chance to look at a star and
say, "That's pretty."

Now, after all this time, I suddenly feel the urge.  I feel a tug in my heart
that I haven't felt since the days when I was that madman's prisoner.  I need
time, time to reflect on my life and what has happened here today.  I know
that I can't do it here.  There are too many memories, too many faces

Too many ghosts.

I need the stars.  I need the clear open ocean of space to just take me away
and put my mind at ease.  I feel Ryo-Ohki nuzzle my leg and hear her "myia".
I know that she can see what I'm thinking and that she agrees with me.  I know
that she understands how I feel.  Oh Ryo-Ohki, you're my only friend now.
Don't ever leave me, you little fur ball, or else I don't know what I'll do.  

I pick her up, pet her a few times and toss her into the night sky.  In
seconds a massive crystalline space ship is silently hovering above the house.
I close my eyes and try to block out the voice in my mind that's telling me to
stay.  That little whisper of reason that knows I'm just doing what Aeka did.

I'm running away.  

I teleport aboard Ryo-Ohki and give the command to lift off.  I watch in the
view screen as earth gets smaller and smaller, as the other planets in this
system fly by.  I close my eyes and try to find comphort in the joy of flying,
of being free.  

The rain can't hurt me now.

*****

Hi folks!

First off, thanks to GenSao for proofreading this chapter.  I know that I
strayed from the POV style a bit, but I figured it was for the best if I was
gonna get all the plot holes filled in.  I took a lot of liberties with this
chapter, and I'm still deciding if I need to revamp it some more.  Of course,
that will all depend on what you happy folks think!  ^_^

Tenchi & Co belong to AiC and Pioneer

All C&C should go to BGlanders@aol.com