Note the first: This fanfic contains dark, sick humour.  So if you read 
it and then flame me about "Blade, you're sick!", I will gleefully 
inform you that you were warned.  

Note the second: Yes, this is a Yuu Yuu Hakusho fanfic.  No Ranma to be 
seen.  No Tarou, either.  Amazing, what?

Note the third: Blade has finally gone off the deep end.  Be afraid.  Be 
very afraid.  <MML>


                           C&A Productions Presents

A Decidedly Non-Serious Work of Yuu Yuu Hakusho Fanfiction


                              Ani-chan in Futureland


                                     By Chris McNeil



(Scene: a forest.  A rather nice, pleasant-looking forest, the type of 
forest overflowing with picturesque green glades and cheerfully babbling 
brooks, far away from the noisy, overcrowded confines of cities.  A 
place of peace, where any person might go for a picnic or hike, or even 
just to relax, if it weren't for two minor, bothersome details.  First, 
the forest rested in the Demon World, which was not noted as a popular 
tourist spot for normal people looking for peace and quiet.  Second, 
even were one to come along, the peace was currently being shattered by 
peal upon peal of megalomaniacal laughter.  Having nothing better to do, 
we zoom in on the source of the incessant noise and see a...man.  Of 
sorts.  The man is slim yet muscular, and clothed in plain black pants 
and loafers, both of which have seen decidedly better days.  His glossy 
black hair is long and stringy, but a little mussed from some recent 
exertion.  Despite his rather ragged looks, the man somehow 
seems...dangerous, so that any looking upon him would feel distinctly 
uneasy.  Of course, they would probably feel a lot more uneasy if it 
weren't for the fact that the man stands approximately two feet tall.)

Man: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAaaugherracack!
(The man-Toguro Ani, for those who haven't figured it out yet-switches 
from uproarious laughter to an outburst of furious coughing, which 
continues for several moments.  Finally, with an irritated look, the 
man...melts.  Or at least that is what
he appears to do, as the structure of his body seems to become liquid, 
allowing him to ooze into the ground.  A moment later he emerges a few 
feet away, swiftly resuming his former shape.  Clearing his throat a 
couple of times, the tiny shape-shifter shakes a fist at the sky in 
rage.)

Ani: Damnable <cough> plant is still in my digestive system.  (he 
giggles)  Well, that'll be fixed soon enough.  And then Kurama, you 
pitiful, worthless excuse for a demon, I'll take my REVENGE!  (he 
cackles megalomaniacally for a few minutes; then finally regains his 
breath and continues)  You thought you could keep me there forever, but 
you forgot that I'm immortal and that miserable plant was NOT!  
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...look at me when I'm speaking 
to you, worm!
(Holding up one hand, Toguro Ani smirks as it reforms into a perfect 
likeness of Kurama, which obligingly cowers before the wrath of the 
pint-sized demon.)

Ani: Yes, cower, you snivelling fool!  Be afraid, because I'm going to 
kill you!  You, and every one of your friends!  (his other hand forms 
into a buff-looking man with a crew cut and stylish sunglasses) And I'll 
kill you too, you worthless, traitorous, pathetic excuse for a brother!  
(he pauses for a moment, frowning)  No, wait, he's already dead, isn't 
he...oh well, I'll kill you anyway!
(The miniature versions of Kurama and the buff guy-Toguro Ototo-begin 
beating each other up, which is abruptly ended as a miniature {but not 
by much} Toguro Ani grows out of Toguro Ani's chest and extends a bunch 
of spikes, skewering both the combatants.  Both Ani's then cackle in 
unison.)

