Parody of a moment
by Ryan Anderson

Author's notes: 
I've seen it happen a million times, and always, it 
seems, in the early fall/late summer for some reason. Suddenly there's
this 
glut of "Akane and Ranma admit their feelings for one 
another" fics and, as Shampoo's Avatar on the ML, Its 
starting to turn my stomach! So, here's my response....

***

Ranma sat on the roof, gazing up at the brilliant stars 
twinkling overhead... Well, ok, so they weren't that 
brilliant, they were in Tokyo, after all, and the smog 
blocked out all but the brightest of the stars, but it 
was still quite peaceful. 

Ranma couldn't help but savor moments like this... times 
when the daily trials of his life just seemed to fade 
away, his mind clearing as the silent stars turned 
overhead... Ahhh.. what a night.

It wasn't that he completely forgot about his problems, 
it was just that here they didn't seem so pressing. Here 
he could stare up at the stars and imagine that he one of 
them, a bright blazing star high in the sky, and from 
there he could look back on his own life calmly, 
objectively... thinking about it all without  worrying 
whether his thoughts were "manly" or even "correct" they 
were just thoughts, after all... 

***

He was up there again, she was sure of it. She wasn't 
completely aware of *how* it was, exactly, that she knew, 
but she did. And always above her room for some odd 
reason... Could it be that he sat directly above her just 
to be close to her? That thought sent a strange thrill 
through her...

Its not like she wanted him to want to be close to her, 
or anything... Akane thought. But still, it made her feel 
kinda... warm... just thinking that he was up there, 
trying to be close to her the only way he knew. That 
baka.. he could be so silly at times, always unable to 
just come out and tell her how he feels....

But what would she say if he did? Akane found herself 
giggling girlishly as she blushed.... She didn't really 
lo--like Ranma, did she? She just didn't know. How could 
she tell if she really liked him? Wouldn't she know?

In all the shoujo manga she'd read, the girls always 
knew.. The guy's eyes would get all big and serious as he 
stared into the heroine's eyes, and very seriously 
proclaimed his love for her, convincing her as much with 
his eyes as with his words... She could just see Ranma, 
grabbing her by the shoulders and gazing deep into her 
eyes, her heart pounding as he said, "Akane, I love you!" 

Akane stopped herself suddenly as she realized she was 
giggling like some sily schoolgirl over some stupid guy. 
Did... did she really want Ranma to tell her he loved 
her!? No, no, of course not... That was ridiculous. Why 
the heck would she want that pervert to tell her that he 
loved her? She certainly didn't feel that way about him! 
No way! It was just impossible... He was probably up 
their on the roof right now think about his other 
fiancee's, doing it right over her room just to make her 
angry....

Slowly Akane's anger faded though. Ranma wouldn't do 
that... He was alot of things, including a pervert, but 
he wouldn't go out of his way to hurt people. Still, he 
only seemed to sit up on the roof when something was 
really bothering him... maybe she should go see what was 
up. After all, its not like she hated the guy or 
anything... sometimes he could be darn right sweet, when 
he tried.... Maybe they could finally just talk for a 
while, without all the arguing....

***

As Ranma gazed up at the night sky, he couldn't help but 
pick out three extraordinarily beautiful stars.. well, 
four, he grudgingly added. The first one; Akane, Violent, 
sure... but she could be really nice too. She was always 
there to champion the underdog, believing the impossible 
was possible. She had such blind faith at times it 
seemed, because once she believed in something, nothing 
on earth could change her mind about it. P-chan was a 
good example... How many times had the pig's secret 
almost been blown? how many hints had been dropped? yet 
she steadfast refused to believe he was anything other 
than her pet. It really was a very endearing trait of 
hers, the unshakable faith she had... it was just too bad 
that she had instantly pegged him as a pervert and now 
always saw him that way. Yet lately it seemed she'd been 
grudgingly giving him the benefit of the doubt most of 
the time... And she had that smile that just turned his 
insides to goo....

Then there was the second star: Shampoo. Beautiful, 
exotic, deadly... those were the first things that came 
to mind at first thought of the purple-haired amazon. 
She'd been the first suitor to show up after his 
engagement to Akane, and, minus a short hiatus, had been 
extremely tenacious in her pursuit of him. He grinned for 
a moment as he remember her, leaping into the bath with 
him, giggling and reckless at being so close to him. It 
wasn't a fond memory because he'd been naked in the bath 
with her (though that wasn't exactly a bad thing), he 
would never have taken advantage of her, or let her take 
advantage of him for that matter. No, that was a fond 
memory because she'd seemed so genuinely happy, and her 
smile had brrn absolutely stunning. Shampoo's smile was 
alot different from Akane's... When Akane smiled, it was 
like he was the only one in the world, but when Shampoo 
smiled.. and he meant really smiled, not just her usually 
happy smile, it was like the world was a little lighter a 
place. 

Odd that. how it was each girl's smile that fascinated 
him so, versus their other physical aspects which seemed 
to so fascinate the other guys at school. Still, he 
supposed turning into a girl on a daily basis went a long 
way toward desensitizing him to such things...

