"The Adventures of Chan and Chan", Chapter One
Some material by Henry J. Cobb, but it's mostly Rumiko Takahashi's work.
$Id: chan_chan.txt,v 1.1 1996/08/31 15:03:24 hcobb Exp $

"So you say the training grounds are just past this mountain?"

"Yes, but is very dangerous sir, nobody use now."

"My son and I like danger, it makes the training better, right Ranma?"

"Yes dad."

"Ranma!  You have run from our fight for far too long, prepare to die!"

"What?, who are you?"

"You pretend not to remember me?  You have taunted me for too long, now
you die!"

"That was a clumsy lunge, I remember you now.  Ryoga Hibiki, how's
life?"

"Stand still, curse you!"

"Not likely, you'll have to do much better than that."

Boom!

Rummmbbble!!!!

"Dad!, Mr Guide!"  It's no use, they're buried somewhere under this
avalanche, Ryoga too, I guess.  That was some punch, I wonder how he got
so strong?  I'd best say a prayer for their souls.

Now how do I get out of here?  Not back that way, I'll have to walk down
through the valley and find another exit.

What a strange bunch of pools this is.  I wish I could read this Chinese
sign.

"Ranma!"

"So, Ryoga you survived too.  Good, now I get to kill you and avenge my
dad."

"You think I can't follow you onto those poles?"

"You always were a clumsy idiot."  Good, I won't let you have an
honorable death, you don't deserve it.  I'll drown you in one of these
pools.

"Hiayi!"

Thunk!

Splash.

Splash.

That was a stupid move.  Why do I feel so strange.  What?  I'm a girl!

Stop it, boys don't cry.  Not even when they're girls.  I need to go
back and get my things.

No sign of Ryoga.  Hopefully he drowned.  Which way to get out of this
valley?  That looks like a pass over there.

"Bweee!!"

What's this?  "Poor fellow, you look even more miserable than me.  I'll
call you .... P-chan, short for piglet.  I'm..."  Do I call myself
Ranma-chan?  "I'm a friend."

"A village, maybe we can get directions here and food too, you
hungry P-chan?"

"Bwee."

"Yeah, me too."

This looks like some sort of competition.  "She's good, P-chan, but I'm
better.  P-chan?  Stop eating that!  We haven't asked yet."

"That was the grand prize in our competition.  I am Cologne and you have
done our village a great dishonor, prepare to die."

"Wait, you old ghoul!  If I beat her, I'm the champion and the prize is
mine!"

"Nobody has beaten Shampoo."

Kick!

"You see, nobody beats me!  I'm Ra--"  What's this sting in the back of
my neck...

"You awaken?  Good, in the morning you die, but tonight we serve up your
little friend as an appetizer.  Prepare the pig Shampoo."

"Bwee!"

"P-chan!"  It's no good, they've tied me too well.  "Mpph!"

"We don't want you ruining our supper with your wailing."

splash.

Thump!

Who's that running this way?  It's Ryoga.  What's he doing here, wet,
naked and scalded?

Snap!

"Come along, they'll be after us in a moment."

"But."

"We can't take them all on. run!"

"Nice move, the angry villagers behind us and this waterfall ahead.
What!?!"  He's taking me into his arms and kissing me?

"For luck. my pigtailed beauty."

Toss.  Jump.

No sign of Ryoga, maybe he did drown this time.  It would serve him
right.  "Oh P-chan!  You escaped too.  I'm so happy to see you."

"Bwee!"

"That jerk Ryoga, who did he think he was, kissing me like that?"

"Bwee?"

"Come on P-chan, I need to get back to Japan.  I've got some bad news to
tell."

"Nerima.  We got her at last P-chan, now where's the Dojo?"

"Excuse me miss?"  Gee, she's cute.  "Do you know where Soun Tendo
lives?"

"I should, I'm his daughter Akane.  What's the matter miss?"

"I've got some bad news for him."

"Soun Tendo?"

"Yes miss, my daughter said you have some bad news?"

"Yes, I'm sorry, but your friend Genma Saotome died in China."

"Thank you miss, but do you have any word about his son, Ranma Saotome?"

"I am Ranma Saotome."

"Bwee!?!"

"P-chan!"  I can't drop Mr Tendo to go running after that piglet now.

"Thanks for your help with my dad, he'll be OK in a bit.  That was some
shock."

"Yes, I'm sorry."

"You know Karate, don't you?"

"A little."

"You want to practice for a while?  Until he recovers?  I promise not to
hurt you."

"OK."

"You're very good.  Thank goodness, you're not a boy."

"Why?"

"I wouldn't want to loose to a boy."

Well, I used to be a boy.

"Ranma-chan, you're all sweaty from your workout, why don't you go
upstairs and take a bath"

"Thanks Kasumi, I haven't had a hot bath in ages."

Splash.

Ah, this is so nice.  What?!?  I'm a boy again.  How did that happen?

I splashed myself with cold water like this.  What, I'm a girl again, I
must be going nuts, the way I keep loosing them!  Then I settled into
the tub like this.  I'm a boy?  That's it!  Cold water turns me into a
girl, hot back into a boy.  I should've stopped for a hot bath somewhere
in China.

Zhoop.

Akane, she's so beautiful, I shouldn't stare like this, but I can't help
it.

Zhooppp.

Klik.

"Yaaaaaa!!"

I'm in for it now, I'd best get dressed and face the music.

"Who... Who..."

"Who are you?"

"I'm Ranma Saotome.  Sorry 'bout this."

"And so now I'm cursed to keep switching between boy and girl."

"No sweat.  Your problem isn't so terrible after all!"

"Huh?"

"My daughter Kasumi, nineteen.  And Nabiki, seventeen.  And Akane,
Sixteen.  Pick the one you want.  She's your fiancee."

"Oh, he wants Akane!"

"Eh!"

"Oh, definitely!"

"You must be joking!  Why would I be--"

"Well, you hate boys, don't you?"

"So you're in luck!  He's half-girl!"

"Me marry that pervert?! Never!"

"Say-- whaddya mean ``Pervert''?!"

"You looked at my body, pervert!"

"Hold it!  You walked in on me!"

"It's different when a girl sees a boy!"

"You're already a perfect couple!"

"He's a couple by himself!  And if you ever-"

"Goodbye!  I'm going back to China, to find a way to change back for
good.  This is no time for ``Fiancees''."

"I forbid it."

"What!"

"Father!"

"As your father's son, you are heir to his responsibilities.  We had an
agreement that you would marry one of my daughters and continue the
Tendo legacy.  And I mean to see that you keep it."

	Henry J. Cobb	hcobb@slip.net          http://www.io.com/~hcobb