Ani: (after a moment) But there's no time for this.  (the various 
"people" reform back into their appropriate body parts) After all, all 
play and no work means less people dying horribly!  (he giggles 
insanely)


                                           ********

(Scene: the interior of a hospital, this one apparently in the human 
world.  Toguro Ani walks down the hall.  He has, in the interim, 
apparently managed to repair his clothing, and now sports a spiffy 
night-blue trenchcoat and slacks.  He is, somewhat unsurprisingly, 
giggling.  In fact, one receives the impression that it is entirely 
possible he hasn't stopped giggling since we last saw him in the demon 
world.)

Ani: Soon...heh heh heh...very, very soon...hee hee...
(As he walks, a young nurse comes up and looks at him with concern.)

Nurse: Sir...umm...are you looking for someone?

Ani: (glances at her) You're not really much...but I suppose I should 
always warmup before I play.  
(He giggles again, prompting her to blink, then languorously draws a 
hand from the trenchcoat pocket.  Instantly his slender fingers extend, 
flatten and slash out, neatly slicing the nurse into about a dozen 
pieces.  As she hits the ground, a little blood splashes onto Ani's 
sleeve.  He looks at it with a frown, his giggle abruptly cut off.)

Ani: How sloppy.  I suppose I've gotten a little rusty over the 
last...hmm... (he turns to the head of the nurse) What year is it, 
anyway?  (unsurprisingly, the nurse does not reply; Ani sniffs) How 
rude.  (his fingers extend once more, but this time they just grab the 
nurse's head by the hair and toss it out a nearby window; various 
screams come from below) Oh well, I suppose I'll have to ask my dear 
friend Kuwabara...I'll have to remember to do so before I cut out his 
tongue! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  Sick and weak, 
you will be helpless!  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  (he abruptly calms 
down, though still giggling) I do so love it when they're helpless...
(As he cackles to himself, he glances up at the doors, and smiles 
evilly.  Just as he walks up to it, two doctors open the door and walk 
out, shaking their heads.  One of them looks down at the tiny demon.)

Doctor1: Are you here to see Mr. Kazuma, then?

Ani: (giggles) Yes, you could say that...he -is- here, isn't he?

Doctor2: Yes, he is...but I'm afraid it's too late...

Ani: (blinks) Too...late... (suddenly, his neck stretches, bringing his 
still-tiny head up to eye level with the doctor) WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY TOO 
LATE, HUMAN WORM!?
(The object of his yell is frozen to the spot by shock and fear; not so 
the other doctor, who screams in terror and begins running down the 
hall.  Without looking, Toguro Ani pulls his hand out and points at the 
fleeing human; the index finger extends and rather neatly punctures the 
back of the doctor's skull, and then continues on to stick through his 
forehead like a grotesque unicorn's horn, before he retracts it and lets 
the body flop helplessly to the ground.  The remaining doctor swallows.  
Hard.)

Ani: (deadly quiet) What do you mean by "too late"?  Tell me the truth, 
and I'll let you live...

Doctor2: Umm...yes...well, that is...Mr. Kazuma...umm...just now passed 
away...a stroke. (Toguro Ani frowns; the doctor swallows again and 
hurriedly continues) Tragic, but it couldn't be helped...he WAS one 
hundred and twenty-three, after all and sometimes people, well...they 
just die...

Ani: (hisses) I don't believe you.

Doctor2: Ahh!  That is, umm...well, come inside and I'll show you!
(The doctor hurriedly rushes inside the room; Ani follows and sees a 
person lying on the bed within.  He seems to be in very good shape, but 
is also very old...his face is a mass of wrinkles, and only a few wisps 
of stark-white hair still cling to his head.  His eyes are closed, and a 
slightly goofy grin is on his face.  He is also, unsurprisingly, not 
breathing.)

Doctor2: So, you see...I was telling the truth.  So, if you'll excuse 
me, I'll...ah...be going now... (Toguro Ani looks at him, smiling 
evilly) Uh...that is...but you said...
(Ani's hand lashes out, the fingers flattening into blades and hissing 
downwards, slicing through the doctor.  There is a moment of silence, 
then the doctor falls to both sides, sliced like a loaf of bread.)

