Seventh Messenger wrote:

On Critique:
Well, still no actual critique, but I have recieved some useful comments
(sadly, about 90% are negative). Anyway, thanks. I really needed that.

On Plotlessness:
There were several comments on how plotless the story was. I'm not sure
what the "plotless" means, but I'll have to assume you read something
other than my fic. There is a clearly visible plot behind it, and I'm
wondering why it would be plotless. Could someone point out where the
"plotlessness" comes in? Thanks.

On the flatness of the characters due to script format:
I'm not sure why this came to me as a comment. I tried to present the
multi-faceted characters in the same manner anime presents it, via
showing, not telling. Are anime characters flat? Hmm. Don't think so. So
like, um, why would mine be?

Because anime scripts are filled out by the acting and action on screen. 
They would be infinitely less interesting if simply read.
I can't remember your fic, since it came out just as I was burning out 
on that major C&C burst I pulled.  Send it to me if you want something 
detailed.  However, I rarely see a script format story that is better 
done that way than in prose.  

"Show, don't tell" is an irrelevant aphorism in regard to this issue.
The meaning of the expression is, "Characters are better revealed by 
their words and actions than by simply telling us what they are like.
For example, it is better to describe Rei Hino acting hot tempered than 
to just tell us 'Rei Hino was a hot tempered girl'"

On characterization:
Was it really that bad? I mean, I spent about two whole episodes
developing the characters. Am I doing something wrong?

Update:
This fic is on hold until Long Ngo finishes his fic. Until then, I'll be
working on the prose version. I'm doing this to meet popular demand, and
I'm going to say right now that this wasn't meant for prose. The scene
development can only occur in anime style, and if translated to prose,
some things may be lost.

SeventhOne

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