<Cont. from part 1>.

Sasami smiled as she closed the door to Washuu's sub-space room. 

Bard: (From behind his covered eyes) Is it over?

Shadow: (Peeks) I think so.

She felt much better now than she had in a long time. 

Guardian: Danger! Danger!! Hentai tone detected!

Washuu was just great.

<All>: AAAAAARGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!

Incredible, even.  She had very carefully and quietly
explained all about sex and growing up to the young 
princess, in words that she could understand and a 
soothing voice.

All: (Megablink)

All: Whew! 

She was a great teacher. 

Guardian: Uh oh.....

Sasami was no longer afraid of the changes 
taking place in her body.  She knew for sure 
that what was happening was natural and 
normal, and she kind of had an idea what to 
expect as she continued to blossom. 

Shadow: Of course realizing that it is going to take awhile first!

It was okay now, and she knew it was true, 
because the smartest lady in the universe had told her so.

Sasami had then asked Washuu if she was actually too
young to be going through this. But no, she had learned, 
she was not, 

Bard: What a load of......

Guardian: What did the author do with the real Sasami?! 

<Shadow eye starts twitching>

She said that the Juraian coming-of-age ceremony at the age
of 25 was not nessessarily the right time for everybody to
start having sex.  She said it was an immaginary age that
grownups used for a reference point, that it had to do with
how old someone needed to be in order to have kids, and also
it had to do with how mature the adults thought their children
had to be in order to live responsibly. 

Bard: Welcome to the pedophile�s version of history and Juraian customs.

(At this point the Guardian gets desperate and starts
 trying to destroy the fic)

Unforunately for the trio, this is a Washu-chan invention. 

<All>: DAMN!!!

Get back to the fic.

The point was, despite jurian standards, it was not
wrong or unnatural for her or her big sister to be
experiencing this before the age of 25.

Guardian: ITS WRONG AND UNNATURAL FOR SASAMI TO BE EXPOSED TO THIS!!!
(Starts raving in anger)

Bard: Must..not...go...stark...raving...mad.....

It was almost time for her to feed her latest
Earthling TV addiction, Pikachu.

Guardian: AAAARRGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!

Shadow: Looks like he snapped.

(Rowan�s voice): One down, two to go.

Bard: Help me!!!!

(... or was it called Pokemon?  shit... I need to
start getting up early... can you believe they put
it on at 5 am!?  This is exactly what happened with
Dragon Ball Z.  They CAN'T put it on in the afternoons,
NOOOOO, THAT spot goes to Samurai Pizza Cats, of all

 childrens anime!!!)

Shadow: You can kiss the fourth wall goodbye now.

The commercial she happened to flip onto was advertising skin.
 No, strike that, it was actually advertising a heath club.  

Shadow: What�s the difference?

But there was so much skin filling the screen, and it belonged 
to so many attractive people, that Sasami could barely see parts 
of the health club.

Guardian: ..........deh..........evil.....

Bard: You can�t leave us like this! Are you a man or a mouse?!

Guardian: squeek squeek!

Bard: That�s not funny!!!

Sasami squirmed as she pressed her legs together, trying
to ignore the juices as they squelched from their hiding place. 

Bard: Take the bottle out from between your knees. Problem solved.

Shadow; You actually avoided a hentai riff? I�m starting to worry.

Bard: I can�t keep this up much longer.....

"I forgot to ask Washuu what to do about this..." she sighed sadly.

Shadow: I CAN�T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!!! 

(Shadow�s aura appears again and goes from cold blue to fiery red, expanding
to form the image of a giant winged dragon)

Shadow: RAGING MEGA-FLARE!

(The Dragon�s mouth releases a blazing cone of energy toward the fic)

*BOOM*

Shadow: (Panting from exhaustion)

(Rowan from the control room): That wasn�t smart.

Guardian: THE FIC�S OVER HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Bard: YES!!!!!

(Rowan): Nope, all he did was blast away most of the
 non-hentai material right before the....big....pardon
 the pun....climax to this piece of garbage.

<All> NOOOOOOOO!!!!! DAMN YOU ROWAN!!!!

