On Tue, 12 Jan 1999, Mike Noakes wrote:
Well, since this is C&C, obviously its going to have a few
spoiler.
Wot he said.
I'm not sure exactly where to start in a critique of _Bliss_,
and that is probably due to the ambivalence I feel towards the story
itself. I really want to like this story -- Bartram and Loader have
proven in the past that they work very well together, and _Ill Met by
Starlight_ probably ranks high on most readers' list of favorites -- and,
indeed, there _are_ aspects that I find great. And then there are the
parts I find less so...
Though, for the record, IMBS was written with Susan Doenime, not Lara.
The idea's great, and while the central concept isn't completely
original, it's presented in a fresh and interesting way. I've seen talk
about slapping Ranma (assuming that 'Akane' is, indeed, Ranma -- more on
that later) with amnesia and sticking him in female form, and seeing what
happens; _Bliss_ implements this in a plausible way, with Kuno (I assume)
no less, and with tantalizing hints of dark, previous events. The
storyline is a compelling one: amnesiac martial artists struggling for
survival on a desert island, with vague suggestions of Lovecraftian horror
slinking just beyond the edge of their perception.
Special guest appearance by Hastur the Unspeakable!
The characters are kept interesting, too. Kuno, in fanfiction,
usually generates the urge for rapid strikes of the 'page-down' key:
authors tend to emphazise the bad poetry and slapstick comedy of the
original, while losing the nobility/mock-nobility and ironic humor that
made him an early favorite; or he is presented far too seriously, as noble
samurai or troubled warrior, and any trace of humor is completely wiped
from the character. Bliss slides easily between both extremes, and
presents a Kuno I actually find interesting.
Lara's a good person to work with if you want an enjoyable Kuno. Just
don't try to make him say 'Zounds.'
He is kinda fun to work on, though... flawed, but with nicely intrigiuging
traits and potential merits.
The strongest scenes, in fact (and in my opinion) are those
presenting the interaction between 'Ukyou' and 'Akane' -- the authors seem
the most relaxed, and the dialogue flows the easiest, in these often
lighthearted, but funny, scenes. The construction of their island home
served as the backdrop for a lot of these, and were genuinely funny. I
wish there were more of them -- though, of course, the series isn't a
comedy, and that could compremise the seriousness of _Bliss_.
You can't, IMHO, do tragedy or drama without some comedy. Even in the
incredibly waffy IMBS ;) we had some humorous moments... most scenes with
Kuno and the infamous 'you grew tits?' scene coming to mind. A steady diet
of gloom grates on the reader, and comic relief makes the darkness all the
more intense when it closes in again.
Besides, it's the story of a relationship, and such are built on the
small, relaxed moments.
That seriousness, however, for me, brings up one of the problems
of the story. As a serious story, it embraces the tenents of realist
fiction: that is, actions of consequences, people get hurt, and there is
little guarantee that 'everyone lives happily ever after' (in fact, there
are even suggestions that at least one main character has already been
killed.) Which is fine, except that _Bliss_ then expects the reader to
make certain leaps of faith that I, personally, find a bit hard. That
these rules are suspended during the comedic scenes I accept without
problem: as in the original series, something silly can happen (ie. Kuno
falling through the floor of the suspended house) without any real
consequences. During the main storyline, however, this realism can't
simply be ignored.
I agree that realism can't be ignored... however, I contend that
successful drama historically assumes that the audience will suspend minor
points of disbelief for the purposes of a good story.
That the island bears, a la _Lord of the Pigs_, a mysteriously
self-replenishing and edible pig population, I can accept: the story makes
vague suggestions that some mysterious force maintains the islands
ecosystem.
Correct. The island is a wholy unnatural entity; the sucker doesn't, in
fact, completely exist on the same earth as we do.
But when Ukyou and Akane start building there comfy club Med,
I start wondering. A hut is certainly within the capabilities of the two
amnesiatic but ridiculously strong martial artists; but a suspended house,
tool shed, palisade, balcony, chairs, etc., as well? And giving even
that, when did they start brewing their own wine (its apparance surprised
me, becaue I somehow missed any previous reference to it -- did they find
it upon the wrecked ship or something?) and mixing their own pigments?
Maybe it's just me, but I find some of the little comforts of life that
they construct strain credulity. And all this, without once boiling a
bowl of water!
Any reasonably competent scout troop can build such a dwelling, given
time, tools, and raw materials. I've seen it done. As for pigments, heck,
_I've_ mixed my own, and I'm hardly a woodsman. Ask anyone with highly
rural ancestors how hard it is to ferment a crude alcohol.
In situations where a complex item was being constructed - the houses, etc
- the process was detailed and the amount of effort involved made clear.
Too, their labors were far from perfect - as you'll note, the house
foundation had numerous flaws, the floor collapses, etc. Building was very
much a trial-and-error business.
Consider the strength and intelligence of the two, the availability of
tools and resources, time to experiment... and I don't consider their
accomplishments to be farfetched, or even unrealistic. I can, in fact,
point to cases in RL which match or exceed theirs.
That, of course, brings up my second gripe about the story: the
identity of the two protagonists, and the efforts required to maintain the
mystery. Is it worth it? Personally, I don't think so.
I'll (obviously) disagree, for reasons given below.
