[EVA][Fanfic] Eva - Reality Bites
A quick story about the last the episode of Evangelion. Let me know what
you think. I might expand it a bit, but I wanted to get some feedback
first.
(see I can do something other than Ranma fanfics :)
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Eva - Reality Bites
Neon Genesis Evangelion characters and situations created and Copyright
by Gainax, Project Eva, ADV Films - Used without permission
Eva - Reality Bites story created, written, and Copyright 1998 by Jim
Lazar
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Spoiler warning: This story contains references to episode 26 of the
original Neon Genesis Evangelion TV series. If you have not seen that
episode, this story contains spoilers. Also, some understanding of that
episode is useful to fully enjoy this story. This story has no
connection with any of the Eva movies.
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"Unit 01, Angel at 9 o'clock."
"I've got it. Asuka, take the Angel on your right. I'll take this
new one," Shinji called out. He quickly adjusted his Eva's controls and
his Eva Unit 01 lumbered to engage the new threat.
"Who put you in command!" an angry female voice replied over the
intercom.
Shinji sighed. It was like this every time they piloted the Evas.
"Just do it, you're closer to that one!" Shinji yelled back.
"Jerk," Asuka replied. Then her Eva Unit 02 launched a volley of
high-powered bullets at her target.
"You'd be better off using hand to hand with that Angel," a calm
female voice informed Asuka.
"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it!"
Shinji was wrestling with an Angel which was twice the size of
his Eva. He tried to get his progressive knife into the Angel's eye,
but the eye kept moving around the body to avoid the knife.
"Damn it!" Shinji cursed. An explosion rocked Shinji's entry plug.
He turned his Eva's head to find the source. It was Unit 00. "Rei!"
"I am undamaged," Rei replied.
Shinji returned to trying to kill his Angel. He grinned as he
finally found the eye with his blade. The Angel exploded and sent him
flying backwards right into Eva Unit 02.
"Get off of me, Shinji!" Asuka called.
"I'm not doing this because I like you!" Shinji screamed back. He
tried to move his Eva off Eva Unit 02, but the Angel Asuka was fighting
had wrapped an elastic arm around both of them.
"Hey look! Shinji and Asuka are doing it!" Touji called out.
"Pervert! Just fight your own Angel and leave the lovebirds
alone!" Hikari scolded Touji.
"We are not! Our Eva's are just tangled up!" Asuka insisted.
"Very well, I'll take care of this,' Rei said.
Soon, Eva Unit 00 destroyed the Angel holding Units 01 and 02 in
their doggy style position. As the Angel exploded, the three Eva units
were blasted in all directions.
Touji pivoted his Eva Unit 03 and used his Eva's flexible arms to
strangle the glowing Angel in front of him. With a sickening sucking
sound, the Angel's head popped off and a bloody mess fell to the
ground. "Cool!" Touji exclaimed.
"Oh, that's just sick," Hikari said, holding back her lunch. She
then pivoted her Eva Unit 06 quickly to dodge the Angel who was rushing
at her back. With a sweep of her long progressive sword, she cut the
angel in half. She smirked.
"Nice form, Hikari," Kensuke called out, just as he used his Eva
Unit 05 to toss an Angel into a energy barrier that the ground forces
had erected nearby. The Angel exploded with a chorus of song.
"Hey! Quit hitting on my babe!" Touji snapped.
"I'm not a babe! You Neanderthals!"
Shinji had gotten his Eva Unit 01 back to it's feet and was
scanning for an Angel to attack. He spotted one advancing on the group
of Eva's from his left, he raced off towards it. "Die!" he screamed as
he grabbed a huge rifle on the run. He swung the rifle up and blasted
the Angel repeatedly. The Angel's advance was slowed by his shots, but
not stopped.
Suddenly, Eva Unit 00 was in front of Shinji. It appeared to be
grinning, but that couldn't be. Shinji was very surprised when Unit 00
thrust it's progressive knife at his Eva's head. The knife was embedded
deeply in Eva Unit 00's head and Shinji's controls went dead.
"Damn it! Why did you do that, Rei?!" Shinji shouted, but got no
response since his systems were all dead.
Finally, his entry plug opened up and he crawled out. Rei was
standing over him in her school uniform. Rei grinned and put her hand
son her hips. She said, "That's for looking at my panties this
morning!"
"That was an accident!" Shinji insisted.
"Yeah, right. Hikari filled me in on you and the Idiot Trio," Rei
said.
"Fine then. If all it cost me was losing a dumb VR game, then it
was worth it for a peek at your panties!" Shinji snapped back at Rei.
"That's the last time you're ever see them! Pervert!" Rei informed
Shinji and stormed out of the game area.
Shinji watched her leave, then was joined by Touji and Kensuke.
"Oh yeah...she has the love jones for me," Shinji said.
"She hides it well," Kensuke said, smirking.
"So, Shinji...what was it like to hump Asuka?" Touji asked.
"Huh? Oh...that was nothing."
"Tell me about it, I didn't even feel it," Asuka said, as she
walked up behind the Idiot Trio. She smiled at them and made her exit.
"What's with her today?" Shinji asked.
"Must be her time of the month," Touji offered.
"Okay you three morons! Get out of the game area and we can see
how pitifully you did," Hikari commanded, then herded them out. The
next group of Eva pilots crawled into the game entry plugs.
-E- -V- -A-
They all sat in the food court at the shopping center where the
Evangelion game center was. "That was a fun game, until Rei killed me,"
Shinji remarked.
Rei stuck her tongue out at Shinji, the took a sip of her drink.
"If only those Eva units were real. It'd be really cool to really
pilot them," Kensuke said, examining a book of schematics of the game
Evas.
"I guess, but Shinji would want his to anatomically correct,"
Asuka remarked.
"I already said that was an accident!" Shinji insisted.
"Shinji loves Asuka. Shinji loves Asuka!" Touji and Kensuke
taunted.
"Cut that out!" Shinji yelled.
-E- -V- -A-
The gang walked home from the mall. Rei was walking with Hikari in
the back. "So is Asuka really Shinji's girlfriend?" Rei asked Hikari,
softly.
Hikari replied, "Not that I know of. They just grew up together."
A small smile crossed Rei's face.
[Finish?]
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Email me at: mailto:jimlazar@earthlink.net with comments, criticisms,
or if you want to join my pre-reader list.
http://home.earthlink.net/~jimlazar/anime
Author's notes/ramblings:
This is a quick story that came to mind after seeing the final episode
of Neon Genesis Evangelion. It's based in the alternate reality that
Shinji briefly envisioned.
Revision 0.1
July 11, 1998
--
Jim Lazar
E-Mail - mailto:jimlazar@earthlink.net
Home - http://home.earthlink.net/~jimlazar
FanFiction - http://home.earthlink.net/~jimlazar/anime
"You made Akane whose daughter?!?!"
"Genma's."
"Has she hit you with her mallet yet?"
"Several times, actually."