Foreward: "Swing and a miss! Strike one!"
So here we are again. Me telling you the background of the
stories I'm using, and you waiting for me to shut up and get on with it.
I'll make this quick and painless.
For anyone who hates 'self insertion' fics, be forewarned, this
is one. If on the other hand, you enjoy seeing the new guy wander around
aimlessly and get pounded, you may like this one.
This story is (like all of mine) a fragment of a MUCH bigger
storyline I'm working on. Don't be surprised if you've never heard of
Magnor, Dark Lightning or Sigil before, because they are all mine (and
copyrighted). Also, because of how my storyline is set up, I show up
quite often. Call it the last shreds of an ego's desperate attempt at
self-preservation.
On to the credits! The original idea of this story was stolen
outright from Gary Keeple, who (opon finding out my plans) agreed to
give me a shot (and not prosecute). His story was "Megmasama, Maska?" I
belive, and easily a great fic. I recommend you check it out (website at
the bottom). Most of the setting is soley Ranma 1/2 and as such, the
property of Rumiko Takashi. There are various cameos, who are owned by
their owners. May she put out a Ranma 1/2 Neo (BWAHAHAHAHAH)! Also some
of the credit goes to Dragons of the Coast, formerly TSR, Blizzard
Software for helping to create one of my many villains, Dr Suess's "Oh,
the Places You'll Go!" for moral support,
and Lance Cunningham, for helping me refine my characters and storyline.
By the way, single quotes (') denote someone's thoughts.
Enough with the Foreward! Let's get on with it!
Pyros
Part 1: Setup
By Lucas "Lone Wolf" Scarpati
In the depths of the darkest pits of Hell, there stands a
castle, surrounded on all sides by a city whose buildings looks like
little more than refuse. The castle itself looks like little more than
jagged knives of Twilightstone ripping up into the black-red sky, a
common appearance in hell. But it is far more. This stone ciditel houses
one of the most destructive forces throughout the entire Multiverse,
perhaps even beyond. That force is known and feared throughout the whole
of the entire Hell superspace.
That force is also bored out of its wits.
"There is nothing to do here!" Came the roar from the hallway as
a massive muscular, 9"10' demon storms through a doorway. His head is
adorned with twin horns blacker than the nothing itself. His skin is
redder than a bloodwood immediately after watering. His taloned hands
could easily snap titanium into pieces. He's not happy. A nervous
skeletal aid follows close by.
"I-I-I'm s-s-s-s-sorry sir, b-b-but with the Taneri in hiding,
the blood war is at an end! Th-th-that was what you h-h-h-had reserved
the day for." The aid peeps.
The demon stops and fixes his gaze on the skeleton. The demon's
eyes glowed with a very dangerous red as he glares down at the deathly
frightened collection of bones. "I KNOW," the demon takes a breath and
composes itself, "But that does nothing to take care of the current
situation. Perhaps I should try to take up my 'sculpting' again, eh
Kel-mot?"
Kel-Mot gulps, or tries too. The last time his Lord worked on
his 'art', his last aid was found in pieces, grotesquely misformed, even
for an Abomination. And even now, five years later, they still haven't
found all of poor Glup's body. "Uh...uh...uh..." he replies with nerve
shaking confidence.
The demon smiles, revealing row after row of teeth designed to
rip flesh from bone as though it were tissue paper. 'It's good to know
you can keep the servants in line with just a few threats. Pity about
Glup, but he served his purpose.' It suddenly looks away with a look of
concentration etched on his disturbing face. "What?"
Kel-Mot starts to panic. "Sir, um... that is, see... maybe..."
The lord of the Castle ignores him, which just scares Kel-Mot
all the more. Kel-mot falls to the floor, groveling, and pleading for
forgiveness. "Please Sir! Don't take up your sculpting again! I'll be
good! I'll start a war right away!"
The demon smiles. A disturbance across the whole of superspace.
'Something's up. Something BIG. Perhaps this day isn't a total waste...'
He kicks Kel-Mot in the face. The skeleton falls back, scared and
confused. His master glares at him. "Prepare the Gateway for the
following co-ordinates. 32,89,10,80-27,92bs. And get Demon Knight here
quickly." The skeleton scrambles to achieve it's tasks.
The teleports to his throne room. Sitting down in his living
chair (and ignoring the usual howls of agony that result) he frowns in
concentration. 'What would be so reckless in it's Planeshifting? An
incarnate? Not likely. A technology based gate? No, D.O.M. used those
and there was no ripple at all. A god perhaps?' He smiles. 'Yes... a new
rather immature god, but a god non the less.' His grin gets wider.
'Perhaps it's time to remind the Gods of one of my nicknames...
Godslayer.'
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
In an entirely different part of Superspace, a completely
different scene is going on.
