Calvin Masamune wrote:

Here at the Primary Center for a Healthy Anime Normalcy, we debunk all
those fanfic conspiracies that are sinister and notorious, and that you
have believed for so long.

Well, WE here at the PCHAN know better.  Which is why we bring you:

AUTHORS WHO ARE SECRETLY ALIENS.

Bad enough that we have authors who are pretending to be who they are
not--now we here at PCHAN have uncovered the truth about some of the
FFML celebrities, all of whom are secretly working on a fanfic-based
alien conspiracy.

CONSPIRATOR #1: Donny Cheng
This gentleman constantly produces fics about Ranma ending up with just
about every female in the anime universe.  Well, there is a reason for
it.  He is actually Xorgon from Vexel VI, who is capable of seeing into
all realities.  He knows all tweleve people you will be marrying in the
multiverses.  He knows the truth about Bill Clinton (who is, in truth,
Tybalt).  DO NOT BE FOOLED.  His plan is to confuse you with his various
fics into believing that Ranma can end up with anyone, and while you are
not looking, he will move the Akane from "The Bitter End" (see
conspiracy 2)and set her up as Dark Queen of the World!

CONSPIRATOR #2: Zen
Donny/Xorgon's partner in crime.  This pro-Ukyou fanatic is actually the
shapeshifter Okii Nomii from Yaki III.  He is capable of crossing
dimensional barriers and moving people at will.  DO NOT BE FOOLED.  He
is creating an army of Ukyou love slaves for his private harem.

CONSPIRATOR #3: G. L. Sandborn
We here at PCHAN believe that "Mr. Sandborn" is actually Chibi-usa,
trapped in this reality.  This thought is so dark and sinister, we will
not even continue on this path.

CONSPIRACY #4: Mark Page
We believe that Mark Page is actually Quebel from Zaphyx Minor, who
intends to brainwash us all with his collection of Sailor Moon stories.
DO NOT BE FOOLED.  Read the fics of D. B. Sommer (actually Lord Kornav
from Vega Bimami), whose fics counteract the evil brainwashing
techniques of "Mr. Page"'s

CONSPIRACY #5: Dr. Thinker
PCHAN has evidence that Dr. Thinker is the benevolent alien known as
Wegaai, from Alpha Quonis.  His purpose is to show the true believer the
absolute meaning of peace through his works of fiction.  Unfortunately,
most humans are incapable of recieving this well-hidden message.

Alien? Ha, that's a laugh! I'm not alien. I'm a 20 year-old human who
lives in American, in the mid-west state of Ohio, in the town of Akron.

That's all for now.  Tune into our next topic, when we debunk the next
rumor--John Biles: fanfic legend, or interdimensional demon?

Demon? He's just a fanfic legend. Nuff' said.

Until then, I'm heading back to my Top Secret Militia Bunker for my next
Cultaholics Anonymous meeting.
--Cal
Lord God Head of the Myth Debunkers

-- Dr. Thinker
"Prepare for trouble and make it big!". 

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