I'm guessing that Ukyou is really Kuno, and Akane is really Ranma:
there are sufficient hints to support this, though evidence exists to
discredit the second guess. Kuno's a no-brainer (err, I don't mean that
as an insult against our valiant kendoist): what with the slightly formal
language (at least during the early chapters) and the stick-swinging, it
seems fairly obvious.
Kuno tends to be pegged, although I'll note that the Lost boy also uses a
sticklike weapon, and has a certain formality of speech...
'Akane' is a bit tougher. She's female, but considering everone's
favorite aquatransexual, that doesn't help much. She can swim, so that
should eliminate the real Akane. Her Japanese is good, so that could
discount Shampoo (though I understand that the Japanese manga version is
actually quite fluent); however, 'Akane''s usage of language in the
earlier chapters, her acerbic character, and extreme gymnastic and martial
abilities, again suggest Ranma. Her earlier reluctance and feelings
concerning physical contact regarding 'Ukyou' also supports this
hypothesis.
This also, btw, fits the 'real' Ukyou - Kuonji, that is.
But then, why the nicely descriptive passage in part two,
after 'Akane' slaughters her first boar, with the hot blood soaking her
shirt and pouring down her back? Blood isn't all that removed from water,
certainly it would be enough to trigger a Jusenkyou curse? Of course, if
it is Ranma (and, short of some strangely elaborate explanation, I can't
see it being anyone else), he _could_ be trapped in his cursed form.
Jusenkyo curses are activated by water. Blood is not water. They're both
wet and liquids, but the resemblance mostly ends there.
You could, I suppose, make a case for having hot blood trigger the curse -
but IMHO there's an even stronger case for the opposite.
But then, why the noticable absence of water?
Possibly because they're trapped on a deserted island? ;)
There are certain
gaps in the descriptive narrative that speak and hint as loudly as the
adjectives and images we are given. We have never been given a glimpse of
either 'Akane's' or 'Ukyou's' hair color, the clothes they landed on the
island with were discarded without being described, and not once,
ensconced within one of the protagonist's point-of-view, have we been
given an examination of the other.
Heheh. The clothes they wore were mostly burned, soaked rags and would
have revealed little. As for hair color... AIYAH, there's one hell of a
can of worms. Y'see, just what the heck is Ranma's hair color? Duh, red,
some will say. That's just a anime convention, others will confidently
assert; it's actually black. For that matter, is Ukyou's hair brown or
black? Shampoo's purple or merely a bluish-black? If we go by vaunted
'realism', then EVERYONE's hair is black - just like practically everyone
else in that area of the world.
So, you see, hair color would have revealed nothing. And their thoughts
and emotions, to me, sem of more interest than their physical appearance.
Why? Only two things can occur when a story develops this way:
either the reader figures it out early on, so that when the truth is
revealed, he/she goes, 'yeah, I know', and nothing is gained; or the
reader makes a decision and is annoyed when, through some form of
trickery or plot manipulation, he or she is revealed to be wrong in the
end. It's a personal prejudice, I guess, but I can't stand when a
character's identity is kept secret, and I dislike it even more when a
surprise twist is thrown in at the end; the prose manipulation required is
often too restrictive, heavy-handed, and conspicuous. Not that I don't
like surprise endings -- would 'The Crying Game' received any notice had
it not been for its little trick? -- but when it forces the hand of the
author so noticably and influences the writing... I wonder if it's
necessary?
Yes. Some people guessed the identities quickly; others were taken
completely by surprise. From the feedback I've gotten, they seem split
half and half. Even the correct guessers, however, had a particle of
uncertainty - you yourself do, as shown by yer disclaimer below.
This uncertainty of identity is vital to the story. It makes the
characters into blank slates, pulls the reality of the amneisa home. The
reader must see them as 'Ukyo' and 'Akane', not as Kuno and Ranma -
because they themselves are unsure. Kuno and Ranma are only possibilities,
if strong ones, and this makes the reader more apt and inclined to accept
Ukyo and Akane as themselves, and not simply deluded versions of the
actual characters.
Well, as I write this, Bliss, part VI has just popped up in my
mailbox, so I'm going to stop and go read it, hoping it doesn't utterly
contradict me and prove me a complete idiot. Whatever I find to be small
weaknesses in the story, I definately do enjoy it -- I read very little
fanfiction anymore (time restraints), but I've read all of Bliss so far.
Know how that goes. Fanfiction still produces many gems, but there's a
goodly amount of chaff to root through. Still, new authors appear all the
time, and recent comers like MacSpon, Harnum, and Towler prove that the
older denizens of the list don't have a monopoly on good pieces.
Don't know if, as C&C, this is of any use. There's been a number
of minor mistakes here and there, usually words flipped around in a
sentence, or a minor typo; but I'll leave it to more acute eyes than mine
to pick 'em out.
I'm going to shut up, now, and read part VI. I've been looking
forward to it. And then, if you want, I'll finish off this impromptu
piece of C&C...
Looking forward to hearing it, and to that of others. Lara and I are
diivying up responces.. you might not hear from us til the series is done,
which will be prolly tomorrow.
-ML
Later!
-Mike Noakes
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in what they are. A great poet, a really * * * * * * * * * *
great poet, is the most unpoetical of all creatures. But inferior poets are
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they look . . . He lives the poetry that he cannot write. The others
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