Subject: [FFML] [Fanfic][YYH] PPF Memories (10/10)
From: Siew Lee
Date: 10/2/1998, 11:56 PM
To: yyh-fic@graffiti.net, fanfic@fanfic.com

Hi minna-san! Alright, after some torture sentences from a few individuals
including myself, I have finally churned out the final and last part of the
first story. ::excuse SL.. She simply has to do some cheering in front of
the comp.:: Credits go to Rhionae for wading through this fic, picking out
my mistakes one by one. 

WARNING! This part contains mushy mushy scenes, so please make sure you can
stomach it. :p 

Shameless plugs:

1. Okay, the ending may seem a bit abrupt but you guys will see something
even more interesting in the second story - 'Vengeance'. Watch out, Kurama
fans! 'Vengeance' is going to feature Kurama a lot... but please don't flame
me as I'm taking the story down a *very* wild path BUT you guys will get
what you want at last... <- I'm not giving anymore spoilers after this. 

2. Any comments please send it to me this few days as this fic is going to
the RAAC very soon! Please... give comments... Not many ppl give me comments! 

3. FFMLers, please send your C&Cs to 'wsiewlee@tm.net.my' 'cuz I'm not
subscribed to this ML anymore... ^_^; 

That's all for now! 

Siew Lee 
[wsiewlee@tm.net.my]

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		~~~The Past, The Present And The Future~~~

    			   ~~~The Past - Memories~~~

          Chapter 10 - Regain The Memories, Regain The Love 

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	The bell in the Reikai palace struck eleven times, marking the 
time for them to go. Koenma and Misuko released each other's hands 
and looked up. Over the far end of the garden, they seemed to hear 
an old owl hooting sorrowfully. Koenma stood up and helped Misuko 
stand on her feet. 

	"Isn't it a beautiful night?" commented Misuko softly.

	"Yeah, I loved looking at Ningenkai's moon, you know; but I 
seldom got the chance to do so," answered Koenma, lapsing into 
another of his poetic moods. Well, one of his very rare poetic moods. 

	"When I was small, I always thought there was a rabbit staying 
in the moon. There was a very beautiful fairy as its owner; with 
a mulberry tree. Of course that was just my imagination from those 
storybooks. Well, I also like stars shining brightly in the dark sky. 
Have you ever noticed the two bright stars that always appear in 
mid-September? Always so far apart..." said Misuko, smiling as she 
thought of the age old fairy tale. Personally, she had loved that 
story... So romantic, yet so sad. 

	"Um... Yeah..." answered Koenma, busy looking at the moon. 

	"It seems like they are always reaching for each other, but 
never once touching; only allowed to see each other from a 
distance..." Misuko herself had come close to tears almost every 
time she read that story. It was an old legend... Two lovers 
separated by heaven and mortality... It was just simply too sad. 
There was once a man rearing cattle. Yes, he was poor, yet he was 
content with his life. One day, he walked past a stream and he saw 
a few beautiful fairies playing with water. Silk clothes and 
gossamer-like sashes lay on the banks... Out of curiosity, he took a 
sash and kept it. The rest of the ladies went back as time passed by, 
but naturally one girl simply couldn't find hers. 

	At last, the girl knew that a mortal had kept her sash. Without 
her sash she couldn't return to heaven, so she kept pleading with the 
man... The man wouldn't return it to her; instead they had fallen in 
love. Yes, they got married and even had two children; but the girl 
became more and more restless as time passed by - she yearned to go 
back to heaven. It was one fateful day when she finally found the 
sash. She wrapped it around her shoulders, intending to come back 
after a short visit to the heavens... but she never came back. She 
was forbidden to go down to earth ever again... 

	It was said that the Jade Emperor had finally let the two 
lovers meet, but only once a year during mid autumn. Two stars 
reaching out for each other, the Weaver Girl and the Cow Boy. 
Forbidden love was always bitter... 

	Koenma gave her a hug and pat her on the back. "Next time when 
I'm off from work, I'll enjoy the moon and stars with you. Honest." 

	"I hope I'll have time to do so also," answered Misuko, putting 
her head against Koenma's shoulder. "I feel so tired after all 
these things that happened so fast." 

	"Yeah, me too. The idea of attacking someone else wasn't 
exactly very appealing to me," said Koenma.

	"By the way, do you learn any martial arts?" asked Misuko. The 
simple thought of Koenma chopping a piece of wood with his bare hands 
made her giggle. 