A boy no more than 16 sits before a desk. The desk is made of
two main parts; three shelves and the actual desk part. On the desk is a
computer with no real discernible marks, a monitor from Dell, and
malformed keyboard. The screen depicts a scene of two races fighting.
Neither can be made out clearly, but one race is kicking serious butt.
"No, no, NO, NO!! $^@$%#$^@#$^#%^* ALKARI! RAAAAGH!! I HATE THAT
DAMN RACE!!!" screams the teenage boy before he starts pounding his head
into a keyboard. This gets old real quick so looks at the screen again.
On it, a Bird-like humanoid is beating the shit out of another humanoid
with a big head and four arms. The word Loser is pasted across the
background. "Stupid Alkari..." The boy reaches over to the computer and
turns it off.
He turns around. In addition to the standard amount of zits, the
boy is wearing some fairly thick glasses, a striped shirt and a pair of
jean shorts. The boy himself is hardly intimidating. Short dull hair
blocks most of his forehead, his eyes have a continual tired look to
them, and he's about as muscular as a tubesock filled with oatmeal. A
very light amount of hair is covering his chin and upper lip, which just
seems to accent the overall defeated expression.
The boy looks around his room, taking in his decorations.
Posters adorn every wall. Some paintings mostly from a fantasy-like
decorum hang with almost shame. He shakes his head and walks over to a
dresser. Brushing off the top layer of papers and stuff, he digs until
he finds an alarm clock. He fiddles with it, presses a few buttons and
sets it down. The boy then takes of his shirt (which helps to prove the
tubesock filled with oatmeal analogy) and jumps into bed. Pulling his
sheet over him he rolls over, mumbles something, and falls asleep.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Somewhere in-between worlds, there is a place composed of pure
thought. This is where dreams are real and reality is the dream. It is
the land of creation and stories conceived by various beings throughout
the cosmos.
The boy is here. "What the...? I know this place..." comes his
the sound of his voice, faint and unsure.
"PERHAPS. THIS IS AFTER ALL THE LAND WHERE DREAMS MEET REALITY."
comes a feminine, forceful, and loud voice.
The two beings on this plane are not alone. Something lies
hidden in the mists. Something powerful enough to block out a goddess'
senses. Something waiting.
The boy turns around, confusion etched on his face. "Who are
you? Where am I?"
"MY NAME IS OF NO CONSEQUENCE TO YOU. AS TO WHERE YOU ARE... YOU
COULD NOT HOPE TO UNDERSTAND." the last bit was 'said' with almost a
smile.
A lightbulb appears over the boy's head. "Wait... I remember
this!"
"?"
"You're that Goddess from Megmasama Maska, right?" he says
pointing at nothing in particular.
"UM... YEAH. HOW'D YOU KNOW?"
"I read the story."
"HE WROTE A STORY ON IT? DID HE INCLUDE ME?"
"Yeah... otherwise I couldn't know who you are, now could I?"
"... WELL, SINCE YOU KNOW THE STORY, YOU MUST KNOW WHAT I WANT.
PERHAPS I SHOULD TAKE ON A FORM YOU WOULD KNOW."
"Nah, I know how you god-types dislike mortal form. Besides," he
says with a smile, "to gaze upon your loveliness would most likely kill
me." His voice shifted into a Shakespearian accent for the last line. A
BAD Shakespearian accent.
There's a pause, and then a much angrier voice speaks, "YOU MEAN
THAT YOU THINK I'M UGLY?" the last word spoken with venom.
The boy pales, realizing just how badly he messed up. "NO! I
mean that after seeing you... I'd probably never be happy with normal
women again."
Another pause, then a laugh, "From what I know of you... you
never were." comes a voice from behind him.
He turns to face... "Lina Inverse?"
"Of course. Since you couldn't stand my 'Godlike beauty', I
decided that this form would be appropriate. Now then Lucas, lets get
down to business."
Lucas looks at her strangely, then blinks, "Huh? Oh yeah! Lets see, you
want me to enter another universe, Ranma 1/2?" Lina nods, "And try to
'fix' it, right?"
"Yes."
"Okay... but on the following terms." Lina raises an eyebrow.
"One, no mermaids flesh. Two, aside from teaching me japanese, no new
tricks. And I go in as is."
"Why?"
"I'm curious if I could actually do it. Survive in the Ranmaverse."
"You are very demanding for a mortal. You know, I could just force
you into another world, or see how long you'd last in one of the
Robotech wars." the last bit said with a smile.
"You do, and your bosses are sure to notice. Somehow I doubt
that they'd enjoy having to chat with you again. I bet you'd dislike it
even more." replies Lucas offhandedly.
"How did you--?" replies the goddess-in-Lina clothing, agast.
