Three unknown characters from the depths of Erin's imagination...
One story that has yet to be MSTed...
Adds up to...
Double E MST (_still_ a crappy title, I know)
Starring...
Tim Ramsey
Tall, 6'1" black man, with low flattop, no facial hair,
preppy clothes. In late 20s. Generally happy-go-lucky.
Actually has been paying attention to the story. Likes
to sing (to others' chagrin). Master of Obscure references.
Jack McGovern
An army major. Rough but friendly, quasi-conservative
(more of a Good-Old-Boy), early 30s, blond unkempt
caucasian chain smoker. Pervert (in remarks, not
necessarily actions) Enjoys annoying Lisa.
Lisa Arnez
5'7" Latino woman with short dark brown hair and eyes.
Skilled martial artist. Somewhat feminist. Jack really
annoys her. Early 20s/late teens. More of a grammar
stickler than the others. Plays straight man.
-------------------
J: Gee.. the cheap-ass introduction is still here. Erin, you're
slacking here.
------------------------------------
Forgotten Future, Forbidden Past
Chapter Seven
[Insert std. Sailormoon disclaimers,
Takeuchi-san is kewl, etc.]
------------------------------------
J: Hey. We're back.
L: Unfortunately, we all could make it. [glares at Jack]
J: Yeah, I know you want it.
T: [peacemaker] Uh... let's get started...
Makoto Kino was angry.
Not just angry, furious.
T: Not just furious, mad.
J: Not just mad, effing pissed off.
L: Not just stupid, boring and repetitive. [hits other two] What a
lame gag.
After searching the palace for five hours, she still hadn't found
any clue as to Shinju's whereabouts. On top of that, Michiru had
refused to see her, stating that there was an "emergency" currently
in progress.
J: Yeah. She really had to go to the bathroom, and...
L: [hits him]
'Damn her. Damn them all!' Makoto's fist slammed into the wall,
leaving a small indent in the otherwise beautifully decorated
hallway. Her knuckles had turned a fiery red, but she let the arm
drop to her side, her expression emotionless.
L: Hmm.. who's got a problem with controlling anger?
T: Hey, you have your lover be stolen by some strange Pluto imitator
with Akane-syndrome and see how you like it.
"Elder Jupiter! Elder Jupiter!" the call was frantic, frightened
with a tinge of something else. Panic, was it?
L: Wouldn't 'frantic' and 'frightened' give you 'panic'?
J: Has anyone ever told you you're really anal?
L: Actually, yes. Afterwards, they didn't walk so well.
T,J: O_o;; [inch away]
"What is it?" she said it rather calmly,
L: This needs to be split into two sentences. Or you can ditch the
'it'.
unusual in her current state,
J: Hmm.. she must be in New York or New Jersey... It's definitely
unusual to be calm there.
L: Why not 'unusual for her current state'... but that's just personal
preference.
turning her head in the direction of the frenzied servant. The name
of the man was on the tip of her tongue, but after a few moments of
trying to remember it, she shrugged resignedly. Her hand reflexively
looked for the cigarettes that she kept in her pocket. Unfortunately,
the pack had been used up long ago.
J: Whoa! That *is* unfortunate. Can't go _too_ long without smokes.
T: [frowning] Are you being sarcastic?
J: [pats own pack of cigarettes in front pocket, grins]
L: Pathetic.
"I'm not sure," he wrung his hands, and gave her a pathetically
confused glance, "Elder Mars told me to find you immediately. She
says it's an emergency.."
J: She's gotta pee too?
L: [grimaces; to Jack] Don't make me hurt you. Anyway, this first
sentence should be two. '..glance. "Elder Mars...'
T: You love this stuff, don't you.
Makoto frowned slightly, but still continued her previous actions,
which consisted of staring at the servant and thinking that he looked
just like her s--
T: sexy old boyfriend, Freddie.
L: Stone Cold Steve Austin action figure.
J: skanky, slutty, skeezer-ass cousin. Triple Whammy!
L: Jack...
"Damn," she muttered, looking cross. She hadn't had a thought like
that in over 25 years...
J: [Makoto] I hate those fantasies about--
T: [threatening] If you finish that with anything not human, I will
personally gut you.
