Possibilities, Fragile Flower

This fic begins with an interesting premise, but it degenerates into a 
another cheap Ranma/Akane feelings drama. It should have centered on 
Kodachi's new environment, how she interacts with the school madness, 
and the problems revolving around her being accepted into the Fuurikan 
social life.

The prose are awfully bloated. Cut out the filler. For instance:

	Kodachi rummaged through her backpack, standing in the middle of 
one of the hallways of Furinkan high.  <Oh drat!  I know I had it in 
here somewhere.>  Kodachi continued rummaging, glancing up at the clock 
every so often, until a piece of paper at the bottom of her backpack 
caught her eye.  Smiling to herself, she reached down and removed her 
schedule from it's hiding place.  She unfolded to reveal that she was 
currently supposed to be in Home Economics.  <Wonderful...  I love to 
cook.>
	Kodachi dug her map of Furinkan out of her backpack and, following 
the directions precisely, arrrived at her destination in the minimal 
amount of time.

Most of that was worthless filler. Do we really need to know about how 
Kodachi had to rummage around her backpack? Is the schedule important? 
Does it matter how quickly she got to class, or that she did or did not 
waste any time? Do we need a blow-by-blow description of every action 
and thought that passes through her head for just changing classes?

	The huntress had trapped her prey, it would not be possible for him to 
escape.  To even attempt it could mean a fate worse than death.  His 
only remaining option was to try and plead his way out.  Kentaro 

dropped 

to his knees and clasped his hands together.
	"Puh-Leeze, Nabiki.  I promise I'll pay you what I owe tomorrow.  It's 
payday at my job.  I swear."
	Nabiki looked down at the puppy-dog eyes confronting her, and couldn't 
help but burst out laughing.  It just looked so pathetic!  "Okay, 
Kentaro.  I'll give you till tomorrow, but it's an extra 500 yen for 
making me wait.  Okay?"
	Kentaro nodded his head vigirously, getting an extension from the Ice 
Queen, even one with a little bit extra tacked on, was a rare thing.   
And he wasn't about to spoil it by being disagreable.  After she'd 

left, 

he stood and ran off in the direction of his house.  He was going to 
need to borrow some money.

This is scene is utterly pointless.

Thanks, Lawson, for another bizarre characterization. How does this 
stuff become canon?



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