"You are obviously in charge of dreams, or else you'd be caught
and probably striped of your power for trespassing. You also are
changing dreams to entertain yourself. Using your job for pleasure is
fine, but ignoring it is bad. Did I miss anything?" says Lucas with a
Nabiki-esque smile.
"..." replies the goddess smartly.
"Do we have a deal?" says Lucas, pressing the advantage. After
glaring at Lucas, Lina nods. The figure in the mists draws closer. It
seems to be smiling.
'I rather like this brat. He could prove rather... amusing,'
"Great! Give me one second." Lucas holds out his hand,
concentrates and a beat up old backpack appears in it. "I love this
place!" He slings the pack over one shoulder and faces Lina. "Ready."
Lina grumbles something about "that damn union" an gestures at
Lucas. A portal opens behind him, and proceeds to suck him in. Just
before Lucas falls in, the figure lying in wait attacks. The being moves
to fast for either to see, but the goddess senses it. The unknown blur
slams right into Lucas' head.
He screams in pain as he falls in the portal. The glowing bluish
gray hole seals up and the goddess is left alone with her thoughts.
'What the hell was that?'
'Maybe this wasn't such a good idea... Janus was very strict the
last time I tried this... and that strange sense around the boy... it
was like he was ... incomplete, missing part of his soul.'
'What was that thing? The only time I'd ever seen anything like
it was during the history lessons, about the second war between Heaven
and Hell. That would make it... no, no it couldn't be. A demon I
would've sensed a mile away. Then... what was it?'
For the first time since her last trial, the goddess was really
scared. Whatever that... thing was, it could block out a Level 20
Goddess's senses. That meant it was old, and incredibly powerful. If it
was evil... that universe would be mulch.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The path he fell through was bluish, but Lucas did not see it.
All he felt was some...thing in his mind eating away at his memories,
his dreams, his identity.
Lucas didn't see the path's opening, nor did he see where he
landed. All he saw was water. All he felt was an incredible burning
sensation around his whole body. Seemingly of it's own will his body
shot out of the water, landing in a heap on the ground. The last thing
he thought before he fell unconscious was, 'At least it could be worse.'
Something in his mind assured him that it could not. Then all faded to
blackness.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The guide saw the whole thing. Another portal had opened up,
like the ones those strange Japanese people kept using. Then some boy
had fallen out of the portal, and straight into a pond.
Before the boy even hit the water, the guide was already
running. Gliding with practiced ease between the springs, he came to the
spring the boy had fallen in and blanched. "Oh-no sir! This not good at
all!" he reached down and plucked up the small reddish-orange bird at
his feet and ran back to the hut.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
When Lucas came to, he saw the inside of a shack. A beaten down
hut. A chubby man in a green suit was busy making tea. Lucas tried to
ask him what was going on. All that came out was a bird cry.
The chubby guy turned to face Lucas. Lucas didn't notice, he was
to busy being shocked. 'A bird cry? What happened to me? Waitaminute.
Who am I? Why is a bird cry a bad thing? What the hell is going on?!?'
The chubby man threw hot water at Lucas. Next thing Lucas knew,
he had collapsed into the ground (fully clothed, with backpack and all).
Lucas shot an angry glare at the guide, then a curious one. 'I know this
man...'
The Guide, on the other hand, was busy trying to explain what
had happened. However, Lucas, looking caucasian and having no real idea
what his origins were at the moment, and the guide being REALLY
distressed and having not known English, Lucas had absolutely no idea
what the Guide was trying to say.
"Oh sir! You fall into very bad spring! Is Spring of Drowned
Phoenix! Whoever fall in take form of Phoenix! And if you change again,
you stuck that way!" came the Guide's usual commentary. Lucas just
stands there looking blankly at him.
"What?" replies Lucas smartly, baffled by this weirdo's alien
lingo.
"What? What language you speaking sir?"
Half an hour latter both parties got sick of this (Actually, the
Guide did. Lucas was still trying to get an English/Japanese answer out
of him when the guide punted him into orbit.).
"Stupid tourist." mumbles the guide as he heads back to his hut.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Lucas was in lower Earth orbit, enjoying the view immensely,
when something told him this was bad.
'Hmm... somethin's wrong here... let's see... I'm really high
up, looking down at the ground... is it coming closer? Maybe it wants to
say hello!'
"Hi Ground!!"
The something groaned.
"Hey ground, you don't have to come so fast, I mean... could you
slow down just a little?" The ground sped up.
Right before Lucas slammed into the ground, the something got
another message through. It read: You're going to die, you idiot!!!
'That would be bad.' he thought as his face plowed the ground.
Fortunately, he was saved by Takashi rule number 57: No one ever
dies in Ranma 1/2. Not even self-inserts. Unless they're lynched. Of
course, he didn't consider it that fortuitous, leaving most of his face
five feet back in the new trench he dug.