L: Calm down.. this isn't an Oscar-fic.
All: [shudder]
"E-Elder Jupiter?" He had turned a very odd shade of gray.
"P-please... I don't want the General to be angry with me."
T: You wouldn't like her when she's angry...
J: Or maybe you would, wink wink nudge nudge know what I mean?
L: [grimace]
Makoto sighed then, and nodded,
L: I don't think you need this many commas.
and the man looked like he was going to fall to his knees and give
thanks. "Look, you're fine. No one's going to hurt you."
T: [Makoto] ... Much.
L: [Makoto] No _one_ is going to hurt you. My gang of thugs, on the
other hand...
She walked purposely past him, causing him to have to run to catch
up. She inclined her eyes in his direction, frown creasing her
forehead.
"Now tell me, what is actually going on?"
- -- --- ---- ----- ------ ------- -------- --------
T: Hey! Morse code!
A large burst of energy sent another piece of the compound flying,
along with several Guard Senshi. Hotaru frowned, noticing the large
tear in her leather jacket as she dusted herself off.
J: [Hotaru] Damn, that'll be expensive to replace!
T: [Guard] What, the compound?
J: [Hotaru] No, my jacket! You wouldn't believe the price of leather
these days!
L: Ba-dum Ching!
"Elder Saturn! I lay my life before you!" A man of stature more
petite than Hotaru's threw himself at her feet, throwing his arms
outward
in a "You are my Goddess! Do with me what you will!" gesture.
J: Aaaah yeah... Lemon time... [grins]
L: Who needs a cold shower?
T: [Narrator] Hotaru, never being one to pass up a good opportunity,
took him up on his offer. They made mad passionate love for the
next hour and a half. Then she killed him and continued in her
search for Emmeline.
J: Hey... at least he died happy.
L: TIM?! You're supposed to be the good one...
T: Sorry... it had to be done.
After a few moments of silence, the man looked up to see Hotaru's
Silence Glaive inches from his forehead, in a pose he found
frighteningly familiar.
L: Wow... I want one of those...
"I-I'll just go now," he stumbled away from her, on hands and
knees, and sobbed with relief when the sigil of Saturn on her
forehead slowly died away, and she stopped looking at him.
L: I'm not sure if you need a comma here. But then, that's just me.
J: Should we all be held by your taste in English?
L: Hmm. Well, I don't like you, so I think I have quite good taste.
J: Touch�.
'A disgrace,' she thought,
J: [Hotaru] He could only go for an hour and a half... Men just don't
have the stamina of before...
L: ?!?!?!
J: Just continuing Tim's little scenario.
T: What have I done?
anger draining out of her. She shook her head, and continued further
into the compound on her quest to find, and aid, Emmeline.
Truthfully, Neo-Jupiter was doing just fine on her own. In fact,
she was doing more than fine.
T: More than fine, she was doing an incredibly kick-ass job.
L: No, please don't start this again.
Half of the attacking Senshi had already been wiped out, and the last
few brave ones that remained were faced with Emmeline's growing
irritation.
J: That time of the month again...
L: [Hits him]
"Idiots," she hissed, amber eyes smoldering. "Are you so eager for
death? Run away while you still can...."
T: Cool... Klingon-style dialogue. [Worf] Lower your shields, or die
in ignorance. Heh heh.
L: [smiles] I really like this line.
J: [mock surprise] What? You? Like something?
L: [hits him]
T: [to self] NOW who's got Akane-syndrome?
A particularly brave, and rather handsome "idiot" took a hesitant
step forward, and raised a hand in her direction.
T: [Idiot] Neo-Jupiter-sensei!
L: [Emmeline] No, idiot-kun, it's bad manners to try and shoot the
teacher, no matter how much you want to. Now, go and hold these
buckets in the hall like a good boy.
T: [Idiot; depressed] Hai, hai...
"Sailor Neo-Jupiter, please, listen to reason. Something has happened
to you... can't you see that? Doctor Gurio can help..."
T: He's the one they call Doctor Feel-good...
J: Umino Gurio... the Loooooove Doctor.
L: Bleah.
