And there was much rejoicing
-A Tenchi Spamfic
by Shade


Once upon a time there was an evil pedophile.

One day this most evil pedophile decided to visit the
house of one Tenchi Masaki.

Upon breaking into the house the reviled one 
grabbed the cute and innocent Princess Sasami
of Jurai. So intent on the doing of vile deeds
was he that the pedophile forgot that the Princess
was not the only one in the house.

A fact that was immediately made clear when Azaka 
and Kamidake proceeded to capture him in their 
forcefield and bombard him with 10,000 Gigawatts
of electricity.

The quite singed pedophile managed to stumble outside,
where Ryoko and Ayeka were waiting, having come to a
temporary truce.

Ayeka summoned her royal forcefield and demonstrated how 
to make a naughty tentacle attack on a male.

Ryoko settled for good old fashioned high intensity
energy beams.

The now rather beaten and much burned pedophile then
discovered that Ryo-ohki was rather peeved at him for 
attacking her friend when she appeared overhead in her
battleship mode and let loose a full broadside.

A Giant Tanuki Statue that crushed the mangled 
pervert a moment later let him know that Little Washu
wasn't pleased either.

Tenchi summoned forth the Wings of the Light Hawk
and got medieval what was left of the pedophile.

When Mihoshi finally arrested him the remains
of what had once been a abnormal human being 
started thanking his lucky stars, believing 
that the hurting would stop.

That stopped when the Detective First Class
accidently shot him with her giant laser bazooka.

Whimpering in agony the much abused pedophile 
wondered how things could get any worse.

That's when he found out that he was being sent to 
Funaho and Misaki, Sasami's mother.

And the one soon to be experiencing a fate much
worse then death started to scream and scream.

And there was much rejoicing.

-The End

Disclaimer: The Tenchi OAVs are Pioneer's. Everything else goes.

~~~~~~~
Now this is no longer considered Spam because I have a Fic in it!

Now I can get down to business, namely responding to these responses.

*Sigh* Another one. Does it ever hurt to be as ignorant as you? 

<Rowan enters>

Rowan: No, but I'm sure you could tell us.

No...no... I won't throw stones, and lower myself to your level. 

Sorry, you're on a level below me.

I will be the first to admit that this piece of writing is crap... and

deserves to be MSTed... however, you did so for the wrong reason!

I needed a reason to MST this piece of garbage?

Yelling at this person for bad grammer, sure that's all good... 

Rowan: In that case we'd have to yell at you.

but yelling at them because you think they are pedophilic is another >story. 

And your point is?

Just who are you accusing? 

I wish I knew.

Do you know the author of this fanfic?

See above.

Sasami was the closest in age to myself at the time I wrote it...

What planet are you from?

anyone who once accused me of such a hideous crime understands when they
hear that. 

Rowan: Not us!

After all, I'm the victim, right?

No, you're the one who won't take responsibility for your actions.

I become the one who was influenced wrongly by the evil Japanese Anime. 

Rowan: 1. Anime is not evil
       2. That's the same BS used by criminals and pyschoanalysts
       3. Why did you watch it in the first place then?

Another point I like to make, is have you seen Pretty Sammy....

No but I have the Mihoshi special.

Looks awefully pedophilic in nature to me... 

The only thing I object to was the transformation scene. 

smattering of incest here and there.

But Yosho never did marry Ayeka. He decided to go chase after Ryoko.

My final point

Rowan: What were the other ones?

no publicity is bad publicity...

No it's not.

Thanks to *you* I had to see the pedophilic material you so blatently
despise. Why? Why, if you hate it so, would you repost the damn thing?! 

Because it's much more fun to make a mockery of its original intentions and
this is a perfectly valid way to make a statement. Not to mention this the
only way to ensure that the really disgusting bits can be edited out. 

Why not just write a nasty letter to the author...

That's called flaming.

or post a public announcment, without the original content included? 

That's called a good way to get kicked off the FFML.

Same goes for those who MSTed my Sasami lemon... I agree,
it's wonderful MST material... the writing sucks...

Rowan: No argument here.

I was 14, give me a break. However, me getting bashed 
over it because it involves Sasami is such a load of
horsecrack. 

Hello, I'm from Earth. Where are you from?

yet, no one seems to mind when Shinji is done by Misato...
or Kaji finally lands Asuka... it's all illegal in this
country to write about by the letter of the law...
but no one says a word.

Argueably it can be said that in Eva they are of consenting age.
the destruction of most of the world would probably result
in a change in the laws seeing as so many people got wiped out.

Sasami gets some, and *bam*, you'd think WWIII had just begun. 

Rowan: THAT'S BECAUSE SHE HASN'T EVEN HIT PUBERTY YET!!!!

Calm down.

Rowan: Sorry, had to get that out of my system.

Let me state this for the record. The current Sasami is neither
physically, mentally, or emotionally mature enough to "get some"
as you so crudely put it. Freud's theories carry no water here! 

I hope this teaches you something outside that
circle you've enclosed yourself in.

And what have we learned?

Rowan: That PM is the one in a circle, between his head and his a..

Don't finish that.

Rowan: I couldn't resist.

I think you should check who's really in a circle.

I'm sure I'll hear from you soon, 
  PMasters 

You'd be right on that.

~~~~~~~~
Next response. Ah..didn't even bother to name themselves.
 
Rowan: A perv by any other name....is still a perv.

  Shade-kun, get over it.

Don't call me that. 

  Since Sasami is linked to Tsunami, techncially 
she is hundreds of thousands of years _OLDER_ than
Tenchi! 

Rowan: WRONG!!! SASAMI IS NOT TSUNAMI YET!!! 
       SHE IS STILL A LITTLE GIRL!!! TIME SPENT IN 
       CRYOSTASIS DOESN'T COUNT!!!!

I take it that tihs one wasn't paying attention to episode 9 very well.

  Think about it, Shade-kun. 

I said DON"T call me that.

~~~~~~~
Who's this from?

Rowan: Someone calling themself DreshAshman

Personally I don't read lemons but I do pay attension to rants.
If lemons offend you don't read them. It's that simple.
Additionally this particular issue is really stupid because
in the OAV Sasami is around 700 years old. 
  DreAshaman 

But she is STILL a child. CRYOSTASIS is a state of suspended animation, you
don't age...blah blah blah.

Rowan: In other words check your logic!

~~~~~
-Shade

*$*$*$*$*$*

 Nabiki stared at the screen, a look of 
horror on her face. "Our lives depend on  
Ranma proving that we're civilized enough 
to join a galactic society. We're doomed." 

-The Bet "Illegal Aliens in Nerima" 

"Could you please not eat my gun!" -Mihoshi

The girl smiled. "Welllll... Do you remember Yu-chan?"
        Ranma thought back to the days when he was a young scrapper.  "Yeah, we used to play together, me an' Yu-cha--" Ranma's eyes bugged out with shock. "Oh no! You aren't..."

 "SURPRISE!! It's me, Yu-chan!" the girl squealed.
 "YU-CHAN!!" Ranma's eyes bugged out. "Didn't I have         ANY male childhood friends?!"

-Expansion Card v2.0

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