NOW PRINTING: A little more Shampoo, Akane
a story in "The Bet" storyarc, by greggsharp

i don't own Ranma 1/2, all char trademarked by them that
 do.
--------------------
	"I'm sorry, Akane," Ranma-chan looked down at
the upset Akane, "but the male Ranma you knew no longer
exists as you know him."

	Akane's temper abruptly pulled a Ryouga and got
lost. Grabbing her shinnai, she began swinging it at the
target of her confusion and anger, for all that the 
girlish version of Ranma in front of her was essentially
a noncombatant who'd almost never strike back.

	"YOU IDIOT! You're not Ranma at all, are you!"

	Ranma dodged and ran, it was all that she could
do to remain ahead of the wildly swinging tomboy who
was doing her level best to bat Ranma's head out of the
park.

	"That's the way you're gonna be, STAY a girl
for the rest of your life, see if I care!"

	Ranma stopped at the edge of the pond, "Akane,
no, please."
----------------------
  Toltiir stopped the moment. "Is this the point you
wanted?"

  "Yes." The figure looked amused.

  "Lots you can do here." Toltiir gave a catty grin.
"I personally would be tempted to do the genie disguise,
show up when she says 'stay a girl forever' then grant
it. See if Akane is actually capable of feeling guilt,
or if she just transfers the whole blame to Ranma."

  "Or instead of stopping at the pond, Ranma could keep
running, eventually finding a life for herself far away
from Nerima. No, what I've planned for this is just a
slight change in the angle of the fall. Instead of the
second bump on the head miraculously healing the first
injury, it has the more likely effect of making it 
worse."

  "Done." The cat yawned. "A change of .0001 degree of
arc is all that's required."
-------------------------
	Akane felt the fury drain away. Ranma's head
had struck the rocks lining the pool again, this time
the pinkish tint beginning to stain the water was 
indicating that all was most definitely NOT well.

	"Oh my, Akane!" Kasumi stood there in her
nightgown, looking at Akane and then at the partially
submerged Ranma. She made a move towards Ranma and
then stopped, watching her sister.

	"Uhm, I didn't mean..." Akane put the shinnai
behind her. "It just happened! It was an accident."

	"Akane?" Her father and Mister Saotome looked
back and forth, having also been awakened by Akane's
yelling.

	Kasumi edged past her sister and fished Ranma
out of the pond. "Oh my. Someone call Doctor Tofu, his
emergency number is in the book by the phone."

	"How bad?" Genma was beside himself. He knew 
that Akane got violent, but what could the girl that
Ranma had become have done to trigger this sort of
reaction?

	"It's almost an inch long, near the base of 
the skull." Kasumi applied light pressure as best she 
could with the edge of her nightgown. "Please hurry!"

	"...but I didn't mean to."

	Genma had run inside the house. Soun Tendo 
began to blubber about how now the "houses would never
be joined."

	"The doctor says he'll be right over..." Genma
called from inside the house.

	"What is going on around here?" A tired looking
Nabiki took in the scene.

	"It looks like a gash about an inch long near
the base of the skull, there may be a fracture. Judging
from the edema, there's an excellent chance of some
internal hematoma."

	"I didn't mean to do it!" Akane felt tears
beginning to form.

	<SLAP!>

	Akane and Soun Tendo stared at Nabiki, who
would later admit that she'd hurt her hand slapping 
Akane more than Akane had been hurt by it.

	"Akane, you two have been fighting since the
day you met. Sometimes he starts it, sometimes you 
start it. A lot of times YOU start it. Now what was it
that he did that was so terrible you had to kill him?"

	"I-I-I. He said that the Ranma I knew was DEAD!"

	"So you have to prove the point by killing him
for real." Nabiki sighed. "Look, I've got a lot to do
tomorrow that I didn't get done today. Kasumi, can you
go boil some water, I'll hold the wound closed while
you take care of that."

	"Nabiki, what?"