Emmeline laughed suddenly, the familiar smirk appearing on her
L: Maybe 'a familiar smirk'. Totally personal preference here.
face. "Really, dear, you shouldn't try to say anything intelligent.
You're just here to be seen.. not heard. That goes for all of you
males," She sent a mock-stern look at the rest of the men. "Of
course, you ugly ones," here she gestured at a small man with a
pronounced belly, "should be locked up in a little hole, never to be
seen again."
J: Ooh... that's cold...
L: I like this girl. I like her a lot.
J: You don't have many boyfriends, do you.
"E-excuse me?" The handsome one blinked, then maintained a firmer
grip on his gun. "I'll only give you one more warning,
Emmeline-san..."
T: [Emmeline] Are you talking to me? Are _you_ talking to _me_?
L: I didn't know they were on a first name basis.
T: Relationships these days... next thing you know they'll be in bed
together.
J: Awwwwww yeah. Lemon time....
Emmeline scowled at him. Come to think of it, she really didn't
want to kill him.
L: Then she reconsidered. 'No, I want to kill him.' So she did, with
lots of blood and guts, which she proceeded to decorate her face
with.
T,J: O_o;;
J: Were you recently dumped?
T: That or she's been reading a bit too much _Lord_of_the_Flies_...
'I dated him at one time, didn't I? Now what was his name...
Hotohori? No, that was the narcissist. Kurama? No, that was--'
J: [Emmeline] --the guy I had sex with after that Village People
reunion concert. He was a real 'macho man'...
L: [hits him]
T: This is becoming disturbing.
"Need some help?"
Emmeline half-turned, and raised an eyebrow when she saw who it
was. "Ah.. the enigmatic Hotaru Tomoe. It's been awhile, Saturn..."
J: [Emmeline] As I remember, our last meeting didn't end on the best
of notes... *slides seductively towards her* Maybe we can change
that... pick up where we left off. *bats eyes*
T: Uh... Jack, I don't think you want to go there.
J: No?
T: [notices Lisa's red-gray face] No.. you _definitely_ don't want to
go there. Besides, Emmeline would never bat her eyes.
J,L: [facefault]
It was at about this point that one of the Guard Senshi let off a
shot. This seemed to be an invitation for the others to have a go at
it, as well,
L: You don't need 'as well' set apart by commas here.
J: Gee, this sentence looks like a story I was reading last night...
L: Will you ever get your mind out of the gutter?
J: [Xelloss-esque smirk] But then, what would you have to fuss about?
and all five of the remaining guards began shooting wildly, their
bullets riccocheting off the steel-enforced doorframe, and
penetrating the side walls.
T: The mean streets of Crystal Tokyo.. It's hard living in the ghetto.
One stray bullet happened to graze Emmeline's arm, and she dove,
cursing, behind the two-way mirror she had previously blown a hole
through. Hotaru, on the other hand, calmly raised her hand, and
whispered, "Silent Wall."
T: [confused] So you can't cast through it?
J: Too much Final Fantasy, anyone?
L: [grumbling] I wish I could cast 'Silence' on you.
Voice: Granted.
J: ???
T: !!!
J: ...
L: Yes! Thank you!
Immediately, intertwining strings of violet tinged energy began
formulating into an invisible shield. When the shield was fully in
place, Hotaru glaced at Emmeline and asked, "Once you're finished
cowering, would you mind telling me what you'd like to do with these
people? It seemed you were having a detailed conversation with one of
them before I came in."
J: ...
T: ...
J: ...
J: ...!
J: [sign] < This sucks! >
T: [sign] < I feel like I'm in an RPG. >
Emmeline scowled once again, this time directing it at Hotaru, and
stared into the other woman's violet eyes, looking for the hint of
sarcasm. "I wasn't cowering," she sniffed, finally, "And that guy was
my old sempai...
J: ...
J: [sign] < ..damn voice.. She was dating her sensei? Is that legal?
L: That's 'sempai', not 'sensei', idiot! And no, it's not legal.
T: [sign] < That's 'Upperclassman' for those non-Japanese readers. >
My.. wha?" She screwed her eyes shut, clutching her head. 'He... was
right...'
"Emmeline no baka."
T: ... ... ... BWAH-HAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
J: Hotaru is Ruri-chan. I can dig that.
