The scene: An FBI screening room. Fox Mulder and Dana Scully enter and
place their coats over two of the many chairs lined up here.
Mulder: Skinner wants us to look at this.
Scully: It's not another fanfiction, is it?
Mulder: Afraid so, Scully. It's called "Spring-heeled Jack," by a guy
named Shearen. I figure we'll start with the prologue and first
chapter, and do the rest later.
Scully: Since when does fanfiction fall under the jurisdiction of the
FBI?
Mulder: When it's about Jack the Ripper. Buckle up, Scully.
The lights go down, and the fanfic starts.
***
What happens when the greatest Devil Hunter of Japan
takes on the greatest evil of England?
Mulder: She�s fighting the Teletubbies?
Devil Hunter Yohko:
Spring-Heeled Jack
By John Shearen
Based on Mamano Hunter Yohko
Created by Toho/Madhouse
Forward: The Writing on the Wall....
Hello. A friend of mine mentioned that he was trying to write
a story about an argument that he heard. He explained that he
caught by the hand of fate one night; walking down the streets of
Yokosuka, Japan (the city we live in), there was an argument
between two fairly drunken Japanese women on the subject of
murderers (hey, I realize that this is Japan that I'm talking
about, but unless you've ever lived in Yokosuka, you won't
understand--call it Nerima lite). That normally didn't catch his
attention, until one of them got on the subject of uncaught
murderers, such as the Zodiac Killer in Los Angeles, and of course,
Jack the Ripper (there were others that she'd mentioned, but at the
moment, he wasn't totally listening to them anymore).
With that in mind he started to write this story.
Unfortunately, he was in the middle of writing _Tales Of Shampoo_.
Since he did not get past the Prologue, he thought that I would give
it a chance. So here goes, my first so called published story.
Mulder: Featuring Clare Danes as Yokho.
Many thanks to Stephen P. Ryder's _Casebook: Jack the Ripper_ web
page for his inspiration and exhaustive research. For those
interested, it's at *http://ripper.wildnet.co.uk.*
This is written with an English accent due to the fact that the
story takes place in England. All the characters from Devil
Hunter Yohko are copyright by Toho/Madhouse. All other
characters are copyright by John Shearen and Rob Barba.
Scully: Mulder and I are copyright Ten Thirteen Productions.
Prologue: He'll Do, He'll Never Be Done To
Eight little whores, with no hope of heaven,
Gladstone may save one, then there'll be seven.
Seven little whores beggin for a shilling,
One stays in Henage Court, then there's a killing.
Six little whores, glad to be alive,
One sidles up to Jack, then there are five.
Four and whore rhyme aright,
So do three and me,
I'll set the town alight
Ere there are two.
Two little whores, shivering with fright,
Seek a cosy doorway in the middle of the night.
Jack's knife flashes, then there's but one,
And the last one's the ripest for Jack's idea of fun.
Scully: Considered as a poet, Jack is a vicious serial killer.
Mulder: For a serial killer, though, he�s quite the poet.
That was the inscription written in blood on the wall in the
Whitechapel district of the city. Slumped against that wall was
the corpse of a young Japanese woman, a tourist who'd undoubtedly
come to see the sights of London. Well, she'd seen a bit more
than she'd ever bargained for. Now, she'd never see anything
else ever again.
Bloody hell, the detective present thought. _That's the
eighth victim in the last three weeks. We have a serial killer
on our hands;
Scully: This person doesn�t miss a beat.
Mulder (imitating Michael Caine): It is my opin-yuhn... that he is
dead.
killing Japanese girls and using the quotes of
Jack the Ripper. Truly odd, that: these girls are tourists, not
ladies of the night. And for what purpose would a sick,
demented man use the name of Jack the Lad, anyway?_
Scully: Why would a serial killer pattern himself after the most famous
murderer in all of history, bar Hitler? That doesn�t strike me as much
of a puzzle.
Mulder: You know, some people believe that serial killings are
connected, driven by a single malevolent force, which has hidden itself
inside the human race and periodically emerges to strike again.
Scully: I saw the same episode of _Star Trek_ that you did, Mulder.
She took
another drag from her cigarette, then tossed the fag away.
Tonight was turning out to be one of the worst nights yet.
But, that was already expected for the Special Patrol of New
Scotland Yard.
Mulder: In the Special Patrol, every night is the worst one.