"Sasami, does that happen, um... often to you?"

Bard: (Sasami) No, only in crappy lemons.

"Oh, no," Sasami said, "It's just today that it's
been really bad for the first time. 

Guardian: No.......more....double...meanings.....

Shadow: The Shatner syndrome is spreading.

I had a talk with Washuu, though, so it's okay... I
know what's going on..." she looked up at Tenchi 
innocently.  "I forgot to ask her how to stop it, though..."

Bard: PLEASE!!! DON�T GO THERE!!!!

Tenchi tried not to smile at the look on her face, then he
tried to smile reassuringly, then he tried to stop smiling
because he was worried it would just look like a stupid 
grin after all that thought beforehand about how it would
look.  It turns out he needn't have worried, for the
animators drew all three expressions the same way.

"Come with me," Tenchi said, taking her gently by the hand.
"I can show you how to get some releif..."

<All>: (OoO)    WHAT?!!!!!!!!

Bard: It�s a pod person!!!!

Shadow: KILL!!!!!!!!

Guardian: I can�t believe I�m saying this.....DITTO!!!!!!!!!!!

Sasami's ears turned bright red as she let Tenchi
lead her to his room. 

<All>: NOOOO!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Umm... okay..." she said, feeling like she was floating.

O_O!

Bard: Oh, NOW YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU JUST DID!!!!

Sasami left Tenchi's room feeling more relaxed than she had in days.

<All>: (Catatonic)

"That was just incredible, Tenchi,"  she told him as she
prepared dinner that evening.  "And your Grandpa taught you that?"

<All>: OH GODS IT GETS WORSE!!!!

"Yes," Tenchi said, "It always helps me whenever I feel...
erm... that way."

Guardian: Please let it be something that does not
          involve anything starting with S or M.

Shadow: Or both.

Sasami smiled brightly.  Tenchi had taught her a meditation
technique that relaxed her and cleared her mind of dirty
thoughts. Now she knew what she could do whenever her 
fantasies became too strong for her.

<All>: (Sigh in relief)

"Thank you, Tenchi," she said, giving him a light
kiss on the cheek.

Shadow: You know I�m getting a sneaking suspicion that
        something�s not right here.

------=<B

<All>: Quit drooling you pervert!

Sasami brushed her teeth.  She changed into a nightgown.
She said the prayers appropriate to whatever religion she is.  

Shadow: The fic ended.

Guardian: Stop giving us false hope.

Bard: Almost...finished....must...hang...on...

(Christian? Buddhist?  Shinto?  Something Jurian?
Self-worship because she's Tsunami???)  She made her 
sister's sleeping mat for her, just in case
she felt like going to bed right away after her
two-hours-and-counting bath.  

In other words, Sasami was getting ready for bed.

<All>: Gee we didn't know that already!

Suddenly, there was a horrible screeching noise.

Shadow; The horrible reshaping of reality by the fic 
        could no longer be handled and the story
        shattered into a million pieces.

Bard: Ayeka found out who wrote this and let the
      whip start cracking.

Guardian: That was the sound of our sanity snapping.

 Sasami had no idea what it could be, it sounded 
like a car with a broken police siren slamming on
its breaks while running over a group of very loud cats,
except it happened slower and lasted a lot longer
than such a noise really would, if it had happened.

<All>: Oh, it's just Ranma meeting Ryo-ohki for the first time.

Curious, Sasami peeked out of the window, only to
find Ryo-ohki standing on the roof. She was naked,
in older humanoid-girl form, and stood staring up 
at the stars, with tears running down her cheeks slowly. 

<All>: OH NO!!!

Before Sasami could say anything, Ryo-ohki made the sound again.

"Ryo-ohki!  What's wrong?"  

Guardian: (Ryo-ohki) I've been put in this lemon too!!!

Sasami asked.  Ryo-ohki pouted and turned
her head to look at Sasami, then looked back
up at the night sky.

"Oh," Sasami said, realizing, "You miss Ken-ohki, don't you?"

"Miyaa..."  The older girl nodded sadly, and stepped inside
the window to be with her Sasami.