L: [sad] No more silence?
J: You don't say anything by yourself. Sorta defeats the purpose of
a MST.
T: BWAH-HAHAHAHAHAH!!!
She looked up at Hotaru's calm face, mouth agape. "Did you... what
did you just say?"
J: "Emmeline no baka." Weren't you paying attention?
T: BWAH-HAHAHAHAHAH!!!
J: How did I know that would happen?
Hotaru sighed. "Can we save this for after we get out of here?
Now, I think everyone would appreciate it if you would do something
about them..." She gestured to the Guard Senshi, who were still
firing their guns aimlessly.
L: Mindless drone guards. Always good for aimless shooting.
"Before one of them remembers any other attack methods."
Emmeline staggered to her feet, ignoring the blood that had soaked
the side of her fuku, and glared at the men. They suddenly stopped
firing, and each fell back a few paces, looking nervous.
J: I'm telling you. Glares that scare people with guns? This chick
has some major PMS. Men can tell.
L: [makes face]
J: What.. hit a little too close to home?
L: I'll give you a hit close to home... [starts whaling on him]
"Neo-Jupiter... Dark Rain... Annihilation!"
L: 'Purple... Rain... Annihilation!'
J: 'Mortal...Kombat... Annihilation!'
T: It's the Rain Flush! From Mega Man 4! Toad Man stage... . . ...
It was almost as if a black cloud had formed over the men's heads,
L: [Narrator] because one had.
because suddenly rain fell from the center of the room in sheets,
punctuated by a crack of lightning. Several of the men were hit by
the white-hot bolts of light, and stumbled, screaming from the room,
their guns, and prey forgotten.
L: You don't need a comma after 'their guns'.
T: Isn't this a 'Summon' in Final Fantasy VII?
J: That's scary.. that'd you'd know that, and that you said the name
vee-ai-ai.
The handsome one still remained standing until the very end,
T: Some people just don't know when to quit.
however, and even tried a few careful steps towards Neo-Jupiter.
Unfortunately, the raging weather in the room wouldn't allow him to
defy its will, and finally a piece of hail struck him in the head,
and he lay on the ground, unconscious.
T: Isn't that what happened to Shinju?
L: This is an awfully long sentence.
J: Going for the tactful approach?
When everything had returned to normal, Hotaru banished the Silent
Wall, and gave Emmeline an appraising glance. "Interesting. I had no
idea you new," she didn't say the word "new" like it meant much,
L: Breaking the sentence like this sounds a little strange.
"Senshi had that kind of power."
T: She's been eating her Wheaties.
L: [Spice Girl] Girl Power!
J: The power of pisstivity... never underestimate it.
"Well, I... got it from my mother." Emmeline smiled brilliantly,
then prompty fainted.
- -- --- ---- ----- ------ ------- -------- --------
L: 'Prompty'?
J: Going for the bitchy approach?
T: More morse code... I think it says... A AA AAA AAAA AAAAA...
J: [hits him]
T: [rubbing head] Ow... hey.. Who is Emmeline's mom anyway?
The meeting was held in Rei's quarters. Other than the two
Neo-Senshi, Venus and Mars, Elder Neptune and Elder Jupiter, it was
mainly attended by people Rei had never met before. So she was
thoroughly peeved when one of them tried to usurp her command.
L: Not just peeved... thoroughly peeved.
T: You have someone come to your room, eat your food, and then try to
boss you around and see how you like it.
"Miss Hokuto," she said coldly, purposely not addressing the woman
by her proper title, "I am, and will always be, in command here...
and unless Serenity herself comes down here and tells me otherwise, I
would suggest that you do not question my authority again."
L: [grin] This story is filled with so many good female role models!
J: The scary thing is, she's completely serious.
Hokuto looked sullen, but nodded slowly, averting her eyes from
Rei's.
'I must think of a proper punishment for that one,' Rei thought,
as she sent a small, twisted smile in the other woman's direction.
J: This chick is evil...
T: [singing] She's a superbitch! Superbitch! She's superbitchy-- yow!
L: Didn't we tell you about singing?
"Rei," Makoto said impatiently, "What the hell is going on?"