The SpecPat, as the wags had labeled them, were
the equivalent to the Special Crimes units that the Yanks had
over in the States. When first assigned to the job, she saw no
need for them; crime was nowhere near as violent or common as
it was in America.
Mulder: Soccer games and Ulster excepted, of course.
Two years since, she was convinced otherwise.
As always, she patted the gun in her jacket for comfort.
Mulder: There�s a good gun, yes. You�re a nice gun, you are.
She was continuing in her investigation of the crime scene,
when somebody called to her. "Rei? How goes the investigation?"
Reiko Nakano, loyal subject of the Crown, born in Manchester
of Japanese immigrants, looked at her partner with a look that
told him the 26-year-old woman had seen far more than she'd ever
wanted to. "Oh, fairly piss poor, Nigel. I just shan't wait
Scully: �Shan�t� doesn�t mean �can�t.�
to
see the headlines in the _Daily Mail_ tomorrow. 'NSY Fails to
Capture Jack the Ripper Again.'
Mulder: �After eight murders, all with the same _modus operandi,_
Detective Reiko Nakano of the Special Patrol announced today that the
murders have been commited by a serial killer.�
Scully: �Also, she has good evidence pointing to the possibility that
the Pope is Catholic.�
We'll be made the patsies once
more." Oh, the media had a field day with this. From the moment
the London Times had screamed _'The Return of Jack the Ripper'_,
the situation had become a feeding frenzy. Even the usually
staid BBC had gotten in to the act.
Her partner, Nigel Cummins, placed his hand on her shoulder.
"Don't worry, Rei me lassie.
Mulder (as Nigel): I�ll have those dilithium crrrystals repaired before
ye can say �haggis.�
We'll catch him yet, and not even
the finest barrister in the Kingdom shall save him." He looked
at her with his dusky brown eyes as he ran his fingers through
his strawberry blonde hair.
Looking back at him, Rei knew that was a sign that his end
came up fruitless. "No witnesses again, eh?"
"Not a one, Rei. No one would speak up in any event. They're
all afraid of retribution by Spring-Heeled Jack." He motioned to
the medics to transport the body to the morgue. "Well, let's
finish here. I wish to get back and file my report; then I have
to go home and be comforted by some of Emma's wonderful supper."
Mulder (as Nigel again): Y�know, lassie, looking at this poor girl
lying in a pool of blood with her entrails danglin� outside her body
puts me in mind of my wife�scooking.
He thought for a second, then offered, "Would you care to join
us?"
Mulder: Murder makes him hungry.
Scully: I can�t believe I�m seeing this.
Rei smiled as always when he said that. Nigel's wife's
cooking skills were legendary; no one could make a Shepherd's Pie
quite like she could. It was just as well that she and Emma were
good friends, as well. Now, if Emma would only stop attempting to
match make for Rei, things would be quite grand, indeed. "I would
be honored, guv'nor." She curtsied in her sense of humor,
Scully: What? In her what?
and
Nigel did a Japanese-style bow. They chuckled softly, then
returned to their work.
Scully: Ah, the joy of cheap ethnic humor.
It would be a long night, and if they
didn't complete what was at hand, it would only get longer.
Chapter One: A New Horror
Spring-Heeled Jack winks an eye; he'd spotted his next
target.
Mulder: Watch those verb tenses.
The young lady stepped out of the carriage and walked
three blocks to her flat that she had rented while she visited
friends. Her soft-soled sandals barely made a sound as she walked
along the cobble stone walk. She didn't notice that she was being
followed. Whenever the dark haired girl turned and looked behind
her, Jack quickly hid in a doorway.
Mulder: Jack learned his shadowing technique from Inspector Clouseau.
Umi was in such a good mood
that she wasn't paying attention to where she was going. When she
realized that she made a wrong turn, it was too late. Jack was
there and the next moment, she dropped to the ground without
uttering a sound. Jack laughed as she wiped the blade clean.
Scully: Jack is female?
The sound was a combination of the Joker, Jack Nicholson and Dr.
Frankenstein.
Scully: Jack has her own foley artist?
Mulder: The part of Jack will be played by Dr. Clayton Forrester.
Several people near by had chills running down
their spines as the sound reached them. A bobby started blowing
his whistle as he heard the wicked laugh.
Rei looked at the crime scene and read the inscription
written in the dead girl's blood.