Ani: I said I'd let you live...I never said for how long.  <giggles; 
then frowns>  Besides, you lied to me.  (he sneers at Kuwabara's body) 
He obviously sensed my coming and died of fright.  
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Well, then, the first stage of my 
revenge is over.  And as long as I'm here...hee hee hee...there is 
another whom I will pay a visit to...

                                               ********

(Scene: a dojo, some time later.  The lights within are dim, but after a 
moment we make out a hunched over figure kneeling in the middle of the 
room.  He appears to be mumbling something.)

Figure: <grumblemumbledamnfloorsaresocoldinthemorningsgrumble>
(Suddenly, the doorbell rings, and the figure stands up, slowly, with 
some more muttering.  He is aged and stooped, clutching a gnarled cane 
to help him walk.  As he slowly shuffles towards the door, it suddenly 
crashes inward, revealing the sinister-if short-silhouette of Toguro Ani 
{you were expecting maybe Hiei?}, who promptly cackles 
megalomaniacally.)

Ani: (after pausing for breath) We meet again, Urameshi Yuusuke!  Pray 
to whatever gods you believe in, for your wretched existance ends today!

Yuusuke: (cocking his head)  Ehh?  Can you speak up there, sonny?

Ani(sneers): How pathetic, you humans, to fade away to nothing like 
this.  The slow wasting will no doubt have prepared you for the hideous 
torments you shall soon suffer.  <giggles>  Now, prepare to die 
horribly, Urameshi!
(The diminutive shape-shifter leaps at Yuusuke, his hands reforming into 
wicked-looking blades.  Yuusuke blinks, then, with surprising swiftness, 
raises his cane to ward off the assault.  Ani cackles and swings 
viciously as the cane arcs towards him...and explodes, organs both 
external and internal raining all over the room in a rather disgusting 
fashion.  Yuusuke looks around with a faintly peeved expression.)

Yuusuke: I suppose I'll have to clean all this up, too...lazy, 
good-for-nothing kids...
(Meanwhile, Ani's head, having bounced off a wall, rolls across the 
floor, gently bumping into what appears to be his pancreas and coming to 
a halt by Yuusuke's foot.  It looks -extremely- peeved.)

Ani: URAMESHI!  If I could feel pain, that would have HURT, you know!

Yuusuke: Eh? (looks down) Oh, it's you again.  You seem familiar for 
some reason...oh yeah!  You're that Saburou brother, aren't you?

Ani: (eyes bulging out in fury...literally)  That's TOGURO, you 
worthless human scum!

Yuusuke: (nods) Right, right...so...uh...long time no see.  Been so long 
since I got visitors...

Ani: I'm not a visitor!  I'm here to destroy you!

Yuusuke: Nah, don't think you want to do that...maybe wait till my 
grandkids come home if you want to train...

Ani: I don't -want- to train, you senile old fool!  I want to kill you!

Yuusuke: Oh.  (pauses) Shouldn't you be after Kuwabara, then?  I heard 
he was at the hospital again, and I think he still trains...still a kid, 
after all these years...

Ani: (cackles megalomaniacally, then realises it looks weird coming from 
a disembodied head and turns it into a snicker)  It's too late!  I have 
already destroyed the wretched insect!  The mere sight of me was...

Yuusuke: Oh, he's kicked the bucket, huh? Eh, I knew it had to happen.

Ani(sneers): Well, of course.  Did you truly think you escape my 
vengeance fore...

Yuusuke: I kept telling him, "Kuwabara, you old twit, it's getting to be 
too much for you, you're not as young as you used to be," but he 
wouldn't listen.  Faking those strokes, every month, just so he could 
see all the cute nurses...too much for his heart, it was...I'll bet he 
died with that stupid grin on his face...never did know when to come in 
from the rain...

Ani: SHUT UP!  It was me!  I killed him!