Elder Mars frowned, and cast a disapproving look in Makoto's
direction. "I would appreciate you addressing me with my proper
title," she said stiffly, then continued, "But really, Jupiter, if I
pulled you away from your gardener, I am truly sorry."
J: Bwah! Sorry, Mako-chan, but you've been cracked on.
T: Pretty slick, too. And the response?
Makoto balled her hands into fists, but remained silent.
J: We're left hanging.
T: She'll beat Rei up later. Makoto lets her fists do the talking.
"Now, in response to your so eloquently put question, it seems we
have a rogue Senshi on her hands. Minako," she stopped, and the hint
of some emotion appeared in her eyes, "Minako is dead.
T: But... but... Mina-chan! *SOB*
J: [comforts Tim] There there, I feel your pain. She was a hottie,
but everyone kicks it sometime.
L: ... You need an endquote.
T, J: [facefault]
L: She died last episode. Weren't you paying attention?
T: ... No.
Makoto froze, disbelief written clearly across her face. Michiru
gave a small frown, still looking intently at Rei, while the two Neo-
Senshi clung to each other, their eyes red-rimmed, with the hint of
shame due to the comrade who had disgraced them.
"What? Minako... How is this possible?" Makoto looked pale, then
anger left its mark on her with thr blush that rose to her cheeks.
L: 'the blush'
"Who did this?"
J: [Rei] Artemis. He hadn't been fed in years, and it was payback
time.
T: That's not funny, man.
"Elder Venus was found in a sub-basement by Doctor Gurio Umino.
Umino-kun then logged it in with our AI," she continued
L: For someone concerned with calling people by their titles, Rei's
awfully liberal with the 'kun's here.
J: But Umino's a schmuck. So it's okay.
conversationally,"Apparently, she was found with a knife in her
L: Spacing. Commas. Periods.
J: The minimalist approach to editing?
chest, and the Senshi known Neo-Moon holding it."
T: If now she gets demoted, you realize that makes her 'the Senshi
formerly known as Neo-Moon'. She can become a famous singer and
replace her name with a symbol.
L: Should I hit you now or later?
"Neo-Moon?" Michiru finally spoke, a soft whisper that gave no
clue as to what she was thinking. "Daburu Mizuno, Ami Mizuno's
daughter."
J: Got a great talent for stating the obvious, no?
"Yes," Rei agreed, nodding slightly. Anger suddenly flared to life
in her eyes. "She is a disgrace to us all. She was my pupil, and I
will be more than happy to kill her myself," she said vehemently.
T: Yipes! Time for the Prozac...
"No. I don't understand." Makoto eyed Rei, distrustfully. "Why
wouldn't Umino have tried to save Minako, if he saw her being killed?
J: Like I said, he's a schmuck.
And Minako and Daburu," Makoto frowned, "they were friends."
J: Special friends. _Real_ special friends, if you know what I mean.
[Spies irate look from Lisa] I know, I know... [hits self]
"If you want to see Minako's body," Rei said curtly, "go to the
morgue. I'm going after the girl. Who is coming with me?" She turned
to the silent Neo-Senshi. "You?" She glanced over at Michiru, Hokuto,
and the others. "You? Or will I avenge Minako Aino on my own?"
L: And the lynch mob is formed...
T: We'll have ourselves a hangin'!
J: Pitchfork, anyone?
"We'll come with you," Neo-Mars spoke up suddenly, sounding choked
with emotion. "We must bring Daburu to justice." Neo-Venus nodded
grimly in agreement.
"I will come with you as well," Michiru said softly. "As will Lady
Hokuto, and the others. We will not let the girl go unpunished."
J: Who _is_ this Hokuto chick anyway?
T: Isn't she the girl in Street Fighter EX Plus Alpha?
"Very good," Elder Mars smiled, truly a mere baring of the teeth.
L: Why 'mere'?
"I will meet you outside of the palace. I know the girl has already
began toattempt her escape.."
T: 'already begun'. 'to attempt' is two words.
L: Ah... my influence is rubbing off. [smiles]
- -- --- ---- ----- ------ ------- -------- --------
Daburu had been dreaming. It wasn't a particularly pleasant
dream, just one that seemed to whisper at her from all sides. The
smells, sights, and word hauntingly familiar....