Here lies number nine.
Fair but far from maiden.
The edge was mine.
Laughter may frighten little girls and boys.
This is but one of Jack's tricky toys.
Mulder: I take it back. Even for a serial killer, he�s a lousy poet.
From the look of things, this was not a copycat. Since
the last murder two weeks ago, Rei studied as much of Jack the
Ripper from the archives in NSY.
Scully: as much as what?
Either someone was playing Jack or he had returned from the grave.
Mulder: At least her mind is open to extreme possibilities.
Scully: This is a woman whose mind is open to the passing breeze.
All the cases were still
technically open since they never caught him but had not been
touched in the last hundred years save that of criminologists,
researchers, and Ripper enthusiasts.
Scully: Save that? Save what?
Between her and Nigel,
they were being chewed out every morning that they had the case.
Mulder: Nigel and Reiko are chewing out the cases?
_If I ever catch the sick bastard, he is going to pay dearly for
this,_ she thought as her partner sidled up to her.
Scully: Watch it, sleazy.
Mulder: Speaking of bastards.
"Well, looks like the chap did it again. I wonder how
many have to end up this way before Tokyo tells their people not
to come here?"
Mulder: In other words, "how many more Japs do I have to kill?"
Scully: It sounds like it.
he asked as he placed his right hand on her shoulder.
Scully: Bad touch.
Her reply was a shrug. "Who knows, Nigel. I just want
to go back to bed and wish this was just a terrible dream."
Scully: Yes, well, some of us don�t have that option.
Running her hand through her hair, she added, "I want to catch
the arse that is doing this." Anger ran through her body as she
tried to keep calm. "I know that NSY is one of the best, but if
we don't find the bloody bastard soon, I might have to call in a
few markers I have scattered about."
Mulder: She�s going to use her contacts in the Manchester Yakuza.
Scully: If these murders don�t stop, she�ll be forced to do some actual
work.
Changing to a lighter subject, Rei asked, "What was on your
table tonight?"
Mulder: Fillet of young Japanese girl.
"You should have given us a ring. Emma made her Shepherd's
Pie. She
did mention a young fellow you might be interested in--supposedly he
just
started working in the mailroom last month. She wanted me to ask you to
join us
on Saturday if you haven't made plans."
Scully: No. She has to investigate a string of murders.
"Darn, that is the day I have to wash my hair." Together
they laughed as the medics took the body away.
Scully: This is deeply wrong.
"I am going home
to think this out. See you anon, Nigel," Rei said as she walked
to her car.
Scully: Hello? DNA samples? Fiber analysis?
Nigel watched as his partner left. He felt closer to her
in four years than he did with his previous partner of seven. As
he drove home, he thought that if he hadn't married Emma seven
years ago, he would have liked to be with Rei.
Scully: Instead, he settles for sidling up to her and touching her.
Life plays weird games on people.
==|-------
Spring Heeled Jack watched the two inspectors from a dark
doorway down the street.
Mulder: So Nigel isn�t the murderer?
Scully: A pity. I�d have liked to see him kill and eat Rei.
He figured that prostitutes were an old
game. Now since London had attracted young foreigners, he would
change his victims. As they drove off, Jack headed back to his
flat across the Thames. _Life is good to those who think about
what he would do tomorrow,_ he thought as he walked along the
river. London was his favorite town--nothing was ever dull around
foggy, dreary old London.
Mulder: Nothing is dull in a dreary town?
The fog was the greatest asset to him,
his only friend and ally to be counted upon. Normally, he would
follow his prey for a few days and then strike on a foggy night.
Mulder: Hey! Nobody mentioned fog!
This time, he was very lucky. The girl almost had a chance to
scream before he slashed.
==|-------
Back at her flat, Rei fixed herself a pot of herbal tea and
sat down in front of her notes. She knew every word on each page,
a result of one too many damn nights on this case. Still not
satisfied, she read them again, this time adding the newer notes.
In the back of her mind, she knew who was behind these killings
but did not want to believe them.
Scully: Oh, Nigel -- how could you.
Too bad Sherlock Holmes wasn't around--she could use a bit of his help
about now.
Mulder: Superman would have been nice as well.
Pushing her notes to one side, she picked up the receiver and placed a
call.
"Operator, I would like to make an overseas call to the
States," she stated when the voice on the other end finished.