Yuusuke: (looks at him for a long moment)  Nah, I don't think so.

Ani: And why NOT!?

Yuusuke: Ah, he wasn't that great, of course, but still, kid...I mean, 
you're okay, Saburou, but you got a ways to go before...
(Ani's eyes bulge out again, a vein throbbing in his forehead; his mouth 
moves a few times, but no sound comes out.  In the meantime, his 
half-reformed body staggers to its feet and walks over, picking up a 
severed arm and sticking it back on.)

Ani: You...you...you...how DARE you!  I may be a little...a VERY 
little...bit rusty, but I'll be back in shape in no time, and then 
you'll be sorry!  I'll slaughter you in front of your children!  No, 
I'll slaughter them in front of you!  All of them at once!  (as he's 
ranting, his now-reconstructed body picks up the head)  I'll crush you 
so utterly people will forget you ever existed!  I'll rip out your heart 
and force you to eat it!  I'll...I'll...just you wait!
(The demon, looking about to explode, replaces his head, turns, and 
stomps towards the door.  Just before he walks out, he turns back, still 
glaring.)

Ani(snarls): And I was killing people when you were still in a crib, so 
don't you ever call me "sonny", you little mortal rodent!

Yuusuke: (agreeably) Alright.  Hey, if you want to train, the kids are 
normally over every second Wednesday...I'll tell them to go easy...
(Ani stalks out.)

                                              ********

(Scene: a pleasant, pastoral forest, not unlike the one in the first 
scene, save that this one is not currently being disturbed by the 
megalomaniacal laughter of any psychotic pint-sized demons.  Instead, it 
sports a certain red-haired, highly bishonen demon who is walking along 
a well-trodden path, leafing idly through what appears to be a 
doujinshi.  As he looks at something, he draws back slightly in 
surprise, allowing us to see the cover of the doujinshi; entitled "The 
Dragon's Roses".)

Kurama: This is terribly unrealistic, really...I mean, well, for one, 
I'm MUCH bigger than that...  (he turns another page, and raising an 
eyebrow)  Banana?  What is he planning to do with that?  I really can't 
see what Koenma sees in these things... (flips another page; blinks)  
Huh?  Hmm...we both get slashed apart by a short guy.  Well, that's a 
new ending...doesn't make much sense, though.  (squints)  He looks a 
little familiar...
(Kurama looks at the doujinshi for another moment, then shrugs and 
begins to close it.  Suddenly, his hand meets resistance, and he blinks 
and looks down, to see a rather familiar-to us, at least-face sticking 
out of the pages of the doujinshi.)

Ani: How DARE you pretend to not recognize me!

Kurama: Oh, so you were actually in there.  That explains the weird 
ending...so, you would be...?

Ani(shrieks): YOU KNOW WHO I AM, YOU MISERABLE EXCUSE FOR A FOX SPIRIT!

Kurama: (snaps his fingers) Oh, that's right...you look familiar...I 
think I remember...you're Rinku, right?
(Toguro Ani facefaults, which means he falls out of the doujinshi, 
landing heavily on the ground.  Picking himself up, he points a shaking 
finger at Kurama.)

Ani(snarls): You...are going to die, in a way so horrible, so painful, 
so hideous, so...I don't know what yet, but you are going to regret you 
ever existed!  This is all -your- fault anyway!

Kurama: Umm...Chuu, wasn't it?

Ani: (eyes bulge out) DIE!!!
(He leaps, hands grasping for Kurama's throat...)

                                                 ********

(Scene: the same forest, some time later.  Our hero...scratch that, our 
protagonist...no, wait, that's not quite right...our main character is 
walking along.  He looks disgruntled, not to mention disheveled, as his 
clothes are rather badly torn, and burrs and thorns are sticking out of 
his hair.  There is also a plant resembling a demented type of venus 
flytrap happily munching on his shoulder, but Ani doesn't appear to 
notice, as the other, and most important, thing he appears to be 
is...seriously annoyed.)