	"Oh you really want Kasumi around when Doctor
Tofu arrives to examine Ranma? I may have caused the
boy pain and suffering but even I'm not THAT cruel."

	Kasumi didn't quite get it, suffering from the
usual Tendo Tunnel Vision, but went to boil the water
anyway. With everyone hanging around the pond, Mister
Saotome would eventually get dunked anyway.

	As it was, they used it on Ranma. Maybe if he
woke up in male form he wouldn't be quite so bad.
------------------------
	"Hello, I'm Doctor Matsudera. You're the group
here for Ranma Saotome?"

	Nabiki hated hospitals. They reminded her of
the loss of her mother all those years ago. She'd had
no control over the situation then, and she'd spent
years gaining control over her life since then. 

	Nabiki had called a few people, and for a fee
had told them of Ranma's little visit. The surprise had
been that Shampoo had never shown up.

	"Can someone tell me how this young man is
incurring so much head trauma?" The doctor noted that
the people in question all involuntarily looked at one
young woman in particular. "Well, he's got a fractured
skull, evidence of a present concussion as well as a
history of past injuries of similar nature. We'd just
like to hold him overnight for observation."

	"Will he be all right?"
-------------------
	"Airen?" Shampoo looked down at Ranma's still
form. An amazon shouldn't cry. She was strong, she was
proud, she was an amazon. So why did tears come forth
anyway? Mainly silently, though, she didn't want to
alert the nurses that she'd snuck into Ranma's room.

	Ranma twitched as he felt wetness touch his
cheek. It wasn't enough to trigger the change, but it
started his climb to conciousness. "Sh-Shampoo?"

	Ranma's whisper brought a glomp, though a light
one, as if she were afraid that he would shatter if she
gripped too hard. "Airen... Why? Why you got to stay 
with Violent Girl who no even like you? Why you not stay
with Shampoo?"

	"I sorry, Shampoo." Ranma felt his head, oh that
hurt. Bandages wrapping up his head, she must've hit him
a real good one. His eyes blinked open. Akane had 
defeated him in combat?
--------------------
	"Well, Tendo, I guess this isn't so bad, heh 
heh." Genma tried to put on a falsely cheerful face.

	"You're right, Saotome, we'll get the schools
united yet. heh heh." Soun tried to respond in kind.
Both sighed and looked down. "You don't believe that
anymore either, do you?"

	"Well, I..."

	"WO AI NI!" <GLOMP!>

	Everyone stared at Ranma, who was in the process
of glomping Akane.

	"R-ranma?" Akane went still for a moment. 
"R-Ranma, ugh, can't...breathe..."

	"Akane happy to see Ranma?" Ranma had an odd
singsong quality to his voice and didn't seem to be
noticing that Akane was struggling to free herself,
after all, NOBODY escaped the Amazon Glomp<tm>.

	"Oh my."

	"Sis, that's an interesting shade of purple
there."

	"Tendo! They do feel for each other! Oh happy
day that brings the two schools together!"

	"Saotome! Let's prepare the invitations!"

	"...help...can't...breathe..."

	"Akane hear! Ranma and Akane marry, then live
after happily!" <snuggle>

	"...you're...choking...me...help"

	"You're going to owe me for this, Akane." Nabiki
made a mistake. It was one borne of habit and of 
familiar contempt. It wasn't her first mistake, nor was
it her last. She pulled a small mallet out of her purse
and applied to Ranma's head. Ranma went down.

	Shampoo stepped out from around the corner. 
"Uhm, Ranma wake up, see Shampoo, then Ranma act like
Shampoo. Why that happen?"

	Everyone looked down at Ranma as connections 
were made. "He woke up with Kasumi, and started acting
all girly. He wakes up and sees Shampoo and begins to
act like Shampoo," Nabiki said in a concerned voice.

	"Oh my, sort of like imprinting!" Kasumi 
exclaimed. "That could be terrible."

	"Ungh." Ranma glanced up, his eyes meeting
Akane's briefly.