	"Yeah, when I was in training for the Crown Prince's place, I 
was put under the guidance of a old man for some type of stupid 
training. I'm supposed to know how to do sword play, at the least. I 
just mastered that and I let go of my training. Never liked martial 
arts personally," said Koenma, smiling at the thought of his 
training. Awkward situations always happened, though. 

	"I just wish that everything will turn out alright and three 
worlds will be peaceful and harmonious. Some people just enjoy 
violence," said Misuko, voicing out her thoughts but she felt a 
little twinge of guilt. Maybe she shouldn't have been saved this way. 
What would Yamaro and Murashi do Ningenkai? 

	"Hopefully one day, we might be able to see that happen," said 
Koenma, tightening his grip around Misuko's arm.

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	Hand in hand, they walked back to their rooms on Floor 3. They 
gave each other a peck on their cheeks just for a simple goodnight. 
Just before closing the door, Misuko reached out and whispered into 
Koenma's ear. "See you tomorrow." Then, the door closed shut, leaving 
Koenma there.

	Koenma took a quick glance a quick glance at his wristwatch. 
The hour hand showed 11.00pm, but the minute hand moved to 5 minutes 
past 11.

	"Oh no... Otousama is really going to be angry this time," 
groaned Koenma to himself. Thoughts swirled through his brain. 
Letting Yamaro and Murashi go, caught red-handed (or in this case, 
red-faced) with Misuko in his room... Enma-Daiou had some really good 
questions for him this time.

	Koenma sighed distressfully. How it happened was still so vivid 
in his memories... Koenma closed his eyes and stopped running. He 
leaned against the corridor wall and slowly slid on to the floor. 
Sub-consciously, he drew up his legs near to his chest and he wrapped 
his arms around them. What to do? He had always thought that his 
father was just towards every being, youkai or ningen; but he had 
learnt the horrible truth. Enma-Daiou wanted his friend dead! 

	Koenma sighed melancholically this time. His father was not 
quite what he had thought. Sensui's incident had made him realize the 
reality set before him. His father was nothing but a power-crazy 
tyrant, never taking care to see how he felt. Like a jigsaw puzzle, 
the picture was finally completed. Ever since Enma-Daiou indirectly 
caused Misuko's death, Koenma had began to feel suspicious of his 
father; was his father doing this for the good of Reikai, or was it 
merely just to save his own face? If it was the latter, Enma-Daiou 
was too selfish, never thinking once what grievous harm it would 
cause to Koenma; simply because that was the way Enma-Daiou had 
perceived him. 

	It was a totally unfair deal. 

	Koenma thought of his friend, Yusuke. He still couldn't believe 
that Enma had wanted Yusuke's life... Koenma knew that Yusuke 
wouldn't do a single thing to harm Ningenkai and Makai, but Enma... 

	Koenma opened his eyes and forced himself to stand up. What was 
done, was the past. He couldn't afford to look back and regret. 

	With a quick paces, Koenma half-ran to the study room on the 
ground floor. He steadied himself and took a deep breath. Slowly and 
cautiously, he knocked on the door with one of the brass knockers.

	"Come in." A booming voice beckoned him in. A bead of sweat ran 
down Koenma's forehead. 

	Koenma pushed the door and it opened a crack. He pushed a 
little harder to reveal a dimly lit and cozily furnished room. Four 
walls of the room were lined with many books and documents. There was 
a huge table, with an equally huge arm chair. Enma-Daiou was there, 
looking and sorting out some papers scattered around the desk. Enma-
Daiou looked up and saw Koenma.

	"Sit down." Enma gestured to a chair in front of him. Koenma 
walked forward and closed the door behind him. Stiffly, he sat down 
on the chair intended for him, prepared for the worst. His mind was 
totally in fuzzy state. 

	"Koenma, my son. Actually there's quite a number of things I 
would like to discuss with you. Before going to the important topic, 
there's a question that I really want to ask," began Enma.

	"Yes, otousama," answered Koenma quietly, near to a whisper.

	Enma leaned forward towards Koenma and asked, "Do you have a 
girlfriend?"

	"Em... no," answered Koenma slowly and swallowed.

	"Then can you explain why there was a girl clad only in a 
towel standing with you half naked in your room this afternoon? I 
thought we had reached an agreement that no girls in Reikai without 
my permission? Especially in your room?" demanded Enma, a sinister 
smile lit up on his rather large face. 

	"Well, it's like this. She came along with Yusuke and the rest. 
Since she came here in a hurry, she had forgotten her extra clothes, 
so she came and asked for a change of clothes," explained Koenma 
hurriedly.

	"You can say what you want, but the truth is that I had caught 
you red-hand. Remember, no girls next time without my approval. By 
the way, that girl looks quite familiar to me. Where have I seen her 
before..." wondered Enma.