Ani: This is...intolerable.  Utterly disgraceful.  Pathetic, even.  (he 
sighs; even his trademark giggle is gone)  I wanted to deny it until 
now, but I suppose the time comes to admit it... (he sighs again, then 
suddenly looks up, furious)  I am the UNLUCKIEST PERSON ALIVE!
(Ani looks ready to rant about it some more, but suddenly there is a 
thunderous series of crashes, nearly knocking him off his feet.  His 
curiousity piqued, the shape-shifting psychopath follows the sound 
towards it's source, and finds it in a nearby clearing.  Within said 
clearing is a man.  The man is short-if not nearly as much as Ani 
himself-and quite muscular.  He wears a simple t-shirt and scuffed old 
jeans, and sports a rather distinctive star-shaped scar on his forehead.  
However, by far his most noticeable feature...or accessory, as it were, 
is the GIGANTIC axe slung casually over his shoulder.  Ani's eyes widen 
and he snickers to himself in glee, his irritation completely forgotten.  
Drawing himself up, he brushes the carnivorous plant off, as his 
"clothing" almost absently returns to full repair.)

Ani: Hee hee hee...perhaps luck is with me after all...hehehehehee...
(Striding out of the bush, Ani smiles evilly-still giggling-as the man 
turns towards him.  As he looks, his eyes widen and he backs up a step, 
swinging his axe down into a defensive position.)

Man: T-t-toguro Ani!

Ani: Ah, how gratifying to know you have not forgotten me in the long 
years since our last meeting, Bui. 

Bui: I thought you were dead...

Ani: (throws back his head and cackles for a moment) Fool!  You know my 
abilities, you should know better.  There is no force on this world, the 
demon world, or any other world that can destroy me.  

Bui: [Unfortunately...]  So what do you want?

Ani: Ah, Bui.  Always so...taciturn, and to the point.  I merely 
happened to be passing by, dear friend, and having seen you, wished to 
renew our acquaintance of years past.  You have no idea how much good it 
does my soul to know that you remember me after all these years.

Bui(skeptically): You mean it?

Ani: No.  I'm here to rip out your intestines and strangle you with 
them.

Bui: But...why me?

Ani: Why not?  I've killed 538 people since I got out of the damnable 
plant...538 � if you count that dog.
(That being said, Ani morphs his forearms into blades and begins walking 
forward, cackling evilly.  Bui, sweating heavily, holds his ground, his 
eyes following the diminutive demon.  Ani smiles even wider at the 
obvious effect his approach has on Bui...then howls and leaps forward, 
his arm-blades slashing out for the kill.  Bui's eyes widen, and he 
reflexively takes a step back, swinging his axe down in a desperate 
attempt at defence...which neatly bisects Ani, causing his two halves to 
land on either side of Bui.  There is a moment of silence.)

Bui: (blinks) That's...it?

Ani's (in unison): This is most annoying.  (getting up, they hop over to 
each other and recombine; as he turns; Ani points an accusing finger at 
Bui)  How DARE you get stronger?  Don't you know that's not -fair-, you 
cheating little coward?

Bui: (sweatdrop) Well...uh...

Ani: (in full rant mode) You, that Urameshi brat, that obnoxious fox 
spirit...you've ALL gotten better behind my back!  Am I the only 
honourable fighter left?  (Bui sweatdrops again; Ani suddenly widens his 
eyes and shifts the directions of his pointing finger) Hey, what's that 
over there?
(As Bui glances behind him curiously, Ani cackles and lets his finger 
extend, to...slam harmlessly against Bui's neck.  As the axeman looks 
back in surprise upon feeling the pinprick, Ani's jaw drops to the 
ground...literally.  After a moment, he retracts both the finger and his 
jaw, and turns away, his face a study in disgust.)