"The number is 612-555-9162.... Yes I'll hold."
"Hello," a deep voice said.
Mulder: Is this Egon Spengler?
==|-------
"I have an overseas call from London," the operator said.
"By all means."
"John, I could use some of your wizardy," Rei said.
"I heard about the spot NSY is in, but I didn't know you
were involved," John Hancock said.
Mulder: John...
Scully: ...Hancock.
Mulder: Why not? If Jack the Ripper can still be alive, why not John
Hancock?
The two of them spent two
years in the St. Paul, Minnesota Police Academy, the benefit of
an INTERPOL exchange program.
Mulder: And who wouldn�t leap at a chance to study in St. Paul,
Minnesota?
Rei eventually returned to London,
while he remained in St. Paul. During those two years, they were
more than friends. Neither of them wanted to leave the other but
didn't want to hinder their careers. So now they called whenever
they got the chance.
"I am up to m' neck. If the chief isn't on my back, it's
the newsies."
Scully (as Rei): And if it isn�t the newsies, it�s my damn partner. I
swear, I�m going to have to neuter that boy.
For the next thirty minutes, Rei passed all the
info she had along with a few wild hairs.
Mulder: Okay.
Scully: Whatever that means.
Just talking to him
brought back fond memories. "Have you settled down yet?"
"I have found a wonderful job here. There is so much that
I want to tell you but there isn't enough time in a day. All I
can say is that Liz, Tom, who's almost four and Marcy who just
turned two, are doing fine. Tell you what beautiful, let me check
a few things here and I'll call you in a couple of days."
==|-------
"Thanks John," she said as she replaced the receiver. "Damn
girl, if you talked any longer, you wouldn't be able to pay the
bill," she exclaimed aloud as she stood up. Before going to bed,
Rei set her clock for five am.
==|-------
Nigel poured himself a double brandy and sat staring at a
reproduced Rembrandt. He was so lost in space that he did not
realize that his wife sat on the arm of his chair. _How many
more will there be before he is stopped?_ Every time he strikes,
more than the victim gets hurt.
Scully: I suppose that depends on how long it takes before you and your
incompetent partner get fired.
Emma ran her slender hand through his fine strawberry blonde
hair. Facing her, he smiled as if he wanted to leave the world
behind. "What is the matter?" Emma asked. She knew that SpecPat
was not an easy job. During the hardest cases, he always drank a
double when he needed to think.
Mulder and Scully both laugh.
Mulder: This explains the incredible success he�s been having on this
case.
"There is a crazy bastard out there that is imitating one of
history's worst murderers. We don't know when he will strike next.
But, instead of ladies of the night, he's picking on Japanese
tourists. Now I have to persuade the Chief to talk to the Minister
of Justice." Setting his snifter down, he wrapped his arm around
her slender waist and pulled her into his lap.
"What kind of wicked thoughts are going through your head,
Mr. Cummins?" she asked with a lusty tone.
Mulder: Violent, bloody ones.
Kissing her on the lips, he answered, "Just what any husband
thinks about doing with his wife, Mrs. Cummins." Taking her in his
arms, he stood up and carried her to the bedroom.
==|-------
The next morning, Rei was at her desk as Nigel walked in.
>From where he stood, he could tell that his partner did not get
enough sleep. Instead of her usual business type outfits, she was
dressed in a pair of denims and a pullover. Her clothes stated
that today she was going to do a lot of legwork. Nigel was not
planning on leaving the office at all until quitting time.
Mulder: He�s planning to do a lot of asswork.
"Nakano, Cummins," a strong voice called, "In my office."
Both looked at each other and instantly regretted coming to work.
Neither of them wanted to be called into the OFFICE.
Mulder and Scully jump.
Together, they walked in and sat across from the CHIEF.
Scully: Must you shout?
>From
his outward appearance, a person could not tell his age. Being
close to fifty-five, he looked more like forty. Dressed in a
double-breasted twill brown suit with a white shirt and a multi
striped tie, he looked comfortable being behind a desk, the very
epitome of the Saville Row stylist. "Tell me the status of the
investigation?"
Scully: The investigation is in the hands of two stupid cops, sir.
"Sir, so far we have had nine Japanese tourists killed in the
last month. There have been witnesses and very little evidence to
go on, except..." Rei paused. In her heart she didn't want to say
what her mind had been telling her.
Mulder: Wait... there HAVE been witnesses?
