[insert standard use-of-Ranmaverse disclaimers]

******

#T minus thirty seconds and counting.#

"We are here in the courtyard of Furinkan High School to witness the
first test of a new satellite launch system.  With me is Nabiki Tendo,
inventor of the system.  Miss Tendo, is it true that your system saves
money by dispensing with the rocket?"

"Look for yourself.  I only see Ranma, the tracking satellite strapped
to him, Akane, and her mallet."

"How does the system operate?"

"You'll see."

#T minus ten seconds and counting.#

"And they appear to be...talking?  Let's see if we can hear what they're
saying."

#Five.#

"Uncute..."

#Four.#

"...tomboy."

#Three.#

"Ranma..."

"What's that glow?"

#Two.#

"...no..."

#One.#

"...BAKA!"

*WHAM!*

#We have liftoff!#

"And there you have it.  Of course, we're not yet sure whether a
satellite's delicate systems can survive that; that's one of the things
we hope to test."

"Miss Tendo, do you have anything to say about the rumors that this
ability is the result of mutant genes in your family?"

"No comment."

"Or of the rumors that you're planning to sell your sister into
slavery for the space program?"

"..."

"Err, I'll take that as a no."

"...no BAKA!"

*WHAM!*

"Oww...this is Miss Honda, reporting from...orbit?"