I goofed, and sent my response just to Jeanne.  I'll do it again,
condensed.

A couple comments/corrections. Firstly, I thought his name was "Gumioka"?

According to US Manga Corps subtitling of New Files, it's Gomioka.  They
may have goofed, but I'm sticking by my source for now...

Secondly, throughout you reference Captain Shinobu, or refer to a group

of

people by their last names, with her referred to as 'Shinobu'. Her family
name is Nagumo, her given name is Shinobu.

Er, yeah... I goofed.

I also expected to see some appearance/comment by Kumagami well before

she

finally turned up. After all, Gumioka is being awarded the promotion and
assignment she turned down.

Later, I'll deal with that.  I had other things to do first.

Pretty good start. I look forward to seeing how/where you take this.

Well, I've got plans to take it all over the place... we'll see how it
turns out, though (at this point, even I don't know all of what will
happen)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Sir Desaix, member # 116 of the Knights of the True Fiancee
                             desaix@sysnet.net
    http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/7872
                           fanfics available at 
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