George White sat and stared at the two across from him. He
knew that he intimidated his people and that they feared him. No
matter what he did, he could not change that.
Mulder: Everybody�s afraid of the White man.
"Except what, Miss Nakano?"
"Except that he acts like Jack the Ripper, chief," Nigel
answered.
"I already knew that, Mr. Cummins. I also know that he made
a mockery out of us back then and this fellow is trying to make one
out of us now. What I don't understand is what you are doing about
it." George said quietly.
Mulder: (as Nigel) We�re doing nothing, sir.
"Sir, I called an old friend of mine last night, and he said
he will get back with me in a few days.
Mulder: (As CHIEF) Never mind your social life. I asked about the
case.
Hopefully, he would
provide us with some insight," Rei said. "He's an officer in the
States with this kind of experience."
Mulder: 200 years worth.
"Good, that is what I wanted to hear."
Turning his attention to her partner, "What about you?"
Mulder: (as Nigel) I had shepherd�s pie last night.
Nigel blanched. "If you don't mind me saying sir, I suggest
a word to the Ministry about limiting Japanese tourists into
England until he is caught."
Scully: (as Chief) Yes, we all know your views on immigration, Nigel.
"Now that is something I didn't want to hear. Luckily, the
House of Commons has already discussed it with their Ambassador.
Even the Queen is strongly supporting that idea herself."
Scully: I have a better idea. How about putting more than two cops on
the damn case.
Mulder: Or two smarter ones, at least.
Standing
up, he walked around his desk and faced them both, "What I suggest,
is that you both take the next three days off and come back on
Friday ready to shed some light on this matter."
Mulder: He wants them to do *less* work?
Scully: I don�t think that�s possible.
They looked at
him in surprise; they'd expected three days of straight office
work, instead.
Scully: They�d probably screw that up, too.
He clarified, "I hate to have my crew all tied up
in knots that they don't think clearly." Reaching over his oak
desk, he pushed a button on the phone. "Maggie, I don't want to
see Rei and Nigel--" this was the first time he used their first
names, "--in the building until Friday."
Mulder: (as CHIEF) In fact, I don�t want to see them ever again.
They�re fired.
Facing them, he added,
"Now get your arses out of here until then." Thanking him, they
walked out of his office. Rei picked up her notes before leaving.
Nigel just walked out.
"Since we have a few days off, why not stop over," Nigel
suggested as the reached their cars.
Scully: The mating call of the adulterer.
Turning to him, Rei responded, "Thanks, but no. I am going
to my folk's cottage in Lancashire. I need a break from all of
this. I'll give you a ring when I return. Thanks for the offer
though."
"Any time luv," he stated as she climbed into her Opel.
==|-------
Rei stopped at her flat long enough to gather a few
belongings before leaving. One thing that she missed over the
years was a good country drive. The air smelled a lot cleaner than
in London. Stopping at a petrol station for fuel and food, she
called Nigel. "Nigel, I just thought of something. What if the
perpetrator isn't a male?"
Scully: MY GOD! THEY *JUST NOW* THOUGHT OF THAT!
Mulder: Not that it matters at this point of the investigation.
Nigel facefaulted. "I never thought about it that way
before. Your question leads to more questions.
Scully: Such as, why do you two still have jobs?
Mulder: Maybe CHIEF...
Scully: Don�t do that!
Mulder: Sorry. Maybe the chief is really the killer. That would
explain why there are only two cops on the case, and two very stupid
ones at that.
I might have some-
thing useful upon your return."
Scully: But don�t count on it.
After hanging up, she paid her cheque and continued the
drive. The rest of the trip was uneventful, except she had to stop
to allow a flock of sheep to cross the road. Turning off the main
road, Rei drove down a gravel lane that was surrounded with trees.
Mulder: No one will be admitted to the theater during the gripping
"sheep-crossing" scene.
Upon arriving, she sat looking at the cottage for a few
minutes. Actually, a person couldn't call it a cottage. Actually,
it was a small mansion.
Mulder: The thing grows as we watch.
Scully: I�m sure there�s a scientific explanation.
Mulder: Like what?
Scully: Bad writing.
Five master size bedrooms, six full baths,
a swimming pool, guesthouse sitting on nine acres of well-manicured
grass.
Mulder. No kitchen, though.
