$Revision: 1.2 $
$Date: 1999/01/17 23:56:07 $

		      Damn This is Stupid Productions
				    and
			 Why Do We Bother Pictures

				  present

				The Martyr

		A spam-fiction from the world of Ranma 1/2.
				  by DaR


				    ***

Ukyou reached up for the bag of flour, trying to pull it down from the top
shelf.   She should really go out an buy some more, but right now she had
customers to serve.  Stretching up, she inched the back forward on the
wooden plank.  Just a couple more inches and she could get both hands under
it.  Right.... Whoops.

The bag tumbled down on from above crashing into her head.  Pain flare
through her skull and she stumbled back, crying out her agony.  Her heel
caught on a loose board in the floor and she went over backwards, unable
to regain her balance.  The last thing she was aware of was an additional
sharp pain on the back of her head.

				    ***

Ranma stood with Akane, Nabiki, and the others, watching helplessly as the
paramedics carried the body out to the ambulance.  He was numb.  His best
friend since childhood was dead.  Broke her own neck getting flour from a
shelf.  An expert chef and extraordinary martial artist.

"Tis a sad thing indeed," intoned Kuno, for once carrying his dignity as he
often pretended to.

Mousse nodded beside him.  "Very sad.  To die at such a young age."

Thoughtfully, Nabiki spoke, "You know, I always figured that if one of us
died, it would at least be a tragic and meaningful death.

Akane agreed, "Definitely.  Especially Ucchan.  She just had that air about
her that said, "I'm tragic." when you looked at her."

Still silent, Ranma bobbed his head.

Shampoo added, "Is not good death for spatula girl."

Her great-grandmother put her two yen in.  "Very true.  To see such
potential cut short in the prime.  She might have made an excellent
Amazon.  Such is fate."

Finally, Ranma spoke, his voice slowly rising.  "This sucks.  I'm mean
really sucks.  She got killed by a *bag of flour*!  Not a demon, or a crazy
master of the arts!

"This sucks!"

				    ***

				    fin

				    ***

There.  Another quality, or not-so-quality spam-fic, done and out the door.

Ukyou always dies a tragic death in fanfic.  Taking a blow for her fiance
or friends, dying at the hands of a rampaging villain, slowly pining away
from a broken heart or some terminal illness.  Preferably in some manner
that makes everyone re-examine their lives, their purpose, their decisions.
Especially if it's worth some tears from the reader.  Such a martyr.

Well.... not this time.

	-DaR

-- 
/* Dan Root   -   XTEA cipher */  static unsigned D=0x9E3779B9,l=0xC6EF3720,s; 
/* t=64bit text, k=128bit key */    #define m(x,y) (x<<4^x>>5)+(x^s)+k[s>>y&3] 
void enc(int*t,int*k){for(s=0;s!=+l;){t[0]+=m(t[1],0);s+=D;t[1]+=m(t[0],11);}}
void dec(int*t,int*k){for(s=-l;s==0;){t[1]-=m(t[0],11);s-=D;t[0]-=m(t[1],0);}}