	"Uh-oh," said Kasumi, Nabiki, Soun, Genma, and
Shampoo in an eerie unison.

	"Huh?" Akane glanced from one to the other. So
Ranma would act like her now, she was the most well
adjusted person here, right? So why was everyone backing
away from her and Ranma.

	"Akane..." Ranma stood up, eyes glowing.

	Everyone (except Akane) took another step back.

	"Oh my."

	"...no..." Ranma began to glow a bright blue.

	"This WILL be interesting," Nabiki as she dove
around the corner.

	"Eh?" Akane looked at Ranma. She was safe, after
all. Ranma never hit girls. She could clobber him all
day and he'd never do anything to strike back.

	"BAKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Mallet appeared. Mallet
deployed. Wind up, and STRIKE!
----------------------
Nerima International Airport (ok, it was a crop dusting
 takeoff pad with a fancy name)

	"Come in Tango-niner, we have a UFO appearing on
radar, altitude 1200 feet, velocity 32kph, heading in
a North by Northeast direction, do you copy?"

	"Roger that, mission control. It's not the usual
guy or the girl though, somebody different."

	"We copy that, Tango-niner. Is she cute?"

	"Naw, a little too tomboyish for my tastes. Hey,
she's beginning her descent."

	"Nice hangtime for a newbie."
---------------------
	"Don't worry about a thing, Kasumi!" Ranma gave
Kasumi a thumb's up. "Leave everything to me!"

	"Ara..." Kasumi looked worried. Ranma was 
wearing Akane's apron. Ranma was in the kitchen acting
quite enthusiastic. This was her third attempt to get
into her kitchen and see what was going on.

	"How much of Akane do you think he's copying?"

	"Saotome, I think your son has gone a little
overboard this time."

	"Tendo, do you think that _I_ want to face the
mallet?"

	The door slammed open. Akane stalked in. "Where
is HE?!"

	Nabiki noted that little sister was damp. Little
sister also had bits of what looked like pond flora
sticking up out of her hair. "Sis, come over here a 
moment. I need to explain something to you."

	"What is it," Akane growled, she heard her
target in the kitchen and was ready for her 
confrontation.

	"Doctor Matsudera reviewed the hospital security
camera performances by Ranma. He thinks that Ranma is
essentially imprinting, some sort of buried survival
instinct, like with the neko-ken? Except it is a purely
identity crisis kind of thing. He wakes up, sees someone
and becomes that person in his mind. After all, being
Ranma usually just gets him into trouble, so the head
injuries have scrambled his noggin enough that he's not
himself."

	"Nabiki, what are you saying?"

	"Akane, he's acting like you."

	"Me? But I'm not like that!"

	Nabiki stared at her sister for a moment, then
wisely decided to let it past. "Or rather he's acting
like he perceives you to be. This is honestly how you
come across to Ranma, how he perceives you."

	"How he honestly perceives me?"

	Ranma came out of the kitchen and brightened
considerably. "Oh, Akane! There you are, you're just
in time!" 

	Ranma sounded so bright and cheerful that
Akane began to smile in response. "In time for what?"

	"DINNER!" Ranma brought out a big bowl of...
something. It was green and it was gelatinous, and it
was...pulsing? 

	Akane looked down at it, twitching slightly.
"Uhm, what is it?" Why was everyone running for cover?
Why had they left her? What was going on?

	"Your favorite! Beef sukiyaki, but it seemed
a little plain so I just spiced things up a little."

	"Is it supposed to be fizzing like that?" Akane
sniffed the contents and immediately wished she hadn't.
Her eyes crossed briefly and began to water. "Uhm."

	"ARE YOU GONNA EAT IT OR NOT?!" Ranma snarled,
a fitful blue glow snapping into place. 

	"Ranma, the spoon's turning black and curling
up." Akane tried to be reasonable, there was something
horribly intimidating about Ranma's sukiyaki. "I really
think that <glak>..."