<All>: BLEAHHH!!!!

Sasami sighed.  Ryo-ohki didn't strike her as the type
that would be able to meditate well.  Suddenly Sasami 
had an idea of what might cheer Ryo-ohki up.

Bard: No way!!! Not that!!!!

"I know," Sasami said, "I saw Aieka doing this once and
it cheered her up..."  

Shadow: Throwing darts at a picture of Ryoko isn't going to help.

Sasami walked over to Aieka's underwear drawers,

Guardian: I'm in pain right now....

and carefully removed something from the very bottom 
without disturbing anything.  It was about a foot long,
bright pink, and was made of smooth, slick rubber.
It had a slight buldge at one end and a switch on it.

<All>: Oh Shit....

this was annother one of the things Sasami had not
asked Aieka about, but now she had a pretty good
idea what it was used for.

Bard: All in favor of killing this author?

<All>: AYE!!!

Shadow: All opposed?

(???): Neigh!

<All> WHO???

(Turning they see the one that gave Artemis Nightmares)

<All>: AAAAA!!! KILL IT!!!!

(The trio proceed to vent their fustrations on the
 Unholy one and flush the remains down the toilet.) 

Ryo-ohki looked down at the thing and then back at Sasami.
"Miyaa...?" she said, a look of intense curiosity on her face.

Shadow: (Ryo-ohki translated) So I hit the author over
                              the head with this?

Sasami smiled.  "You can go use it in the spare room,"
she said, "nobody's using it right now."

Ryo-ohki phased through the wall and left quickly to try
the strange device out.  Moments later, Sasami heard the
cabbit making noises similar to the ones Aieka had made. 

Bard: spew.......*FREAKS OUT*

(Rowan): And then there was one....

It certianly sounded a lot better than the noises she
had made on the roof.  After about twently minutes
of this, the sounds died down.  Sasami smiled.
She was glad she couldc help Ryo-ohki feel better.

Shadow: I'm not going to be feeling better for a long time....

A few minutes later, a grey blur wisked in through the door
and under Sasami's covers.

Shadow: Erk.....

 Sasami giggled as it crawled up to the pillow.

Shadow: .......no.....

She kissed the little furry cabbit on the nose,

Shadow:....a.gh......

and went to sleep, and her dreams that night were peaceful ones.

THE END.

<Bard & Guardian>: PRAISE KAMISAMA!!! IT'S OVER!!!!

(Rowan appears with Washu-chan)

Rowan: So how was it?

<Bard & Rowan>: The only reason why we're not going to kill you
                is that the author had intelligence to not put 
                Sasami in an actual act of carnal activity.

Washu-chan: Say...What about Shadow here....Hmmm...

(Waves her hand in front of him......Shadow doesn't blink)

Washu-chan: Looks like he's unconscious.

Rowan: Remember this, next time it'll be much much worse.

(The Bard gets in the crouch of the Wild Tiger)

Washu-chan: And now for your physicals!

Guardian: eep!

*$*$*$*$*$*

Author's notes: Surprised? I did say that this would be
                a bad lemon, I just didn't say how bad 
                it would be. But Sasami Lemons are still
                EVIL!!! 

Disclaimer: Yadda Yadda Yadda. If you don't understand 
            that use a Universal translater!

-Shade

*$*$*$*$*$*

 Nabiki stared at the screen, a look of 
horror on her face. "Our lives depend on  
Ranma proving that we're civilized enough 
to join a galactic society. We're doomed." 

-The Bet "Illegal Aliens in Nerima" 

"Could you please not eat my gun!" -Mihoshi

The girl smiled. "Welllll... Do you remember Yu-chan?"
        Ranma thought back to the days when he was a young scrapper.  "Yeah, we used to play together, me an' Yu-cha--" Ranma's eyes bugged out with shock. "Oh no! You aren't..."

 "SURPRISE!! It's me, Yu-chan!" the girl squealed.
 "YU-CHAN!!" Ranma's eyes bugged out. "Didn't I have         ANY male childhood friends?!"

-Expansion Card v2.0

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