Shampoo was certainly alot different from Akane in ways 
besides her smile. Shampoo was a Warrior, while Akane was 
a fighter. It was a subtle difference, but an important 
one that really seemed to highlight their differences. As 
a warrior, Shampoo fought and acted like she was 
constantly at war... and she would do whatever it took to 
win. It didn't matter what it was, she threw herself into 
the battle as if this could well be her last and she was 
determined to give a good accounting of herself. Akane on 
the other hand... well, it wasn't that she didn't fight 
extremely hard, and she never seemed willing to admit 
defeat, but it was like she just wasn't as willing to go 
as far to win as Shampoo. Ranma just couldn't see her 
chasing a girl who defeated her all the way across china 
just to punish her for it. And Ranma really wasn't sure 
if that was a good or bad thing... certainly if she threw 
herself into her martial arts with as much fervor as 
Shampoo did, she'd be a better martial artist for it, but 
it would take away alot of the sweet Akane that he knew 
was in her somewhere....

Which brought him to the third star of the evening: Ukyo. 
Ucchan. His best friends turned hate-filled persuer 
turned cute fiancee. He'd never really understood how 
Ukyo could go from trying to kill him to trying to marry 
him so fast, but he supposed Shampoo had done pretty much 
the same thing, even if she hadn't known his two halves 
had been one and the same... Still, when Shampoo found 
out she ran off to think about it for a month, Ukyo it 
had taken only a few seconds, and for some reason that 
kinda bugged him. Didn't she take life changing decisions 
like this seriously? Still, of all his fiancee's, she was 
the only one who always had a sympathetic ear. but while 
she would always listen to him, she never shared her 
feelings with him, and when he asked her about it she'd 
always get really self conscious and hit him with her 
spatula... Sure she said she loved him but he didn't 
really feel like that around her... maybe it was because 
he always thought she was a he when they were little, but 
he just didn't feel the same way around her as he did 
with Akane and Shampoo. When Ukyo smiled, it made him 
feel good, but nothing like the warm fuzzy feeling he got 
from Akane.

And finally there was Kodachi... Kodachi had never even 
tried to be his friend, her laugh set his every nerve on 
edge, and she just generally wasn't a very likable 
person.. He did feel sorry for her sometimes, she must 
have had a rough childhood or something to make her so 
twisted, and she really did need someone who would care 
for her and try to straighten her out, but it just wasn't 
him, there was no way he could give her what she so 
desperately needed. Short of a swift kick in the rear, he 
amended

***

Akane placed the ladder against the side of the house as 
quietly as she could, clutching a blanket under arm as 
she began to climb. How *did* Ranma get up here so 
easily?? He just seemed to effortlessly launch himself, 
but of course he'd never bothered to teach *her* that 
little maneuver....

No, she chided herself, I'm not going to get angry at 
him, not tonight.

As she crested the roof, a soft breeze caught her, 
causing her to shiver as her gaze found the dark bit of 
roof  just above her room where Ranma sat. As she 
approached Ranma sat up suddenly, turning to face her.

His eyes caught and held her's in an intense gaze, the 
light of the moon rising behind her reflected in his deep 
orbs giving them a hypnotizing quality...

"Akane..." he said quietly.

Akane looked away, suddenly feeling self conscious and 
nervous all over. What was she doing here?!? "I uh... I 
thought you might be cold so... I brought you this 
blanket!" she said quickly, thrusting the cloth at him, 
her face flushed.

He took it slowly, his eyes never leaving her, and for a 
moment both of them just stood there, staring back and 
forth. Finally, Ranma said, "Well uh... this blankets 
really too big for just one.. do you.. uh.. that is..."

Akane smiled back at him, one of *those* smiles that 
seemed to melt him as she said "Sure Ranma, I'd like 
that...."

Carefully, so as not to actually touch one another, the 
both sat down on the roof with the blanket wrapped around 
them, and for a time silence reigned as they both studied 
the stars.

Akane was so excited she couldn't believe it.. her heart 
seemed to be racing and she felt practically giddy, 
though she still couldn't figure out why. Was just being 
this close to Ranma causing her to feel this way?!?  She 
could scarcely stand it, being this close to him without 
actually touching him... all she could seem to think 
about was how much warmer it would be pressed against his 
side...

Her face was completely flushed as she thanked the kami 
that it was dark so he couldn't see the color of her 
face. Slowly she turned and studied his profile as he 
stared off into space... the curve of his face, his broad 
shoulders....

Suddenly Ranma turned to face her too, and their eyes 
met... Akane nearly squealed with delight: this was it, 
it was finally going to happen! It was just like a Shoujo 
manga, Ranma would say he loved her and then they'd kiss 
and he'd hold her tight....

"Akane... I..." he started, stuttering as he tried to 
force the words out.

That was it, just a little more Akane silently urged, 
leaning in a little bit closer and giving him an 
expectant look.

