Ranma walked onstage, looking at his so-called friends floating near the
exits in hopes of escaping.  He nervously straightened his red plaid flannel
shirt as the band behind him started playing and he gave up hope of escaping
his dire fate.
    He glanced at me quickly, and then he started singing.
    "I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay, / I sleep all night and I work all day."
    I relaxed and sheathed my knife as the chorus, all dressed like Mounties
along with Akane in a particularly frilly dress, sang, "He's a lumberjack
and he's okay, / He sleeps all night and he works all day."
    A sweat drop appeared on Ranma's head as he sang, "I cut down trees, I
eat my lunch, / I go to the lavatory. / On Wednesdays I go shopping / And
have buttered scones for tea."
    Ranma's sweat drop got bigger as the chorus sang.
    "He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch, / He goes to the lavatory. / On
Wednesdays he goes shopping / And has buttered scones for tea."
    Akane joined in for the refrain, and they went onto the next verse.
Ranma's voice amazingly stayed stead through the whole verse.
    "I cut down trees, I skip and jump, / I like to press wild flowers. / I
put on women's clothing, / And hang around in bars."
    Ranma looked at me, with a pleading look.  I smiled cruelly as the song
went on.
    "He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps, / He likes to press wild
flowers. / He puts on women's clothing, / And hangs around in bars."
    Akane's voice was particularly prominent on this chorus.  "He's a
lumberjack and he's okay, / He sleeps all night and he works all day."
    She kicked Ranma gently in the ankle, and Ranma's sweat drop  grew even
larger and I noticed a twitch.  He was not gonna make it offstage before he
snapped.
    "I cut down trees, I wear high heels, / Suspendies and a bra. / I wish
I'd been a girlie, / Just like my dear pappa."
    As the chorus, sans Akane, sang "He cuts down trees, he wears high
heels? / Suspendies...and a bra?" his twitch got worse.  I started guessing
who he was gonna attack first.
    "...he's a lumberjack and he's okay, / He sleeps all night and he works
all day."
    Ranma snapped.  With a growl he leaped at Ryoga, who ran stage right,
towards me.  I leaped for the catwalk.
    The chorus, not willing to stop before ending the song, continued.
"...he's a lumberjack and he's OKAAAAAAAAAAYYY. / He sleeps all night and he
works all day."
    They then wisely scattered and lost themselves in the crowd.

*** *** ***   *** *** ***   *** *** ***

    Okay, so not everybody was really in character here.  Well, not if you
go by the canton.  These people are in character, however, for what
incarnations of them will show up in Run...  (And all character changes will
be explained, even if it simply gets put down to "This is an alternate
universe and this character's history has been changed from the original
series.")
    As to why Akane helped here (and in that aforementionewd frilly dress),
well, she's not too happy about this little secret he's been keeping from
her...


        --Ryo Hoshi, Dragon in Charge of Cat & Mouse Publishers
          Still borrowing Under's account