	"Otousama, do you remember a promise that you made to me over a 
century ago?" ventured Koenma cautiously. Enma-Daiou's temper 
should be good today.

	"What promise...?" asked Enma in return.

	"Misuko. A name. Do you remember?" asked Koenma again.

	"Um... her name also sounds familiar," replied Enma.

	"Otousama, over a century ago, you had forbidden us to be 
together - her name is Misuko. You promised me that I could have her 
if I could ever find her again," explained Koenma, shakily.

	"Oh, yes! That girl does resemble Misuko closely." said Enma 
Daiou as he scratched his head in wonder. "How did you find a girl so 
close in looks?"

	"She *is* Misuko," replied Koenma softly.

	Enma-Daiou thought for a moment, trying to recall all of his 
words. "Alright, I'll keep my promise. When so you want to have your 
engagement?" asked Enma-Daiou.

	"Not yet. Thanks, otousama. I'll tell you when I want one," 
said Koenma, obviously overjoyed. He got up from the chair and headed 
towards the door.

	"Before you go, I have another question and it's very important 
to all of us," said Enma.

	"Yes?" said Koenma curiously, but a pit at his stomach seemed 
to sink deeper. What he had feared most had come. Yamaro and 
Murashi... 

	"Internal sources and reports have confirmed that you had freed 
Yamaro and Murashi. You know I had wasted a lot of my Reiki and time 
on capturing them. What is your reason for this matter?" demanded 
Enma coldly.

	"They have reasons and prisoners under them. They threatened to 
kill the hostages if I didn't set them free. As you know, I always 
put lives ahead of any other things else," answered Koenma in a 
breath, even though there was only Misuko. Otousama would blow up if 
he was to ever know that.

	"You are the one who set them free, so you are responsible for 
the havoc they may wreak, whether directly or indirectly. I don't 
care how you do it, asking help from your team of Investigators or 
doing the dirty job yourself. Just make sure that they don't do any 
harm towards Makai, Ningenkai, and the most important of all, 
Reikai," said Enma seriously.

	"I will," promised Koenma, swallowing nervously.

	Koenma gave a nod as he said that and walked out of the door. 
Enma-Daiou's eyes followed him intently, shaking his head worriedly.

	*Hope he knows how to take care of himself.* thought Enma. "On 
the second thought, he's all grown up. Maybe I shouldn't try to 
control his life anymore. Sons...*

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	Koenma walked past the corridor to the lift to floor three, 
where all the living quarters and rooms were located. The lift door 
slid open and Koenma walked inside. He hit the L.E.D. button marked 
three on the control panel.

	He was still confused about his feelings deep inside. He ought 
to be in a very happy mood since Enma agreed to his promise and 
wishes; but now he felt almost nothing, except a twinge of guilt? 
Maybe it was emptiness.

	*Does Misuko still have any feelings for me? She has totally 
lost all her memories of the past... On the other hand, I'm in debt. 
I dragged her into this mess. First, I made her commit suicide. 
Second, I indirectly tortured her when Yamaro and Murashi kidnapped 
her... I shouldn't had gone seeking her in the garden that night,* he 
thought in a depressed way, regretting his past actions. 

	The elevator bell rang and door slid open again, to the hallway 
of third floor. Koenma got out before the door closed again and 
slowly trudged along the long, straight corridor. He stopped in front 
of Misuko's room and stared at the wooden door. He raised a hand to 
knock, but he couldn't decide what to do. Koenma heaved a sigh of 
frustration and he buried his face into his palms, desperately 
seeking some enlightenment on his dilemma. Leaning against the door, 
he slid down and sat on the floor.

	*Yamaro and Murashi. What should I do about them? Yusuke and 
other's Youki and Reiki combined together isn't sufficient to defeat 
them. Maybe it was a mistake to free them from the very beginning. A 
mistake to know Misuko. Now, Otousama have agreed on Misuko but yet, 
why am I feeling so empty? Misuko needs to go back to Ningenkai. I 
can't be that selfish. I'm confused by emotions. Does she really like 
me? Or were her feelings out of pity for me? Do I really still like 
her? She seemed to change slightly, or was it just her face that 
made me lose my head?* thought Koenma miserably.

	Questions and riddles swam about his head and over him, like 
endless waves washing over him. Just now the scene in the garden had 
been so perfect, like what he had been dreaming and waiting for 
during the past years. It wasn't so now. Marred by black emotions, 
negative thoughts and emotions. 

	Koenma wrapped his arms around his legs and sat there, in the 
dead of the night.

