The Veils Placed Over Others' Eyes


By D.B. Sommer
Any and all C+C appreciated
You can contact me at sommer@nb.net

Needless to say, this was inspired by 'The Masks We Must Wear' by Bob
Barnes and 'Tangled Web' by Gary Kleppe, as well as the other spin-off's
that were done.

You know, I wrote "Masks" partially because I like the idea
of conspiracy theories. I have ever since I first read _The
Illuminatus Trilogy_. At the time I wrote it, I had no idea
that a side effect would be that others would then write
their own conspiracy theory stories, like this one, that I
could enjoy. What a pleasant, unexpected bonus. Life is
good.  *grin*

[THIS ONE IS HEAVY IN THE LIME, ALMOST A LEMON, BUT NOT THAT DESCRIPTIVE.]

Heh. I have a feeling you might be getting some flak about
the Nabiki/Ukyo scene. I think it was a bit too tart to be
described as lime. Not that I mind, you understand. I enjoy
a story with unappologetic citrus overtones. This was more
grapefruit than lime, though. Not the pink, sweet kind but
the white, sour ones that need some sugar to be palatible.
Ah forget it. The joke is getting a tad strained... but at
least there's no seeds this way. ^_-

I thought you supported all the various secret conspiracies
pretty well in that you didn't openly violate the canon
storyline and supported the character differences within the
context of the story. Actually, in the case of the fathers,
you didn't even have to make them OOC to make the conspiracy
work.  Well done. 

A case could be made that Kasumi is also IC in this story. I
laughed out loud at the idea of whip-mistress Kasumi, but
you know it might explain her preternatural calm. This lady
DEALS with her stress, after all. You've got to wonder about
Tofu, though. The lad seems to have a few problems handling
the situation he finds himself in.

Happousai is sweet and Cologne is, frankly, scarey. You've
shown her as a ruthless, ancient sorceress with dynasitc
ambitions who is willing to do just about anything to get
her way. Her "hobby" is hilarious, though.

I have a feeling Zen will hunt you down and hurt you for
your version of Ukyo. I found it... disturbing. It makes
sense, but it's disturbing. Disturbing is good, though. It
gets those mental juices flowing in new paths, and that's
always a bonus. I do like the way you leave Nabiki's real
motivation hanging, too. She _could_ be playing Ukyo like a
violin, you know... I mean within the context of the story.

The Kunos were just wacky and fun. Also strange enough to be
convincing in the sense that reality is always much more odd
than fiction. Myself, I'll sleep well knowing the Kuno
siblings are guarding the Earth and keeping me safe.

I have a strong personal predjudice toward honesty and
truth. Call it a near religious belief that they are much
stronger and more reliable than lies and trickery. I call it
"near religious" because I can't justify it with logic and
reason. At any rate, that is the reason for my feelings
about my two personal favorite secret relationships in this
story, which I'll put last.

Second most favorite is Akane and Mousse. They both strike
me as being rather shallow, but the way you portray their
changes of heart was quite convincing. It's interesting that
in the structure of the canon story, these two don't require
anything from each other. There aren't any demands or debts
of honor between them to complicate a potential
relationship. Mousse's about face, when he admitted he had
been lying at first about loving her, was possible because,
in a sense, it didn't matter either way. Between these two,
the stakes are actually rather low, which could be just the
thing to make the beginnings of a relationship possible. In
addition, as you showed so well, they each have something to
give that the other needs, badly. 

That leaves the obvious for last. I liked the Ranma/Shampoo
detente, as you portrayed it, the best because of its
complexity. There is a degree of honesty and trust there,
but neither of them is completely open. Ranma has to be
bothered by his emotional dependance on Shampoo, but that
doesn't lessen it. I can imagine Shampoo being rather
dismayed by his dependence, too. Something like, "Well now
I've got him, but what have I got?" A relationship between
these two is a bit like two porcupines mating... especially
the way you've loaded the dice with their "real" reasons
for acting the way they do. Bravo. There is more implied
than shown, and the future for these two is potentially even
more interesting and complex than the present. Something to
think about after reading the story.

All in all, a hell of a nice thing to find hiding amongst
the spam. I must be hungry for good writing because I fell
on it like a starving man going after a steak. Spam will
fill you up, but it's not very satisfying. This was. Thanks
for sharing.

Best,

Bob Barnes 
rbarnes@moscow.com 
Moscow, Idaho -- The heart of the Dried Pea and Lentil
Capitol of North America.

When opportunity comes, the trick is to CATCH the red hat.

alternate tagline: Always practice safe government, use kingdoms