"Nice to see you again, m'lady." Roger stated as he opened
her door. Roger Smythe worked for Rei's family for over forty
years, a butler without peer and a virtual member of the family.
His short brown hair was streaked with gray. His greenish blue
eyes noticed that this was more than a vacation for the young lady.
Mulder: She�s wearing her "I'm not just on vacation" T-shirt.
"Thank you Roger, who else is here?" she asked.
Taking her bag, he replied, "Well there is Susan in the
kitchen, Marcus out back cleaning the snow off the walks and Lisa
organizing the den. If I am not mistaken, Susan is fixing baked
pheasant for dinner," he added as they walked inside.
Scully: Okay. I thought she was the daughter of Japanese immigrants.
How did these Japanese immigrants get a British country estate? Did
Japan win WWII?
Mulder: Check me on this, Scully. She�s twenty-six. He�s been with
the family for more than forty years. That means he started working
with them at least fourteen years before she was born.
Scully: Right.
Mulder: Assume her parents came over at twenty. That means they had
Reiko at about thirty-five years old.
Scully: Assuming, also, that they hired Roger as soon as they arrived.
Of course, her father could have arrived, established himself, then
brought
over a much younger woman to marry.
Mulder: True enough.
"Thank you Roger. If you would be so kind please put my bags
in my old room for me. I want to wonder around and relax a moment
or two," Rei said as she stretched.
"I'd be more than happy to, m'lady. Should I tell Susan to
put another plate on the table?"
"If you would. It is good to be back," she said aloud.
"It is good to have you here again," he remarked as he
carried her bags inside.
Walking around to the back, Rei remembered all the good times
she had during the summers of her youth. She used to run and play
all day in the gardens, making daisy chains and having tea parties
with her friends. Kicking the light dusting of snow with her feet.
Scully: Snow? In the summers of her youth?
Marcus Wells had his back to her as he cleaned the snow off
the patio. There were only four years difference between Marcus
and Rei, with Rei the younger.
Scully: That would make him thirty.
Gray streaks could be seen in his
shoulder length medium dark brown hair.
Scully: Good lord. Grey at thirty?
Every time he moved, his
back muscles would bulge. Overall he was a handsome man. The only
drawback was that he preferred men. Still a few feet away, Rei
asked, "How are you today Marcus?"
Marcus was startled so badly; he dropped the broom on the
deck.
Mulder: Not exactly happy to see her.
Facing her, his bright blue eyes widened and a smile crossed
his thin lips. "Fine, thank you. How are you doing?"
"I have felt better," Rei replied. "I feel like a stroll
around the grounds," Rei added as she started walking on the cobble
stone path. Leaving him to his work, she headed to the rose garden.
With each step, she felt the pressure of the last two weeks
seep from her. A light gentle breeze blew her thin raven hair
about her face as she entered the garden. In the spring and summer
red, yellow, white and several mixtures of the dainty, delicate
flowers would fill the garden with sweet scents. Sitting down on
the gray marble stone bench, Rei let the smells relax her as she
tried to forget the mess she left behind. Being lost in thought,
she did not realize that it started to snow once again.
Mulder: No one will be admitted during the gripping "sitting in the
garden" scene.
Scully: At least we know it�s winter, now.
Absentmindedly, Rei started to hum one of the opening songs
from _Ranma1/2_. It was the only anime she enjoyed from Japan, but
she wished that she could get the subtitled version-trying to
understand Americanisms could get confusing at times.
Mulder: I like _Sailor Senshi Venus 5,_ myself.
Scully: You would.
Getting up, Rei headed back to the house, noticing for the
first time, that the sun moved an hour westward. Marcus was
putting the cleaning tools away. "I guess I'll have to remove the
snow in the morning again."
"That won't be necessary Marcus," she said as she headed into
the house.
Scully: Um.. Why?
Susan was still in the kitchen fixing dinner. The last
time they met, Susan was still in high school. Five years had not
changed the young redhead.
Mulder: She�s still in high school?
Dressed in a pale blue apron, Susan looked up from the chef's
counter and smiled. "You look like you could use a tot of the
liquid," she said as she wiped her hands on the apron.
"I see you can still see through me."
"Lass, I always will. There hasn't been that much changed in
the last several years. I can still remember that time you came
here from college and you just broke up." Rei winced at the
memory. "You know where it is kept," she added as she started
slicing tomatoes for dinner.