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	The crescent moon in the dark sky emitted soft sliver light and 
the serenity of the black blue sky was enchantingly beautiful to the 
soul. Misuko's heart wasn't there to enjoy it. She lay tossing in her 
bed. She turned her head to look at the moon's reflection in the 
glossy surface of the bloodstone pendant that lay on the bedside 
dresser. 

	Gently, she picked it up and studied it. She touched it softly 
and felt the cool sensation that raced up from her fingertips. Now, 
Koenma had given her the stone. As it was once hers, so was it now. 
Did Koenma really love her? There was still a question bugging her. 
How did Koenma feel about her now? He seemed sincere enough; but 
looks could be deceiving. Or was it her face that attracted him in 
the first place?

	*I'll know.*

	Misuko got up and walked towards the door. She heard a 
scraping sound at the door. She turned the knob cautiously and took 
a peep out. A figure fell through the door and landed at her feet. 
Misuko gasped in surprise but stopped when she realized it was 
Koenma. Koenma got up quickly and dusted himself.

	"Why are you sitting outside?" asked Misuko, trying hard not to 
laugh.

	"Em... I was just thinking about something," answered Koenma in 
a disheartened way. Certain things couldn't be expressed vocally. If 
expressed, hearts would be broken. 

	Misuko shut the door. She led Koenma to sit on the sofa set. 
Koenma accepted and sat down with a broody expression.

	"You can tell me your problem now. Is it because of your 
Otousama?" asked Misuko as she put a comforting hand on Koenma's lap. 
Koenma sighed again. 

	*Misuko has the right to know. It isn't my problem solely,* 
thought Koenma in silence. After a while, he spoke.

	"Misuko, actually I had been thinking about this problem in 
our relationship. A major problem." began Koenma. He took a deep 
breath and continued.

	"I was thinking about you and me. Are we still the same as last 
time? I mean you changed... I... I don't think I still love you," 
said Koenma towards Misuko, biting back the pain forcibly. Koenma 
looked down as Misuko stared at him  with such pained expression. 
Misuko felt as if the sky had dropped on her. Yes, she didn't know 
how to express her feelings exactly as last time, but she tried her 
best. *That jerk Koenma didn't know how serious my feelings were...* 
thought Misuko, her chest tightened considerably with anger.

	But maybe it would be better this way; she would be free from 
her past! An emotional turmoil began an assault on her conscience 
again; she should take the final step. 

	Misuko heard the words and it drove down to the very inside of 
her soul. She never expected Koenma to be so cruel with words. 
Slowly, she stood up. "I'm willing to do anything." She finished the 
sentence and ran out of the room as she brushed away the tears that 
came out without control.

	Koenma glanced at her and lay back on the sofa. He felt a stab 
of guilt every now and then. 

	"What I did is good for everyone else, including you. I can't 
be involve with you. Misuko, you still have a life to lead in 
Ningenkai. I can't be that selfish. Sorry..." thought Koenma sadly. 
He fell in a restless sleep full of dreams and nightmares.

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	Misuko walked straight out to the corridor. She had been 
thinking about this for quite long time, since her imprisonment by 
the duo villains. She stopped in front of a room, hoping she had 
remembered correctly. She knocked on it. 

	Five minutes passed. Misuko knocked again and this time a 
sleepy looking Kurama answered the door.

	"Kurama-san, sorry for calling you so late in the night. I had 
heard from Botan that you are an expert on plants and medicine. I 
want to ask for your help," said Misuko in a determined tone. Once 
decided, there was no turning back. No turning back for anything like 
regret. 

	"Yeah sure, if it is within my power. So what's your problem?" 
Although Kurama didn't like to be waken up in the middle of the 
night, he still kept his usual grace and gentleman-like ways. If 
someone asked for help, he would surely help. No doubt about that. 

	"I want to regain memories of my past," said Misuko slowly and 
bravely.

	"It is very dangerous," answered Kurama, studying the girl in 
front of him. "Are you sure you want to try it?" 

	"Why is it dangerous?" asked Misuko curiously.

	"There's always a possibility that it might be wrong. Not a few 
have gone insane after eating this type of medicine. There are also 
undocumented side-effects like dizziness, butterflies in your stomach 
and sleepiness. Actually, this type of tablet is made out of a Makai 
plant so I'm not sure whether it works on humans," explained Kurama 
in detail.

	"How great is the possibility? I mean the chances of it being a 
success," asked Misuko even more seriously this time. 

	"About... 40 percent." answered Kurama. "What do you want it 
for? I thought you already knew everything."