Ani: And tougher, too!  There is absolutely no fairness left!  I swear!  
All I wanted to do was kill a few people, maybe a little torture on the 
side!  Was that too much to ask?  (he wheels to face Bui again, a vein 
popping out on his forehead)  WAS IT!?

Loud, Booming Voice From the Sky: YES IT WAS.

Ani: (wheeling back) SHUT UP!  WHO ASKED YOU? 
(*CRACK*BOOM*SIZZLE*)

Ani: (slightly scorched) Pompous jerk...
(Thunder rolls again; Bui prudently inches a few more steps away, but it 
is too late, as Ani spins to face him once more.)

Ani: I ask you, Bui, was that really too much?

Bui: Umm... (glances at the sky warily) Yeah, I think so.

Ani: (slumps in defeat) But WHY?

Bui: I guess...you should have worked out more if you wanted 
to...uh...kill people and stuff.

Ani: (head shoots up) That's IT!  I may have gotten a little rusty, but 
some training and I'll be as good as new...no, even better!  (he morphs, 
his features distorting and reemerging as an excellent likeness of 
Leonardo DiCaprio) Genkai!  That old bat always had the hots for those 
suave movie stars...I'll sweep her off her feet, learn her greatest 
secrets, get back into training...one year, tops, and I'll destroy you 
all!  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... (Bui taps him on the 
shoulder) What NOW?

Bui: Umm...wasn't Genkai that chick that your brother...uh...knew, 
kinda?

Ani DiCaprio: Yes, yes, so what's the point, you imbecile?

Bui: Wouldn't she have kicked the bucket awhile back?  She was human, 
and kinda old anyway, as I recall...
(Ani-DiCaprio stares for a moment, then morphs back into his original 
form and collapses to the ground.  Bui stares at the pitiful, crumpled 
figure for a moment.)

Bui: Umm...well, maybe, you could do what I do?
(Slowly, agonizingly slowly, Toguro Ani's head comes up.  All the usual 
spark, fire and rampant insanity seems to have gone out of his features.  
His voice is dull, drained of its usual psychotic giggle, seemingly 
empty of purpose.)

Ani: And what is that?

Bui: (indicates his axe somewhat proudly) I'm a lumberjack!  (Ani 
facefaults)  No, seriously!  Builds up the muscle, makes you tough.  
(Ani remains collapsed on the ground)  Umm...also, you get to kill a lot 
of helpless trees, I guess...
(Ani's head snaps up, his eyes agleam with curiousity and interest.)

Ani: Really?

Bui: (nods) Uh-huh.  (waves his hand at the surrounding forest)  
Hundreds and hundreds a day.  (he pounds his fist into his palm as 
inspiration strikes)  You could work with me!  We could be a team again, 
just like the old days...well, except for the constant fear of death and 
stuff...

Ani: (leaps to his feet, energy and vigour returned)  YES!  But this is 
only the beginning!  Soon...soon, my dear Bui, entire FORESTS will quake 
at our coming!  The mighty Amazon will tremble to hear our names!  

Bui: That's a jungle, not the kind of forest I handle...

Ani: That's entirely beside the point, Bui my friend.  It's a matter of 
reputation.  (cackles) Yes, I like this idea.  A fitting revenge upon 
the god-cursed plants.  Soon, Kurama will know my power as his pitiful 
plants cower in terror, knowing the revenge that shall be wrought if 
they dare show their faces...err...leaves...err...pods!  Yes, pods! 
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

                                              ********

(Scene: the next day, late afternoon.  Another clearing, recently 
created.  Logs lie neatly sliced and piled along the edge.)

Ani: I QUIT!!!!

Bui: So soon?

Ani(steaming): This...this...is the most utterly BORING task I have ever 
undertaken!  Those..."plants"...they don't cower, or beg for mercy...for 
pity's sake, they don't even SCREAM IN PAIN!  How can you handle it?

Bui: (scratches his head)  I manage.

