Here it is, my first official Spamfic! Don't take it too seriously 
folks, this was
written for fun.  



          Ryoga Defeats Ranma (About Time, Too!)

               A Spamfic by Ash.
 
     The old one arched an eyebrow. "You have learned all that I can 
teach, cricket. Go now, and defeat your enemy."

     This was surprising to Ryoga, for he was actually getting used to 
training here in faraway Tibet. At least he thought it was Tibet. 

     Blinking, he said, "Huh!? That's it?"

     The master nodded. "That's it."

     "Okay, if you say so." said Ryoga, packing his meager belongings 
and souvenirs into his backpack. When he was done, he picked up his 
umbrella and left.

     The old man waited for five minutes. Then five minutes more.  
Finally, he got and danced a dance in a manner that belied his age. "At 
last! I'm rid of that freeloader forever! Calloo Callay!"

     >Knock. Knock.<
     Turning, the old man walked over to the door and opened it.

     "Excuse me, but can you tell me where the--" 

     >WHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAM<

     "Sensei? What are you doing here in Japan? And why are you banging 
your head against the wall?"

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

     Two weeks later, Ranma was walking home from school when he heard
those time honoured words, "Ranma! Prepare to die!"

     Spinning 180 degrees on his right foot, Ranma saw his longtime 
rival Ryoga,who, curious enough, was simply standing in place. No 
posturing or battle ready stances. Just calmly standing there as if he 
didn't have anything better to do.

     Shaking his head, Ranma slid into a basic defensive stance, and 
said, "Alright. What are you planning to start off with this time? A 
barrage of punches? A flying snapkick?"

     Smiling, Ryoga closed his eyes and shook his head. "No. After weeks 
of intensive training, I have finally learned the technique that shall 
defeat you  for once and for all!"

     "Fine. I don't have all day. Let's get it over with then."

     Keeping his eyes shut, Ryoga took a deep breath and placed his 
forefingers to his temples, and chanted  "Sim, Sim, Sala Bim!"

     Ranma facefaulted.

     Taking advantage of this opening, Ryoga rushed in and stepped on 
the spot between the shoulder blades of Ranma's back.  Raising a 
triumphant fist towards the sky, he cried out "Let it be known, that on 
this day, I, Ryoga Hibiki, have finally defeated that foul fiend and 
stealer of bread, Ranma Saotome!"

     As he was uttering the last of his victory speech, Shampoo came 
without warning from out of nowhere, and attached herself onto him. 
"Ryoga take Shampoo to date, yes?"

     "Oh, no you don't Shampoo! He asked me first! Isn't that right 
sugar?" shouted Ukyo, as she glomped onto Ryoga's other side.

     Then Mousse showed up. "Die! Ryoga Hibiki! Die!"

     Screaming in primal terror, Ryoga ran off, followed by Mousse and 
the two girls. Not too long afterward, Cologne, who been running five 
minutes late all day, tried to catch up on her staff.  
     
     Akane walked up and helped Ranma to his feet.

     "Y'know, if I'd known that would happen, I would'a let him defeat 
me months ago." said Ranma as he brushed himself off.

     Stars filled Akane's eyes as she held her clutched hands up to her 
breast. "Oh Ranma, take me in your arms, you mad fiend you!"

     Ranma smiled suavely, and took her in his arms. Just as he was 
going in for the kiss, he paused and pulled down a blind. Shaking his 
head, he said, "Come on people, get a life. This ain't none of your 
business."


                    The End.

     C&C, Flames, and general comments can be sent to 
cyber_com@hotmail.com


------------------------------------------------------------
Ash.

"Good morning, doctors. I have taken the liberty of removing Windows
95 from my hard drive."
The winning entry in a 'What were HAL's first words' contest judged by
'2001: A Space Odyssey' creator Arthur C. Clarke.

"...But cats are sneaky," I added.
She tossed her head, raised a paw and studied it.
"There are certain pleasures to be had in lurking."
"For cats," I added.
"...and certain knowledges gained."
"Such as...?"
 Snuff and Graymalk from,
     A Night In The Lonesome October
------------------------------------------------------------


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