	Misuko just kept quiet. Kurama heaved a small sigh and 
retreated into his room. Minutes later, he turned up at the door 
again; this time showing a small red tablet. With her hand trembling 
slightly, she picked up the tablet from Kurama's palm.  

	"Do you really want to try it?" asked Kurama again, his voice 
showing concern. He had known that many accidents could happen... 

	Misuko didn't answer him because she was very engrossed with 
her own thoughts. She broke the tablet into half and swallowed one 
part. The another half she kept in the pocket of her slacks. Shakily, 
she said thanks to Kurama and walked back to her room.

	*What is she trying to do?* thought Kurama in awe as he looked 
at the disappearing figure.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

	Misuko reached her own room and shut the door behind her. A 
wave of dizziness hit her and she went right down to the floor. 
Voices and pictures began their assault on her consciousness. All 
types of sounds and images began streaming into her. She tried to 
muster some strength to get up again but all the energy seemed to 
drain out of her.

	*It's the tablet that is producing such side effects on me...*

	Misuko tried squeezing her eyes shut, but her gaze was met with 
a scene. The pain in her belly, her hand clutching a knife... The 
sticky warm liquid that spread slowly across her clothes... 

	It merely flashed past, but the pain was so real, so 
excruciating. 

	The smile on her face when she first met Koenma in a secluded 
corner of the garden... The hot sensation on her cheeks when she 
blushed... 

	There was no use denying the truth anymore. 

	Misuko got up again back she collapsed right on the spot. Her 
mind seemed to black out into pitch black. Before the last bit of 
consciousness went out, she managed to muster a little energy and 
called out:

	"Koenma-sama!"

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	Koenma was troubled. Was it that Misuko had changed or was it 
just himself? Koenma leaned back on the couch. Anyway, where did 
Misuko go just now? He was too tired to care. Drowsiness overwhelmed 
him. Dreams of resentment.

	After around 15 minutes, he heard a loud thud on the floor 
below him. First, he dismissed it as a hallucination, but he still 
opened his eyes and looked down. He saw Misuko lying there, all 
sprawled out.

	*Maybe I was too hard on her. By her reaction just now, I must 
have sounded very cruel...* whispered Koenma softly.

	Koenma helped Misuko to the bed by half carrying her, half 
dragging her. He opened his eyes widely and looked around for a 
blanket. He found one and covered her with it. He dragged a chair 
from the dresser and sat down beside Misuko.

	*What has she done?* Koenma thought to himself.

	*Maybe she was just sleeping.*

	Koenma tried calling her softly a few times but with no avail. 
Misuko's eyes remained shut. Koenma panicked. Misuko raised a hand to 
feel her forehead and let out a groan. Koenma sighed in relief.

	"Misuko, are you alright?" asked Koenma gently.

	"Koenma-sama, don't go away..." mumbled Misuko weakly.

	*She called me Koenma-sama! She has never called me Koenma-sama 
since that fateful day I met her in Keiko's ramen shop; but what did 
she do in order to get these memories?* thought Koenma frantically.

	Misuko was fully awake by then. Koenma looked at her lovingly.

	"What did you do? Why did you call me Koenma-sama?" asked 
Koenma quickly.

	"I have regained memories of my past." She dug in her pocket 
and showed Koenma the other half that she hadn't swallowed to Koenma.

	"I should have taken the whole tablet, but I wanted my memories 
in Ningenkai too; so only I ate half," continued Misuko.

	"Don't you know that it is very dangerous? Memory regaining 
medicine can claim lives and cause side-effects," replied Koenma 
worriedly.

	"Don't worry about me. I'm fine." Misuko said that and a wave 
of dizziness hit her. Stars swarm around in front of her eyes and she 
shook her head to clear it.

	Misuko raised an open palm to hold an oar that materialized out 
of the thin air. "I'm back now and I'll go to work as usual with you 
in the Reikai division office."

	"You're... You're back! But why? Why did you do this?"

	"I want my memories of Reikai and memories of you."

	"Thank you... Thank you for all you have done for me." said 
Koenma, his eyes shining with tears. 

	"I want you back," said Misuko. A tear already rolling down her 
face. 

	Koenma's mouth curved upwards and he wrapped his arms around 
her figure. Misuko hugged him back, enjoying memories of the past and 
the present - and maybe of the future.

	Memories were regained, and also love. 

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---THE END OF 'THE PAST - MEMORIES'---

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Copyright reserved 1998 W. Siew Lee 

All standard Yu Yu Hakusho disclaimers apply to this fanfic. 

E-mail: Siew Lee [wsiewlee@tm.net.my]
URL: http://members.xoom.com/hiei 
UIN: #14025577

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