At 19:03 9/2/98 PDT, Guy Under The Bridge wrote:

MY DYING WISH
a Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by Ukyou Kuonji
all characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan &c
No infringement is intended

Death fics can be powerful, but only if they're done well. Having sex 
with Ranma as her dying wish is...audacious, but it really doesn't tug 
the heart strings.

I cannot let this stand, uncountered. 

The combined symbolism of orgasm and death is one of the most powerful
available. It's the Alpha, and the Omega. The moment of death, combined
with the moment of conception, creation of new life. Audacious as all hell
to put it in a fic, especially to anyone with an emotional attachment to
the subject.

Nabiki, Kasumi and Kodachi got left out, and where the hell was Ryouga? 
You can't scrimp with a fic like this or else it'll just be weak.

I must counter this as well, or at least moderate it. This fic is about
Ukkyo and Ranma, not Nabiki, Kasumi, and Kodachi. While the transition from
the weakened Ukkyo to the bedridden Ukkyo seems a bit sudden, it still
retains a large fraction of it's power.

Ultimately, that is precisely what's wrong with the piece--it's weak. 
The premise is good, but there is so, so much more and better ways to 
handle it than how you did.

My counter:

this is an excellent handling of _Ukkyo's_ point of view in a situation
that, by it's nature, is intense. There is nothing of Ranma, or Konatsu in
this fic. there doesn't need to be. 

My mind, however, whilst still reeling from emotional impact (I know people
who have cancer. I like most of them. this..  this *shrug*) does point out
some drawbacks to the handling of this concept. 

my suggestion? 

counterpoint.
Ukkyo has a very strong point of view, but this is something I could see
from Ranma's viewpoint, or Konatsu's. a Ninja sees all, knows all, right?

aww, hell. 

one of the more poignant songs on the BGC soundtrack just came on.

I'm outa here. 
-/\/
Nick Casler					running at WARP speed?
caslern@matnet.com				os/2 Warp 4. 
							engage