J: Which word?
"Daburu, you mustn't give up hope. We need you..."
T: [Leia] Obi Wan Mizuno, we need you. You're our only hope.
There. That voice was unknown.. as was the body that went with it.
She squinted, trying, in vain, to see more than the blurry outline of
a dark-skinned woman with green hair...
T: [Luke] Hey, where's the picture? I want to see the girl again!
L: Calm down, bucko.
"You didn't do this to Minako...."
The words, however, to Daburu's ears, sounded more like "You
killed Minako.."
It was around this time she woke up.
- -- --- ---- ----- ------ ------- -------- --------
"A replica?" Shinju said incredulously, echoing Iroiro's earlier
words.
J: Clones!
T: Copy men!
L: Speaking of echoing earlier words...
She nodded. "Yeah. Her double. But, anyway, I've been told that
her double doesn't look much like her..."
"I've heard the same."
Shinju and Iroiro spun around at the same time, Shinju finally
ending up with an expression of pain on his face from his wound,
while Iroiro's mouth slowly spread into a brilliant smile.
L: Why 'finally ending up'?
The owner of the brusque, vaguely feminine voice, was a woman who
matched it perfectly. Short sandy blond hair blew across her face,
and she stared at them with an expression somewhere between a smirk
and a frown.
"Wow! The legendary Haruka Tenou!" Iroiro said eagerly, looking
delighted. "I was wondering when you'd show up. Anyway, what do you
know about the double?"
T: Stop. I thought Haruka was dead. Or at least had abandoned
Crystal Tokyo.
J: All right.. roll an intelligence check to see if you remember.
T: [rolls 20-sided die] Damn.. failed it.
L: Has the author been playing a bit too much D&D?
Haruka turned away, but not before an expression of deep sorrow
broke through the hard mask. She raised her right hand, limply, and
J: It fell off.
T,L: [annoyed looks]
J: Look, it's late. Cut me some slack.
it was clasped by someone standing in the shadows.
The man stepped out, his face mirroring Haruka's, the long black
hair that was tied back into a ponytail almost trailing along the
ground.
T: So.. this guy looks like Haruka?
L: My everlasting complaint... break this into two sentences.
J: Guess they don't have barbers where this guy comes from.
"We believe... the double to be me."
T: [Narrator] "Oh," Iroiro said. She and Shinju proceeded to beat the
crap out of the long-haired man. Then they skipped off into the
sunset and lived happily ever after, except for the fact that
Shinju soon died from loss of blood. The End.
J: Geez, Tim... your stories are beginning to sound like Lisa's.
L: [threatening] What's that supposed to mean?
J: [innocent] Nothing, Lisa-chan. However, it seems we've reached the
end of another chapter. And it's time for all good fanfic otaku to
get to bed.
T: But, there's notes to respond to.
Notes:
I'm definitely a Haruka/Michiru relationship fan... but the reasons
behind the new Haruka/mysterious-guy (anyone care to make a guess as
to who the guy is? ;P)
T: Hm.. Vincent Valentine from FFVII.
L: X-Pac from Degeneration X.
J: Shaft. In a wig.
T: ... I think you're right... sleep would be good.
Oh, yes, and the Rei-explains-why-she's-a-bitch segment is
forthcoming..;)
L: There's no need for explanation... It's because it's easy, and FUN!
T: She does do it very well.
J: Seems Emmeline takes lessons.
anyway.. i'm going to bed now before i pass out.. -_-;;
J: That works for me. Ja! [exits]
T: Oyasuminasai!
L: G'night.
=================================================
So. We're back. heh heheheheheh.
Oh. Ice, if you want anymore of FFFP mirrored on my site, you'll have
to send me final drafts of Chaps 4+.
And yeah, chapter two of Kichi! is coming. Hopefully by the end of this
week. (Gomen, I've been fan-arting all weekend)
Oh. And. If anyone has Sailormoon ideas that they wouldn't mind being
turned into multiauthor story, please please please reply to me
(privately, of course).
Thanks!
Until next time...
Erin
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�I find victory is always sweeter when you cheat.
-- Voltron
���Visit the Land of Double E���
www.unc.edu/~ellis
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