	Ranma had moved with "Chestnut fist" speed. A
full spoonful of the sukiyaki had been placed inside
Akane's open mouth. "There! It's good, isn't it?" Ranma
nodded, sure that the watermelon and garlic had formed
the perfect counterpoint to enhance the flavor of the
jabaneros, tabasco, and jalapenos. Just to be sure, 
Ranma had added a little cinnamon and sugar, because 
Akane just loved cinnamon toast. Or was that Nabiki?

	Akane tasted the "sukiyaki". She swallowed.
She got up, nearly dislodging the bowl, quietly walked
to the restroom, and proceeded to get very, very, sick.

	"But I worked so hard on it..." Ranma sniffled.
"I spent so much time trying to make it, just for you!
Akane no baka!"

	Akane, still in mid-retch, suddenly produced
a small sign in the fashion of Genma-panda. [Help?]

	<WHAM!>
---------------
	Nabiki watched Ranma go by her, as oblivious
to his surroundings as Akane tended to be when getting
a mad going. She mentally calculated the cost of having
two Akanes in the house, and hoped that this wouldn't
actually make matters worse.

	<CLUNK!> The tiny mallet struck. Ranma went 
down. Nabiki checked around, nobody else around, now
all she had to do was drag Ranma into a closet or 
something with a mirror, he'd imprint on himself and
return to normal.

	At least, that was the plan.

	<SPLASH!>

	Nabiki dropped Ranma as soon as the water
hit. There was a certain fascinating horror as she 
saw Happosai glomp Ranma-chan's breasts. As Ranma's
eyes began to open.

	"Oh, no." Nabiki shrank back, accidently 
thumping into the door, and drawing both parties
attention to her.

	Ranma knew there had to be a way to make 
money off of this. Hmmm. Maybe he could catch Nabiki
and then sell her to Happosai? Lock her in stocks and
a blindfold then operate a "spank the ice queen" booth
so that everyone she owed money to would pay the big
bucks for a little vengeance?

	No, THIS would be perfect.
----------------------------
	"Ranma, this isn't funny!"

	"Relax, Biki-baby," Ranma chortled as he counted
a nice little wad of yen. "You remember when Shampoo was
going to kill me, and you were selling me hot water, or
any of the other times where you were putting MY life on
the line? Well, I'm turning a MUCH better profit!"

	"Raaaannmmmaaaaa! I'm slipping!" 

	"Now, now, Biki, you know it's going to cost
you. Might I say what a wonderful camcorder you have,
it is just PERFECT for this little tape. Why, I've made
so much on the pre-orders for this, that I'll be able
to get one of my very own!"

	"RANMA! I do not act like this!" Very often,
added Nabiki silently. Certainly not to this extent.

	"Biki! You're not even listening, are you? I'm
talking about PROFITS!" Ranma smirked. "Why the ecchi
market ALONE guarantees I'll make..."

<CLUNK!>

	"Nabiki, why are hanging bound, nude, and blindfolded above a large hot tub?"

	"Akane? I? A hot...tub? TUB?!!! What about all
the hissing?" 
	
	"Looks like a wildlife tape. Uhm. Nabiki, the
hot tub is filled with lemon jello and whipped cream..."

	"Akane, please get me down so I can kill Ranma,
he was telling me that he was making a Cream Lemon tape,
and I just REALLY want to give him my critique."

	"Much as I'd like to, Nabiki, he's going back
to the hospital. He's going to get better, stop doing
this imprinting stuff. THEN you can kill him."

	Nabiki was relieved to be standing again, the
blindfold off. "So that's how he honestly perceives me?"

	Akane nodded. "Some things you'd just rather
NOT know."
-------------------------
well, that's it, yeah i COULD have continued it, but
 this pretty much sets up a decent pun and a nice little
 question? What do you see as happening in this 
 alternate universe? Does anyone treat Ranma different
 once they've seen things from HIS angle? Nah, i didn't
 think so, either.

ja ne.