Smiling to herself, Rei walked over to the liquor cabinet and
took out a bottle of Glenfiddich. Pouring herself a double over
ice, she replaced the bottle and walked back into the kitchen.
"Susan, I would like to talk to you about my latest case."
Scully: Did the plot just start moving again?
Susan looked up from the cutting board. The expression on
her face gave Rei a cold empty feeling in her guts. "There is no
way in the world that I want to talk about it. I have heard enough
on BBC. 'Tis bad enough that the newsies are full of the awful
crimes in the city. I shan't listen to what you know. The best
thing is to forget about it until you have to go back to London."
Susan began cutting up a cucumber and completely ignored her
friend.
Scully: I guess not.
Mulder: Where *are* her parents, anyways?
Dejectedly, Rei headed up to her room and drained her glass.
For the last several years, her room had not changed. Small
stuffed animals were placed about the room. Bright yellow curtains
hung by the windows. Matching comforter and throw pillows
decorated the double size bed. A picture of her and John sat on
the nightstand. Somewhere a thrush warbled. _If I keep myself at
the cobbles, I shan't be able to solve this case. I hope Nigel and
John can come up with something._ "Well Rei, you might as well
unpack," she said to herself out loud. As she put her things away,
she thought, _I wish my parents were still alive. I could talk
about everything and they would provide some insight or provide
some reassurances. Now, the only ones I can rely on are John and
Nigel._
Mulder: Okay, her parents are dead. So there�s no one living here but
the servants?
Scully: One would think they would let the cook go, at least.
==|-------
Nigel walked into his flat and dropped unceremoniously into
his favorite chair. Kicking off his shoes, he started cursing.
Never in his career had he been sent on vacation while working on a
case. Nothing upset him more than not being able to do his job.
Scully: Not being capable, you mean.
Every day, Nigel looked forward to going to work; to him, being on
the SpecPat was working for the Queen herself. Life in NSY was
good, better than being a bobby out on the tiles. There was never
a time that he felt uncomfortable...until now.
Scully: We all noticed how comfortable he feels around mangled corpses
of young girls.
For the first time, Nigel felt uncomfortable.
Mulder: Hello? Department of Redundancy Department?
Instead of sitting in his flat, he would rather be either on the streets
or
at his desk.
Picking up the remote, he turned on the telly. For the first
time in decades, he actually began watching daytime television-
mostly reruns of _Yes, Minister!_ or _Mr. Bean_, or in this case,
_Rumpole of the Bailey_. Within the first five minutes of the
program, he knew what was happening and what would happen next.
Mulder: Much like us. Nothing is happening, and nothing is going to
happen next.
Getting bored, Nigel switched channels. Finally getting disgusted,
he shut it off and headed out to the yard. A robin greeted him as
he stepped outside.
"Hello Robin," he began as he sat on the stoop. "Where is
your mate?" The bird chirped twice and flew off. Left alone
again, Nigel paced back and forth trying to figure out what went
wrong.
Scully: Maybe he should have been investigating the case instead of his
partner.
All of a sudden, a doorbell rang. Nigel stopped in mid
stride to listen if it was for him. Once again a doorbell rang.
Walking around to the front, he noticed a telegram truck parked in
front of his house. As he turned to his right, a young man about
twenty with his yellow hair tied into a ponytail. "Are you Nigel
Cummins?"
"Yes."
"I have a letter for you," he said as he handed over the
letter. "Please sign here," he added as he brought up the
signature board. A quick scratch of a pen Nigel signed his name
and accepted the letter.
Looking at the envelope, all that was written was Mr. Nigel
Cummins, 4435 Sudsby Lane, Eastwick. The lettering was type big
and bold. Walking back into the house, he opened it as he sat.
Mr. Cummins,
I hop dat yu ar havin a farely good day.
I was figurin dat yu might hav found me by now.
Mayhap yu dident see me as I watched yu and yur
pretty partener the day yu found dat pretty yung
Japnes girl. Donet fret non, I will make
shur yu hav mor dan yu can handel.
I best git goin. Hav to find me a nuther pretty
yung Japnes girl.
Spring Heel Jack
Mulder: Deer mistur Cumming. U r a dum shit. I kant beleev you havunt
kot me yet. I em sendeeg u dis klu beecuz u suk.
Scully: You should feel right at home with this, Mulder. We now have a
mysterious Poor Spelling Man.