"... I ... I.... " Come on Ranma, she urged with her 
eyes, you can do it... "I lo-love..." just spit it out! 
she wanted to yell. "I love ..." yes! this was it! he was 
finally going to say it!

"I-I love to travel."

uh... what? a very small voice in the back of Akane's 
head said as she made a small "urk" noise...

"Yeah you see... " He said, turning back to face the 
stars, " I grew up on the road, and while its been nice 
staying here and all, I just don't think I could live 
here... I really do want to find the Nannichuan, and 
well, I don't want to mooch off your family too much 
longer either." He turned back to face her, where she 
hadn't moved, sitting as still as a statue as her mind 
tried to come to grips with what he'd just said.

"Well, " he said, getting up, and leaving her there still 
staring at the empty place he'd just vacated. "I'll tell 
everyone tomorrow morning and we'll be on our way. I'm 
sure I'll come by and visit again some time..." and with 
that he jumped off the roof.

For a long while Akane just stared at the spot Ranma had 
vacated, not believing what had just happened, then 
finally she stood up, and shouted to the heavens: 
"RANMA... NO... BAKA!!"

***

Ranma strode down the road, a renewed spring in his step. 
Ahhh back on the road again. The old panda was a ways 
back, having put on enough weight at the Tendos to not be 
able to keep up to his pupil's spry step. Ranma smirked. 
He'd whip the old man back into shape soon enough...

Suddenly he stopped, sensing something, then leapt to the 
side, narrowly avoiding a skull crushing bonbari. Shampoo 
appeared in a blur of fists and and kicks, quickly 
pushing Ranma onto the defensive. That didn't last long 
though as Ranma spotted an opening  and counter attacked, 
knocking the purple-haired one back. The two fought back 
and forth for a number of minutes until finally they both 
just stopped, staring at one another. 

Shampoo shot Ranma a smirk. "You still is better than me, 
Airen.. But where you think you going without Shampoo-
bride, hmm?"

Ranma looked away with a sheepish expression. "Ah man.. 
Come on Shampoo! Can't you give up this marriage crap 
already? And I'm going on a training trip with my pop, of 
course.. maybe to china to get a cure for my curse."

"Aiyah! Airen go to China? Shampoo come too! She be good 
guide, speak language, yes? and Shampoo need train too! 
Airen maybe stronger, but Shampoo think narrow gap yes?"

"No! Shampoo..." she had that determined look in her eyes 
again, as Ranma sighed in frustration.

"You think you stop Shampoo from coming? You welcome to 
try..."

Ranma gave her a tired smile.. he supposed she would be 
fun to spar with.. an interesting change from the old 
panda. "Alright, I suppose you can come along.. " He 
could see the *look* the always came before the *glomp* 
growing in her eyes... "... but no funny stuff, ok? No 
hugging, no kissing, nothing, got that? We're going to 
train, alright?" 

Shampoo looked away for a moment, disappointed, but when 
she looked back she gave him a very lovely smile. "Okay 
Airen, Shampoo not do those things you no want her too..." 
She gave him a sly look out of the corner of her eye as 
they resumed walking in the direction Ranma had been 
headed. "... But Shampoo think you miss out on too too 
important training� Shampoo think you is scared."

"Me?! Scared? You�ve got to be kidding me..."

"Then why you no train in special technique with Shampoo? 
You afraid you fail?"

"NO! that�s not it.. wait, special technique?"

"Yes, is super-secret amazon technique: Marital Arts." ...

**

ok, so that last scene was just a little bit of 
gratuitous Shampoo-fanboy stuff, but you didn�t *really* 
think I was going to write even a spamfic and not include 
Shampoo, did you? ;) 
 
Fic status report:
Purple Haired Destiny: Still working on it... slowly. ;) 
I'm about half way done, and I only seem to be writing at 
a pace of about 1-2 pages a week, and PHD4 is going to be 
easily 50 pages so.... I wouldn't hold your breath for 
anytime soon.

Love's Labor Lost: *ALMOST* finished with Chapter 3.  
Only two scene's left to write, so hopefully by the end 
of august I'll have all the editing done.

5 of a Kind: Reunion: Stalled. About half of the first 
chapter written, and I'd like to continue it, but I write 
so slowly these days it doesn't look like its going to 
happen any time soon.  And my writing time is only going 
to dwindle as school starts up again....

New additions to my fanfic site: Happosai's Aikan Muyo 
chapter 11 is still in the works, not really very close 
to being finished. I'm also currently trying to get 
Shadowmane's fic "A Tale of Two Wallets" up on my site 
soon as well. For those of you who haven't read it yet 
(which is probably most of you, since I don't think he's 
posted it anywhere else yet) its a really quite good 
story of what would happen if Nabiki got engaged to Ranma 
instead of Akane.  Very well written and interesting. 
Check it out.

--



Ryan Anderson          
-Shampoo's Avatar!
andersor@cs.colorado.edu
http://ucsu.colorado.edu/~andersor/fanfic/fanfic.html
http://ucsu.colorado.edu/~andersor/tenchi/ryoko.html