Ani: (gives him a pitying look) Well, then, toil away in this pointless 
drudgery if you wish, but I will not demean myself so!

Bui: (shrugs) Alright.  So what will you do?

Ani: Anything would be better than this.  Perhaps... (giggles) I shall 
pay Urameshi another visit and finish what I started.  Hee hee...

Bui: Umm...but...shouldn't you train first?

Ani: (blinks) What for?

Bui: (sweatdrop) Nothing.  Uhh...good luck, I guess.

Ani: (cackles)  I don't need luck.
(He stalks out of the clearing, laughing all the while.  Bui looks after 
him for a moment, then shrugs and pulls out a small notepad.)

Bui: [Oh well, at least I got double the area cleared today...]
(Meanwhile, Ani walks lightly upon a forest path, chuckling evilly to 
himself.)

Ani: [But while I prepare for my revenge against Urameshi and all those 
other fools, I need to fine-tune my control.  For that, I shall need to 
do -something-...some sort of task that makes the best use of my immense 
talents...something...-challenging-.]
(He begins to a laugh once more...)

                                                ********

(Scene: a dark alley.  Walking down it is Kurama; as he passes into the 
dim light cast by a streetlamp, however, he stops with a gasp as another 
figure walks into the light.  It is Hiei, and the short demon's eyes 
seem to glow warmly as he slowly moves forward, appearing to have phased 
from the darkness itself.)

Kurama: You...what are you doing here?

Hiei(softly): Hush.  

Kurama: But...what about the others?

Hiei: I don't care about the others.  You are the only one who means 
anything.  

Kurama: I...oh, how long I've waited for this, my darling...
(The two move closer, their faces drawing nearer, their breath coming 
faster in anticipation...and then Ani morphs out of the street light, 
cackles megalomaniacally, and skewers them both.  The two demons 
collapse, gagging on their own blood, as Ani giggles horribly, and 
smashes them both into the wall, then stabs at them again...and 
again...and again...)

Child: Man, this is -gross-!
(Ani pauses, looking outward, then casually plucks out what appears to 
be Hiei's pancreas and tosses it.  We follow it, as the bloody organ 
sails across the alley...and then out of it altogether, flying out the 
lip of the stage to splatter disgustingly on the face of as boy in the 
first row. He gags, and we pan back up to the stage, where an 
elaborate-if somewhat unorthodox-puppet show appears to be taking place.  
Ani's head pops up on the end of a suddenly long neck.)

Ani: Shut up, you little weasel!
(The kid promptly throws up in the lap of the kid next to him, which 
does, however, have the side-effect of shutting him up.  Meanwhile, 
another kid starts crying, and his parents-sitting next to him-look 
outraged.)

Mother: This is horrible!

Father: What do you think you're...
(On the stage, perfect replicas of the crying boy and his parents walk 
cheerfully into the alley, and are promptly eviscerated by the mini 
Toguro Ani.  The real parents, watching this, swallow.  Hard.  The 
father quickly clamps his hand over the boy's mouth.  Satisfied, the 
mini-Ani cackles, and then turns back to the remains of Hiei and Kurama, 
who are still moaning obligingly.  After a moment of thought, the 
mini-Ani picks them up and begins smashing them into each other, 
cackling megalomaniacally.  As this happens, we pan back behind the 
stage and see, unsurprisingly, the real Toguro Ani, the puppets 
springing out of his fingers, and the "stage" from his torso.  Despite 
this, for some reason he is still ducking his head under the lip of the 
stage.)

Ani: [Who could have known that entertaining small children could be 
so...surprisingly amusing?  This small ray of light I bring to their 
dreary lives just fills me with a warm glow...]
(Standing up, he begins to laugh...and the puppets begin to laugh...and 
more puppets pop out of him and start to laugh...and laugh...and 
laugh...)


                                             THE END

                                     OR SO YOU HOPE.

       BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!



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