Silently he cursed as he grabbed his coat and ran out of his
flat. Jumping into his car, he floored the gas pedal and spun the
tyres as he took off.
Within moments, he was inside NSY.
Mulder: Which he apparently lives next door to.
The Chief came out of his
office as Nigel came in. Before anyone could say anything, Nigel
handed over the letter. George White turned as pale as his very
name as he read.
"When did you get this?"
"About fifteen minutes ago. I was out in my yard when the
Telegram lorry pulled up," Nigel explained.
"Are you telling me that you made it all the way from your
flat to here in fifteen minutes?" George asked as he realized how
fast Nigel drove.
Mulder: How many moments are in fifteen minutes?
"Sir, I know that I probably broke almost all the traffic
rules getting here this fast, but I figured that this was of great
import," Nigel stated before turning around and headed out of the
office.
Mulder: There might be work here, so I will go away.
"Just where are you going?" George called after him.
Facing his boss, Nigel answered, "I am going to get my
partner. She asked me a question before she left and I am ready
to give her an answer. So if you will excuse me sir, I will be
leaving."
Getting up from behind his desk, George walked up to him and
replied, "Nigel, I know you two want to get this guy but give it a
few more days and let's see what rises up, ok?"
Reluctantly, Nigel agreed. _Damn him. Doesn't he realize
how badly I want this arse dead? NO I MEAN DEAD AS IN DEADER THAN
A DEAD DOORNAIL DEAD!_
Mulder: That�s pretty damn dead, all right.
Scully: Nigel doesn't handle stress well.
Nigel wanted to scream bloody murder.
Everyone that gave him a glance quickly turned their attention
elsewhere.
Hours later, Nigel arrived back at his flat. Emma was sit-
ting in front of the telly. One look at him told her that he had a
very bad day. This was the earliest he ever arrived home from
work.
Mulder: Of course, he wasn�t AT work until a few �moments� ago.
Before she could say a word, Nigel kissed her forehead and
said; "I have been placed on three days leave."
Scully: Is this scene even in the right place?
He knew the next
thing she would say; "Chief thought it best if Rei and I took a
couple of days off. She called before leaving for her family's
retreat this morning. She did agree to come over this weekend
though."
Taking his hand, Emma led him over to the sofa and gently
pushed him down. "Nigel, whatever happens, I don't want to lose
you. Please don't go off on an odd lark. You are well aware that
you can tell me anything in the world. But I have an idea: since
you have a few days, why don't we go see her? I know she could use
the company as well."
Taking her hand, Nigel pulled his wife down into his lap. "I
knew there was a reason why I married you."
Mulder: I think it was her cooking.
Looking in her eyes,
Nigel noticed that sparkle Emma had when he proposed to her. There
was not a hint of sorrow or pity, just love. Once again, he felt
like he did on his wedding day.
Mulder: Badly hung over.
Kissing her on the lips, they
started to get frisky. So much for dinner, they thought as their
clothes came off.
==|-------
Rei sat down at the table with Roger and Susan. _I am glad
to be away from all of the pressure of the city. Now I know why
my parents wanted to be here._ Rei said to herself as she started
eating. During the entire meal, they talked about her family,
friends and would be suitors. Not once was her job mentioned. For
Roger and Susan, that was a relief. They did not want to hear
anything more about the grizzly murders.
Scully: Three bears killed in drive-by shooting. Goldilocks held for
questioning. Film at eleven.
All in all, the meal was
one of the best she had in a long time. To her, cooking isn't all
that it is cracked up to be. She would rather eat out than fix a
decent meal for herself.
==|-------
Meanwhile, somewhere in Whitechapel, a grin flashed in the
darkness. The fog would come soon, and with that ethereal cold gray
would come a flash of hot red.
Scully: Oh, fun fun.
***
The lights come back up.
Scully: Well, that's a chunk of my life I won't get back. Page after
page of sheer blather. And those two aren't fit to be dogcatchers, much
less members of any "Special Patrol."
Mulder: Very long and excruciatingly dull. And the author hasn't even
introduced the main character yet.
Scully: He hasn't?
Mulder: It's a Yohko fanfic, remember?
Scully: I'd forgotten.
Mulder: Anything to add?
Scully: Yes. _THE X FILES_ is still playing in a theater near you.
See it before it's gone.
-- David