At this point, Lucas thought sleep would be good. He didn't
really know why, but something told him sleep would be good. And it WAS
right about the ground.
As Lucas went to 'nappy-land' the something took over. His body
got up and looked around. 'Hmm... China.' Lucas' eyes turned to the
trench. 'Ow. Bet that stung.' His hand went to his face, and touched his
cheek. 'Yep. It hurt him quite a bit. Better take care of this...' The
hand glowed, and the flesh healed.
"Interesting... this land has a 50% conductivity rate. Not bad.
That IS enough for most energy attacks... I wonder..." Lucas points at a
nearby tree. His eyes glow blood red. "Gometivus...INFUERMAUS!!!" A
column of black flame, 20 feet in diameter engulfs the tree.
"Infuermaus... NEGETEO." The
fire dies out. The tree is gone. No ash, no dust, nothing. Just gone.
"Excellent."
-=-=-=-=-=-
The next morning, Lucas gets up and stretches. "Hmm... I'm
hungry."
He looks around. A small black pig with a yellow bandanna
waddles into vision range. That is to say 5 feet. He looks at it with
hunger etched in his eyes. "Mmmm... unprocessed sausages..."
P-Chan (who else could it be?) jumps away from the crazed Gyjin,
and starts running as fast as his little pig feet can take him. Lucas
runs after him. Despite the fact that Ryoga's little pig legs are a
whole mess shorter than a human's, and despite the fact that Ryoga has
no sense of direction, Lucas still can't catch him. Perhaps this is due
to the fact he trips every five seconds.
'Hmmm... this isn't working.' Lucas leaps at P-Chan, who simply
sidesteps it. The clumsy one then falls face first onto a highway.
Fortunately, this being the middle of nowhere, heavy traffic is not a
concern. In fact, the only concern on Lucas' mind is what he should do
about the large bus about to hit him.
'Oooh... pretty paintjob...'
Maybe not. Anyway, the bus smashes into him, knocking him a good ten
feet through the air, before he lands and digs yet another trench with
his head. However, Takashi Rule number 57 saves him yet again. Then it
starts complaining about it's back and goes home.
Meanwhile (following the previous pattern) the mysterious something
that most of you have probably placed as that demon whose name I
wouldn't give takes control of Lucas' body again (no, this is not an
Edding's Fic!) and then proceeds to blow the bus into it's
component atoms. Takashi Rule number 57 then runs out and starts
screaming at the Something.
"You !*$@$%&%^@#! How many !@#%&*( times did I save your !@#%in hide!
Are you trying to get me fired?!?" T.R. #57 screams at the Something.
The Something simply blows him to atoms.
"There will be no more Takashi Rules throughout the rest of this story
pertaining to the stoppage of Death, destruction, or mayham. I am very
serious about this, Narrator." Said the
idoitic Somethi--OW! OKAY! OKAY!
"Good." the Something- "Oh, just tell them my name already." FINE.
MAGNOR gestures at P-Chan (who upon seeing the Bus get blown up, did
what any self respecting martial artist would do if faced with immianate
destruction. Run like hell). P-Chan suddenly stops, and floats over to
Magnor.
'Let me go you crazy superpowered Gyjin! Hold it... superpowered Gyjin?
Oh NO! IT'S A SELF-INSERT!!!' all this runs though Ryoga's mind as he
floats over to Magnor.
Magnor causually flicks P-chan on the side of the head, knocking him
out. "Now, now. we can't deprive Akane of her pet, now can we?" Magnor's
eyes glow red, and he vanishes.
-=-=-=-=-=-
Addendum:
Okay, this is the only part of Pryos that has anything whatsoever to do
with Gary's fic. Future parts will be writen if I get at least one yea
for every twenty nays, and will feature various other characters, like
Kei and Yuri (The Dirty Pair). It will also have a few other... tie-ins
to various other stories.
If you liked this fic (or hated it, or don't really give a damn one way
or the other) E-mail me! Actually, I'd prefer it if you had a problem
with it, and E-mailed me so I could fix it, but earned praise will
always be apreaciated. Don't feel constrained by my new status as a
writer. I've had people walk all over my dreams since birth. I've got a
very thick skin. So please, FOR THE LOVE OF ANIME, WRITE ME!!
As promised, here's the link to Gary's Page:
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics
It has good stuff.
Here's the E-mail address:
latin_wolf@hotmail.com
For those of you who actually like my writing (are you feeling okay?) my
webpage is at
http://geocities.com/Tokyo/Bay/6902/index.html
It has some of my writing, a LOT of my drawings, and a few links.
Oh, by the way, Janus is the Roman God of Doors and Time.
______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com